I do love cracking a window open sometimes, just to feel the breeze as the leaves pass my window but I won’t dare to reach out and grab one. Leaves are pretty when on the trees but when they fall they seem to fall apart and crumple into the tiny insignificant seedlings they once began as.
With two full portraits of the Mona Lisa and a small drawing of the typical blue jay, I set off downstairs for a midafternoon snack. The hours seemed to fly by whenever I was being creative as if the world I was surrounded by didn’t exist and I liked to keep it that way. With my red tie-dye shirt tied above my waist and my acid-washed denim skirt, I made my way past the other girls who were gossiping over the latest dreams they’ve had about their ‘wanna-be parents’. So many couples came through those doors and were not ready for a child, especially a teenage girl. Most were younger couples claiming they wanted to save our lives and not let someone go without a home yet they never left with any one of us. 34 to be exact, yes I counted. Almost 57 and a half couples have come and became really close with most of the girls but decided they couldn’t choose just one so they decided on no one. The half was because one girl, back when I was seven, almost was adopted but then she cried because they weren’t taking her friend with them, typical child.
Ms.Jakes constantly told me that I was destined for great things and nobody chose me because they couldn’t see my potential. Her words dug deep into my heart as I wished someone would want me as their own, just once. Ms.Jakes and I had always been distant but she kept a close eye on me, as if she was watching over me for my own safety. She always said that I was special and obviously they didn’t see me fitting into their family and apparently that wasn’t a bad thing.
I would die for someone to want me to be a part of their family and would literally jump at the opportunity. I wasn’t super picky, I just never got alone with anyone who walked through the door. I would peak through my window whenever a car would show up and decide if they were worth my presence, 99 per cent of the time, nobody was a clear fit. The couples would walk past me and whisper to each other, as if they knew I who I was before even getting the chance to meet me.
The fridge was always filled with fruits and vegetables and the occasional yogurt tube if Ms. Jakes was feeling generous that week. What she didn’t know is that I knew where she stashed away the chocolate brownies and those were always my go-to snack. She never brought up when one or two were missing because then everyone would know about the stash. Thankfully, I saw her in the drawer when I went downstairs for a drink a couple months ago and ever since it’s been my secret.
With a brownie in my pocket and a yogurt tube in hand, I headed back to my room to continue sitting in silence with my own thoughts. As I sat among the sharpened coloured pencils and sketchbooks upon the floor, I looked outside the window as the light breeze ruffled my hair in front of my face.
I propped myself upon the window sill and sat staring into the city a few miles in the distance. The foster home was separated from the city by a large corn field that we are forbidden to go through. I’ve lived in this house my whole life yet I have never been within 10 feet of the corn field. I was always one to follow rules but I never found it fascinating like the other girls did. They were definitely meant to live in a big city and have their luggage carried for them as they walked the streets in Prada and Gucci outfits. I on the other hand, enjoyed my ripped t-shirts, fading jeans and white slip-ons. I found the memories made in clothes more meaningful than buying a new shirt after I wore it for a couple of years. I lived my life in these clothes, why would I just throw that all away.
With my sketchbook in my lap and a sky blue coloured pencil in between my fingers, I began to draw the sky. The clouds created images of owls flying, a giraffe with a crooked neck and a frog with a crown upon its head. I would do anything to be outside laying in the grass staring up at the clouds. I hated the outside though, you can’t control what happens to you outside, and nobody can predict the unpredictable. If I stayed within the house walls, I would be safe and be able to control what happens to me. What if I got a rash from an allergic reaction I had to something outside, what if my eyes become bloodshot because some dirt was swept up from the ground and flew into my eye. I just wasn’t meant to be an outside girl I guess.
As the sun began to set, it was time to start to turn in the day and get into something comfier. I threw on my striped blue and black pajama bottoms with a white tank top and some grey slippers. I put my hair into a messy bun on top of my head and jumped under my blankets with my head closest to the wall.
As I began to shut my eyes and doze off, I heard a large bang from the main floor. My heart began to race. Nobody was allowed downstairs let alone out of their rooms during the night so my mind immediately jumped to every worst case scenario. I could hear some of the younger girls whispering in the room next to me, confused and petrified. Some of the girls within the house were as young as five so it was always a house of destruction but never a sound this loud.
Within two minutes of the loud sound that woke up the entire house, everyone was gathered in Ms. Jakes room. Most of the younger girls were hidden in the closet while me and two others gathered the big objects in the room and placed them in front of the door. We heard loud bangs of smashing glasses mixed with angry voices of men. As Ms. Jakes tried to calm down the younger girls, I became numb as my hand was clutched onto by one of the girls who stood next to me. I never had a connection to any of the girls in the house but when I looked into Lindsay’s eyes, I knew this would be the last time I saw her beautiful green eyes.
I wasn't expecting what happened next. I felt a tug on my blouse and I was pushed forward to my knees. A large, dirty hand covered my mouth with a sheet of soft felt and I fell into a deep sleep. I remember being carried as if I was a baby, gentle and as if I was important. I heard faint screams, you could hear the panic in Ms. Jakes voice as she yelled my name repeatedly. Gun shots. The screams began to fade and the gun shots became smoother. One after another, as if in sync.
No bruises. No tears.
CHAPTER 7
ROSE
I remember humming and distant laughs, as if they were miles away but as faint as the ending of a song. I woke up to movement, not my own but whatever I was in. I opened my eyes and looked to what appeared to be a corner of girls, huddled together. I looked around to feel a wall next to me and felt down my body to realize I was only in my bra and underwear. I looked to the girls confused and one reached out her hand, "Come." That was all she said for the next 10 minutes, quietly as she shook from the cold air.
I tried to get to my feet but was scared of falling. I began to crawl towards the group and all five turned towards me as if I was invading their home. I reached for one's hand and she pulled me into their group. We became close fast, with arms around my back and our skin close to joining, they were now once again, along with me.
I couldn’t see around me but all I knew was that I was warm and with every attempt of whimpering or the feel of tears falling I would feel a sharp pinch in my side. That wasn't allowed. That was when I started to realize what was going on.
The doors opened suddenly, alarming all of us. The group started to whimper and cries became louder. I stayed silent and tried to hide behind the bigger girls as they started pushing one of the girls towards the two men. She began to scream and clutch onto their forearms and hair. The two men grabbed her legs and pulled her out of the truck and the doors closed once again.
"What was that?" I screamed.
They all looked at me with disgust.
"We're together when it's cold, when they come for
us, it's a free for all."
"Who is they?" I asked.
"The Captors."
CHAPTER 8
JOYCE
It’s been eight hours since Davis sent his minions to find me and bring me back to that horrid place but they would have to rip me from my post in order for that to happen. I fought to survive all my life and he wasn’t going to rui
n it for me again. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking when I escaped, he had failed not only himself but clients as well. He was losing his most experienced woman for the job which means he only sent them looking for me because he’s losing money. I hope to keep it that way.
Davis caught me when I was only 14 years old. I was on a morning walk with my little yellow lab named Honey, she was my everything and the first official pet I ever had. We usually went on morning walks to see the sunrise by the beach but that morning was different. Honey seemed strange and wasn’t really into our walk like she usually was. She wasn’t her energetic puppy self.
When we finally got to the beach, Honey and I sat in our usual spot underneath a bamboo tree with the perfect view of the sunrise over the ocean. Honey usually laid on my lap with her head propped up on arm but this day was different. She sat facing away from the beach, like she was staring at something but nothing was there. When she started to bark, that's when I knew something was wrong.
I felt a strong tug on my hair as a hand reached from behind the tree I was leaning against. Honey began to bark louder and tried to run away but her leash was tangled amongst the bushes. There were two men I saw but heard another who grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth with a towel, that was Davis. What I didn’t know is that this would be the last time I’d see Honey or my world again.
I had tried to reach for my bag as I had always carried pepper spray or some kind of painful object for ‘just in case’ purposes. It would have come in handy this time around. The men were loud and seemed to have no means of being quiet, nobody would say anything even if they saw them taking me.
I lived in a city where everyone kept to themselves and let others business in one ear and out the other. Even if someone were to walk past a kidnapping, they would automatically turn around or turn a blind eye because they didn’t want to be involved.
I tried to scream but no sound came out from beneath his dirt covered hands, the cloth came as a surprise as it seemed as if it was an afterthought. It tasted of alcohol but smelt like a grass-stained t-shirt that had been bought and ripped apart moments before.
I felt my mind slipping away as I became dizzy and feverish within the arms of a stranger. My eyes became tired as the chloroform began to soak into my nose as it was pressed tight against the roof of my mouth as if it was seeping through my veins into my soul. I heard faint yelling as the men couldn’t agree on what to do with me. One was supposed to take me but forgot to bring a bag and the other just wanted to be rid of my whimpering. Davis’ decision was the final say, I wish they would have just killed me.
CHAPTER 9
ROSE
When I woke up and the girls were all talking within the corner, tiny whispers of names circulated around the tiny rectangular room.
"What is yours?" One of the older looking girls asked. She had a face of smeared makeup and bleach blonde hair that was in two long mid-back length braids.
"What's it to you?" I snapped back. "Next." She looked straight into my eyes and smiled back to the group of girls who looked to her as a god.
"Excuse me, why do you get to decide?"
"Because I'm not only bigger but I also get to decide."
I looked at her as if she was crazy. Maybe she worked for them or was just trying to avoid whatever was outside those doors.
"Why are we even here?" My eyes filled with tears, I couldn't hold them back anymore. One of the tinier girls crept out from behind the group, as if she had been behind them and nobody had known.
"Well they obviously want us for something right?" Her eyes widened.
"Wait, where is everyone from?" Piped up another.
We went around the circle and said where we were from, Moscow, Samara, Tula.
“We're all from completely different cities, how is this possible!" screamed another.
A hush came over the back of the truck as the truck came to a rolling stop. A man came to the back of the truck and slowly opened the door.
"Shut up. Stop the talking or else."
He shut the door and locked the padlock.
"I'm so confused," cried a younger girl.
"Does anyone know why they took us?" I whispered.
"Sex trade." Said the leader.
Tears filled everyone's eyes. The panic began to sit in and you could see it on the beet read faces of the young girls. We all had to be under 18 and some of the smaller ones had to be in their early teens.
"How old are you?" I pointed to one of girls.
"Seven"
"Seven"
year-old but she was only 5'1. We were all very tiny girls and our age seemed to be irrelevant.
"Maybe we should try and stick together," I pointed out.
"I've been in this stupid box for three weeks, I'm not going to jeopardize my life for people I don’t even know." Said the leader.
"Three weeks?" One girl said in a normal voice.
"All the girls that were in here with me were taken, I'm just trying to survive." Said the leader.
"Let's at least tell each other our names, I don't want to sit here with complete strangers." I said sarcastically, this made everyone giggle a little.
"I'm Rose.” I was sitting with Chloe, Kelly, Lily and Maggie. The names came out silently and in an uncomfortable manner. I have never been in a room of girls that weren't giggling and gossiping. These girls were different.
The doors opened once again, this time, it was different.
"Everyone out!" Yelled a white man.
He was about 6'5” and stood at a heavy build. He reminded me of our milkman, the way his beard sat upon his face and his dagger-like eyes. I wondered how he got into this, maybe it was a family business or he needed to provide for his family, with any means necessary.
We all hesitated. Nobody knew what to do or how to act. We're we supposed to run or fight back? Do we listen to him and display obedience? None of us knew.
"I said out!" The white man yelled again as he slammed his hand against the outside of the truck. He wasn't in sight but we knew he was there, waiting.
I crawled slowly to the edge of the truck’s entrance, trying to find a way out. We were surrounded by brick walls that showed age and tiny light bulbs hung in a straight line down the middle of the narrow hallway leading to another large door.
I couldn't move, I felt as if I was in a dream where I knew what was going on but didn't believe it. It was a dream that I couldn't change what was happening or see the outcome. All I knew is that I was in trouble and I needed to find a way out.
After each girl either voluntarily jumped out of the truck or was dragged by their ankles. We all gathered against the brick wall closest to three men and a large bag. As they inspected our hair, faces and arms, we were separated into pairs. It looked as if we were grouped in pairs because one of us would be taken next without severely alarming the rest of us, or so I thought. It was Chloe and Kelly, and Lily and Maggie, I was left standing alone. As one of them ordered the three guys to take the other girls to the next room, I dropped into a sitting position and leaned against the wall.
I was given many helpless looks as the other girls were lead off, this might have been the last time I saw them. My eyes became small and tired as my head began to fall between my legs, I felt as if I had been sitting here for hours.
The man paced back and forth in front of me for hours, thinking I was asleep. I had always wanted to be asleep on the couch so someone would carry me to my room, not because I was tired but because I loved the feeling of being a princess being carried to my chambers. To say the least, I was very good at acting.
"God damn it!" A loud roar made my head bob in shock.
I slowly brought my head to a slight upwards position, just to get a glimpse of his reaction. He stared at me as if something was my fault but I couldn’t fathom to ask. He stared blankly at his phone with angry remarks to whoever he was waiting for a call from. He put the phone in his pocket and took it out again without any hesitation roug
hly about four times before completely losing his mind and screaming in anger. I was completely terrified. What really scared me was when the phone rang and he looked up at me for the first time meeting my eyes,
“Are you ready?,” he smiled.
I felt my eyes build with tears as my heart raced. He kept eye contact while on the phone the entire
time, giving me a look that I will never forget. The look of my death. After what seemed to be an hour without him saying a word and just listening on the phone, he finally said what gave me the most uncomfortable shiver down my spine.
“I’ll bring her to you now then.” As I struggled to stand, he laughed at my attempt to pick myself up using the wall. I felt nothing but ashamed of myself and what was about to happen. I wasn’t embarrassed but more so uncomfortable with the fact that I didn’t know who or what to expect.
As I walked in front of him down a narrow hall, he continued to belittle me by poking my back harshly with a wooden rod as if I had had anywhere to run too. The walk was long but silent. I couldn’t believe that so much changed within a matter of days. I wish I could ask him why he was doing this, why me. No matter how hard I tried to scream no sound came out. My body became numb and I felt nothing as I walked down the long hallway in order to follow this man’s orders. I couldn’t breathe through my nose as the smell of cannabis and dirty laundry filled the air. I could barely see in front of me as the air filled with a fog like substance. Almost as if something was being hidden in in front of me.
As we reached the end of the hallway, he pushed me into a tiny room. I was once again surrounded by nothing. A tanned wall with a metal chair was all that the room comprised of. I was pushed to my knees and looked up to a white man whose hair was as dark as his eyes. Black. His face was beat up and had bruises amongst most of his upper body. From what I could tell, he was a fighter.
“So this is her?” He said with a disgusted face. “She’s the best we got.” said the man who brought me in here. I continued to study the man’s face as he studied mine. I felt as if I was being judged on every level of the words “for sale”.
A Delicate Flower Page 2
