by Suzi Love
“London accommodates roughly one hundred and fifty thousand brothels,” Richard said, groaning at the enormity of the task ahead of them. “And we’ve checked into …how many? Not a fraction of that number. We’ll never locate Lady H. Not before the next share allotment is due for release, anyway, and if we miss that opportunity, she’ll likely buy up more than we can afford. Therefore, we may face a future with that crazy woman owning more of the new railway line than we do. I shudder to think what would happen them. What inane decisions she may make, or which government officials she may apply pressure to.”
“It seems likely that she is already applying pressure in high-up government circles. Possibly by blackmailing men holding mid-level posts in government offices.”
Richard moaned and shook his head again. “I fear in this instance, we may be defeated.” His two cousins stared at him, then displayed their confusion by glancing at each other and shrugging. “What silent communication just passed between you two?”
“We wondered why your normal cheery confidence–”
“Plus your everlasting and often exhausting zeal–”
“Not to mention your doggedness over completing every endeavor you commence. Well, we do wonder why those ingrained traits forsook you at this crucial point in our investigation. Especially,” Tony said with emphasis, “when a satisfactory completion of this situation means removing a certain young lady from danger. Ensuring her future safety allows your own consciousness to rest easier. It also, and by your displays in front of the family this is something for which you yearn, allows you to distance yourself from the aforesaid person for whom you hold responsibility–”
“Enough!” Brian scowled between his brother and his cousin. “I appreciate that I may be a little slow to evaluate the same nuances that my brother does when it concerns the female gender–”
“A little slow? Why just last evening Tessa Prendergast invited you to stroll in the conservatory with her, Brian, and you replied that it would be too risky as the damp atmosphere might make her curls go even more awry.”
“Simply trying to be helpful.”
Richard and Tony burst out laughing. Richard nudged his cousin in the arm.
“Tessa’s a known bed-hopper, Brian. That’s the customary lure she throws out to invite a new man to indulge in a fast and furious romp with her, while her husband remains occupied in the card room.” He burst into more gales of laughter. “By speaking of her unruly curls and not accepting her blatant offer, Tessa’s self-image may be so badly dented she’ll never recover her composure. I’d wager no man has ever refused her in quite such a way before.”
Brian looked at him and gestured in a vague way. “You mean…You’ve accompanied her to a conservatory.”
“Yes, although, in my case, it was the butler’s pantry during a dinner her husband hosted for his Parliamentary cronies.”
“Good Lord! During dinner? And you weren’t exposed by the serving staff?”
“I did say romps with Tessa tended to be hasty, didn’t I?”
“Mine with her took less than the time it takes to ask a lady to dance.”
Brian’s glance spun to his brother. “You too? My brother? And my younger one at that. Blather it! You two show me up as a complete slow-top when it comes to the fairer sex.” His brows met in the middle again, no doubt churning over his missed opportunity.
“Take heart, Brian. Nothing’s fair when it comes to Tessa. Positive man-eater. Don’t fret, she’ll not approach you again. Fish that got away, that sort of analogy. She’ll want to prove no man’s immune to her charms.”
‘Yes, well, cousin, if I have a man-eater after me, so do you. The Countess abhors your rejection of her, especially publicly. She’s determined to show her bon amiss she can reel you in anytime she wishes. Hook, line, and sinker.”
“May we dispense with the fishing metaphors and return to our more pressing problems, as luncheon calls. I’ve been invited to join Porch ester at White’s for a succulent slab of beef and a burgundy or two. His Lordship is one of the dozen gentleman who refused the advances, the most persistent advances, of a business man who approached them all at their weekly meeting of the Anthropological Society. This unidentified man-of-affairs claimed he represented an anonymous party, who held the rights to land a new railway would need to cross in order to extend the line approximately seven miles from Ravenglass to Dalegarth, near Boot. Several of the men, including Porchester, had already committed their next allotment of money to be speculated to you, Richard.”
Richard dipped his head in acknowledgement. “So those men said no straight away. Other declined for various other reasons. Apparently, the man then became agitated, swearing and claiming he’d be killed if he hadn’t filled his quota. They were clueless as to what this signified but, thankfully, Porchester thought to send me a message as he’d heard we were seeking just this sort of information.”
“Well done, Tony. This could be the link we’ve been missing. Some clue as to what sort of people Lady H is using and where and how they are being recruited.” Richard grinned. “I may recover my optimism today after all.” He slapped his younger cousin on the back.
Tony glanced at his pocket watch and grimaced. “Drat it. I’ve only ten minutes before I must depart to dress for White’s, and Porchester is a stickler for time. “He fixed his intense and all-too-knowing stare on Richard. “So, care to share what bothers you so deeply about your latest dalliance?”
“There’s no dalliance!” As soon as he’d snapped out the answer, Richard regretted it.
His tone, if not the sour-sounding words, conveyed his anxiety. “I’ve never done anything so despicable as dally with an unmarried and gently-bred lady.” He rolled his eyes. “Most especially when I’ve made promises to her male relations to lay down my life and protect her from rogues such as myself.” He stared at his cousins with a jaundiced eye. “And you two.”
“Not fair to include me in that description. I can hardly be classified as a scoundrel, if I failed to notice the bait Tessa dangled under my nose last evening. A rogue would have obliged her and taken advantage of her advances.”
“By that description of a rogue, I am indeed one,” Richard said with a mournful sigh.
“Ah, I see,” Tony said with a huge grin.
“Luscious Laura has also thrown herself into your arms, unable to resist your well-noted charms, and by necessity you’ve refused her no doubt tempting offers. Dreadful dilemma.”
He ignored the scowl directed his way and grinned, before continuing in a teasing tone, “Stay strong, adhere to your morals, but wallow in so much misery that you’re compelled to box for hours at a time to relieve your rapidly increasing frustration. Your other alternative is to seduce the woman you’re obsessed with. Make her your mistress.”
“Tony, cousin or not, I’ll still plant my fist in your smug face.”
Tony laughed. “Idiot! Of course you can’t make her your mistress, even if you have already seduced her–” He broke off and looked at him questioningly. Richard shook his head, aware that his expression betrayed him nonetheless.
“So, you haven’t gone so far as to seduce her. Yet. Though, knowing how you feel about her, it’s only a matter of time.”
“Is this Lady Laura we’re discussing?”
Now it was Brian who stared at him with an accusatory look. Again he nodded.
“Am I to understand that you hold feelings for Luscious Laura?”
“I may do, and please cease from using that derogatory name to describe her.”
Both Brian and Tony laughed at him. “Might we remind you that it was you who coined that particular term to describe her ample assets?”
“At the time I didn’t realize we may be attributing it to my future wife.”
“Ah, the crux of your dilemma at last. To wed, or not to wed. That is the question.”
“Now see here,” Brian said, his face reddening. “Tis not gentlemanly of any of us to discuss such a lovely lady t
his way.”
“Brian, I realize you’ve always been slightly smitten with Lady Laura, but lately I’ve also come to the understanding that my own feeling for her are somewhat more than that.”
“Never say the Escaping Earl, the one who’s adroitly avoided any talk of love and romance with all his previous lovers, has now succumbed to what we call the more feminine emotions. Never say you’re in love.”
He frowned, the word jarring somehow. “No, no, no. I’ll freely admit to being in lust. Who wouldn’t when Laura truly is magnificent? Love? Never!”
“Then the only obstacle to your future happiness that I can foresee,” Tony said, leaning back and crossing his legs an adopting an unconcerned pose, “is if the lady in question has more good sense than to want to marry you. Perhaps it is one of us she prefers, after all.”
Tony’s smug grin made Richard’s fingers itch and his fist curl into a ball. His cousin judiciously slid a few inches further away along the wooden bench, although his grin didn’t decrease. It widened.
A sharp chortle of laughter was forced from between his clenched lips as he watched his cousins’ reactions to his news. “I suppose I may as well reveal all, as you’ll both badger me about it for days otherwise.”
“Wise decision.”
“My dreams have been haunted by Laura for weeks now. But just when I’d decided to offer her marriage, stubborn and contrary Laura–”
“I find those her more endearing traits,” Brian said, smiling at his brother. “Do you recall that evening, a year or so ago, when she slipped out of her home against her father’s wishes to attend a meeting of the Council on Education?” He looked at Richard. “Think you were still on the Continent. Villages, including the ones bordering the Jamison’s estate, argued that schoolmasters needed to be paid more than a carpenter or blacksmith.”
Tony laughed. “Yes, Laura was magnificent that evening. Like Joan of Arc. She demanded that the council increase teacher’s pay, so a better class of person could be enticed into the situation. The Council members, all male of course, took offense at what they termed a slip of a girl issuing them orders, and the meeting deteriorated into a riot.”
“Good Lord! I hadn’t heard that particular story of her exploits. Though several others are enough to turn my hair gray. If we marry--after we marry, I shall have to curtail her exploits.”
Tony rose and grinning widely, slapped his cousin on the back. “I wish you good luck with that, but I fear you’ll have as much chance as Sherwyn has of taming her elder sister.”
Sitting in silence for a few moments, he reflected on the excitement he felt when becoming embroiled in arguments with Laura. Quick to concede defeat if proved wrong, she also stubbornly stuck to her principles in disputes about women’s rights, the working conditions of children, or any other Chartist ideas she adopted.
He looked up at his cousin.
“In this case, she is being so contrary that she has declared herself willing, no, not just willing but eager to become my lover.”
Brian’s brows raised. Tony whistled.
Richard stood up and fixed them both with his sternest earl of several estate’s intimidating glare. “I trust no word of this will ever pass your lips.”
Brian appeared horrified. “Certainly not. I would never break a man’s confidence that way.”
Tony looked affronted yet his eyes twinkled with mischief. “Especially when it concerns a woman that our relative thinks he may someday be able to convince to marry him.”
“Your faith in my ability to win fair maiden’s hand is truly touching,” he said, clasping his hands to his heart and allowing them to see his sarcasm.
“More to the point, we’re all privy to Laura’s mind-set about marriage. Her brothers have shared all the details about these experiments she carries out. Sniffing everyone. Done it to me several times.”
“Really?” Richard raised a brow in query. “And what conclusion has she drawn after sniffing your person and, I assume, making those copious irritating observations in her ever-ready little notebooks?”
Brian smiled. “Oh, she’s told me often enough what good friends we are–”
He took a menacing step towards Brian. “How good a friend?” When Brian shrank back onto the bench and raised his hand to protect his face, he groaned and stepped back again. “Damnation. Sorry, didn’t mean to take another bite out of your hide.”
“Understand, old man. When bitten by jealousy–”
“I’m not jealous!”
Both Brian and Tony nodded affably, though it was glaringly obvious they didn’t believe a word of his denial. Not for an instant. Hell. Perhaps his feelings were written across his face, printed for all to read like a Fleet Street newspaper. He prayed only his close acquaintances had noticed the recent disturbance to his stability.
“Nevertheless, the problem remains that Laura will not cease with her observations, until she has found the perfect match for her criteria. A mate. Ridiculous idea. Like recording an animal’s behavior, and matching it with an animal of similar temperament. I’ve tried to explain to her that it will never work.”
“You mean she tackles it the way you do when putting that stallion of yours to mares. The way you fuss for weeks beforehand. You write letters to prospective owners of mares across the country. You study the horse parentages, and cross examine every groom over the characteristics and stamina of their sires and dames. You draw intricate charts of their pedigree and trace their ancestors back for generations to ensure a perfect coupling.”
He threw up his hands and put his hand to his hips, glaring at Tony. “Fine. I concede there is some merit in her theory. And, yes, Laura uses similar classifications as those I use to breed my horses. But I tell you right here and now, I will not agree to Laura’s demands and take the confusing minx to bed merely to satisfy her curiosity. Nor so she can cross another tested name off her ridiculously long list.”
Brian laughed. “Yes, she’s mentioned on several occasions that your scent is not quite right.” He did that beetled-brow thing again and tilted his head to one side to peer at Richard. “Which seems terribly contradictory, when one considers it. Why would Laura insist on testing your bedroom prowess if she’s already decided you’re not going to be a marriage match?”
“That is what I cannot decipher. As a gentleman, I dare not trifle with her affections, nor her virtue.”
“Michael and Jonathon will draw straws to see who challenges you to a duel.”
“Oh, it won’t come to that,” Tony said, grinning. “Our brother will have already gutted him with his knife long before it comes to that.”
“So reassuring! Thank you both for your assistance.”
Tony placed a hand on his shoulder.
“If I was you, I’d take the delectable Laura to bed. Teach her all you know. Make her so eager for more, that she will forget all her notions of experimenting with other men–”
“Ooh! Thank you of also reminding me of that part of her plan. Rest assured, no other man will come within six feet of laying a hand on her.”
“I should hurry then and secure her hand for yourself, because each time she is out in society, the crowd of worshipful admirers falling at her flirtatious feet thickens. Very soon, she’ll decide an odor, a tang, attracts her correctly, according to her research and legends, even close to acceptability, and she’ll sail forth with her plan to test that as yet unknown gentleman in her bed.”
“Over my dead body.”
“Oh, I’m sure Sherwyn could arrange that.”
With those parting words, Tony and Brian walked towards the door. Richard gathered his coat and hat and followed them, but as he reached the door behind them, a messenger rushed towards him.
“My Lord. An urgent message from the lady waiting in the carriage outside. She wishes you to join her. Immediately.”
Brian and Tony also halted as he asked the messenger, “Which lady?”
He bobbed his head. “Not rightly sure. 'er husb
and’s an Earl. Big crest on side of 'er blue carriage.”
“Ah, ha! It seems your determined previous mistress has tracked you to Gentleman Jackson’s. This should prove interesting.”
He scowled at Tony’s grin. “Didn’t you have a pressing appointment at White’s?”
“Damnation, yes. Must be off. Sorry to miss the fun, though. Brian, be sure to regale me with the entire sordid tale later.”
Winchester strode out of the boxing establishment, with Brian following, mentally comparing himself to an overworked steam engine. His anger rose, hot and humid, like a blast of compressed air tunneled through a pipe. How dared the woman? If it was that conniving Countess, her ears were about to receive a blistering blasting from him such as she’d never heard before.
Reaching the carriage, definitely hers, he grasped the door handle and threw open the door, intimidating the attending footman with the ferocity of his expression. He sprung inside and threw himself onto the seat opposite her.
“What is the meaning of this? And how did you know where I would be anyway?”
Seated with her the skirts of her fashionable gown spread wide, she gave him a look designed to portray innocence.
“I needed to see you, urgently, and I knew you always boxed here three morning a week. This is one of those mornings.”
“Your intimate knowledge of my daily routine is enough to make me squirm in my seat, but any guesses I may make at why you might need to see me, in an urgent way, brings a sweat to my brow.”
She trilled a laugh, a false, forced sound that twanged his taut nerves like the string of an over-tightened harp. “Oh, no! Please, you silly man.”
She reached across, placing a gloved hand on his coat sleeve. He flinched, despite his best efforts to show her the implacable calm of a marble statue.
