“Were you more turned on when I was staring at you naked or afterward, remembering it?”
Livvie gasped. “Drake,” she said. “Why are you acting like an asshole? And why did you have to bring that up, especially in the entrance hall where anyone could hear?”
“Answer me, or you don’t get these pages back.” He held the pages in his hands as if he was going to rip them apart.
She didn’t think he would really do that, but she also didn’t want him to read them. That wasn’t fair to Veronica. She also didn’t want him to read her contract. “After,” she answered softly.
“And later that night when you were in bed, were you remembering and touching yourself?”
“Yes,” she said a little stronger. She watched Drake’s eyes turn a darker shade of green.
“And did you change the scenario and add me throwing you down and licking you afterward?”
Livvie groaned. “No.” She was using her full voice now.
“No?”
“No, I was imagining us doing other things.”
“Say it,” he demanded.
Livvie shook her head. There was no way she would tell him what she had imagined when she’d masturbated. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. If he ripped up the pages, then so be it. She refused to tell him intimate details when he was acting like a dick.
Drake’s eyes became more intense. More dangerous. “Olivia, you had the courage to come up here yet you don’t have the courage to tell me how you touched yourself?”
Livvie’s heartbeat sped up even more.
He stepped closer to her and gently touched her hair and then her cheek.
Livvie stood completely still. “Because you’re acting like an asshole,” she whispered.
“Am I?”
Gracefully, his hand slid down her body, and Livvie remained immobilized.
“What are you so afraid of?” he whispered as he slid his hand under her dress and moved her panties aside.
“I’m not afraid. I’m mad at you.”
Drake chuckled, while moving his finger inside her vagina. Her body couldn’t resist him. All of her most intimate, sensitive spots were craving his attention. She was soaking wet. She knew it, and now, so did he. Her secret was out of the bag.
When Drake removed his fingers, he didn’t say anything. Without words, he placed his fingers that had been deep inside her into his mouth and sinfully licked and sucked them clean.
Livvie clenched her vagina. She felt exposed, too exposed, and at the same time, she was more frustrated than ever. “Drake.”
He smirked. “Yes, princess?”
She felt so on edge that she couldn’t speak. Why did this man have to drive her so crazy? She hated that she couldn’t get him out of her system. And she hated that she wanted him so much, and she didn’t know how to tell him without making her look like one of his floozy women. Maybe she hadn’t learned her lesson yet.
“Why are you so afraid to tell me what you want? What you need, like a drug?”
Drake knew what she needed. But as much as she wanted him, this felt wrong. She wasn’t feeling any love from him. When he came to the cottage, he had admitted he missed her. But she wanted more. She would always want more from this stubborn, infuriating man.
“I’m surprised that such a talented writer is having trouble putting words together,” Drake said with a twinkle in his eye.
“I can speak,” she said quietly.
“I know you can speak, but instead of telling me what you want right this minute, you’re choosing to hide your words.”
“It doesn’t matter how I feel,” Livvie said. Her body was still pulsing, but she had to get herself together and be in control again.
“Look at you. Your eyes are dilated. Your body is trembling. Your heartbeat is so loud that I’m sure everyone in my castle can hear it. Your skin is flushed. Your nipples are hard. And I’m sure your pussy is still dripping wet. Yet you can’t, or rather you won’t, tell me how badly you want me.” Drake paused. “But I can tell you. I want you all day and all night. I think about your sinful lips, those same sinful lips that sucked my cock so beautifully. I think about your delicious pussy that tastes better than anything my cook and baker combined can make. I think about your breathtaking blue eyes looking at me as if I’m the most incredible man in the world. I think about caressing your long, dark hair and pulling it hard, causing you to moan, which is the most intoxicating sound I’ve ever heard. But that’s not all I think about. I think about your laugh that makes me want to laugh. I think about your smile that lights up the room. I think about all of our conversations we’ve ever had, especially out in my vineyard and on the rooftop. I think about how I like to give you orders, and how much I love watching you obey them. But mainly, I think about how extraordinary you are, and I question if I have it in me to love such an extraordinary woman.” Drake stared at her for a moment and then handed her back the pages.
Livvie stood there, still speechless. This was what she had wanted to hear. This was what she’d been dying to hear. Almost. He still hadn’t told her he loved her.
From the look in his eyes, he was waiting for her to respond, but she had no idea what to say.
Drake stared at her for a moment, nodded, and then walked away.
“Drake!” she yelled.
He didn’t say he loved her, but he still used the word. That had to mean something. Drake turned around and looked at her with those beautiful eyes.
“Am I a challenge to you, Olivia?”
“What? No,” she whispered. “Why would you think that?”
“Because of your past,” he said. “Every night for the last six weeks, I’d lie in bed, wondering why you want to be with me. I’ve never promised you anything. I’ve never offered you the life you want. And then it hit me. I’m a challenge to you.”
“Drake, that’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? Your two biggest relationships ended because they had cheated. I think you want me because the others have left you.”
“That’s not why I want you.” Livvie had no idea where this was coming from.
“Hear me out. Liam and Zach taught you not to trust men. Therefore, you don’t trust me.”
“You haven’t given me any reason to,” she cried.
“Haven’t I? When you stayed here that week, I didn’t make love to you until you wanted it. I flew down to Los Angeles when I thought Zach was harming you. I got the pictures and video of us off the Internet. I did that for you, Olivia. I was there for you when you spoke about Liam,” he continued. “If you trusted me, you would have had the decency to call me and tell me you were writing my mother’s book. And if you asked me if you could stay here, of course, I would have said yes.”
“You don’t want to commit to me. You left me in Los Angeles.” A tear slid down Livvie’s face.
Drake sighed. “I wanted to stay. You have no idea how hard that was for me. Every single night since I left I imagined another man touching you. A man who wasn’t me. Do you know how crazy that’s made me? I left you because my vineyard needed me more than you did. I was giving you time to heal, but not only from me. Zach said some pretty harsh words to you. I thought I’d give you space to write and get back to yourself. I planned on seeing you again, but not like this. I’m afraid to commit, but you want a guarantee. You want me to take a leap of faith and then you want to lock me into a future.”
Livvie threw her hands up in the air. “What do you want me to do? What do you want from me?”
“I wanted you to let me know you were coming here,” he said. “What do I want from you now? I want you to trust me as a friend and as a lover. Only then would I consider taking a leap of faith with you.” Drake didn’t say any more. He turned and walked out of the entrance hall.
Livvie stood there alone again. She didn’t trust him, because he wouldn’t commit to her. But what if Drake was right? What if she couldn’t trust any man? If she started dating someone else, would she always
worry he’d leave her? Probably. Maybe she was hopeless. Or maybe she should take baby steps. It sounded as if Drake had done just that. Maybe if she put his commitment issues aside and trusted him the way she trusted Carly or her parents, their future would work itself out its own. However it was meant to be. Or maybe she should have written Veronica’s book somewhere else and never have come to Drake’s home in the first place.
Livvie put the chapters and contract on the table. Then she walked out of Drake’s house and back to the cottage. She had some serious soul-searching to do.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Livvie paced back and forth in the small cottage. He hadn’t given her any reason to trust him. She was attracted to him more than she had ever been attracted to any other man. He was hot, and she loved his dominating nature. She loved when he gave her orders and how his eyes changed according to his mood. She loved how intelligent he was and how he mentally stimulated her. She loved how she could talk about any subject with him, and he’d listen. But she didn’t trust him. And why would she? He hadn’t earned it. And both Liam and Zach had taught her that a man had to earn a woman’s trust. She never should have trusted either of them. And how could she trust Drake if he never wanted anything real with her?
Livvie sighed. These were questions she should be asking him. And if he answered them the way she wanted, would she suddenly be able to trust him? She honestly wasn’t sure. He never told her he’d commit to her. Every man was not Liam and Zach. And it wasn’t fair of her to put Drake in that category. Yes, he had his issues, but so did she. So did everyone.
Livvie stopped pacing like a maniac and sat in the comfy chair. She grabbed her cellphone and debated if she should text Drake and ask him the question that had been looming in her mind for a few weeks now, or if she should ask him in person. But every time she physically saw him, all she could think about was sex. Texting was the way to go.
Hi, Drake. It’s me.
She waited, practically begging the phone for Drake to respond. After the way he had left her standing in the entrance hall, she wasn’t sure he would answer. But then she saw the three dots, which implied he was typing. She sighed with relief.
Yes?? He responded.
Well, he wasn’t being warm and fuzzy, but at least he wasn’t ignoring her. Her fingers trembled while touching the keys. She had to ask him. It was crucial. She took a deep breath and then typed.
I saw you on the cover of a magazine with some blonde. Have you been with a woman since our expiration date?
There, she had sent it. It was a stupid question, since they weren’t sleeping together then, but it would make a difference. It would mean he was over her, and everything he had said today was a lie. When she saw the dots on her phone again, she froze, awaiting his answer.
Her name is Brittany. She’s been my go-to fuck for the last few years. But I didn’t fuck her. I tried, but I couldn’t.
What did he mean by that?
Because of me?
She immediately got a response.
Yes.
Livvie kept her fingers on the phone. She wanted to ask him more, but texting was the easy way out. She really wanted to tell him she was willing to trust him. So when she saw Drake was typing, the nerves in her stomach were going crazy.
Anything else? I can feel your mind thinking.
Livvie laughed. No. I’m good. Thank you.
She put down the phone and stared at her hands. Maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe she could never trust him, and he would never want a real relationship. Livvie looked at the beautiful cottage she was staying in. She wanted to trust him. She really did. And he hadn’t been with Brittany. Because of me…
Livvie sighed. Maybe she should go back to Los Angeles and write Veronica’s story from there. She picked up the phone to call her, but it went to voicemail. Why wasn’t she answering? Livvie groaned out of frustration. She was too stuck in her head, analyzing her life, and it was driving her crazy. With Veronica not answering her phone, there was only one thing left to do to calm herself down and think more clearly.
So she ran upstairs and opened her night table drawer. She pulled out her journal—the one with the story she was writing about Blake and Haley. Just one more scene to write. How should they end? Happy ever after or break up forever?
She sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard. Grabbing the pen Drake had given her, she started to write her idea of the perfect ending.
Haley had her bags packed, and she was rolling them out of the cabin.
“So that’s it? You’re leaving without saying goodbye?” Blake was walking up from the lake when he saw her. His expression was grim.
She’d hurt him. She could see it in his beautiful eyes, but she was hurting, too.
“You said we’d be together for the week, and then that’s it. We were through. Done.”
Blake ran his hands through his hair. “But that was before I fell in love with you.”
A tear slid down Haley’s face. “You’re leaving, too, Blake. You have a full life in Raleigh, and I have a full life in New York. How are we ever going to work?”
Blake ran up to her and grabbed her shoulders. She could feel her entire body heat up from his touch. She wanted him, and she was about to leave. It didn’t make sense. None of this made sense.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
Haley looked deep into his eyes. He had told her that after this week, they wouldn’t be together, and now he seemed to have changed his mind.
“Do you want us to be together still? Have a long-distance relationship?” she asked him.
Another tear slid down her cheek, and Blake caught it with his thumb and placed it in his mouth, which was almost as intimate as when they made love.
“You didn’t answer me. Do you trust me?”
She didn’t even have to think a minute before she answered. “I trust you with my life,” she said softly.
Blake grabbed her and held her as if their lives depended on it. She didn’t want to lose him. She loved him so much.
“Then we will make this work.” He kissed her head and held her tighter.
“How?” she whispered. Long-distance relationships worked at the beginning, but in her experience, as time went on, it became more difficult.
He stopped hugging her but grabbed her hands instead. “Marry me.”
“Marry you?”
“Marry me. Move to Raleigh. I have plenty of money to support us.”
“Why won’t you move to New York?”
His eyes became more intense as he looked at her.
“If you want to stay in New York, I will. Just marry me, and I’ll move tomorrow.”
“You will?” she whispered again.
“Yes, I love you.”
Haley thought about it. She hated New York. Living in Manhattan wasn’t easy, and the winters were awful. And she had loved this week at the cabin with open spaces and clean air. But most of all, she loved Blake.
“I’d rather move to North Carolina. So yes, I’ll marry you.”
She watched the tension leave Blake’s face but not completely.
“But do you trust me? Do you trust that I’ll always be there for you, no matter what? Do you trust how much I love you? I promise you I’ll do my best to never hurt you. At times I will, unintentionally, but if we communicate with each other, we’ll always work through it.”
Haley grabbed the sides of his face and gave him a kiss.
“Yes, Blake. I trust you with my life.”
Blake looked at her with intense love. Then he picked her up and kissed her with passion, and most of all with love. Nothing in life was ever a guarantee, but Haley was convinced that their love could survive anything.
Livvie put down the pen as tears flowed down her cheeks. She wanted to have the courage Haley had. And she wanted Drake to be like Blake and do whatever it took to be with her.
Exhausted, Livvie leaned back and closed her eyes. Maybe she would get her happ
y ending, too. But before she succumbed to sleep, she opened her eyes and looked at Drake’s bedroom window in his castle.
“I love you, Drake. I really do.” She closed her eyes again and heard her journal fall onto the floor. She would pick it up later, and maybe then she’d put her fears behind her and tell Drake that if he took a leap of faith, she would trust him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
When Livvie heard the key jiggling in the lock on her front door this time, not only was she prepared, but she also knew who it was. She quickly got out of bed, opened her dresser drawer, and changed into her favorite navy-blue silk tank top, and grabbed her favorite skinny jeans. Then she heard Drake scream her name.
“Olivia, I know you’re here. If you don’t come down in one second, I’m coming up.” Drake continued to yell.
“Coming,” she shouted back. Livvie inhaled and closed her eyes. Whatever he was about to say, she needed to be prepared. She only hoped that once he left, her heart wouldn’t have another scar on it, even deeper and darker than the others.
“Olivia!”
Livvie’s eyes shot open, and she cleared her throat. She started walking toward the steps when she noticed she was barefoot. Oh well, she liked being barefoot. It made her feel more grounded.
“I’m coming, asshole,” Livvie said somewhat under her breath.
But when she reached the bottom step, she stood staring at the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. He was wearing jeans and a dark-green polo shirt, which made his olive complexion stand out more. His stomach was flat, but his muscles seemed to have gotten bigger. And his eyes were intoxicating as he stared at her as if she was the sexiest woman in the world.
If he was going to throw her out, she hoped she could tell him how she felt first. As she walked down the last step and moved toward him she felt as if she was facing a demon and an angel wrapped into one. Both of them combined were going to make her confess her deepest and darkest sins.
“I’m here,” she said softly.
Without missing a beat, he spoke in that dark tone she had become addicted to.
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