by Kaylee Ryan
I place the computer and the bag on the table, expecting her to come to me; instead, she stops beside Easton and holds her arms up for him. He doesn’t even hesitate to pick her up and place her on his hip. I watch as she rests her head on his shoulder and he rubs her back.
“You hungry, princess?” he asks.
“Did you eat all the cookies?” she asks.
“I would never,” he says as if she offended him. “How about I whip us up some dinner while Mommy finishes her schoolwork. You any good at making spaghetti?”
“The bestest,” she tells him. “But look,” she turns to me, “we builded it at the Build-A-Bear.” She holds out a big brown bear for me to see. “I gots to pick out her clothes too.”
“That’s all in this bag.” Easton shows her the bag sitting on the table.
“That’s great, P. Did you have a good time?” It’s a stupid question by the smile tilting her lips. I can feel some of the earlier tension sliding away watching the two of them. An outsider looking in would never be able to tell that she’s not his daughter. The love they have for one another is palpable.
“I did. But East said no cookie until after dinner.” She pouts.
“You actually said no?” I manage to ask over the lump in my throat.
“Not really. More like suggested them for dessert and she agreed.” He places P back on her feet. “Why don’t you go put your bear in the living room? We don’t want her to get dirty or worse, burnt while we’re cooking.”
“Okay.” She skips off to the living room.
“Larissa,” he says. I look up from where I’ve been staring at my lap. “You’re my girls.” He says it so simply, as if those three words don’t make my heart feel as though it could jump out of my chest. “I want to take care of you. I can do it, so please let me. I loved my time with her today, seeing her face light up. I love knowing that buying you this computer is going to make your life easier. Let me do that.”
A tear falls down my cheek. “T-thank you, Easton.”
“My pleasure, baby.” He kisses my forehead. “Now, I’m going to go make us dinner, with Princess Paisley as my assistant, while you set up your new laptop and finish whatever it is you need to do.”
“Ready,” Paisley says, bouncing into the room and grabbing his hand.
“Let’s do this.” He scoops her up in his arms and skips with her into the kitchen.
I take a minute to catch my breath, to get my emotions under control before opening the box and pulling out the laptop. It’s nicer than any I’ve ever owned. Easton Monroe has changed my life. He supports me. He’s there for me and for my daughter. I’m madly in love with him, and I just about blurted it out. I don’t want to tell him I love him after he drops a chunk of cash on me and my daughter. I want it to be the right moment. Plus, there’s a little bit of me that worries that it’s too soon. That although I know he cares about me, he might not be where I am. I’ll be keeping it to myself a little longer, just to be on the safe side.
I leave today for a five-day stint on the road. While it’s my job as a professional baseball player, it’s the norm and what I do, this time I really don’t want to go. Over the last couple of months since Larissa and Paisley have become permanent fixtures in my life, I’ve thought this before every road trip. This one though is different. It’s killing me to know I’m not going to be here this week.
It’s her birthday.
My princess turns five on Saturday, and I won’t be here.
When you have a job like mine, you accept there are things you’re going to miss. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays… heck, some of the guys miss their kids being born. I knew this going into it, and with my parents and my sister, it sucked I missed those occasions with my family, but it never really reached me, the feeling that I was actually missing out, deep in my gut. Not like it is today.
I don’t want to go.
I want to be here.
Larissa offered to hold off on Paisley’s party, which is a few of her friends from the T-ball team coming over for games, as well as cake and ice cream. I told her not to do that. It’s not fair to Paisley or Larissa. She already has it planned and the weekend off work.
I hate I can’t be here, and have yet to break it to Paisley. I don’t know how she’s going to take the news, but I’m on my way to their place now to tell her. I’m also going to give her all the gifts that I bought her. I might have gone a little over the top because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to be with her on her special day. Larissa is going to kill me when she sees exactly how over the top I’ve gone.
Pulling into the driveway, I climb out of my truck and grab the big box, and the two gift bags. I’ll have to come back out to get the present that’s in the back of the truck. Actually, I think I’ll just let her unwrap it in the back.
“East!” Paisley throws open the front door and her eyes grow wide. “What are those?”
“Are you supposed to be answering the door on your own?” I ask her.
“No, she’s not,” Larissa says, catching up to her at the door.
“Princess, you know that’s dangerous.”
“I know, but I seed you in the window and I missed you so, so much.” She bats her long eyelashes at me, and I want to fold, I do, but her safety is important.
Placing the bags and the box on the swing, I bend down to her level. “I understand that, and I missed you too. Do you know how much my heart would hurt if something happened to you? Do you know how much your mommy and I would miss you?”
Her eyes well up with tears. “I’m sorry.” Her bottom lip quivers.
“Come here.” I pull her into my arms and hug her tightly. “I’m not mad at you, Paisley, but I would be if something happened to you. Mommy and I would both be really sad if you were hurt or taken from us.”
She nods and sniffs. “Are those for me?” she asks.
I bite my lip to keep from laughing. I know she’s four, well almost five and doesn’t understand the dangers, but I hope she will think twice before opening the door again without an adult with her. “They are,” I tell her.
“Mommy, do you see dat?” She points to the swing.
“I do,” Larissa says. “Why don’t you go inside and we can bring them in.”
“Okay, but hurry,” she says, dashing off into the house.
“Really, Easton?” Larissa asks.
“What?” I play dumb.
“You’re spoiling her.”
“I know.” I grin.
“What happens when she begins to expect this and I can’t make it happen? I’m a single mom on one income.”
“You also have a very rich boyfriend who loves to spoil both of you.” I lean in for a kiss, but she turns her head giving me her cheek.
“It’s too much. You just took her shopping and got her shoes and a bear, that she absolutely loves by the way.”
“Good. I hope to do more of that. For both of you.” I snake my arm around her waist and bring her into my embrace. “Look, I’m bummed I’m not going to be here on Saturday. I wanted to make up for it. I have to break the news to her that I can’t be here and that’s killing me. Besides, she’s my princess,” I say, kissing her neck.
“Fine,” she grumbles. “But we need to talk about how you spoil her. You need to dial it down a bit, mister.”
With one hand behind my back, I cross my fingers. “We do,” I agree, not meaning it. Nothing she says will keep me from giving them the world, or at least stop me from trying to give it to them.
“Paisley,” I yell, and she rushes to the door. Her nose is pushed up against the screen, and the smile on her face is infectious. “I was wondering if you know of anyone who’s having a birthday soon?”
“Me, oh me.” She jumps up and down.
“Come here.” She wastes no time pushing open the screen door and barreling into me. “I need to tell you something.”
“Okay,” she says.
I take a seat on the steps, and she climbs into my lap. �
�I leave tomorrow for a whole week. Do you know what that means?”
“You have to play baseball. Are you sure that’s work?” she asks.
I throw my head back and laugh. “Yeah, princess, it’s work. They pay me to play.”
“That’s what I want to do when I grow up.”
“You can be anything you want,” I say, kissing the top of her head. “That also means I won’t be able to be here on Saturday to celebrate your birthday.” Her lip quivers and I rush to say more. “But I thought today we could pretend it was your birthday and that makes it super special because it’s just the three of us, which means I get you both all to myself. It’s like my present.”
“But I miss you,” she whispers.
“I know, sweet girl. I’ll miss you too. Sometimes adults have to do things they don’t want to. If I could stay home with you and your mom, I would, but this is my job and I have to go.”
“Don’t worry, East.” She places her tiny hands on each of my cheeks. “Mommy can cord the game and I can see you. I’ll still love you if you miss my party.”
I kiss her nose and hug her tightly. “I love you, Paisley Gray. You are a special little girl.”
She nods. “That’s what Mommy says too.”
I look up at Larissa, and she’s shaking with silent laughter as unshed tears glimmer in her eyes. “Right, so I have some gifts for the birthday girl.”
She wiggles in my lap, barely able to contain her excitement. “Can I open them?”
“You sure can. But you have to open the box first,” I tell her, helping her off my lap. She rushes to the swing and tears into the box. Her shriek rings out causing me to wince. The neighbors are probably wondering what the hell is going on over here.
“East! I love her so, so much, and she looks just like me.”
“She does. Do you want to know what her name is?” I ask. She nods. “Her name is Maisley.” I wink.
“Just like the story!” She cheers and drags the box from the swing over to me. “Can you help me?”
“I can, but before we get her out, why don’t you open the rest of your presents?” She rushes back to the swing and tears into the bags. Between the two bags, there are eight outfits, four for her and four for her American Girl doll so they can match. I went a little crazy.
“Mommy, look!” She holds up each outfit. “Me and Maisley can match.
“I see. Can you tell Easton, thank you?”
She drops the clothes on the porch and rushes to me. Her arms wrap around my neck and she squeezes with what I imagine is all her might. “Thank you so, so much, East. You’re my bestest friend.”
“You’re welcome, princess. I have one more for you. You ready for it?”
“I don’t see any more,” she says, looking around.
“That’s because it’s still in my truck. Come here.” I hoist her up in my arms and hold my hand out for Larissa. When we get to the back of my truck, Paisley’s eyes grow wide.
“What is it?” she whispers.
“I don’t know. You’re going to have to unwrap it and find out.” Pulling down the tailgate, I lift her into the back of the truck and tell her to have at it. I pull Larissa into me and wrap my arms around her.
“You went overboard,” she says, resting her head and her hands on my chest.
“Nah, just wanted it to be special for her.”
“A doll’s house!” Paisley shrieks. “I wanted one so, so bad, oh thank you.” She jumps up and down, causing the truck to shake.
“Careful, P,” Larissa calls out. “How did you know?” she asks me.
“I didn’t. I just remember seeing her room, and that she didn’t have one. When I went to the store and asked for a good gift for a five-year-old girl, the clerk was helpful saying she always wanted a doll’s house when she was that age, but they were too expensive. I had her show them to me, and once I saw it, I knew it was perfect.”
“Thank you, Easton.”
“Anything for my girls.” I kiss her temple.
“All right, P, let’s get your doll and clothes in the house.” She turns to me. “You need help with this?”
“Nope, I got it. I’ll be right in.” After we get everything packed inside and the paper thrown away, Larissa and I curl up on the couch while Paisley plays with her doll’s house in the corner of the living room. She insisted we leave it there. She was too excited to wait to make a spot for it in her room. It was the perfect day with my girls. One I hope we can repeat as often as possible.
It took me over an hour to convince Easton that I could drive to the stadium on my own. He wanted Paisley and me to ride with him. However, keeping my five-year-old daughter occupied for that length of time is a challenge at best. He eventually relented, as long as I promised to call him as soon as we got here. Which is what has me reaching for my phone as soon as we’re parked.
“You here?” he answers.
“Yeah, we just pulled in.”
“Okay, are you in the players’ lot with the pass I gave you?”
“We are.”
“Perfect, go to the side door. There will be a security guard there. I’m on my way to get you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Baby, I’m on my way,” he says, ending the call.
“Was that East, Mommy?” Paisley asks.
“Sure was. He’s going to meet us at the door.”
Paisley cheers and unbuckles her booster seat. After gathering my purse, which holds a few toys for Miss P, and making sure I have my cell and my keys, I lock up my car and we head to the door. East is there waiting on us.
“There’re my girls,” he says, giving me a quick kiss, then lifting Paisley in his arms and kissing her on the cheek as well.
“You found us,” Paisley says happily.
“Of course I did. You ready to watch me play?”
“Yes, and my other friends too. Did you tell them I was here?” she asks, speaking of the other players we’ve met.
“I didn’t, but I will.” She nods like she’s happy with that answer. “I have your tickets,” he tells me. “You’re going to be sitting with Carol. She’s Mark’s wife. He’s our pitcher. She’s super nice and prefers to sit in the stands where the action is.”
“Thank you. I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
“I’ll walk you to where you need to be. Then I need to get back.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. “You look good with my number on your back.”
I blush. “East, it’s fine. You don’t want to deal with the fans. I can manage to find our seats on my own.” I ignore his comment—not much we can do about it in a crowded stadium.
“You sure?” he asks, sliding his hand around the back of my neck and pulling me in for a kiss, causing Paisley, who is still in his arms, to giggle.
“Good luck today.” I kiss him one more time. This time just a quick peck on the lips.
“Good luck,” Paisley says, kissing his cheek.
“My girls are here; it’s going to be a good game.” He sets P back on her feet and guides us into the building. “This is where we part ways. Call me if you need anything.”
“Oh, you mean while you’re out on the field doing your job?” I ask him. “We’re fine, East. Don’t worry about us. Just go and have a good game. We’ll be here when it’s over.”
“I love that,” he says softly. “I love that the two of you are here and will be when the game is over.”
“That’s because we love you, silly,” Paisley chimes in.
“I love you too, princess.” He’s said those very words to her before, but every time it causes my heart to tip over in my chest. I know he means it. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He truly loves my daughter. Then again, maybe that’s just me. Maybe more of my heart is wrapped up in him.
We find our seats easily enough, and as soon as we sit, the blonde in the chair next to Paisley turns in her seat. “You must be Larissa.” She holds out her hand. “I’m Carol. It’s nice to meet you.”
/>
“Yes, you as well.”
“I’m Paisley.” My daughter holds out her hand, and Carol laughs.
“I’ve heard all about you, Paisley. It’s nice to meet you too.”
“You know me?”
“Easton couldn’t stop talking about you,” she tells her.
“Oh, yeah, he loves me.” She says it so nonchalantly you have to smile.
“You ready for the game?” Carol asks her.
“Yep. My East is gonna win,” Paisley tells her.
“Sorry,” I tell Carol. “She’s quite taken with him.”
“Is she the only one?” Carol smiles coyly. “Sorry, I’m overstepping, but I’ve known him for a while now, and he’s quite smitten.”
“He’s not the only one,” I admit, just as we’re instructed to rise for the national anthem. Once the players are announced and the first pitch is thrown, Paisley bounces in her seat, cheering for Easton and the Blaze.
At the beginning of the seventh innings, my daughter turns to me with a serious expression on her face. “Mommy, can East be my daddy?”
I freeze at her question, not knowing how to answer her. Carol catches my eyes and gives me a warm smile, letting me know she heard her. “Sweetheart, it’s not that simple.”
“But he loves us, and that’s what daddies do. They love you and your mommy.”
My sweet girl. “That’s true, but those kinds of things take time. Your biological daddy is in heaven, so that makes things not so easy.”
“Sure it is. I’m gonna ask him.”
I don’t know what else to say, so I leave it alone. It’s not until the bottom of the ninth, when East is standing just outside the dugout where we have a clear view, that I realize leaving it alone wasn’t the best way to handle it. Not when Paisley stands up in her chair and screams his name. He turns to face us, a smile spread wide across his face. I’ll give him credit, it doesn’t falter when she screams, “Will you be my daddy?”
The crowd around us falls to a hush while my daughter stands on her chair, hands on her hips, waiting for his answer. He blows her a kiss because he’s up to bat. I expect her to freak out, but she doesn’t. She sits back down and looks over at me. “Told you he loved us,” she says, then goes back to watching the game.
