by Anne Bone
A car was heard drawing up in front of the house, and Fred raced out to greet the visitor. He ushered a man into the kitchen and introduced him to Doris, who had followed Fred’s instruction and made a special effort to put on a cleaner dress. He then seemed to make a big thing of introducing this stranger to Beth. The boys were given a cursory wave as a means of introduction.
The man was introduced to them as Roger, just Roger, nothing else. He was rather smartly dressed, in so far as he was wearing a suit which underneath showed a clean white shirt and paisley tie. He was aged about fifty, Beth judged, was well built and had a sort of red ruddy complexion and balding head. It was his thick lips which seemed to hold a sneering grin that she found herself disliking the most.
Fred stood almost to attention when he was speaking to him, and ushered him towards a seat at the kitchen table. Fred actually spoke warmly to Beth, asking instead of ordering that she dish up the food before it spoilt. During the supper Beth could not help feeling Roger’s eyes boring into her across the table. He was gushing in his praise for her culinary skills, saying it was the best mutton stew he had ever tasted. His accent was not local, and she wondered again where her father had found this rather unusual guest.
After supper her brothers were told to get on out and go for a walk. They gazed at their father in some amazement although, used to following his orders without question, did as they were bid. This left Beth and her parents to entertain Roger, and she again felt his eyes on her as she moved about the kitchen clearing up the supper things.
The conversation did not flow between Fred and Roger, it was stilted and uncomfortable. Fred seemed almost as though he was tense and unsure, so unlike him that it just added to the mystery of what was going on.
After about an hour, Roger said he would have to go and, ignoring Doris completely, he took hold of Beth’s hand and held it warmly while thanking her again for such a lovely meal. Beth felt uncomfortable, his hand was sweaty and clammy. Being closer to the man did not help, as she noticed that he was even more unattractive than she first realised, his horrible slobbery lips only just covered his large protruding teeth. His cheeks and jowls were sort of hanging over his mouth, making him seem all out of proportion.
As soon as he left the kitchen accompanied by Fred, who escorted him out to his car, she felt herself shudder. She immediately went to the sink to wash his sweat off of her hands. What a horrible man she thought, thank goodness he’s away.
Unknown to Beth her father was entering into an arrangement with this man which was, even by Fred’s standards, about as low as anyone could get. So instead of seeing the back of him, Beth found that over the next few days Roger kept appearing at Cairn View. Even more disturbing, he only seemed to have eyes for her and his presence made her flesh creep.
It was not long before it became clear to Beth why this man was visiting Cairn View. It was on Friday morning that Fred announced that he and Doris were going shopping into Inverurie and Roger might just call in and, if he did so, she was to be especially nice to him or else she would be letting her family down yet again. With these words left hanging in the air her parents left.
Beth thought that her parents’ behaviour was rather odd, but then she was used to them behaving strangely. However, there was something more to this and she could not fathom it. Doris seemed to be smirking about something. Anyway, there was one thing for sure, she was not relishing having to entertain Roger on her own. She did not have to wait long before she heard his car drawing up outside the house. Luckily, she had just fed and settled Stevie who was now fast asleep in his little carry cot in the corner of the kitchen.
Roger wore a heavy overcoat which he removed on entering the kitchen. Beth offered him a cup of tea which he accepted, parking himself down on one of the kitchen chairs. There was something about the way he watched her which made her feel uneasy. It was almost as though he was leering at her. When she plonked the mug of tea in front of him, he hardly took his eyes off her. He gestured for her to sit down, which she did, opposite him as opposed to beside him which is where he indicated to her that she should sit.
‘Now, by gum, here we are, so we are.’ He cleared his throat. She wondered whether he was feeling a bit uncomfortable about this too. ‘So, Beth, I hear from your father that you have been a very naughty girl.’ He seemed to have a gleam in his eyes when he said the word naughty.
Beth was confused; oh hell what had her father been telling him. Roger had not expected an answer to his rhetorical question. So he continued. ‘Yes your father has told me that you have been very naughty, putting yourself about a bit, getting pregnant.’ He dabbed his forehead with his handkerchief as he seemed to be perspiring ‘He’s asked me to sort of take you under my wing, if you know what I mean’.
Beth did not know what he meant, but whatever it was she felt her body go cold with fear. As he said these last words he rose from his seat and made his way around the table to stand beside her. Before she could move he took her hand.
‘Now come on young lady. Your father has said that you would show me your bedroom.’
‘I would rather not came her quiet reply,’ her heart was beating rapidly Oh shit she was feeling scared.
‘I think your father told you did he not to be nice to me.’ she had no option other than nodding her head. ‘So madam that’s just what you are going to do. Or else, I think your father may be considering that you perhaps go and live some other place and that would be shame would it not. Especially as I don’t think he meant your baby would be going with you.’
Hearing this sent a terrible sense of foreboding rushing through Beth’s veins. Oh God what did he mean. What had her father agreed for her to do. She was in a sort of daze as Roger pushed her up the stairs into her small bedroom.
There was only one consolation Beth thought afterwards while she scrubbed herself in the bathroom. It was over quickly. Roger was probably in a state of sexual arousal the moment he had entered Cairn View, by the time he had actually entered her, he was ready to ejaculate. The speed of the act was only a very small consolation, as Beth still felt dirty and sick. She was not sure who she felt the most sick about, the fact she had just had sex with this disgusting man or that it seemed her parents had set her up with him.
She was very quiet and withdrawn when her parents returned. Fred was acting strangely. ‘And did Roger call in?’ he asked, trying to sound as though it was of no consequence if he had done.
‘Yes,’ came the answer.
‘And were you nice to him?’
Beth looked at her father. What she saw was a rather anxious man who was wringing his hands. She nodded, tears forming in her eyes. She grabbed Stevie from his pram and ran upstairs with him. Sitting on her bed, she hoped that his beauty and innocence in the room would eradicate the sight of that revolting man bearing down on her.
Whatever the arrangement Fred had entered into with Roger had been, Beth was sure that money was at the root of it. Roger visited several more times in the following three weeks. It was always the same routine, Doris and Fred would vacate the house on some errand and Roger would arrive shortly afterwards.
Every time Beth heard his car pull up and his slimy face enter the kitchen she felt sick. She felt trapped, totally trapped. She felt she had no option other than going along with it. The threat of being sent somewhere and Stevie not accompanying her hung in the air. She knew her parents were capable of anything, and to her mind she had no other choice other than to comply with Roger’s and, it seemed, her father’s wishes.
She would always remember the utter relief she felt when Roger announced to her as he was fastening his fly that this was the last time he would be visiting her. He was moving on, he had finished his work commitments in the area and returning to England where he lived. Just before he left her bedroom he put his hand into the inside of his jacket and produced two ten pound notes which he placed on top of her chest of drawers.
‘Now, my dear, that is for you, only you mind. Yo
ur father has been well paid for your services. And I like you, my dear, and I have enjoyed our little meetings. So that’s a little extra, but it’s for you not for your father.’
After he left Beth glared at the money on her chest of drawers. Dirty money, that’s what it was. She felt like tearing it into little bits or throwing in onto the fire in the range. She grabbed it and felt in burning in her hand. Just before she did make the first tear, a small voice in her head told her not to destroy it but to hide it in her secret hiding place, just in case she ever was so desperate that she needed to use this ‘dirty money’ to help her and wee Stevie.
Sitting in the bath waiting for the filth of the man to leave her body, Rogers’s words registered. ‘Your father has been well paid.’ Just as she thought, her father had sold her. Prostituted her. Was there anything else her parents could or would do to her?
Chapter 7
As soon as she missed her first period Beth knew immediately she was pregnant. She was not sure what to do and who to tell and she was not sure that if she was given a choice whether she wanted to allow the pregnancy to continue. Where she had loved Stevie’s father and he had been conceived in love, this baby was very different, she hated and despised this baby’s father.
There was one sure thing, she needed to confide in someone that she was pregnant. She was due to take Stevie to the clinic, and although it was a long three mile walk to the doctor’s surgery, the weather was sunny and warm and she would make sure she went on her own. Sometimes her father would drive her, but this time she needed to be on her own.
Miss Hall did not show her shock when she heard this fifteen and a half year old tell her that she thought she might be pregnant. She just ushered her into see Dr Merriden who did a test to confirm that, yes, Beth was indeed pregnant with her second child.
Dr Merriden peered over his glasses and appeared unconvinced when Beth told him that she knew who the father was, although he was not around any longer. Dr Merriden shared his concerns with Miss Hall after Beth had left the surgery. He could not get his head around who on earth the father could be. Although Beth’s behaviour was promiscuous, it seemed incongruent, as Beth always seemed to be so quiet and well behaved. She was not one of the girls who hung around outside the Coach and Horses, skirts up around their bottoms and looking more like eighteen than fifteen. No, Beth was never even seen outside the household.
They could not help but wonder whether the father of this child was closer to home.
The doctor had arranged with Beth that he would visit Cairn View the following day and would help her break the news to her parents. He secretly had another agenda. He was determined to see her parents’ reaction, especially Fred’s immediate response to the news. Then he was going to tell her parents that he held their lack of concern and parenting responsible for Beth’s condition. How little did he know how near the truth he was in his thinking.
When she had left the surgery to make the return journey home, Beth found her thoughts were with the new baby growing inside her. Any thought she had had of not continuing with the pregnancy had vanished as soon as Dr Merriden had confirmed that she was going to have another child. She was not sure how she would cope with two children under the age of two, but somehow she would. She found herself smiling at the thought of having another little baby to hold and to love. Something positive out of something so terrible, it was meant to be, and she would love the babe whatever.
When Dr Merriden called at Cairn View the following day, Beth was happy to fetch her father from the steading saying the doctor wanted to see him. Dr Merriden was not convinced by the show which Doris and Fred put on, about how terrible it was that Beth had brought further shame on the Menzie household. Somehow, the doctor felt that this was for his benefit. However, given Beth’s story he had no way he could prove differently.
When he asked to speak to them alone, he did make it clear that he was not happy with the situation, he wondered aloud as to whom the father could be. Fred immediately responded saying it must have been a bloke that had been hanging about recently and had visited their home a few times. Yes, he had taken an interest in Beth, but they had been sure it was just platonic. Fred failed to enlighten the doctor to the fact that this bloke was old enough to be her grandfather and had paid a good price for the use of his daughter’s body.
Dr Merriden made it clear that once this baby was born he expected them to ensure that Beth visited his surgery to get some contraceptives before she ended up with a football team.
Beth was right, she did not have to suffer the same accusations and abuse as she had done when she was pregnant with Stevie. Her mother just continued to ignore her and continue to live her boring selfish life, reigning from her throne beside the kitchen range.
Fred did treat Beth differently. He was warmer and more caring towards her, bringing her some extra bits of fruit and, occasionally, even some sweets. Beth was certain this was due to guilt.
Beth blossomed again with the pregnancy. She was young, fit and healthy and full of energy. Caring for a child as well as undertaking the care of the household did not faze her at all.
Stevie celebrated his first birthday. His uncles had bought him some small cars, and he was rewarded with his first present from his grandparents, a cuddly teddy. Beth did not show how shocked she was at this, and the fact that the teddy was brand new was the biggest shock. They had a small tea party for the child. Beth had baked him a small sponge cake and decorated it with one candle.
It was her brother Ted she would always be eternally grateful to, as he now owned a small camera and took several photographs of the dark curly-haired toddler smiling happily as the adults paid attention to him. These were photographs which would become incredibly important to her in so many ways.
Chapter 8
Fred’s and Doris’s marital relationship had deteriorated further over the last couple of years. While they still shared the same bed, which had become sunken and misshapen over the years, they no longer shared any intimacy. They only spoke to each other when they could not avoid doing so.
It was a strange relationship. They appeared to have no need to discuss or talk about anything any longer. The odd grunt or nod of a head seemed to be their main form of communication. Yet they shared the same bed, lying with their backs against each other sharing space, but not the massive void in the day to day sharing of routines and life.
On the very rare occasion when words were exchanged they could be laced with accusations or sarcasm. Fred would make the odd comment that the blame for Beth’s pregnancies were laid at Doris’s door, ‘mothers were supposed to look after their daughters, advise them on birds and bees and all that’. He would tell her this over and over again.
Doris would turn and hiss and snarl at him. Her fat cheeks wobbling as she defended herself. ‘What do you’s mean, down to me? I dinna sell me daughter, you done that, call yourself a father? What father would sell his own daughter?’
Fred would storm out of the house, leaving a trail of blue air as he swore and cursed at her. The guilt he felt for bringing Roger in the house had long diminished. Beth did not seem any worse for the experience; in fact, she seemed as happy as anything having another bairn. What he did reflect on was that the money he had made out of the deal had backfired a bit as he now had another mouth to feed and another bairn to earn money for. He silently cursed Roger as he thought a businessman such as he would have at least made sure he wore a rubber.
Maybe he should have insisted that this was part of the bargain. Not that he thought he was going to repeat the arrangement with anyone else. No Roger had been a one off. He recalled the evening he had met him down at the Coach and Horses. Roger, well, he seemed a bit of a posh bloke. He had been staying on the estate doing some sort of accounts, and was a bit fed up and had taken to frequenting the local pub to seek some entertainment in this otherwise quiet and rural part of the world. One night he had got talking to Fred and had asked whether he knew of anywhere he could find
a young woman to provide him with well-needed relief for his building sexual frustration. He was willing to pay he told him.
This had been where it had started. Fred at first said he did not know of any women out in the glen who would do it for money. A couple of the older women who frequented the bar might be willing to do it for a few drinks, but money, that was a different angle. Roger had said that he was not interested in older women, he liked young women.
Fred had ended the conversation that evening and made his drunken way home. Roger seemed to have loads of money and had been willing to fund several pints.
It was the following day when it suddenly hit Fred that if he thought about it really carefully then he could possibly make a good bit of money. He knew of one young girl who might be available. He visited the bar again that evening and had sidled up to Roger saying that, if the price was right, then he might just have found what he was looking for… And so it went from there.
A price had been agreed for each visit and, indeed, Fred had made a good bit of money. However, as he now reflected, the money had been spent and the outcome of this was now going to cost him. What he had ended up with was yet another mouth to feed, another added drag on the already stretched limited resources that he brought into the household. Fuck, he should have made sure about the rubbers, or at least his wife should have made sure the girl had got some contraceptives. Fred felt no sense of guilt about what he had done So he kept reminding himself, Doris was as much involved as he had been, and surely she could have at least ensured the girl had been protected. The more he thought about this, the more he convinced himself… it was all Doris’s fault.
