by Puig, Manuel
23. Wednesday. Subject left house at 7:45 A.M. and arrived work 8:51 A.M. Around 10 A.M. telephoned his friend Lalo at the latter’s home, thanking him for the job recommendation, and passed the receiver to one of his employers there in boutique who then spoke to Lalo as well, calling him Soraya of Persia, and eventually clarifying the meaning of said nickname, by remarking, “Soraya, that must be your name because you can never have children.” In turn, the other one, Lalo, called the first Queen Fabiola of Belgium, for same reason. We should again point out that the matter of constantly switching names for each other suggests no premeditation, but rather a simple game which conceals no code of any kind. At 12:30 P.M., subject left work, hailed a cab and was driven to the main branch of Banco Mercantil, where subject proceeded to savings window, took out a sum of cash and from there took a second cab to Calle Suipacha 157, entering the office of a notary public, where it was deemed inadvisable to pursue him, for obvious reasons. Left 18 minutes later and caught still another cab to shop on Calle Berutti. There unwrapped sandwich brought from home that morning, and ate standing up while measuring fabrics with one of the two shop owners. Left 7:20 P.M. and arrived home by about 8:15 P.M. using customary means of transportation. At 9:04 P.M. left premises again, took bus to corner of Federico Lacroze and Alvarez Thomas, then second bus as far as Avenida Cordoba and Medrano. From there walking as far as Soler and Medrano. Paused near the corner, on Medrano, waited almost one hour. It should be pointed out that said corner, separated only by a few yards distance from a second crossing, that of Costa Rica, offers an excellent overall view to whoever would arrive at the above location from any one of four different vantage points, and as a consequence must be thought to be a site selected by party or parties expert at dodging police surveillance. Subject waited and spoke to no one, several cars did pass but none stopped. Subject returned directly home, with no awareness on his part, or so it seemed, of our continuous surveillance. It is the opinion of staff headquarters that subject had arranged a meeting with party or parties who did, however, notice surveillance.
24. Thursday. According to separate report, subject withdrew total savings from bank, leaving only minimum deposit required in order not to close account. Money withdrawn had been deposited at intervals prior to term of imprisonment. At notary public’s office, “José Luis Neri Castro,” subject left sealed envelope in the name of the mother, containing only the above savings, this according to sworn declaration of named executive of said enterprise. Subject’s activities minimal, left for work at regular morning hour, ate lunch at work, with coffee, which subject drank continuously on and off throughout day, there on premises. Arrived home directly, at 8:10P.M. We also note, as per decision at command level, cancellation of project to leak to press imaginary confession, by Arregui to Molina, along with the latter’s supposed undercover work as intelligence agent. Cancellation based upon the probability of pending or possible imminent contact between subject and partisans of Arregui.
25. Friday. Subject arrived at place of employment in the morning, left 12:30 P.M., and went to have lunch, alone, a few blocks away, at a pizzeria, number 2476 on Las Heras. Subject first spoke by public phone at same location, after dialing three times and hanging up immediately, as on previous occasion. Talked for a few minutes. Then ate by himself, or rather had a bite or two, leaving the plate almost untouched. Returned to work. Left there at 6:40 P.M., at Callao caught a bus to Congreso, where then went by subway as far as José Maria Moreno station. Walked to Riglos and Formosa. Waited there approximately thirty minutes, which is to say the amount of time alloted by Central Bureau until subject was to be picked up, if he had not been met by party or parties beforehand, and then taken away for interrogation. Therefore, two agents of the CISL, already in close contact with our patrol unit, proceeded to make the arrest. Subject demanded to see credentials. At that moment, however, several shots were fired from a passing automobile, wounding CISL agent Joaquin Perrone, along with subject, both of whom immediately fell to the ground. The arrival of our patrol unit, minutes later, was too late for pursuit of extremist vehicle. Of the wounded, Molina expired before arriving patrol unit could administer first aid. The above agent, Perrone, suffered thigh wounds plus serious contusions caused by his fall. The impression of other members of the patrol unit is that the extremists preferred to eliminate Molina to avoid the possibility of a confession. In fact, the recent activities of the subject, the matter of the bank account, etc., suggest that he himself feared something might actually occur. Furthermore, if he was in fact aware of our continued surveillance, his plan—in the event of being surprised in an incriminating position—may in fact have been one of the following: either he expected to escape with the extremists, or he was ready to be eliminated by same.
The present compilation of reports has been typed up in quadruplicate, for distribution only to authorized personnel, with the original to remain in this office permanently on file.
CHAPTER 16
* * *
—Which part of your body hurts you the most?
—Agh . . . aghhh . . . aghhh . . .
—Don’t try to talk, Arregui . . . if it hurts you that much.
—Ov- . . . over . . . here . . .
—Third-degree burns, what animals.
—Aiee . . . Agh, no . . . please . . .
—And how many days since you had any food?
—Th- . . . thr- . . . ee . . .
—Bastards . . .
— . . .
—Listen . . . you won’t tell anyone, promise me.
— . . .
—Nod your head whether you want it or not. God, what they did to you it’s barbaric, you’ll be in a lot of pain for quite a few days . . . Listen to me. Nobody’s around here in first aid right now, so I can take a chance and give you some morphine, that way you’ll be able to rest. If you want it, nod your head. But you’re never to tell anyone, because they’ll throw me right out of here.
— . . .
—Okay, you’ll get some relief in just a minute.
— . . .
—There, just a little pinch, and now you’ll start feeling less pain.
— . . .
—Count to forty.
—One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen . . .
—The way they’ve worked you over is unbelievable. Those burns in the groin . . . It will take weeks to heal up. But don’t tell about this or I’m finished. By tomorrow it’ll begin to hurt less.
— . . . twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-th- . . . thirty-three, th-. . . what number am I on? don’t hear any steps anymore, is it somehow possible they’re not following me anymore? if it weren’t for your knowing the way out of here, doctor, and leading me, I couldn’t go on, I’d be afraid of falling into some hole, and is it possible that I’ve covered such a long stretch if I’m so exhausted? from not eating? it must be, and since I keep falling off to sleep, how is it possible that I go on walking without stumbling? “Don’t be afraid, Valentin, the intern is a kind person and he’s going to take care of you,” Marta . . . where are you? when did you get here? I can’t open my eyes because I’m asleep, but please come closer to me, Marta . . . don’t stop speaking to me, can’t you touch me? “Don’t be afraid, I’m listening, but only on one condition, Valentin,” what’s that? “That you don’t hide anything of what you’re thinking, because the moment you do that, even though I want to listen to you I won’t be able to anymore,” no one can overhear us? “No one,” Marta, I’ve been in terrible pain . . . “I want to know how you are now,” and no one could be listening? someone waiting for me to denounce my comrades? “No,” Marta, darling, I hear you speaking inside of me, “Because I’m inside of you,” is that really true? and will it be that way always? “No, that can be only as long as I don’t keep any secrets from you, just as you’re not going to keep any from me,” then I’ll tell you everything, because this very kind intern is le
ading me to some way out of here through this long, long tunnel, “Is it very dark?” yes, and he told me that at the end there’ll be a light, very far away, but I don’t know if it’s true because I’m asleep and hard as I try, I can’t seem to open my eyes, “What are you thinking about this very minute?” my eyelids are so heavy that it’s impossible to open them, I’m so very sleepy, “I hear water running, and you?” water when it runs over stones is always clean and if I could reach over to where the water is with my hand, I could wet the tips of my fingers and then moisten my eyelashes to unseal them, but I’m afraid, Marta, “You’re afraid of waking up and finding yourself in your cell,” then it’s not certain that someone is going to help me to escape? I can’t remember, but this warmth that I’m beginning to feel in my hands and on my face is like the sun’s, “It’s possible that it’s beginning to be light,” I don’t know if the water is clean, do I dare take a sip? “Moving ahead in the direction of the water, surely it’ll be possible to get to wherever it empties,” it’s true, but it looks like what I see is really a desert, there are no trees, or houses, nothing more than the dunes that follow each other as far as the eye can see, “Instead of a desert, couldn’t it be the sea?” yes, it is the sea, and there’s a stretch of very hot sand, I have to run so that I don’t burn the soles of my feet, “What else can you see?” from one end of the coast to the other there’s no sign of that painted ship made of cardboard, “And what is it that you hear there?” nothing, you don’t hear any maracas, the pounding of the waves and nothing else, sometimes the waves are so big they crash on the shore and reach up as far as where the palm trees begin, Marta . . . it looks like a flower fell in the sand, “A wild orchid?” if the waves reach it they’ll carry it out too far, and is it possible for the wind to carry it off just as I was about to pick it up? and carry it way far out to sea, and it doesn’t matter if it disappears because I can swim and I’ll dive in, but right in the place where I’m sure that the flower sank . . . what you see now is a woman, a native girl, I could reach her if she didn’t try to escape me by swimming so fast, I don’t reach her though, Marta, and it’s impossible to shout under the water and tell her not to be afraid, “Underwater you hear whatever one is thinking,” she looks at me unafraid, a man’s shirt is tied across her chest, but I’m so tired already, I have no more oxygen left in my lungs after such a long swim underwater, but Marta, the native takes my hand and lifts me up to the surface, she puts a finger to her lips as a sign that I shouldn’t speak, the wet knot is tied so tightly that she can’t undo it without my help, and while I untie the knot she looks the other way . . . I didn’t remember that I was naked and I’m brushing against her, the island girl bushed with embarrassment now puts her arms around me, my hand is warm and I touch her and it dries her right away, I touch her face, her long hair down to the waist, her hips, her navel, her breasts, her shoulders, her back, her tummy, her legs, her feet, and again her tummy, “Can I ask you to pretend that she’s me?” yes, “But don’t tell her anything, don’t be critical of her, let her think she is me, even if she fails in some way,” with a finger to her lips the native signals me not to say a word, but to you, Marta, I’ll tell everything, since I feel the same as I felt with you, because you’re with me, and soon this jet will spurt out of me, white and warm from my insides and I’m going to flood her, oh, Marta, such joy, yes I will tell you everything so that you won’t go away then, so that you’ll be with me every minute, especially now, in this instant, don’t think of leaving me, this precise instant! the most beautiful of all, now, yes, don’t move, it’s better quiet, now, now, and later on, in a while, I’ll also tell you that the native is closing her eyes because she’s sleepy, she wants to rest, and if I close my eyes, who knows when I’ll be able to open them again? my eyelids are so heavy, when it gets dark I’m not going to be able to tell because my eyes are closed, “And you’re not cold? it’s night and you’re sleeping out in the open, the sea air is cool, didn’t you feel cold during the night? tell me,” no, I didn’t feel cold, my back touched this sheet that’s so smooth and warm on which I slept every night since I came to the island, and I don’t know how to explain it, my love, but the sheet seems like . . . like in reality it’s very smooth and warm skin, of a woman, and you don’t see anything more in this place than that skin which reaches as far as the eye can see, you don’t see anything else but the skin of a woman lying down, I’m like a grain of sand in the palm of her hand, she’s lying in the sea and she lifts her hand and from up here I can see that the island is a woman, “The native?” I can’t make out the face, it’s too far, “And the sea?” just the same as always, I keep swimming underwater and you can’t see the bottom it’s so very deep but underwater my mother hears every word I’m thinking and we’re talking, do you want me to tell you what she’s asking? “Yes,” well . . . she’s asking me if it’s true all that stuff in the papers, that my cellmate died, in a shootout, and she’s asking if it was my fault, and if I’m not ashamed of having brought him such awful luck, “What did you answer her?” that yes, it was my fault, and that yes, I am very sad, but that there’s no point in being so sad because the only one who knows for sure is him, if he was sad or happy to die that way, sacrificing himself for a just cause, because he’s the only one who will ever have known, and let’s hope, Marta, how much I wish it with all my heart, let’s hope that he may have died happily, “For a just cause? hmmm . . . I think he let himself be killed because that way he could die like some heroine in a movie, and none of that business about a just cause,” that’s something only he can know, and it’s possible that even he never knew, but in my cell I can’t sleep anymore because he got me used to listening to him tell films every night, like lullabies, and if I ever get out of here sometime I’m not going to be able to call him and invite him over to dinner, he who had invited me so many times, “And what would you like to have most to eat this minute?” I’m swimming with my head above the water now so that way I won’t lose sight of the island coast, and I’m very tired by the time I reach the sand, it doesn’t burn anymore because the sun isn’t so strong anymore and before it starts to get dark I have to look for some fruit, you don’t know how beautiful it is here with this mixture of palm trees, and lianas, at night it’s all silvery, because the film is in black and white, “And the music in the background?” very soft maracas, and drums, “Isn’t that a sign of danger?” no, it’s the music that announces, when they switch on a strong spotlight, the appearance of such a strange woman, with a long dress on, that’s shining, “Silver lamé, that fits her like a glove?” yes, “And her face?” she’s wearing a mask, it’s also silver, but . . . poor creature . . . she can’t move, there in the deepest part of the jungle she’s trapped in a spider’s web, or no, the spiderweb is growing out of her own body, the threads are coming out of her waist and her hips, they’re part of her body, so many threads that look hairy like ropes and disgust me, even though if I were to touch them they might feel as smooth as who knows what, but it makes me queasy to touch them, “Doesn’t she speak?” no, she’s crying, or no, she isn’t, she’s smiling but a tear rolls out from beneath the mask, “A tear that shines like a diamond?” yes, and I ask her why she’s crying and in a close-up that covers the whole screen at the end of the film she answers me that that’s just what can never be known, because the ending is enigmatic, and I answer her that it’s good this way, that it’s the very best part of the film because it signifies . . . and at that point she didn’t let me go on, she said that I wanted to find an explanation for everything, but that in reality I was just talking from hunger although I didn’t have the courage to admit it, and she was looking at me, but every minute she seemed sadder and sadder, and more and more tears fell, “Mmm, more diamonds,” and I didn’t know what to do to get rid of her unhappiness, “I know what you did, and I’m not jealous, because you’re never going to see her again in your whole life,” it’s just that she was so sad, don’t you see? “But you enjoyed it, and I shouldn’t
forgive you for that,” but I’m never going to see her again in my whole life, “And is it true that you’re very hungry?” yes, it’s true, and the spider woman pointed out to me the way through the forest with her finger, and so I don’t know where to even begin to eat so many things I’ve found now, “Are they very tasty?” yes, a leg of roast chicken, crackers with big chunks of fresh cheese and little rolled up slices of cooked ham, and a delicious piece of glazed fruit, it’s pumpkin, and later with a spoon I get to eat all the guava paste I want to, without worrying about finishing it all because there’s so much, and I’m getting so sleepy, Marta, you can’t imagine how much I just feel like sleeping after eating all that food I found thanks to the spider woman, and after I have one more spoonful of this guava paste and after I sleep . . . “You want to wake up already?” no, much, much later, because after eating all these rich foods such a heavy sleep has come over me, and I’ll just go on talking with you in my sleep, will it be possible? “Yes, this is a dream and we’re talking together, so even if you fall asleep you don’t have to be afraid, and I think now that nothing is ever going to separate us again, because we’ve realized the most difficult thing of all,” what’s the most difficult thing of all to realize? “That I live deep inside your thoughts and so I’ll always remain with you, you’ll never be alone,” of course that’s it, that’s what I can never let myself forget, if the two of us think the same then we’re together, even if I can’t see you, “Yes, that’s it,” so when I wake up on the island you’re going to go away with me, “Don’t you want to stay forever in such a beautiful place?” no, it’s been so good up to now, but enough resting, once I’ve eaten everything up and after some sleep I’m going to be strong again, because my comrades are waiting for me to resume the age-old fight, “That’s the only thing that I don’t ever want to know, the name of your comrades,” Marta, oh how much I love you! that was the only thing I couldn’t tell you, I was so afraid you were going to ask me that and then I was going to lose you forever, “No, Valentin, beloved, that will never take place, because this dream is short but this dream is happy.”
