‘I’ll be back soon,’ he tells me, shaking his head like he’s disappointed. I just turn away and don’t answer.
Brad
Fuck, I’m an idiot. What the fuck was I thinking kissing her like that? Her life’s complicated enough without adding more shit to the list. Feels like we’ve gone right back to the beginning, all because I overstepped. But shit she tasted good. I lick my lips, tasting the memory. Who am I kidding? I’d do it again in a heartbeat. But because she doesn’t want me to, I’m treating her like shit. I see how she looks at me. Like I’m one of them. Like a fucking kitsune with no morals or loyalty. No care for humans. We’re not like that. We have family and friends—people we care about. We live by a code, and we have laws. They have none of that. They just live for themselves, in small groups and take what they can. They don’t work for it and don’t earn it. Not like we do.
I swear most murders and rapes in the world where they haven’t caught the bastard behind it will be a kitsune. They thrive on that shit. And are evil motherfuckers. The more we take out, the better, as far as I’m concerned. And like we don’t have enough on our hands with the small amount we have living here—they’re coming from abroad to start trouble. Well, they don’t know the Stone pack very well because we always finish shit. And we always come out on top. I grin at the thought of tearing some apart and visions start to swirl in my brain as I walk towards the forest. Yes. I can’t fucking wait.
‘Brad, wait up,’ Jacob shouts behind me. I turn to find him and Dom jogging up to me. ‘You out for a run?’ I nod, not really wanting company, but it can’t really be helped, with the amount of people staying here right now.
***
I stretch out my limbs as I change back to human form. I’d ripped a muscle going a round or two with Dom. Turns out company is what I needed, and I got some pent-up shit out. Feeling a whole lot better about stuff, I head back to my room. I only slip my jeans on and hang my tee over my shoulder. I’ll only head for the shower when I get in anyway. The T.V. is on, and Maiya is sitting up watching some reality show about some pretty boys from Essex. Crock of shit. I’m about say so, but I stop dead in my tracks because as I look at her, I mean properly look at her, I see puffy red eyes and tear stains on her cheeks. Shit. I instinctively go over and sit in front of her, taking one of her hands in mine.
‘Talk to me, sweetheart?’
She shakes her head and pulls her hand back.
‘Maiya? What’s wrong?’
‘What’s right, Brad? I’m pregnant. I could have HIV or syphilis or whatever the hell else, and… I just want my life back,’ she sobs. I take her hand again. She doesn’t pull it back this time, so I squeeze it, trying to reassure her. I grab some tissues with my other hand from the side table, and she blows her nose into one before handing me it back. ‘Thanks,’ she mumbles. I drop it onto the table and grab her another. As she takes it, she smiles. ‘I’m sorry,’ she tells me. I shake my head.
‘Nothing to be sorry for. I was an asshole, and I’m sorry,’ I confess. Her eyes widen just a little at my apology. Yeah yeah. I know, not my usual style. But fuck if seeing her cry doesn’t cut me deep. I hate it. And even more when I’m responsible. ‘Listen, for what it’s worth, having as much of my blood as you’ve had lately, I highly doubt you have anything to worry about. Remember what the doc said about a superior immune system, yeah?’
She nods. ‘I’d forgotten about that, what with everything else.’ She motions to her tummy. I don’t really know what the fuck else to say on that subject, so I sit silently. I’d only make shit worse.
***
The drive to the airport is tense. We share a car with Jared, Howard, and Devon. To say Maiya is annoyed with me is an understatement. I can feel her anger rolling off her in waves. I don’t even need to look at her. The journey seems a fuck of a lot longer than the couple hours it is. And when I stretch after getting out of the car, she practically runs off. Jared growls as she takes off, and I go after her. His patience at her treatment of Devon is wearing really thin, and he is liable to snap at her anytime soon. It surprises me to realise just how much I don’t want that. I catch her up with ease and just fall into step beside her. She glares at me, and I almost feel the daggers pierce my skin.
‘I can’t believe you did that to me!’ she squeals, high pitched and choked up at the end. I’d put her in the car and child locked her door so she couldn’t get out again. Then Jared and Devon had slid into the backseat next to her. I couldn’t sit there because he was being all fucking stupid about me sitting near his female. I didn’t tell her we weren’t sharing or what the seating arrangements were going to be. I’m an asshole. What can I say? So I got daggers to the back of my head and neck the entire journey. It wasn’t fun.
‘I didn’t exactly do anything now, did I?’ I ask her, knowing damn well what I did. But she’s being unreasonable towards Devon, and it needs fixing.
‘You’re a fucking liar.’
I shake my head and chuckle. ‘Aww, princess. You wound me. I didn’t lie. I just omitted the truth.’
‘That’s the same thing.’
‘Nope. I disagree,’ I tell her, grinning.
‘You are a deceitful… um… asswipe.’
I laugh at her difficulty to call me out. ‘No, princess. I’m far from deceitful. I’ll always tell you the truth if you can handle it. If you can’t, then omitting really isn’t an issue, it’ll just happen.’
‘What the hell are you even saying? Gah, you don’t take anything seriously.’
‘I take you seriously,’ I tell her and could kick myself because I should keep my big fucking mouth shut. God, what the fuck is this female doing to me?
***
Our group practically fills three-quarters of the plane. We have to make two stops because no direct flights are available at such short notice for a huge group. I relax in my aisle seat while Maiya sits in the middle with Zoe to her right. The stewardess comes along, offering the usual confectionary and beverages. I ask the girls what they want, but I get the cold shoulder from Maiya. Surprise sur-fucking-prise. So when the very attractive stewardess asks if we are a football team, I engage in conversation.
‘American football, yes, sweetheart, we are.’ Maiya is still half turned away. Fuck it. I’ll play with her. ‘You get any time off after this flight?’ I ask the stewardess winking with a shit-eating grin on my face.
She blushes and stammers a little. ‘I’m afraid not, sir. We fly right back.’
‘Call me Brad.’ I offer her my hand. ‘Well, there is always that mile high club,’ I tell her, making her go even redder which makes me chuckle. Howard kicks the back of my chair, laughing. Fucker. Then Maiya leaps up and tries clambering past me. Now I’m not a little guy, and these seats do not afford much room, so she’s practically got her tits in my face and her pussy on my knee. I grab at her waist, stopping her struggle. ‘Hold up. I’ll get out of your way. Where you going?’ I ask. We’d only been on this leg a short while.
‘I have the sudden urge to vomit. Let me go,’ she spits pushing my hands from her hips. I wanted to play, and I wanted a reaction, but I’m not sure I like it. Noticing her attitude, the stewardess makes a break for it but only gets a few seats down before Maiya is at her back. I lean into the aisle, wanting to see what’s about to go down. The stewardess notices she’s blocked her in and tries to move quickly but is stopped again by another passenger. Maiya leans in to her ear. And speaks through clenched teeth.
‘Unless you want to add vomit to the menu on your cart, I’d move your skinny arse now.’ And I taste victory. It tastes fucking sweet. She’s jealous. One nil to Brad. I smile as I watch the poor woman get out of her way, and Maiya practically stamps her feet the whole way down to the bathroom. I only just take my eyes away from the door when Zoe punches me in the arm. Hard.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ she demands. I just grin and shrug my shoulders. ‘Are you and her—’
‘Nope,’ I cut her off because, well
, I’m not going there.
‘So what was that show about?’ She asks with her lips twisted, eyebrows raised, and her head cocked to one side. A look that I’ve seen a lot of women perfect, it means ‘you’re a lying prick and you ain’t fooling anyone.’ But I ignore it—like always. ‘What show?’ I pretend like I have no clue what she’s talking about.
‘You can be a total asshole you know that?’
I grin again. ‘Yes…yes, I do!’ She doesn’t speak to me again. And when Maiya comes back she ignores me too. So I close my eyes and go to sleep.
I LITERALLY THREW up in the bathroom, and I’m not sure if it was Brad flirting or the pregnancy making me so sick. I’m annoyed with him, upset, and I don’t know what the hell else. I don’t even know if I have a right to be annoyed. He’d only kissed me. And I had pushed him away. I’m not special, so he’s bound to flirt, hook up—do whatever he does, I guess. But it stings, and I surprise myself reacting the way I do. I contemplate all this on the walk back up the aisle. I stop as Devon’s hand comes from nowhere and clutches my wrist. I stare down to where our skin is connected. I want to pull my arm away. The need to do just that almost overtakes me, but I resist and look her in the eye for the first time in what feels like forever. Her face is filled with emotion—hurt I think.
‘Can we talk?’ she asks. ‘Please?’ Over her shoulder, Jared is glaring at me almost like he’s daring me to say no.
‘Not now, but okay,’ I tell her. When I’m ready. She smiles, and I walk away. Brad gets up for me, and I sit back in my seat. He doesn’t try to speak to me. I’m glad. I think. I’m still reeling over everything. My mind keeps going back to the fact I have a baby inside me. I never thought about kids. I guess I always assumed I’d meet someone, get married, and then have kids. I never thought I’d be pregnant at eighteen and have a double-digit number of possible none-human fathers. I choke on a lump rising in my throat and swallow hard. Zoe turns to look at me.
‘You okay?’
I nod. I don’t trust my voice. My throat is all closed up and burning with the need to cry. Zoe must see it because she takes my hand in hers and squeezes it reassuringly. Then she leans in and whispers, ‘He’s not always an asshole—give him time.’
I just smile. She has no idea. If only my life were only that complicated, and I just had to decide if I want the guy or not. In this case, I have no choice. I literally cannot live without him. I need his blood. The fact that I have all these mixed up feelings that I cannot decipher are just throwing me a loop. I want him. I’m attracted to him. Very attracted to him. But he isn’t human. And I have a baby inside me that is also not fully human. And what I have inside me is an enemy to Brad and his pack. I know he is waiting for me to decide if I want to go through with the pregnancy. And again, I just can’t seem to come to a decision. I’m so scared of keeping it and hating it for what it is—for how it was made. But I’m terrified that if I don’t go through with it, I will miss a chance at loving unconditionally and being loved unconditionally. Of being a parent. Of giving what I never had. It’s not like this kid asked to be made the way it did. It’s not its fault. I’m also terrified that Brad will hate it. That’s a fleeting thought, and it passes as quick as it came, because what man would want a woman who is pregnant with an enemy’s child. So I let that thought go. He wouldn’t want me anyway. He’s just playing with me. He’s a player, that much is clear. I’d be just another notch in his belt. And there I was, thinking he might like me. Of course he doesn’t. Damaged goods. Knocked up, damaged goods at that.
***
The plane journey is horrible. I literally feel like we are falling from the sky at one point. Turbulence, Brad tells me. The landing is just as bad. I grip my thighs so hard in an attempt to quell my shaking hands that I know for sure I’ll have bruises. That was the only words he spoke to me the whole journey. Now I’m in a kind of minibus come truck which the American pack have sent to collect us. There are several in a row. It’s like one of those long processions that you see on television when they are transporting someone important. Except these aren’t all the same. Brad is up front, with Howard beside him, then there’s Jared and Devon, me and then some other guys at the back. Brad keeps turning in his seat to look at me. I can see him in my peripheral, but I just keep my eyes on the scenery outside that’s flashing by really fast.
Devon squeezes my hand in hers, and I turn to stare at her. I’m not expecting it although she had asked to talk. I’m not sure I like her touch at all, so I pull my hand away. It wasn’t quick, like a ‘don’t touch me’ movement. It was just casually done. So she knows I’m not comfortable yet.
I see hurt flash across her face, and somewhere inside I feel a twinge of something—guilt maybe? Or sadness? I’m not sure. My emotions don’t mean shit anymore. They just fire on broken circuits and do as they please. I have no control. I try and smile a little, but even that doesn’t work. I can feel the muscles in my face trying to make a small smile, but what I think I give her is a small grimace instead. Devon gives me a tight smile, and I don’t know what to make of that either. And just then Brad turns again, and our eyes meet across the tops of the seats. I’m still all over with how I feel about him. His flirting with the woman on the plane really hurt me. I think I like his attention, and I like that he wanted me. Even after everything. So that’s obviously why I feel like I do. But I need to get over it and over him. I look away, and as soon as I do, I want to look right back. Instead, I clench my jaw and keep my eyes on the road.
WE ARRIVE AT the home of the American Alpha. I want to jump out and go to Maiya. The fact that she’s been so distant all the way here doesn’t bode well for me.
I knew she wouldn’t be comfortable near Devon, and I tried to suggest other plans, but Jared seemed determined to get the two females together. Even if it wasn’t what Maiya wanted. So that pissed me off. But we’re here on pack business, so I do my job and stand by my alpha.
A guy named Brody walks up and shakes Jared’s hand. ‘Nice to meet you, sir, heard a lot about you.’
Jared grunts, nodding his head. Making the guy stumble a little on his next words. ‘I’ve been told to show you around and get you comfortable before Max comes down to meet you.’ Max is their pack alpha.
‘Why isn’t he here now?’ Jared demands, and he quakes a little. It’s fucking comical. I’ve never been able to get over the fact that people act like this around him. I mean, sure, he is our alpha, and more now than his dad, I guess. We’d been away long enough from home for that to be official. But he’s just Jared—my best mate.
The guy almost falls over himself.
‘He has a meeting and will be along soon. He sent his apologies.’
Again, Jared grunts. I get a whiff of the guy’s fear, and I see Jared’s nostrils flare too. We do have a name for ourselves, but I don’t get why he’s so fucking scared. We’re not here for them. Howard looks at me, and I know what the look is, something’s off here. I nod and as the guy gestures for us to follow we all move into a formation surrounding Jared and the females. I see Maiya watching me as I move closer to her. I don’t know what she’s watching for, but I don’t pay it any mind. I’m on alert, and my head is in the game. No one is around, and we’re led to a big house at the end of the driveway. Several other houses lead up to it, but there isn’t a soul in sight. Fuck knows where they all are. I’m looking at each one as we pass when I see a curtain twitch. A small head pops up, and little brown eyes meet mine. A kid. I smile, and he waves, right before bigger hands pull him away from the window and correct the curtains. Strange. We get to the main house, and Howard asks where we will be staying.
‘Oh, in the big house at the back. I’ll show you around, and then you can have a rest or whatever you want?’
‘I want to get straight to fucking work, so you can go and get Max now—not fucking later,’ Jared tells him in a don’t fuck with me tone. I’d normally make light of a situation like this, but when we’re on another pack’s turf, you don
’t joke with your alpha. You treat him like he’s God. Otherwise, no other pack will take us seriously. And we didn’t get our reputation for being the funny guys.
This guy is nearly pissing his pants as he gets his phone out and dials—for Max I assume. He walks us around the house to another house around the back. There are no other houses around this one like the first. It just stands alone in the middle of what looks like a massive courtyard. Walls surround it on all sides. Brody is getting more and more nervous. He’s about five-eleven and built like a tank. He must be my age or thereabouts, but he seems shit scared. Something is definitely off here, and I don’t like it. When we arrive at the house he stands on the wooden veranda with the door open for us to enter, no one moves. Howard looks at me, and I take up his space as he, Harrison, and Jacob go in without us. I stand in front of Brody with my arms crossed.
‘How about you go in and show the guys around.’ I clench my jaw as I talk.
He jumps to it. ‘Oh. Umm y…yeah sure,’ he says as he enters after them. I hear him telling Howard which way the kitchen is when his phone rings. He answers, and I hear him tell Max that Jared doesn’t want to wait. I strain my ears, but I can’t hear the response. Jared chuckles, and I know he’s heard it too.
‘Yeah, I did… I know… sorry… yeah, it is. Jared wants to get right to work, so wants to see you now… okay… yes, sir.’ I look over at Jared and wrinkle my nose. Fucking sir? He rolls his eyes in agreement. A couple of minutes later, they all come back out.
‘House is clean,’ Howard states and Brody’s eyes widen in realisation at what was actually happening. But he doesn’t say anything.
Complicated Love Page 5
