‘Hey, are you managing on the new dosage better?’ she asks me. We have increased to morning and night injections of Brad’s blood, which we are now doing between us now without having to bother Zoe. She just does weekly tests on me—blood pressure and all that stuff.
‘Yeah, I seem fine now we’ve upped it again. I don’t get so much pain from my leg because it doesn’t get chance to wear off,’ I tell her.
‘Well, that’s good. I knew it would take some time to figure out exactly what works but I’m glad we’re there. It could still change over time though. You could end up needing more.’
‘Do you think so? That’s not going to be possible eventually, surely?’
‘We’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it,’ she tells me as if to say well ‘don’t worry’. But now it’s out there, I am worried. Brad can’t be giving me blood continually. This is already a strain. What if I need more and more over time?
‘We need to cross that bridge now, Zoe. Could it end up that his blood isn’t enough?’
Her shoulders go up, shrugging. ‘I don’t know, Maiya. We’ve never had to deal with this kind of thing before, ever.’
‘But how much blood can a person give every day?’ I ask.
Again, her shoulders shrug.
‘I honestly don’t know,’ she says shaking her head.
‘Well, we can’t wait until it’s too late. We need to see what other options we have now. Maybe another donor? It could eventually be far too much for Brad? Could it weaken him?’
‘Taking his blood every day? Yeah, I would think it could.’
‘Well, then we need to do something now before it gets to that point, or he will have to stop donating. I won’t put him at risk.’
‘And he won’t let you not take his blood,’ Devon pipes up. ‘You know he won’t.’
I sigh. She’s right. I may as well speak to a brick wall then ask Brad to stop. I know he’d give his life for mine. I know because I would do the same for him.
That night, when we go to bed, I know I have to approach it. I don’t know what his reaction will be, but I have to get this off my chest.
‘Brad, how about we look at getting another donor?’
‘Huh? Donor for what?’
‘Blood,’ I tell him, knowing that as soon as he penny drops, he’s going to lose his shit.
‘Why the fuck would we do that?’ he asks annoyed.
‘Brad, I know you must have discussed this with Zoe before. You can’t keep giving blood like you are. It’s going to be detrimental to you.’
‘Better than the alternative, Maiya’ he says, clearly annoyed. He sits up and looks at me—well, glares at me is more of an accurate description.
‘All I’m saying is that maybe we should look into another donor?’
‘No, you are having mine, and that’s fucking it.’
‘Brad! Stop being such a stubborn asshole.’
‘Me? I’m the stubborn one? Sure, princess—because you aren’t stubborn at all, huh?’
I hate it when he calls me princess. He only uses it when he’s pissed at me.
‘Don’t call me PRINCESS,’ I yell.
‘Don’t fucking act like one then,’ he says, throwing the covers back and going to the bathroom, I sigh and throw my head back onto the pillow as I watch his sculpted back and arse walk away. Shit. He doesn’t come out for a long while, so I get up and go to him. Knocking on the door, I don’t get an answer. I kind of expected that.
‘Brad,’ I say through the door. ‘Please hear me out.’ When I get no answer again, I open the door and find him sitting on the toilet with the lid down. He’s sulking and has his arms folded like a kid across his chest. ‘Brad?’ He looks at me. He’s still pissed.
‘You haven’t got a fucking argument, Maiya. There isn’t one, so you may as well fucking stop now.’
‘No, Brad. We can look for someone else? I could even use both? We’ve got to try. I can’t live without it, and you can’t keep losing so much blood.’
‘It’s hardly a fucking lot,’ he mutters
‘No. You’re right, but how long has it taken for me to need more? How long before I need a pint every time? How long are we willing to let this go Brad, before it gets too much for you?’
‘Maiya,’ he stands now like he needs to make his point that much more. ‘Do you honestly think I can sit by and let some other guys blood run in your veins? Do you know what that would do to me?’
Oh… ‘I hadn’t thought about it like that. We can look at women then?’
‘No.’
‘What other option do we have?’
His eyes close and his jaw clenches. ‘There is one, but I don’t know how it will work. I don’t even know if it’s possible anymore.’
‘What? What is it?’
He looks like he’s in pain when he says it. ‘I could change you.’ He looks me right in the eye.
‘I don’t understand? Change me?’
‘You’d be the same as me, as all of us, but there’s a chance it won’t work, so I need to speak to some of the older pack members and the doctors. We’d have to assess all the problems that could arise. It’s not just straight forward.’
I’m shocked. I didn’t even realise this could be an option. Did I want that to be an option? It doesn’t take me long to think about it. If it means I’m no longer dependent on the blood he gives me each day, and instead, share a life that Brad loves, of course I’ll take that option.
‘Umm okay… so how do we go about that?’
‘If we decide that we want you to go through with it we need permission from the alpha.’
‘Jared?’
‘Yes and no. Jared’s the alpha here, but his dad’s still the alpha of the pack. Jared does make his own decisions though, with regards to us as a pack, since all the shit with Devon and Kristen. And his dad will be stepping down soon. That’s all in motion, anyway.’
‘So, we just need the go ahead from him, and we can do it?’
‘Babe, don’t get ahead of yourself. I won’t do it if it’s going to risk your life. We need to be a hundred percent.’
‘Brad, nothing is a hundred percent, ever.’
‘Well, this has to be, or it’s a no-go,’ he says with a tone that suggests this conversation is over. Gah, he can be so frustrating. I don’t argue. What’s the point?
‘Okay,’ I tell him as he wraps his arms around me.
‘Sweetheart. I don’t want to argue with you over this, okay?’
I nod because it’s the last thing I want too. He hugs me close, and I run my hands over the braids in his hair. I love him so much the thought of my life taking away from his, hurts me.
I FIND ZOE in the kitchen, and after last night’s conversation with Maiya, I’m pissed at her. I know she’s said something to make her take up the argument.
‘Keep your fucking opinions to yourself in future,’ I snap as she is just about to pop a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.
‘Well, fuck you too, Brad. What the hell have I done?’
‘Maiya, having bright fucking ideas of using another donor ring any bells?’
‘Shit, Brad. I didn’t mean anything by that. She picked it up from an off-the-cuff remark. I told her it wasn’t something we need to worry about right now.’
‘Yeah, well you try to tell her that now. She’s like a fucking horse, chomping at the bit.’
‘It is true though, Brad and it will happen sooner rather than later.’
‘I know that. It’s been on my mind from the beginning. But that doesn’t mean I wanted her worrying about this shit. You shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘Brad, what do you want me to do? Not speak to her? Because I like to think we’re friends, and friends talk, Brad, especially females, and I’m not going to lie to her.’
Fucking hell. I’m being a dick. ‘Sorry, I didn’t sleep well—what with all that happened with Brody’s mother and then her bringing that up last night. I’m in a pissy mood.’
‘Morning.’ I smile. I love that just woken up look—she wears it so fucking well. As she rubs her eyes, I sit on the bed and sip my coffee, just taking in the view.
‘How are you feeling today?’ I ask her. She tossed and turned a lot last night. I don’t think it was her nightmares, but she had a fitful sleep for sure. I have to be in the surveillance room in less than thirty minutes, but I place our coffee and toast on the side table, and I crawl on the bed beside her. On top of the covers, so I don’t get any ideas—that would make me late. She yawns and eyes up the coffee.
‘I’m okay. Tired, how about you?’ she says looking concerned.
‘I’m good—could do with a few more hours sleep, but I need to be in the surveillance room in half an hour.’
She grumbles like it’s the worst plan since the dawn of time and I have to laugh. ‘Gotta keep our eyes open after yesterday. We can’t take risks.’
‘I know—does it mean we can’t go anywhere at all?’
‘No, just means we have to go in a group—never alone. We don’t know if that fucker might do something before the date he’s given us. And if I were him, I’d be planning shit when we’re least expecting it. So, gotta be on the ball.’
‘You think he has what it takes to take on a pack like this?’
‘No, I don’t—not many packs could, but that doesn’t mean we won’t lose people if they try, and we want to avoid that at all costs, nobody’s life is worth being stupid.’
‘God, Brad. We were just settling down after all that in Phoenix. I was hoping to come back and have some semblance of a normal life, you know?’
I laugh at her remark. ‘What’s a normal life though, sweetheart?’
‘I don’t even know anymore.’ She laughs with me. ‘I guess we make our own normal?’
‘I like the sound of that,’ I tell her honestly.
I’m in the surveillance room, later that day, when Jared comes in.
‘I’ve been thinking about you all going back home for Christmas, and I’m not going to let that snivelling little fucker stop everyone’s plans. What I’ll do is request people head up here to us who don’t have families to spend their time with on Christmas day. You okay going down Christmas Eve and heading back Boxing Day?’
I nod as I switch between cameras. He’s caught me in the middle of a sweep. ‘I know it’s not much time with your family, but I’d rather have you all stay here if I’m fucking honest. I don’t like separating.’
‘Yeah, I understand. I get it, but if we can go just for the day, that’s better than nothing. My mum and dad will be made up.’
He nods his head. ‘Yeah, they will be. You should definitely go.’ He claps his hand on my shoulder as if he’s about to leave.
‘Jared, can I ask you something else?’
‘Shoot. What’s up?’
‘You might wanna sit for this one.’
‘Fucking hell, what?’ He says, sitting on the only other chair in the room.
‘Nothing to worry about. It’s just something that needs thinking about.’
‘Okaaay, what the fuck is it?’
‘Maiya—’
He breathes out on a huff before cutting me off.
‘What about her?’
The way he says it pisses me off a bit, but I let it go. ‘I want permission to change her if it’s safe.’
‘Fuck, Brad. I don’t know a wolf alive who’s seen that happen.’
‘I do.’
‘Who?’ he asks like I’m talking bullshit. But I’m not. My grandparents were kids when people were brought into the pack. I’m not sure how they were changed or how it went, but I know it happened because the numbers were low. And although they aren’t around now, they have friends that still are around—some of them could even be those people that were changed.
‘My grandparents were teens when a whole group were brought in because pack numbers were low and mates were needed. They told me stories about it—’
‘They’re not here though, Brad.’
‘No, but they have friends still alive back home. Jared, all I want is permission to do it if we can. The blood situation is getting worse, and I don’t know how long she’ll be able to go on with that alone. Either I’ll be hooked up to a transfusion machine permanently to keep her alive, or she’ll die without it. I can’t deal with that, and I won’t let her die. So, it’s something we need to think about soon.’
‘Okay, I feel ya. After Christmas is over, we’ll look into it. Do me a favour though, and don’t tell Devon. She’ll have a fucking fit over that shit.’
‘Not a problem. I won’t.’ I laugh. I don’t want to get between those two.
‘Everything okay out there?’ he asks motioning to the screens with multiple cameras.
‘Yeah, everything is good at the minute. I’m on the fucking edge though. A bastard squirrel caught me off guard earlier, and I nearly hit the fucking ceiling. I hate this waiting shit. I would rather deal with the problem head on.’
‘Preaching to the fucking choir, my friend.’ He claps my shoulder and leaves. That makes me feel a bit better. I hoped he’d be on board. Now I know he has my back with it, I can hopefully sleep tonight.
By the time Brody comes in for his shift, I’m fucking starving. I wonder where Maiya is when I get to the kitchen—she normally pops in to see me when I’m on shift. Logan and Imogen are cooking up a storm,
‘Either of you seen Maiya?’ I ask grabbing ham from the fridge.
‘She was with Devon and Zoe earlier, but I haven’t seen her since, think they were watching movies or something,’ Imogen answers. I stuff the ham straight in my mouth, forgoing bread so I can find her quickly. I find her curled up on the sofa in the TV room. She looks adorable. One of the girls must have covered her up, and left her here, asleep. I debate whether I should just climb on the sofa beside her, but instead, I gather her in my arms and carry her to our room. She stirs as I lift her but snuggles into me, her face against my neck as I ascend the stairs as carefully as I can. Today has been quiet in regards to any trouble, and I’m hoping it stays that way. I just want to get this girl home to meet my parents.
I get her to bed, and my stomach starts fucking growling—like seriously fucking loud. I curse quietly because it wakes her up. I try and move away from her quickly, so she doesn’t wake properly—she needs her rest. But as I try to pull away she clasps her hand around mine.
‘Where are you going?’ she asks sleepily.
‘I’m just gonna jump in the shower, sweetheart. I’ll wake you when dinner is ready, okay?’
‘Mmhmm,’ she mumbles, and I think she’ll be asleep again in no time. I get in the shower. I ache from sitting in that chair, looking at the screens all day. I get under the spray and let it massage the back of my neck—it feels good. I feel the cold air before I realise the door is open, and I feel Maiya step in behind me. Still can’t get used to the fact that she’s mine. I turn and smile at her. She doesn’t speak. Instead, turns me back around so I’m facing away from her, palms flat against the wall. She takes the shower head in her hand and runs it along my neck and shoulders. Close up, it feels even fucking better than it did on the wall. I groan as her other hand kneads at the knots in my muscles there. My head lolls forward, and I press my forehead against the cold tiles.
‘You enjoy that?’ she asks, her breath fanning the curve of my ear. Don’t fucking ask me why but the whole fucking thing with the shower has turned me on so fucking much. I turn and take her mouth with mine. Her hands come up around my neck. I hear the showerhead clunk against the wall, and we are sprayed from all directions as it sways and spins from the power of the water. Maiya squeals and giggles against my mouth. The spray is r
ight between our legs now, and it gives me an idea. Showers like this can be very good for stimulation—maybe this could be fun. I turn her so she has her back to my chest. I move the shower spray slowly up her leg, so she knows where it’s going. I feel her tense against me.
‘Relax, beautiful. I’ve got you.’ As the spray lands on her thigh, I change the setting on the head so it’s now a single jet. My arms are around her waist, and I push her thighs apart with my other hand. I lick down the wet skin on her neck, and as I nibble at the juncture between her neck, and shoulder, she moans a little. I bring the jet of water to her clit, slowly circling it. She gasps at the initial feel of it and then she throws her head back against me. ‘Let go’ I tell her. I want her to relax and enjoy it. I push a finger inside her while circling the jet of water. Her face is close to my ear, so I hear every moan and hitch of her breath, and if it’s possible to make me harder, it does. I’m tucked against her, just above the crease of her ass. I watch her face as her mouth makes that perfect ‘O’. So fucking gorgeous. I curl my fingers inside, and I watch the moment her climax hits. Fucking beautiful. I get her through it, and just as she’s coming down, I remove my fingers, pushing them into her mouth. Then I take her lips with mine and gather that taste on my tongue. ‘Best fucking taste in the world.’ I tell her, with our foreheads pressed together. Her smile and the little shake of her head makes me smile. God, I feel so fucking lucky right now.
I lift her by the ass, and she climbs up my body like she’s done it a million times before. As I line myself up with her pussy, she kisses me like she’s desperate. I go with it, trying to remember in the back of my mind that she needs to keep control, but before I know it, I have her pressed up against the glass, and I’m thrusting inside her hard and fast. Fuck me.
‘I’m gonna come, babe, I’m sorry,’ I tell her. I grip her arse harder which allows me to go that little bit deeper. Our moans are drowned out by the water hitting the tiles. I let her down slowly, realising I may have just fucked up massively. I took complete control. I search her face for any sign she’s upset. I can’t see any. ‘You okay?’ I ask her tentatively. Her smile answers my question, and I’m fucking elated—another small step, but it feels fucking huge.
Complicated Love Page 21
