Complicated Love

by Harper Phoenix

  ‘How long have you lived here?’ Devon asks him. He looks embarrassed.

  ‘Not too long. How did you know?’ he speaks directly to her, smiling. And Jared grumbles his disapproval but doesn’t say anything.

  ‘Your accent gives you away.’ She smiles.

  ‘Came here a couple of years ago now, with my mom and sister.’ He doesn’t sound overjoyed about it either. ‘Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to it. Max is on his way. He’s only at my house, so won’t be long,’ he says, and I hear the pitch in his voice change when he says it. I’m not the only one that does either.

  ‘With your mom and sister?’ Howard asks. Brody looks at him and nods his head, swallowing hard. ‘Your father?’

  He shakes his head.

  ‘He’s dead. Max is just her boyfriend.’ Howard nods his head in acceptance with no further questions. We enter the house, and it’s pretty decent. Nothing to write home about but nice all the same. I make my way around the ground floor, pretty standard: kitchen, dining room and then a formal room and a door to a cellar, or basement, as they say here. I head back to the kitchen to wait to see what Jared wants us to do.

  ‘Ladies. I want you out of the way for this one,’ I hear him announce as I walk in. Devon, of course, begins to argue. I look over to Maiya and catch her hands shaking. It’s time she had her fix. I know she’s pissed at me and no doubt won’t ask, so I take charge of it and tell Jared I’ll walk the women upstairs and out of the way. Devon is still fucking arguing. But a glare from Jared and she realises he isn’t budging on this. We’ve all had the feeling something is off, and he wants them out of the way. I understood that completely. I’d need to be quick.

  ‘Zoe, where’s your medical bag?’

  She taps the strap of her backpack, and we head up the stairs. There are lots of bedrooms, some bigger than others, but I don’t have time to choose, so I stick my head in through the second door and walk in. There’s only one bed and a chair, and I wasn’t sleeping on that fucking thing so we’d have to sort another room out later. Maybe Zoe could bunk with her or something? I don’t know. Devon and Zoe come in after Maiya and me, and Zoe starts to unzip her backpack while Maiya, now extremely shaky, sits on the bed. I take my hoodie off and sit in the chair while Zoe straps a tourniquet around my arm. I pump my fist, and she sticks the needle in, and I watch as the burgundy looking fluid fills up to the brim. When we started out doing this, she was really careful and always used cotton wool and tape after, now she just leaves me to do it myself. Devon sticks a plaster to my arm as I turn to look for Zoe’s bag. I smile, but she isn’t looking at me. Her eyes are on Maiya and the blissful look she’s now got on her face. The complete opposite to only moments ago. I watch as she gulps back an obvious lump in her throat. Her friend looks like your typical junkie. I feel all kinds of sicko watching her bliss out as a part of me enters her body. I can’t help but fucking like it. I feel the need to touch her for a minute. She’s always really happy and blissful right after she injects. I hold her hand a minute and tell her I’ll be back when we’ve sorted out business. Her eyes focus on mine, and she smiles. Fuck, yeah, I did that. I smile back and move to leave. Devon starts to follow, but I stop her in the hall.

  ‘Jared wants you to stay here.’

  ‘I’m not trying to go with you. I just wanted to ask, if you know…’ she gestures towards the door with her head. ‘if she’ll be up for talking? I don’t wanna mess it up with bad timing.’

  ‘I think now is the best time. You have a small window where she’ll be totally blissed out, so make it count. Give her something to think about.’

  Her eyes widen, and she looks worried.

  ‘Devon, it’s fucking obvious you care, to everyone but her. She just doesn’t see things like we do right now—but she will.’

  ‘Wow, Brad. You’ve changed lately, you know that?’

  ‘Nah, I’m still the same fine ass black guy I was when I woke up this morning.’

  She smacks me on the arm.

  ‘Seriously, Brad. I’m glad she has you.’

  I don’t know what to say to that because it’s like she can see right through me, so I just nod my head and leave her at the door.

  JUST WHEN I’M on cloud nine and happy as a pig in mud, lying back on the bed, star-fished, I hear the door go, and someone walks in. I assume Brad has forgotten something and lift my head to ask what it is. But the words catch in my throat, and my eyes widen as Devon stands with her back to the closed door, a look of determination on her face. Great. I sigh and drop my head back onto the pillow and wait for her to speak. When she doesn’t, I lift my head again, and this time, fear is what I see flicker across her face.

  ‘If you would rather I come back another time, I can?’ she says, but I know she doesn’t want to leave. She wants to leave about as much as I want her here. Not at all. I sigh again and sit up.

  ‘If I said never would you listen?’

  She takes a deep breath and flattens her lips before she shakes her head no.

  ‘Didn’t think so.’

  ‘I just want… well, I guess I just want to be here for you. I want us to be friends again, Maiya.’

  ‘Is it for you or for me?’

  ‘What? What do you mean?’

  I roll my eyes and shake my head. ‘Are you here because you feel guilty and want to ease your conscience?’

  That stops her next words like a train crash. Her eyes fill with tears. ‘Maiya I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Yeah… listen. I’m all out of fucks. You should go.’

  ‘Maiya, please… I need you to hear me out.’

  I don’t want to hear it. Maybe I’m not ready. Maybe I never will be. But right now, I want this blissful buzz I have going on in my body to last, and I do not want to see her face or hear her apologies. So I get up and head into the bathroom. When I close the door, I press my ear to the wood and listen. When I hear the bedroom door close behind her, I sag in relief. Then the door opens, and Zoe is standing there, all stony-faced.

  ‘That was a shitty thing to do you know that? I like you, Maiya, but right now I feel like kicking your arse. Why the hell do you want to treat her so badly?’

  I wave my hand in a ‘please stop’ motion but she doesn’t. I walk past her and lie back on the bed.

  ‘Hey, you listen to me!’

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. ‘Fine, I’m listening.’

  ‘Good because Devon is one of the nicest women you will ever meet and she cares a lot about you, surely you must see that?’

  ‘What do you want me to say, Zoe? That she’s forgiven? She’s not. That I like her? I don’t. What do you want from me?’

  ‘You know what, I don’t want anything. All you’re doing is pissing me off. I’ll see you tomorrow,’ she says and slams the door behind her. And then I’m alone, and that feeling I was so eager to cling to has gone. For a minute, I wish I could inject his blood on the hour every hour. And then I feel sick. I’m just the same as a drug addict. They say they need it to function normally—well I’m no different. And I treat people badly too. I feel a pang of guilt, and I think about going in search of Devon, but it wears off quickly when I poke my head around the bedroom door and see an empty corridor with absolutely no clue of where she went. Do I want to be friends again with her? Yes. But can I get past this pain, this hurt I feel? Can I get past the fact that I’m going to have a baby because I was repeatedly raped because of her? No. I’m not ready. My hand goes to my stomach, and maybe I’m imagining it, but I feel a small twinge—like it’s telling me ‘I’m here.’ I lie on the bed and subconsciously stroke where the small pain had been.

  I FIND EVERYONE in the kitchen. Harrison is rooting through the fridge, complaining that there’s nothing in it, when Max walks in. He has his right-hand man with him and Brody on his left. I move to Jared’s left, and Howard moves to his right while everyone else hovers around us. Max isn’t old, but he’s way older than anyone in this room. Probably easily double my age. He’s g
reying in the sides of his dark hair, and his beard is more grey than black. In all that though, he still looks a fearsome motherfucker, and would probably be quite a handy guy in a fight. He’s built, like most wolves, but he’s about a head shorter than me. So when he curls his lip and asks what the fuck was so important that he had to rush over, I fold my arms and tilt my head to take in the cheeky shit. But Jared doesn’t miss a beat.

  ‘I didn’t fly half my fucking pack here to get comfy in your guesthouse. I want this done and fucking dusted so I can take my pack and my female home, you feel me?’

  Max doesn’t reply, just nods to his guy who puts a folder on the table to my right. I open it and see pictures and information that we requested before we left home. Good. There are traffic camera stills of car registrations and pics at fuel pumps, over the period of time we asked for. I pull a map from the same folder. Good. They’ve given me everything I’d asked for so far.

  ‘I want pins and a blank wall or corkboard—whatever you have. I need my equipment setting up in the same place, and I need those plug adaptor thingy’s because all my shit has three prongs.’

  Brody looks at me for a minute and then answers. ‘I have a pretty decent set-up if you want to use that?’ I look at Jared who gives me an ‘okay, if you want’ look. I don’t really. It’s better with my own kit, but I guess by the time I’ve downloaded all the software for here I could be well on with my work.

  ‘Okay, I’ll have a look, but if it’s shit, I’ll be setting up my own,’ I tell him. He nods enthusiastically.

  ‘Yeah, sure.’

  Jared sits at the table and takes the pictures from the folder and spreads them out, growling when he see’s the she-bitch, Devon’s mother.

  ‘When was she last seen?’ he asks Max,

  ‘This morning. We have eyes on her. As soon as you called, we searched and found her regularly visiting the store there and the gas station. She drives the black SUV.’ He points to the different pictures.

  ‘This is good intel. You do all this?’ I ask Brody, who grins.

  ‘Yeah, like I said, I have a pretty decent setup. Are you ready to go?’

  I shake my head. Not until Jared gives the order. I watch as he sifts through the stuff and looks over to Max,

  ‘Have you seen all this?’ Max shakes his head no.

  ‘I left Brody to do it. If it isn’t up to standard you can take it up with him,’ he says almost dismissively. I feel Jared tense and watch as Brody’s grin turns into a thin flat line of disappointment.

  ‘You’re the fucking alpha. If it’s not up to par, it’ll be you I take it up with.’

  Max stiffens at Jared’s hard tone, but Jared doesn’t bat a fucking eyelid. We may be on this guy’s turf, but there is no question who is the stronger alpha. None. Max stands no fucking chance. And Jared doesn’t like his attitude, that much is obvious. ‘Did your father not teach you manners, Max?’ Jared asks folding his arms over his chest. Max puffs his chest out.

  ‘How dare you speak to me like you aren’t some prissy little kid half my age? I could have spit ten of you out of the end of my cock—show me some fucking respect.’

  Jared goes toe to toe with him and curls his lip.

  ‘Respect is earned motherfucker and you ain’t done shit to earn mine. Someone comes on my pack land, and I’m sure as shit there to meet them. And if another pack requires my fucking help, I’m sure as shit gonna oversee it— not blame someone else if it’s not fucking good enough?’

  I see the minute he submits. He tries like all hell not to show it, but he may as well lie down, belly up because every other fucker in the room sees it too. He grins and slaps Jared on the shoulder in a playful way like a friend would. Jared’s wall of muscle doesn’t move a fucking millimetre, and he doesn’t smile, making Max quake for a second more.

  ‘Just fooling with you, my friend.’

  Not fucking funny, idiot.

  ‘Well, I’ve got funny and sexy all covered,’ I tell him, hoping to bring the atmosphere down a peg. It does a bit, and he laughs, offering to take a select few across to Brody’s home for the security set up. Jared gives the nod, and I follow Brody, with Howard at my side. We walk back around the big house and down two houses before Brody stops. He looks apprehensive.

  ‘Everything okay?’ I ask.

  He plasters that smile back on his face and nods as he opens the door. We walk into an open plan living room and kitchen. It’s nice. Behind the counter is a woman who I assume is his mother. She has her back to us but turns when she hears us. I hear Howard growl before I can really take in what’s wrong. She’s tidying away broken crockery, and one eye is so swollen, it’s closed. Her lip is split, and she has a cut on her forehead. It’s recent too because she hasn’t healed yet. Howard moves to the woman and turns her face as she tries to move away. Then he moves up on Brody so fast I don’t see it coming. He has him by the front of his shirt and slides him up the wall with ease. Brody’s hands come out to ward him off, but the woman starts to scream at Howard to let her son go. It all happens so fast.

  ‘You beat on your mother?’ Howard growls out.

  ‘No, no, never. It’s not me. I swear I wouldn’t.’ During the mother’s screams and Brody’s pleading, another young woman walks in, and she gets right in Howard’s face.

  ‘Put my brother down right now, or I will cut your motherfucking balls off,’ she tells him. I can’t help him. I’m bent over, holding my stomach. It’s hurting so bad from the laughter, which I’m trying to keep locked down. This brave bitch has a knife to Howard’s meat and veg, and all he can do is gawk. He’s so fucking shocked. He even lets go. Brody slides down the wall to his feet, and the first thing he does is subdue his sister’s knife hand.

  ‘Jesus, Willow. What the fuck?’

  She releases the knife and moves away. I look at her then—she also has a black eye and is walking like she’s in pain. Jesus.

  ‘Who is taking their temper out on you?’ I ask, and watch as all three sets of eyes roll downward to the floor.

  ‘Car accident,’ the older woman says.

  ‘Right,’ Howard answers, ‘Head on collision with an oncoming fist?’

  ‘None of your business anyway,’ she says again. Howard mumbles something I don’t quite catch, and Brody uses the lull in conversation to walk us through the back of the kitchen and to his room. Howard is like a fucking raging bull though and won’t let go.

  ‘Who the fuck is beating on those women?’

  Again Brody’s head goes down. ‘It’s not me, okay?’

  ‘Gathered that when your sister had to come to your rescue,’ Howard snarls. ‘What kinda man lets that happen in his house, huh?’ Howard has seen red, and there is nothing I can fucking do about it. I try and get myself between them, but it’s no good.

  ‘Do you think I stand by and let that happen? What do you take me for?’

  ‘A fucking coward,’ Howard growls back. Shit.

  ‘Howard, how about you give him some room so he can answer your questions?’

  Brody breathes a sigh of relief when Howard steps out of his face and backs up a step more. His hands go to his knees, and he breathes deeply before he speaks again.

  ‘Look, I’ve intervened before, and it only makes things worse.’

  ‘Worse than seeing your mamma and sister all busted up? Worse for who? You?’

  ‘Please, can you just forget you’ve seen any of this?’

  Howard moves before I can stop him and his fist crunches into Brody’s jaw, knocking him sideways. He slides down the wall at a funny angle and lands on his front. He’s out. Fuck me.

  ‘Jeez, Howard. You really know how to make friends,’ I tell him as I sit the guy up, making sure he hasn’t swallowed his own tongue.

  ‘Fuck you—he’s a prick.’

  ‘You’re being all fucking judgy as usual, and you know zero fucking facts.’

  ‘Black eyes and broken bones. Fact.’

  ‘Is it a fact that poor Brody here did
that?’ He cracks his neck. ‘No,’ I answer for him. ‘Is it a fact he’s probably swallowed his front teeth. Yup, I’m guessing we can count on that as fact,’ I say, opening his mouth to find two broken teeth. ‘You need to get your dick wet my friend, then maybe you’ll lighten up.’ I slap Brody around the face, and he comes to. His eyes dilate, and he springs up and whacks me right on the chin.

  Motherfucker! ‘What the fuck was that for? I know I’m pretty but no need to be jealous!’ I tell him with a grin. He barely hurt me. I like the kid—he has something about him, so I let it slide. He’s got his back to the wall and his fists up, ready to take us on. I turn away and sit at his desk, giving Howard a look. He turns away from Brody and perches on the desk. Then just as I think the shit has passed. He opens his fucking mouth again.

  ‘You and me ain’t done,’ he tells him. For Christ sake. I look at him and give him the stink eye.

  ‘You wanna wait out front? I’m good in here?’ Howard huffs at me but takes his leave, so now I can get down to business. Brody gets me logged in, and I’m up and running—in my element. He’s a little wet behind the ears, but he’s not got a bad system. I could definitely teach him a thing or two, but he’s off to a good start. I’m scanning through page after page of data.

  ‘I have tried to stop it, you know,’ he starts to say, and I believe him. No one wants to see their family go through that. Then I hear him take in a breath, and I know he’s crying. I fucking know it, and I don’t want to turn around. I grit my teeth and scrunch my eyes tight. Don’t do it. Don’t fucking turn around. ‘He nearly killed her because I stopped him, and they made me watch.’

  ‘Who?’ Howard chimes in from the door.

  ‘Shit,’ Brody mumbles. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘I’ve got what I need,’ I announce. ‘But I’ll be back, okay?’ I turn and walk to the door, which Howard is currently filling with his sullen ass. ‘Let’s go.’ We walk back to the house. Brody is rubbing at his jaw and keeps fiddling with his teeth.

  ‘Never lost a tooth before huh?’ He shakes his head. ‘Adds to the appeal. Chicks love a hard ass,’ I tell him, winking.