Complicated Love

by Harper Phoenix

  ‘I watched you eat a bullet!’ She just grins. She sends fucking chills down my spine. Devon has a gun trained on her, and stepping beside me, Maiya also takes aim. Jared gets stitched up, and we can finally take a minute.

  ‘Where the fuck is your pack?’ Howard yells at Brody. But he is busted up just as bad as the rest of us and so is his sister. They fought just as hard. Brody falls to his arse and brings his knees up like he’s exhausted.

  ‘Fuck if I know?’ he answers. Howard marches over like it’s his fault. His sister is having none of it though, and just like the first time they met she goes toe-to-toe with him, a knife at his balls. It’s a fucking picture.

  ‘Willow, stop it for fuck sake,’ Brody tells her on a sigh. She steps back, and Howard visibly relaxes. We start a fire and all the fuckers left in the courtyard go on it. It fucking stinks, but it’s the quickest and most effective way of body disposal.

  ***

  The fact that the American pack are nowhere to be seen is laying heavy on me. I don’t yet understand it, but what Brody had said about Max is front and centre in my mind. With clean up sorted and guard duty given orders, I take Maiya upstairs to clean up. When we get through the door, she leaps at me, wrapping her arms around me, and kissing the fuck out of me. I can barely get us into the bathroom. I kiss her back, pushing her up against the wall, giving me better control.

  I open the shower door without breaking the kiss and walk us in. It’s small, but it’s big enough. Turning the water on to hot, I devour her mouth, and she starts to remove her wet clothes. I do the same, but our lips don’t part until she struggles with her jeans. They may as well be painted on, they’re so fucking tight, add water to the mix, and it’s a fucking pain in the ass.

  Now fully naked, my dick is at attention. He doesn’t give a flying fuck that we’re covered in blood and brain matter. He wants in. I lift her in my arms, holding onto her ass, and I push her up against the tiles. I move my hand between us, and I find that little hotspot I’ve been seeking. I slip a finger inside gently so she isn’t shocked. Nearly being killed and seeing my girl out on a battlefield does something to me. I’m desperate to be inside her. Maiya doesn’t seem opposed to the idea, so I’m going in. I line myself up, and as soon as the head is encased in her wet warm pussy, I feel relief. Everything that just went down should have sent her screaming to the hills, but I’ve never seen anyone so determined to shoot and kill. She was amazing. Her head goes back as I enter her fully. She moans low, and it sends a shiver of excitement through me.

  ‘This isn’t going to be slow. You okay with that?’ She doesn’t speak, just nods and looks at me through lidded eyes, a small smile on her face. Fucking beautiful. And mine.

  ‘Fuck, sweetheart. I’m not gonna last.’ I’m thrusting in and out like I’m in a race and on the last hundred-meter sprint.

  ‘Feels so good,’ she moans against my neck, and then I feel her clench around my dick, and that’s it. As she screams out her orgasm, I go over with her, thrusting only a few more times. I feel exhausted, but we needed this. And honestly, I could fuck her all day long, tired or not. I let her slide down my body and watch as she runs her hands over her hair. Her eyes are closed against the water, and she looks gorgeous. I step forward and put my hands where hers are.

  ‘Let me do that for you,’ I tell her, making her smile. I take her hair and run some shampoo through it, and get my fingers into her scalp. She moans a little, and it makes me chuckle.

  AFTER A REALLY relaxing shower with Brad, he wraps me up in a towel, and we lie on the bed. I’m just getting relaxed and settled when there’s a knock on the door. Brad pulls the duvet from under me and covers me up before he answers the door. It’s Howard. He looks grim and like he’s been hit by a truck. Brad is on edge straight away.

  ‘We need you downstairs,’ is all Howard says.

  Brad nods. ‘I’ll be right down, gimme a minute.’

  Howard just grunts and walks away.

  ‘What is it?’ I ask him.

  ‘It will either be Max or the kitsunes will need questioning. Nothing for you to worry about.’

  ‘Okay,’ I tell him, smiling. I don’t want to come across like a desperate woman, but I honestly just wanted to stay in here and forget what happened. I killed people today. That should affect me. It should, but it isn’t at all. I still feel numb to it all. I just know I wanted to get everyone out of there alive.

  Devon. I need to speak to her. I shouldn’t leave this any longer.

  I knock on her door. My hair’s still wet, but I’m dressed and look half decent.

  Devon opens the door, and her eyes widen a little. ‘Hi, you want to come in?’

  I smile—an awkward smile because I’m uncomfortable with the situation. She sweeps her arm across the open space welcoming me inside. I go right over to the chair, and she sits on the bed, watching me like I might blow up.

  ‘I just wanted to say I’m sorry,’ I blurt. She looks at me blankly for a second—then she smiles that awkward smile. We clearly both feel just as awkward as the other.

  ‘I’m so sorry you were brought into this, Maiya. You’re right. It was all my fault—’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault, Devon. It’s taken me a long time to realise it, but it’s not your fault. You didn’t do it to me—they did. Just like they did to you.’

  Tears fill her eyes, and I feel so guilty. ‘I know it will take time, but we were good friends, right?’

  She smiles, and before I know what she’s doing, she comes over and gives me a hug to rival a bear.

  ‘Yes! Maiya, I’m so relieved. I thought you were never going to speak to me again.’

  Tears start to spill over, and that’s all I need because I fill up and I get that feeling in my throat where you can’t speak around the lump there. So, we sit together and just cry, holding onto each other for dear life.

  ‘So, you and Brad, huh?’ Devon asks playfully. I must go beet red because my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. But I smile—grin actually—because he makes me feel amazing. I nod.

  ‘I knew it would happen. I could see it a mile away—with Brad anyway.’ She smiles.

  ‘He’s great,’ I tell her, embarrassed.

  ‘He really is, and so are you. You make a great couple.’

  ‘Thanks. I’m just not sure if that’s what he wants yet. I mean, we’ve not discussed anything so…’

  ‘I’m sure you will though… do you feel like eating? I’m starved, and I’m sure we can whip something up in the kitchen?’

  ‘Sure, is everyone else okay?’ I ask with genuine concern. Who’d have thought I’d grow to like these people?

  ‘Yeah, everyone is good. Jared has had stitches and needs to rest for a day or so, but aside from being generally beaten up, everyone seems good.’

  ‘You saved their lives, you know,’ I tell her truthfully.

  ‘Well, if that’s the case, you did too.’ She hugs me again. We make our way down to the kitchen and find the men gathered around in there.

  ‘Harrison is chomping at the bit and wants to discharge himself,’ Jared says as we walk in.

  ‘How much longer does he need to stay?’ someone asks.

  ‘He doesn’t really. He’s fit, but still needs to rest, and the fucker won’t rest if we’re knee deep in shit. So I’ve told him he has to stay for now.’

  ‘Shame ‘cause we could fucking use him downstairs,’ someone else says. I look at Brad and realise he’s been looking at me the whole time. I smile, biting my bottom lip, and he grins. He pulls his chair back and comes to me, placing his hands on my hips. I look into his eyes, and it doesn’t matter that the room is full of people I don’t know. For that moment, it’s just him and me. He kisses me. Only a small kiss, but the fact he is doing it for all to see, makes me think that we do have a chance at being a couple. Maybe that is what he wants. He pulls away, and I ask if he would like food. Everyone speaks as one, the whole table answering, ‘Fuck yes!’

  ‘So, looks
like we’re ordering take out!’ Devon says, smiling.

  The meal is nice. I’ve never eaten with them all before. Jared is still very prickly towards me, but Brad has me sitting in his lap the whole time, so I feel much more comfortable than I would otherwise. I don’t know what Devon and I interrupted when we came in, but they don’t discuss anything while we’re there. Devon asks multiple questions about how today came about. They thought they had them all, so they let their guard down. Something that won’t happen again, they assure her.

  ‘What about my mother?’ Devon asks. ‘And how is she even alive?’

  When they had stormed the place, Brad had said it was too easy, and that she gave up quickly. He was uneasy about it, but as the days ticked by, he became more relaxed. I guess so had everyone.

  ‘We going to question her tonight?’ Brad asks Jared.

  ‘Nah, but we will finish the others tonight. They’re no longer of any use. She can wait overnight and suffer until we’re fresh and not feeling the effects of today.’ Howard and Jared share a look and Howard gets up from the table and goes through the basement door. No doubt to finish the others off. A small voice in my head tells me that this should bother me, but I can’t find a single fuck to give. I’m glad they are going to die. All of them. And I’m glad that I got to take some of them out too.

  We sit in the kitchen until late into the night, and I listen as they all talk like life-long friends. They’re a family. And it shows. The fact they have a member in the hospital is also playing on them, but he is under constant guard.

  No one has seen any of the American Pack, and at the mention of Max, both Brad and Jared stiffen. Jared’s face turns up, annoyed, and he looks to Brody.

  ‘Any word on that fucker?’ Brody shakes his head pursing his lips in a flat line. Howard excuses himself at that point, telling Jared he needs air. Brody squares up to him at the door like he isn’t going to let him pass.

  ‘She’s fucking seventeen,’ he growls. Everyone stops talking as the two men square up.

  ‘That’s a legal age in our country,’ someone says, laughing. Brody isn’t happy and the way Howard is standing, neither is he. I’m not really sure what’s going down or why but no one seems worried. So I relax a little.

  ‘Brody,’ Jared warns. ‘Step back and let him go.’

  Brody is clenching his jaw and glaring at Howard like he could kill, but he steps to the side and lets him pass. Howard follows him with his eyes, and his face is murderous. I remember the first time I saw him in the pub, I thought he was attractive in a moody sort of way. Now, I don’t see any of that—just a sulky face. He rarely smiles and is always on edge.

  HOWARD LEAVING IS the catalyst for everyone getting up and going to bed. Even though today has been all kinds of fucked up—Maiya and I weren’t. We’ve crossed that line. And I didn’t need to tell anyone here because it was obvious the minute she entered the room. I’d marked her as mine. Sure, Jared’s eyes shot my way in a ‘what the fuck?’ look. But the fact remained, I’d marked her. Nothing anyone could say or do now. I’d claimed her as mine. No one in the pack can dispute the fact she’s human and knows too much. Because she’s mine.

  I lead Maiya by the hand up to the bedroom. Jared wants me to go over security with those on guard duty, and I have to make sure all my portable cameras are set up. Everywhere. Brody is monitoring from his place for the night. He has all our numbers on speed dial. Howard was over there too by the sounds of it.

  We get in bed, and I pull Maiya over so her head is resting on my chest. Her sigh of contentment makes me smile. I didn’t realise just how much I wanted her until she gave herself over to me. I’m not an idiot, I know this isn’t the end of all her problems, but it’s a huge step in the right direction, and I’ll be fucked if I let her face her demons alone again.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ I ask her.

  She looks up at me with a small smile on her lips. ‘After today?’

  I nod.

  ‘Is it really bad if I say I feel great? After everything that’s happened today?’

  I chuckle, and it comes out more like a dirty laugh.

  ‘No, beautiful. It doesn’t. I know what you mean.’ I have to admit, thinking about her, out there, shooting a gun like a pro, turns me on. But at the time I wanted to get her the fuck out of there, and I was filled with panic and adrenaline. ‘Where’d you learn to shoot?’

  She shrugs her shoulders,

  ‘I played video games, that’s all, I’ve never fired a real gun until today. The first shot I took nearly had me on my ass—the kickback was a shock.’

  ‘Seriously? You learned to shoot like that playing games?’

  She giggles, nodding.

  ‘Yep. It’s true.’

  ‘Well, fuck me. You’d never know. You’re an awesome shot, sweetheart.’

  ‘Thanks,’ she says sleepily. It’s been a long ass day.

  ‘Goodnight, sweets.’ I think she must already have dropped off because her breathing has changed. I hold on tight to her and close my own eyes.

  I wake up to Maiya thrashing around and mumbling in her sleep. Fuck. I shake her a little, but she doesn’t wake. Her arms and legs are being thrown out in every fucking direction, and she’s fighting against the covers. I get on the other side of the bed, and I whip her up into my arms and walk her into the bathroom. I won’t watch while she’s reliving her torture. It worked before, so I step us both in the shower and turn the water on. I keep it warm instead of cold like last time, hoping the water alone will wake her. Her eyes open, and for a few seconds, she’s disoriented and scared.

  ‘Hey…hey, it’s okay… you’re okay, sweets.’ I see recognition flash in her eyes, and she pushes against my chest to let her down. I do, and I watch her break again. I’m not sure what she needs or wants from me right now, so I just crouch there while she sobs her heart out. Fuck, if it doesn’t break my heart. I move to give her a reassuring hug, but she brushes my touch off like it’s painful for her. It hurts a little. I hate it, but she’s hurting, and that’s what I need to keep in mind. It’s not personal—it’s the memory of her nightmare. I don’t leave though.

  ‘What can I do?’ I ask. ‘Just tell me what you need?’

  She sucks in a huge breath and shakes herself. Like she’s had enough and is telling herself to stop it.

  ‘I’m sorry, Brad… I just… it feels so real you know?’ I reach out to her, and she takes my hand. Thank fuck. ‘I just… I don’t know. I’m a mess… will it ever stop? The nightmares?’

  We dry off and sit on the bed.

  ‘Anything you want to talk about, no matter how bad, we can talk about it, okay?’

  Inside I’m screaming, ‘don’t tell me, don’t tell me.’ It’s going to tear me up hearing the details. But if that’s what she needs to move on in the healing process then that’s what I’ll give her.

  ‘I would have kept the baby even though… you know,’ she says shrugging her shoulders. ‘But I guess we wouldn’t be where we are now if I’d still been pregnant.’

  ‘What makes you say that?’

  She’s wrong. I wanted her anyway, and I think she’s forgotten that.

  ‘Because who wants to be with someone carrying someone else’s kid?’

  ‘I didn’t care that you were pregnant,’ I tell her honestly.

  ‘But it would have been kitsune, Brad.’

  ‘Half! And that didn’t matter either.’

  She looks at me with a small frown. ‘The pack wouldn’t have allowed you to be with me.’

  ‘Sweetheart, you are really misjudging my pack and me. We care. We have feelings just like anyone else. And I’m telling you now, if that baby had come into this world, it would have been treated like one of us, just like you are.’

  That brings tears to her eyes. Fuck. ‘Maiya, I’m sorry.’

  She shakes her head. ‘Don’t be. It’s just… I really thought about what it would be like to have someone rely on me, you know? To love unconditionally.’<
br />
  ‘I do, and I’m sure that one day we can try again.’

  ‘Try again?’

  Fuck! Am I being insensitive here? Shit. I hate all this stuff. I always say the wrong shit. Better to make jokes and fool around. I nod. ‘When you’re ready, you know, in time? If that’s what you want?’

  ‘Honestly, I wasn’t sure what you wanted from this… us.’ She shrugs again.

  ‘Okay, well let me clear that up for you. When a wolf finds his life mate, he marks her. That mark is his bonding scent. It stays for life. So any other male knows that you’re my bonded mate. It often happens before we even realise it.’

  ‘So yours could come along one day?’

  I laugh because she’s not following. ‘You’re it, sweetheart.’

  ‘I am? But you said marking and bonding and whatever—’

  ‘Maiya, you’re my mate. You’re it for me—for life.’

  Her eyes widen, and she bites her bottom lip in a small smile. ‘Really?’ She’s grinning now.

  ‘I swear. You’re it for me.’

  ‘Well then, you’re it for me, too.’ She smiles, and it lights up her whole face.

  ‘Well, thank fuck for that because if I weren’t, there would be a string of dead men if you ever dated.’ I joke, but I’m fucking serious. It was hard enough before I bonded with her. I can’t even think about that shit now. Nope.

  ‘You want to try and sleep some more?’ I ask her because she looks tired. It’s been a long day and will no doubt be another long day tomorrow.

  ‘Yeah okay.’ We get into bed, and she scoots right across and lies with her back to me so I can cuddle her from behind. Spooning. Of course, my head goes straight into the gutter, and my little head gets all excited. Motherfucker. So, I grit my teeth and close my eyes, waiting for her to fall back asleep so I can move. I stick my arse out a little so I have more room. Jesus.

  ***