Livvie closed her eyes and ran her hands through her wet hair. If she stayed in her room any longer, she would cry, and she didn’t want her eyes to become all puffy. With her luck Mr. Birkshire or Drake would knock on her door. She desperately needed to go outside and breathe in the fresh air.
Since she had barely unpacked, Livvie opened her suitcase and grabbed her favorite pair of jeans and her green, ribbed tank top. She wasn’t in the mood to put on a pretty sundress or wear something sexy; she just wanted to wear something that made her feel like herself. And this was always her go-to comfy outfit. If she ran into Drake and he judged her for it, then so be it. She didn’t need to prove herself to anyone, especially a commitment-phobe like him. Besides, she would do everything to avoid him. Her hair was still wet from the shower, and she felt like shit. She squeezed any remaining water from her hair and threw on her black sandals. Then she applied some light-pink lip-gloss and ran out of her room in a hurry.
Livvie ran so hard that the second she inhaled the fresh outdoor air she started to cough. She bent over and rested her hands on her knees to catch her breath. She wasn’t out of shape. She did yoga four times a week and went to the gym three days. But internally, she felt unhinged, as if she was being continuously punched in the stomach and trying to fight the pain.
Finally, she calmed her breathing and looked around. She’d exited the castle through a different back door than the one she had used earlier. Right now, avoiding Drake was her priority. He only wanted to sleep with her. Then, once he got her, she’d be left feeling empty. No way would she let a man do that to her again.
Livvie walked through the vineyard but in the opposite direction from the one she’d taken that morning. She felt a lot better, being out in the open air. She needed this. Nature always made her happier, which was why she had agreed to come on this vacation. That and the fact that her winning ticket assured her of free room and board and a plane ticket paid for by Morganthal Winery.
Livvie found a vacant bench by the side of the castle. She sat down and looked all around. It was so pretty here. Drake had told her earlier that Mr. Birkshire would come here and think. He thought there was something special about this land. Maybe if she sat here long enough, she’d feel it, too. Inhaling the fresh air, she allowed it to seep into her lungs. She hoped that maybe, somehow, her soul would be fed. Maybe she’d feel alive again. She missed that feeling. Writing made her feel alive.
She’d felt alive and happy when she first went to college. And then she’d met Liam and had fallen in love. When she met him, he was in the prelaw program, and then he went to law school. Livvie thought he was probably working for his dad’s firm by now. That had always been his vision. And she thought she’d go on to get her Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing, but she hadn’t done so. When Liam cheated on her, she’d run to Los Angeles. She’d felt grateful when the producers had hired her to write for Raven’s Edge. And then Zach appeared in her life, and she felt as if her dreams were coming true without Liam, which meant so much to her. And now look at her.
Livvie closed her eyes, leaned back on the bench, and extended her legs straight out. She clasped her hands and laid them against her stomach. She wasn’t a pretty sight, but she didn’t care. She was tired of being someone she didn’t want to be. All she wanted to do was write. That’s when she truly felt at peace. Maybe she’d feel a similar peace this week at Morganthal Winery. But not if she continued to feel so screwed up over Drake.
“Excuse me, Ms. Collins?”
Livvie opened her eyes and practically jumped off the bench. It was Andrew from last night, although he seemed different than when she’d met him at dinner. He was wearing jeans and a blue polo shirt to match his clear-blue eyes. The short sleeves highlighted his bulging arm muscles. His blond hair looked messier, but she loved that he wore it a little on the long side. He looked really good.
“Ms. Collins, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I’m checking to see if you need anything?”
“No, you’re not disturbing me at all. I’m good. I don’t need anything, but thanks for asking. I was inside and needed some fresh air.” Livvie smiled at him simply because he was adorable.
When he returned her smile, her breath caught in her throat. Drake was super handsome, but Andrew was adorable. And she could bet he’d be open to having a real relationship. Not that she was thinking that way, but she was sure he wouldn’t have made her choose between a Plan A and a Plan B. And he wasn’t an arrogant alpha-male.
Sliding over slightly, Livvie made room for him to sit down. He seemed nice and harmless. Maybe some small talk would make her forget her problems.
“Yeah, I like coming to this bench to think, too. It’s kind of away from it all but close enough to the castle that if you have to use the bathroom or get something to drink, you can run back in.”
“Do you want to take a seat?”
Andrew ran his hands through his hair, making it look even messier and sexier. He smiled and sat so close to her that their knees were slightly touching. For a split second, Livvie felt a twinge of guilt. If Drake saw them, he might not be happy, but then again, he wasn’t offering her anything but sex.
“So how long have you worked here?”
Andrew turned toward her and licked his lips. But it was his eyes that intrigued her. He looked at her as if he wanted to devour her, but his gaze lacked the dominance and intensity of Drake’s.
“I’ve worked here for the last two years. I don’t only serve Mr. Morganthal his meals, you know. I also help take care of the vines.” Andrew licked his lips again.
Livvie did not find the action sexy at all, but she’d bet that was his intention.
“And I go to college. I’m in the seven-year school plan versus the four-year plan. Did you go to college?”
“Yes.”
Livvie glanced down at Andrew’s hand that was inching toward her knee.
“Were you on the seven-year plan?” He leaned in closer to her.
“No, I was on the four-year plan. But seven years would have been nice.”
Livvie smiled, and he moved even closer. Was he going to kiss her? Did she want him to? And why was it that with him she would have contemplated a one-night stand, but with Drake it was out of the question?
Because Drake can hurt me, she thought. And Andrew couldn’t. Because she didn’t feel intense passion with him. She didn’t feel anything with him. And she wished she didn’t feel anything for Drake, either.
Andrew leaned in even closer, fully ready to go in for the kill, but Livvie felt undecided if she’d let him. She stared at his lips, hoping they would give her the answer, when she felt a presence behind her. In fact, it was more than a presence; it was a force.
“What the hell is going on?” Drake said sternly.
Livvie turned her head as she felt her entire face growing warm, and Andrew jumped off the bench. So much for him coming to her rescue.
“Andrew and I were just talking.” Livvie smiled sweetly, trying to ease the tension oozing off Drake, but the dark intensity in his eyes told her it hadn’t worked.
“So you lie to me again.” Drake spoke in an authoritative tone.
Livvie swallowed hard.
“Sorry, Mr. Morganthal. I was on break and seeing if Ms. Collins wanted anything.” Andrew stuttered some of his words. “I’m going back to work now.” He turned around to leave.
“Andrew, I haven’t dismissed you yet.”
Andrew turned back around. His face was pale, and his hands were trembling. He quickly put them in his pockets. “Sorry, Mr. Morganthal.”
“Consider this your first and last warning. If I ever catch you flirting with—or worse, touching—Ms. Collins again, I’ll personally escort you off my vineyard and make sure you never get a job in the entire Napa area again. Do you understand?”
“Drake!” Livvie said.
But it was no use. Drake continued staring at Andrew as if he had committed some horrific crime, and Andrew’s face becam
e even paler.
“I understand, Mr. Morganthal,” Andrew said softly.
“Good. I’m glad we had this chat.” Drake paused. “You’re excused now, Andrew. Go back to work.”
“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” Andrew instantly turned and then practically ran away.
“That was harsh,” Livvie said. And she meant it. How dare he treat Andrew that way! He wasn’t doing anything wrong.
Drake grinded his teeth as he spoke. “Don’t tell me how to treat my employees.”
“I’m not telling you how to treat your employees; I’m telling you how wrongly you treated one employee.” Livvie stood and ran her hands through her hair. There went her idea that she’d find some peace outside and not run into Drake. Livvie groaned.
“Frustrated, Olivia?” Drake raised an eyebrow.
“You could say that.”
“I’m more than willing to help you with that.” Drake raked his eyes down her body.
How dare he, thought Livvie. “I want more than a fuck and run,” she said.
Drake smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. In fact, it made his eyes look even more dangerous.
“And you’re demanding this after only knowing me for twenty-four hours?”
Livvie bit her bottom lip. This wasn’t going how she planned, because she hadn’t planned. What had happened to the Drake from this morning? The charmer? She’d liked him, a lot.
“No, I’m not demanding anything at all,” Livvie whispered. She closed her eyes, desperately wanting to forget this confrontation.
“Do you want him?”
Livvie opened her eyes and scrunched her forehead. “Who?”
Drake stepped closer to her. “Don’t lie to me. You know exactly who I’m talking about.”
She wasn’t lying. She was honestly confused, but she knew whom he meant. It had just taken her a moment. “No,” she whispered again.
Drake stepped closer.
“Then why were you allowing him to kiss you?” He stepped even closer.
“I didn’t. I wasn’t.” She felt flustered with him so close.
“Olivia, do not lie to me,” he demanded.
Out of nowhere, Drake grabbed her and smashed his lips against hers. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, forcing her to open for him. And once his tongue was where he wanted it to be, he slowed down, moving his lips sensually on hers. Livvie moaned and followed his lead. Dominant men had kissed her before, but nothing could compare to this. This kiss felt like heaven. His lips one moment felt smooth, and then rough, like the man himself. Livvie had never been into the tongue thing, but he made it feel natural, like two new lovers exploring each other. Drake moved even closer to her, pressed his entire body against her. She threw her arms around his neck and ran her hands through his thick, dark hair. She had been dying to do this since the day they met.
And then it hit her. She had only met him yesterday. And today she was kissing him as if she couldn’t get enough of him. And she couldn’t. That scared the life out of her. At the end of this week, he would want nothing from her, and she wanted more for herself. She needed to write again. Without her writing, she wasn’t grounded. She wasn’t centered. She was off balance. Writing centered her. Writing made her feel whole.
But Drake was the one who inevitably broke the kiss.
“Olivia, where did you go?”
Livvie looked into his eyes, which were filled with concern, and that was her undoing. Tears instantly welled up in her eyes, and she tried desperately to swallow them down, but she couldn’t stop them. One was already sliding down her cheek.
“Olivia, I made you cry.” He looked panicked.
He grabbed Livvie and sat her down on the bench. She held onto her arms.
“No, Drake, it’s not you.”
Shock appeared in his eyes. “You’re giving me a line? Not only are you the first woman to reject me, but you’re the first woman to give me that line.” Drake paused and ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I blew it. I touched you intimately, and I gave you my word I wouldn’t. If you want to leave, I understand. I’ll buy you a plane ticket to anywhere you want to go. You could have a one-week vacation like the raffle ticket promised. Hell, I’ll even fly you to most expensive hotel in Hawaii. I’m sorry. I’m normally not like this. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into me.”
Livvie placed her hands gently on his cheeks. “Drake, stop. I enjoyed the kiss.”
“But I promised you I wouldn’t touch you intimately.” Drake looked intensely at her.
“But it happened. And we didn’t fuck. We just kissed.”
He was studying her. She felt as if he was trying to read her soul, which both unnerved her and made her feel even more vulnerable.
“What’s wrong, Olivia?” he asked in a way that made her feel as if she mattered. “Olivia, I may want you more than I’ve ever wanted another woman in my entire life, but I also want to get to know you.”
“Why?” she whispered.
Drake held her face as if she was a precious doll. “From the moment I saw you parked below my castle, I wanted you. The way you looked up at my home, it felt as if you were a woman who had been stuck inside the box of life for so long, and for the first time, you were able to breathe. My camera picked up your essence perfectly. You’re beautiful, Olivia. I’ve been with many beautiful women. Your beauty is natural. You don’t need all the heavy makeup or plastic surgery. There’s not an ounce of fakeness inside or outside of you. But there’s also a deep sadness about you.”
Livvie felt another tear roll down her cheek. She tried to swallow them back.
“Please, don’t hold back tears on my account. You’ve been holding them back for so long. For too long.” Drake scanned her face. “What has life done to you, Olivia Collins?”
Livvie tried to pull away, but he only held her chin tighter, forcing her to look at him directly in the eye.
“Compared to other people’s lives, it’s really nothing.” There was no need for him to feel sorry for her. The text from Liz had thrown her off. That’s all it was, and she would get past this.
“Let me be the judge of that.”
Livvie didn’t want to tell Drake about the text. At the same time, she didn’t want to keep it inside. She wanted to talk about it.
“I was working as a writer for a television show. Raven’s Edge?” Livvie looked into Drake’s eyes to see if he recognized it.
He nodded. Of course he did. Everyone had.
“Continue,” Drake ordered.
“And the lead actress quit, which I’m sure you know.”
“No. I’ve never seen the show.”
“Well, once she quit she was replaced by another actress, Missy Wade?”
Drake shook his head. Good, thought Livvie. He didn’t know her. Livvie would have been devastated if he’d slept with her.
“And Missy was terrible, so the ratings went down big-time. Then the producers called me in with five other writers and blamed the lowered ratings on us.”
“But it wasn’t your fault.”
Livvie took a deep breath. “I thought that, too, until I checked my messages on my cellphone before I came out here.” Livvie paused.
“And?” Drake asked.
“I got a text from an assistant from the show who’s in charge of contacting everyone when she has news. She had never taken me off the contact list, I guess. Anyway, her text said that the producers and the network were super happy because their ratings went up. And they thanked the new writers for it.”
“Oh, Olivia, I’m sorry.” Drake grabbed her cheeks with both of his hands.
Tears flowed down Livvie’s face. “But that’s not why I’m so upset. I mean, that’s part of it, but the real reason is that I feel lost without writing. I don’t feel like myself. It’s not that I feel as if I’m so good at it or anything, it’s just that when I write, I feel free. My soul feels alive. And without writing, I feel dead inside.”
“When you write you
feel alive, like the hopeful woman who was looking at my castle in awe.”
Livvie nodded, but the idea that Drake had been staring at her when she first saw his home down on Main Street was a little unnerving. That moment had been meant for her alone. It felt as if Drake had invaded her privacy. She wasn’t ready for that. But what he said next surprised her.
“I know what it feels like to be dead inside.”
“You do?” she asked.
Drake nodded. “When I was working on Wall Street and made a ridiculous amount of money, none of that mattered, because I felt so empty.”
Livvie swallowed. “And that’s why you bought this place?”
“Yes, but buying the land was only a start. Then I needed to build the perfect house that would feed my soul.”
“And did it work?”
Drake smiled. “Somewhat, more than when I was a slave to Wall Street.” Drake paused. “But then I met you. And between dinner last night and our walk through the vineyard this morning, I feel fully alive for the first time in a long while.”
Livvie eyes widened. “But you’ve only known me for twenty-four hours.”
“Yes.”
“And you’re only offering me this week.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s all I can take. You’re afraid of never writing again, but I’m afraid of committing to a woman. Relationships don’t last, Olivia. Once the fighting begins, it’s over.”
“I thought you weren’t afraid of anything.”
“No, you assume I’m not afraid of anything. But if you stop putting me in a category and look at me as a regular man, you would see I have fears like anyone else.”
Drake was right. It was easier to put him in the category of an arrogant alpha-male. Since Zach, she’d been training herself to stay away from them. If Drake were a humble man, he would be harder to resist. Livvie glanced away from Drake and brushed the remaining wetness from her face. Pursuing Drake was still a waste of time. She wished she didn’t want him so badly. And now that she had gotten a taste of his lips, she craved him like mad.
Risking Her Heart: A Contemporary Romance Novel Page 5
