Alwynn turned around. Merri looked so grown-up, standing there with her jaw jutting out and her head back. She was growing up so quickly. ‘Young lady!’
‘You look far less careworn and your eyes sparkle. I have even heard you laugh. I can’t remember the last time you did that.’
‘There has been too little laughter recently.’
‘You deserve some happiness after all the hard work you put in to save this estate. I asked Gode about it a few days ago. She agreed with me. When you are happy, you are less cross with life.’
Alwynn pinched the bridge of her nose. She had been trying so hard. ‘How long have you known?’
Merri waved an airy hand. ‘Since we brought him from the beach... What about if you have a baby? My father has been dead for far too long to claim it is his.’
‘Merri!’
‘Stepmother. I’ve heard Gode gossiping about such things with Mildreth.’ She gave a smile which was pure Merri—half-innocence and half-rogue, but all things lovable. ‘You needn’t worry. I won’t give this secret away. If it comes to it, we will figure out a way to silence the priests and gossipmongers.’
Alwynn put a hand on her flat abdomen. Merri made it sound easy. But there was no good even considering such a thing.
‘Why did you go into the garden? You normally find another place to be.’ She nudged Merri in the ribs. ‘Too afraid of being made to weed.’
Merri wrinkled her nose. ‘I hate weeding. Mucking out after Purebright is much better. He shows his appreciation. Plants never do anything except curl their toes and die for me.’
Purebright gave a little whoosh of breath.
‘You weren’t spying on me?’
‘Spying is something that people like Oswald do.’ Merri jumped up. ‘Oswald said that he saw a second Northman ship in an inlet. Or maybe it is the same ship except its mast isn’t broken.’
An ice-cold shiver went down Alwynn’s spine. She had convinced herself that Merri’s story was just a made-up tale. But a Northman ship appearing at the same time as Valdar? Could he be...? Her mind immediately rejected the idea. Valdar was nothing like a Northman. He was kind and considerate and he rebuilt things. Nothing like a Northman. The memory of his fevered words scratched her mind. She hurriedly closed that door. She might have been blind about Theodbald’s faults but Valdar was a different man. He was trustworthy and honourable.
Doubting was the surest way to distrust, as her mother used to say, and Alwynn knew she could rely on Valdar.
‘How can Oswald be sure it is the same ship?’ she asked more sharply than she intended. ‘Ships often look the same. It could be from any country.’
Merri leant forward and lowered her voice. ‘It has the same dragon prow. Oswald knows these things.’
Alwynn rubbed her temples and tried to keep the niggling pain at bay. ‘Merri, if there were Northmen in this area, I would know about it. We all would know about it. Churches would be burning.’
Merri’s face fell and she played with her belt. ‘I thought Valdar would want to know. That is all.’
Alwynn’s stomach knotted. For once, she hoped Oswald was wrong. ‘Oswald likes to tell stories. He enjoys teasing you and scaring you.’
Merri was silent for a long while. ‘He does like to scare me.’
‘There, you see.’ Alwynn hated the trembling in her heart. She hated that for even one heartbeat she had wondered if Valdar had been connected to this mysterious ship. How could she doubt him like that?
‘Oswald said that grain has gone missing from his father’s gristmill. And several farmers have had sheep missing.’
‘The mysteries of Oswald’s missing grain and Owain’s missing sheep have been solved.’ Alwynn firmed her mouth.
Merri’s brow furled. ‘I think Oswald is telling tales. Maybe his father wants to save the fine flour for Lord Edwin’s lady like he was doing before. He wants to make sure that he and his family have good relations with all their neighbours. Oswald thinks Valdar should stay and teach him about swords. That was my idea—the sword bit.’
‘I think you are right about the gristmill. But we both know Valdar has another life and that he will return to it once the harvest is in.’ Alwynn leant forward and kissed Merri on the forehead. ‘I will have Valdar look into this. If Oswy is going to start giving us problems, we need to know. It needs to be solved one way or the other before...before the summer ends.’
‘I wish Valdar would stay. What does he have waiting for him at home? He doesn’t have a wife. I asked him about it.’
Alwynn stood and shook her skirts. She hated that Merri echoed her innermost thoughts. But she could hardly beg him to stay. They had made an agreement. She was trying to grab hold of the precious days, but the harder she tried, the more they slipped away.
‘Right, you and I are going to see Oswald,’ she said to steer the conversation away from Valdar. The winter was going to be hard enough to get through once he was gone without her thinking about it every heartbeat. She had to live for the now. ‘I want to hear his story from his own mouth.’
‘Why not wait for Valdar?’ Merri stuck her chin in the air. ‘I promised Oswald that Valdar would come to see him. About the swords.’
‘Ah, now the truth comes out.’
Merri covered her mouth with both her hands. ‘Can you blame me? Everything is better when he is around.’
‘Since when did I hide behind a man? I want to understand what is going on at the gristmill.’
* * *
Alwynn paced the scriptorium. After returning from Oswy’s gristmill she had tried to find him, but Valdar had gone off to one of the outlying farms and she’d had no choice but to wait. Oswy’s wife had questioned her closely. It seemed a number of women felt she should marry Valdar and that he was precisely what this neighbourhood needed—a warrior who wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty repairing buildings and walls. Her attempts to explain why he had to leave after the harvest sounded feeble, so she’d made her excuses and left.
‘You appear lost in concentration.’ Valdar’s voice rolled over her. ‘Is Merri fine with your explanation? I expected you to find me when I returned from Owain’s. But when you didn’t, I presumed you and Merri needed time... And now I find you holed up in this room, writing.’
Valdar’s face was creased with concern, but relaxed slightly when he saw her. Her heart did a little jump. His being there seemed to help. He was rebuilding the estate, not destroying it. He wasn’t going to betray her.
She put the parchment roll down. ‘Merri approves, I think. She says that Gode knows about us. The whole hall probably knows. I have been such a fool to think we could keep it a secret. All the talk is about when we will marry.’
He laced his fingers between hers. ‘As long as no one has confronted you, it is only gossip.’
‘Inevitable, I suppose.’
‘Yes, because you are a beautiful widow. People will always talk whether or not anything passed between us. Without proof, though, it is just talk.’
Her being glowed. He thought her beautiful. ‘You are right. Once you depart in the autumn, then it will die down. Everything will go back to how it was.’
He made no move to take her in his arms, but simply stood stiffly at her side. ‘I hope you’re right.’
She hated how her heart sank. He spoke so casually of leaving and to her it was like a big black day looming on the horizon. Silently she vowed that she would never tell him how she dreaded the day and never try to hold him.
He had another life and, once the life debt was paid, he would go back to it.
‘You asked to see me as soon as I returned from my rounds. What is it?’ He laughed. ‘Has someone complained about my high-handedness? Small things done now will prevent larger problems come the winter.’
‘Oswy has complained about missing sacks of grain again. He thinks a gang of outlaws are operating in the area. Oswald swears it is the Northmen, the same Northmen he saw in the bay about the time I discovered
you.’
All the colour seemed to drain from Valdar’s cheeks.
‘What’s the matter?’
Valdar waved her hand away and concentrated on breathing deeply. He had to have heard wrong. There would be no Viken raiders here. There wasn’t a large monastery or town with lots of gold to attract them.
‘The Northmen? What Northmen did he see?’ His voice sounded strangled to his ears. He swallowed hard and tried again. ‘Why did you keep this tale from me?’
‘It was some tall tale that Oswald told Merri. He saw a dragon ship on the day after we found you. It had a broken mast.’
‘Did he?’ Every sinew in Valdar’s body tightened. Impossible. Girmir and his crew would be back in Raumerike now, living off the tales of their adventure. Everyone would think him dead. There was no way on this earth that Girmir remained in Northumbria. ‘Why did no one tell me?’
‘Because it was just a tale. Merri went and looked. There was no ship.’
Sweat poured down his back and he felt as if he had run a long way.
Words bubbled inside him. He wanted to explain and to order precautions to be taken, but he couldn’t get anything out. Acting rashly would accomplish nothing. Once he knew the truth, then he would know what to do. Whatever he did, he would keep Alwynn safe. Alwynn meant more to him than he thought possible. The knowledge caused his breath to stop.
‘If it was just a tale, why is it important?’ he asked carefully.
‘Oswald told Merri the ship had returned and now has a fixed mast. He says that it is about to start raiding. It is why they lost sacks of grain at the gristmill.’
‘How did he know it was the same ship?’
‘He claims it has the same dragon prow. A snarling beast of a prow. Some sort of fantastical bear combined with a serpent.’
Valdar’s heart raced. The description matched Girmir’s boat. The memory of how proud Horik had been of that carved figurehead swamped him. He had worked on the expression until he declared that it would frighten all the monsters from the sea. Horik had chosen a bear to represent his father, who had been a notorious berserker who had died in the East.
But if Oswald could describe it, it meant Girmir was here. Had he returned to unleash a storm of havoc as he’d promised?
Valdar counted the days. There would not have been enough time for him to return to Raumerike, refit a boat and make the return voyage. If Girmir was here, then he had only the same crew. Valdar’s jaw tightened. This was why the gods had saved him. They had washed him up on this shore in order to avenge Horik’s murder. It might be his only chance. Once he returned to Raumerike, Girmir would ensure his version of the tale became the accepted one.
But if he could destroy Girmir, he might be able to return to his old life. It was odd that in many ways his old life held no attraction. It did not have Alwynn in it. Valdar closed his eyes and reminded himself of the curse, of the pain of losing Kara.
‘He wants to know what we are going to do about it,’ Alwynn said. Her slender fingers tightened about an ink quill. She might make light of it, but the tale had clearly unnerved her. ‘I mean, it is far too fantastical. If Northmen were here, they would attack the church. Or maybe the hall, not a small gristmill. They’d burn everything to the ground.’
He wanted to reach out and tell her that he’d protect her from all foes. He would battle until his dying breath to keep her and hers safe. He knew he had never felt this way about anyone before and it frightened him. They could have no future.
‘When did this happen? All was at peace when I visited the gristmill yesterday. The wheel will need replacing before next spring, but it can wait.’
‘Last night, apparently. Someone broke into his grain store. Oswald swore the Northmen were driven off by the dogs’ barking.’
Valdar went completely cold. His mind raced. He had to have heard her wrong. Northmen did not raid gristmills and take sacks of grain. But hungry men could. And there were other desperate men besides men from the North. ‘It sounds like outlaws.’
‘Or merely an excuse to get you out there with your sword. Apparently Merri promised—’
‘Wait! Where did Oswald see this ship?’
‘Merri knows.’ She broke the quill and put her hand to her head. ‘I’m sorry, you are right. Just outlaws. It brought back memories from last summer. We lived in such fear. I’d hoped that St Cuthbert’s storm had finished them. For ever. They are truly the scum of the earth. Demons in human form.’
‘Because they attacked a church and stole gold.’
‘Yes, and butchered people who had done them no harm.’ Alwynn put the broken bits of the quill down with trembling hands. He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her until the only thing she knew was passion. He hated that his countrymen had caused these shadows in her eyes. ‘My second cousin died during that fight. I’d hoped that it would be the end of it. And then this. A plague on all Northmen.’
‘Even the ones who played no part?’
‘They’re all guilty.’
Valdar stared up at the ceiling. Even if he wanted to explain about his fears, he didn’t dare now. The instant she found out about his heritage, she’d turn against him and he wanted a few more weeks with her. Surely the gods could grant that?
‘I don’t see any burning houses,’ he said, quietly coming to put his arms about her. ‘All seems at peace. As you say, Oswald likes to tell tall tales.’
She rested her face against his chest for a few heartbeats. And with each heartbeat, the time seemed to be slipping from him. ‘My point precisely. If it were a raid, we’d know. There would be burning from here to Bamburgh.’
‘Oswy has done this before, remember?’
‘I know, I know.’ She moved away from him and began pacing. ‘It just feels like there is something wrong. He has no reason to fake anything now. Why did Oswald give such detail?’
‘To impress Merri? I gather he likes her.’
Alwynn gave him a sharp glance. ‘I hope for a better husband than that for Merri.’
‘We need to pay Oswy a visit. Together. I want to show Oswy that we are as one on this and that we do take it seriously. I had not bothered with him before as he had made a point of delivering the missing flour here, but that may have been a mistake.’
‘I’ve already been out. He showed me the broken lock. A thief did break in.’
‘You went without me?’
‘You were away. I had to go.’ She put her hand on her hip. ‘I can look after myself. I will have to do it once you are gone.’
Valdar watched the delicate curve of her neck. His stomach revolted at the thought of Alwynn ever meeting Girmir. The bastard would take great pleasure in torturing her, particularly if he knew Valdar cared about her.
All his muscles tensed, ready to do battle against his enemy. He had to find the men first. Before Girmir discovered that he had not drowned, before he learnt these people were important to him and burnt this place to the ground.
‘I want to see this inlet where Oswald claimed to see the ship.’
‘You won’t find anything there. Trust me.’
‘Humour me.’
Right now, Raumerike seemed like a distant prospect. He wished he could be more honest with Alwynn, but he wanted to grab the little chance of happiness he had. He could be the brave warrior she thought he was. He wanted to be that man for the rest of his life. But he also wanted her to love him—but how could she if there were secrets between them?
He caught a tendril of her silken hair and ran it through his fingers. Sighing, she leant back against him and closed her eyes. Her head was warm against his chest and she felt so right in his arms.
‘What are you expecting to find?’
‘I’ve no idea,’ he said against her hair. ‘But I will get to the bottom of the mystery. It’s my job to look after you and your estate. I will do that to the best of my ability while I am here. You don’t need to stand alone. Whatever is there, we cope. Together.’
&nbs
p; She gave a tremulous smile and pulled away from him. She smoothed her gown and straightened her hair. ‘Thank you. It has been a long time since I’ve leant on anyone. I hate the thought of clinging. I hate needing anyone.’
He watched her with a lump in his throat. He wanted this moment to last for ever.
‘Sometimes it is good to feel that someone else is there supporting you.’ He put his arm about her shoulders and pulled her against him. ‘I’m here.’
Chapter Eleven
The sheltered cove where Oswald supposedly spotted the Northman ship was peaceful and utterly devoid of humans except for Alwynn and Valdar. A few gulls skimmed the water.
As they came around the corner and the entirety of the cove was laid at their feet, Alwynn drew in her breath. She’d forgotten how beautiful it looked with the sunlight playing on the water.
If she shaded her eyes, she could make out settlements along the coast over twenty miles away. There was something commanding about the hilltop. The only sounds were the lapping water and the gulls playing on the surf.
‘A good hiding place,’ Valdar remarked once they were down on the sand. ‘The anchorage looks right and there is an advantage to being able to see if anyone is coming.’
A shiver went down Alwynn’s back. Had Northmen camped here? It was so peaceful. She didn’t want to imagine a band of murderers here.
‘You see, no one is here.’ She wrapped her arms about her middle. ‘Another of Oswald’s stories. He is a boy who wants things to be exciting and when they are not, he makes things up. He wanted to see you and ask about how you use a sword.’
She waited for Valdar to laugh with her. He was singularly quiet. She fancied that the colour had faded from his cheeks.
‘There is no ship here now,’ he said. He kicked some charred wood that she’d overlooked. ‘But someone has camped here recently and tried to cover it up.’
Alwynn bent down. The wood was completely soaked. ‘There is no telling when the fire happened. But we haven’t had much rain for days. It could have been weeks ago. Before you ever arrived. People do travel along the shore—shepherds, tinkers and the like.’
Summer of the Viking Page 16
