by Grady, D. R.
“Or you. ‘Mom and Dad, we're expecting our first baby’ and you were what, fifteen?” Dory shot back.
“I was nineteen, thank you.”
“Nineteen, I don't think so,” Melly sputtered.
“I think you were closer to seventeen, dear,” their mom broke in and Laurie shrugged.
“I have no regrets. I think things work out the way they're supposed to. And, Lain, I don't think you would be able to do this any other way.”
“What? Why?”
“E-mailing and pictures are elements you're comfortable with. In person, Mitch would freak you out, so you'd never get to this stage,” Melly answered.
All the ladies nodded. “You all agree with her?” Lainy flung a hand out to indicate Melly.
“We do,” Granda said. “You and Mitch are doing this exactly as you should. He may not be any better at courtships than you are, love, and needs to take this slowly, too.”
“He's probably never been loved, so slow is wonderful for him, as well,” Grandmom Melody pointed out.
Lainy felt stupid as she glanced around the table and noticed all the other occupants, except for K.C. and Treeny, who looked as lost as her, nodding. Neither of her single friends had contributed much to the advice flying around. Why did love have to be so complicated?
With a sigh she cut into the new pan of cooling brownies. How did one know and understand this whole love bit? Because it sure seemed well beyond her. Give her a difficult motherboard any day. She'd even take a badly wired house over this whole love stuff.
“How do I know?” she repeated.
“You just do.”
“There's no right or wrong. Unfortunately, sweetie, there's no formula. You have to rely solely on your feelings,” Dory said in compassion, stroking her hand up and down Lainy's arm.
“That's why this is so difficult for you,” Melly explained. “Because there’s no formula, or intellect, or studying needed. Love is based on emotions.”
“But at least she's eating chocolate - someone taught her well,” Grandmom Melody stated proudly.
“Yes, yes we did.” Laurie’s voice held complacency. “She's been through this with us, so she has a basis.”
“No, I don't because this doesn't make any sense to me.”
“If it did, no one would have problems or be lonely. Love doesn't make sense, it just exists. Unfortunately, the only person who can determine whether you're in love or not is you.” Granda rubbed Lainy's hands.
“I'd say you're well on your way,” her mother declared, surveying the remains of their chocolate fest.
“I can't believe you thought to do this all by yourself.” Rachel sent a quelling look at Lainy.
“We’re here to help. Well, I’m here to eat chocolate.” Treeny grinned at her, and Lainy returned the gesture. With a wave of her hand, Treeny indicated the other women. “But everyone else can help you sort all this out.”
“Exactly, this is what we're for,” Zara, Ed's wife, added.
“Falling in love is a lot of fun. But often you need to hold on and enjoy the ride.” Lainy could see the wisdom in Grandmom Melody’s words, but didn't know how.
“You can't get off until the ride's done anyway, so enjoy it while it lasts,” Dory said.
“And if you're lucky, the ride will only get better. Sure there'll be some rather alarming dips, and you might have to climb some pretty steep inclines, but the ride is most definitely worth riding,” Laurie explained.
Lainy could see her family all had excellent marriages. They loved their spouses and made this romance business look easy. She hated it. Disappointment and bitterness and disgust, those were emotions she had experienced so far. It wasn’t encouraging.
“Enjoy Mitch and savor your time together, love. Don't rush this part, because you might be with him for the rest of your life,” Granda Elizabeth said.
“If that doesn't fill you with terror, he's probably the right one,” her mom explained.
“Living without him fills me with terror.” Lainy whimpered. But did he feel the same way? Could he love her – a nerd? When would he know? Would he still love her after she revealed her past?
“Well, that's another good indication he's the right one,” Dory exclaimed.
“But what if he's not what I think or I'm not what he thinks?” she asked, desperate, wanting to throw her deepest fear out, but not sure she wanted the answer. Treeny grimaced, and reached out to lay a hand on her arm. When Lainy’s eyes met hers, she recognized the same fears floating in Treeny’s ice blue orbs.
“That's an excellent question, and the one every dating couple has to work through.” Zara snagged some Junior Mints.
“So this isn't odd or unusual?”
“Nope, perfectly normal,” Laurie quipped.
“See, Lainy, it took you a bit longer, but you're exactly like the rest of us.” Dory sounded like a cheerleader. Something in Lainy shifted and swayed and she couldn't say she enjoyed the sensation.
“Is that supposed to cheer me up?” Her head bumped against her arm on the table and Lainy decided to stay there - she could smell the brownies and chocolate wrappers better. Her grandmothers had already loaded their utensils and plates in the dishwasher and cleaned everything else up.
“Remember, lovey, you'll just know. That's how easy love is,” her mother said.
Yeah, love was so easy, that’s why she was developing an ulcer. And why she’d failed so miserably in the past. A past she still had to tell Mitch. Maybe it was good he’d be gone for three months. It’d take her that long to figure out what to write him.
“This is what courtship is all about.” Her Granda Elizabeth hugged her. The ladies disappeared as abruptly as they’d arrived.
Lainy groaned as Bentley whapped his tail against her leg.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lainy closed the last window, locked it, and stepped back to survey the room. Whistling for Bentley as she locked the door, she tucked him into the truck and climbed in after him. On the way home, she thought about Mitch. Just like she'd been doing since his last e-mail.
She'd read it again every day and still couldn't figure the dratted thing out. Like it was written in some sort of code and she didn't have the key. Mitch, being a man, wouldn't write anything difficult to comprehend.
Her intelligent self argued with her girlie self who insisted on ripping every little word apart to guess its meaning. This was a fine time for her girlie self to show. Now suddenly she’d start screaming at the sight of insects and shopping for pink clothes. And she kept tearing his e-mail apart. “Well, he used this word because he was trying to tell me this. And this word so I'd think that.”
The constant mental bickering was enough to drive her to drink. And she hated the smell of alcohol. So, she'd taken to eating chocolate with every meal. Which meant she had to run every day, without fail, since she liked her shorts and jeans and didn't relish the idea of buying new ones. The minute her girlie self insisted on one day of rest, her practical self would pipe up about having to go lingerie shopping in addition to clothes shopping and she'd don her workout clothes without haste.
The only thing Lainy hated more than this whole love mess was lingerie shopping. She didn't mind normal shopping, but having to buy bras, panties, and a bathing suit went against every nerd quality she possessed. And unfortunately for her, she possessed many.
Which then brought her right back round to the one subject she wanted to avoid. Mitch and how he could love her. Did he love her? Or was he just thinking of her in a friendly fashion? Because if she revealed her darkest secrets to this man, she had to trust him with her heart.
She couldn't comprehend how a Marine could love a nerd, and that sent her into a tailspin of agony. Would she get hurt, or live happily ever after? Maybe he’d think he loved her now, but change his mind later? Once he read that e-mail she still hadn’t composed. What if he hated how she climbed into her work and forgot everything else? Would he mind her forgetting to make supper?
Or waking in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea she had to work on?
She didn't particularly care for fairy tales. She'd never read one that featured a nerd as the heroine, so she'd never taken to them. Her sisters loved them, because they were all beautiful. They could picture themselves in the heroine’s shoes.
Not Lainy. She'd figured, early on, if an evil stepmother had ever made her work all the time and she had nasty stepsisters, she'd be able to take care of the problem with a simple zap of electricity. If they still didn't cooperate, she'd nail them harder. Electrocution tended to grab people's attention. Even that of an evil stepmother and nasty stepsisters.
Had she been left in the forest for the handsome prince to come along and kiss her so she'd wake up, Lainy always figured she'd have lain there a long time. Maybe had the fairy tale been to wake up to the chorus of “Aunt Lainy's” or dog pee or something, she'd have a major chance.
Fairy tales were for little girls. Not for grown women. A circuit board could immerse her for hours. Give her something useful to build and she'd forget to eat or go to the bathroom. She probably needed another nerd, one who was as fascinated by nerdy things as she, not a heroic Marine fighting for her freedom. The image of twin work benches and a man with glasses and a pocket protector didn’t sit well, though. Instead, the image of a handsome, buff guy with a short haircut enticed her, excited her, and worried her.
Lainy nearly missed her turn, but Bentley barked and snapped her out of her revelry. “Sorry, buddy,” she murmured, patting him consolingly as she made the turn. The tires squealed, but she managed to do that from time to time, so her family, also her neighbors, wouldn't think anything of her crazy driving.
She pulled the truck into the garage and hit the button to roll down the door. Bentley hopped out and sniffed everything, probably to make certain no squirrels or other vermin had broken into his garage. After the computer hacking attempts, which had continued at the lake, she was more leery these days. Lainy dropped the suitcases she'd removed from the truck when Bentley let out a howled bark loud enough to wake the neighbors three blocks over.
“Bentley, what's wrong?” She stared at him, wondering what had provoked him as he growled viciously.
“He's probably sniffed me out,” a voice, a familiar voice, said from the doorway leading into the kitchen. Lainy left the suitcases to run into Ben's outstretched arms.
“What are you doing here? When did you come? Meet Bentley,” she said at the last when Mitch's dog pushed between them like an overprotective chaperone.
“Bent, he's my cousin and he's met your daddy, so be nice,” Lainy scolded as she pushed Ben to the limits of her outstretched arms and looked him over. “How’s Mitch?” she couldn't resist asking.
“Mitch is great. Awesome, actually,” Ben looked down at Bentley, “you've got a cool daddy.” Bentley received and accepted a rub with aplomb. Apparently Ben had been deemed safe because Bentley soon left them to rediscover the house.
“You saw him? He did mention he met you in an e-mail, but he got called off to some project.”
“I like him. Although, when he does come home, you're going to have to ease him into the family. No massive reunions his first year or so back,” Ben cautioned and Lainy nodded.
“Wait, the first year?” she repeated, staring at him in utter bewilderment.
“Wow, you caught that faster than I thought, nerd girl,” he complimented as he tapped her nose and helped Lainy carry in her things. “Did you pack up the whole house?” Ben complained as he went back to her truck for the fourth trip.
“No, but I needed certain parts, so I had to take all of them. I didn't know what I'd need.”
“What'd you make?” he asked eagerly, peering over her shoulder as she snapped a briefcase open.
Ben whistled when she removed the computer. “Mitch has one just like that,” he said in awe. “I was jealous, but didn't tell him.”
“I made his.” There was a little pride in her voice.
“You built that computer?” He wore his I-can't-believe-you-did-that look.
“I did.” Lainy opened the lid and booted up her second project. She wanted to see how it had taken the trip home. Of course, Mitch's computer had survived being air-mailed and crossed more miles than she, so she didn't figure this one would have problems.
“You built him one, but not me?” Ben sounded hurt, and Lainy turned to him with a mischievous smile.
“Yes. You see, Mitch e-mails me every day when he's not out in the field, which is more than I can say for you, oh favorite cousin. I didn't want to lose contact with him like I have with you.” She kept her voice innocent.
Ben didn't look impressed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Melanie nails me every time I come home. But more often than not, I'm can’t communicate at all.”
“I know. But, you could stay in touch a lot more than you do.”
“Probably. I still can't believe you built a computer for Mitch and not one for me.”
“Mitch is in a better place to test it. At least for sand right now. Stop acting like a child, I built one for you, too.” Lainy watched the screen. “I'm not quite finished with this one yet, so you're going to have to wait.”
“What does it need still? Wow, my very own Lainy-built computer. Cool.” Lainy had to avoid him twice and sidestep him once to find the programs she still needed to install.
“Hello, would you get out of my way?” she exclaimed after bumping into him for the third time.
“Sorry, but you know, I can install these programs all by myself. I do have some computer literacy.”
“You're a Navy SEAL.”
“Yes, I know, which means I do know how to install programs on computers.” He leaned forward and whispered, “I even know how to write programs for computers.”
Lainy flicked his nose and went back to work. Something kept stealing her attention. With a sniff she finally located the distraction. Rounding on Ben she asked, excitement tinting her words, “Did you cook?”
He rolled his eyes. “Of course I cooked. I didn't know when you were coming home and even if I had, I still wouldn't have trusted your cooking. I've eaten your food.” He rubbed his flat belly and formed a pained expression. “And I'm not likely to repeat the experience any time soon.”
“As I informed one of the apes this week, nerds can read, therefore, we can cook. Besides, I'm positive your digestive system has handled far worse than my cooking. Especially since I've eaten Mel's concoctions.” Lainy used their pet name for his sister, Melanie.
“There is that,” Ben agreed with a shudder. “I still can't believe you sent Mitch a computer first. Of course, you've got the hots for him, and not me.”
Lainy sent him a disgusted look. “You're my cousin.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“So, how's Treeny?” Lainy couldn't resist asking and Ben choked on the soda he'd just sipped. She'd made a Navy SEAL choke. Go her. She grinned.
“Not funny.” He choked and gasped at the same time.
“Oh, you can tease me about having the hots for Mitch, whom I haven't met yet, so I'm not certain how that's even possible. While you, on the other hand not only met Treeny a long time ago, you've also had the pleasure of being discovered in Will's cabin closet with her.”
“Did you know she giggles when under fire?” Ben tried to act nonchalant, but Lainy wasn't fooled. “Oh, yeah, and Mitch has a DVD that incriminates you, by the way. There's no doubt you're the culprit and Grandmom and Granddad and Will are definite witnesses.”
“You saw that DVD?” Lainy felt a surge of panic, but Ben wore a smile, so she decided to enjoy the notoriety.
“Yep. Actually we watched all four videos.”
“What four videos?”
“The closet detouring, and by the way your time will come,” he warned as he ticked off fingers to correspond with DVDs. “A herd scene, Bentley throwing your brothers into the lake, and you and the other women doing the commando bit. You probably could have a
career in the military.”
“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass. Let me guess, you military men made fun of our feeble efforts.” Lainy rested her chin on her palm and stared at him with baleful intensity.
“We may, or may not have. I'll never tell,” Ben said and changed the subject. “I do like Mitch. He's a good match for you.”
“Is he?”
Ben frowned. “Why wouldn’t he be?”
“I’m a nerd. He’s a Marine and you know - never the twain shall meet.” This whole romance thing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
“Lainy, you’re so much more than a nerd. Sure, you’re smart, but you’re also beautiful and funny and sweet.” The intensity in his voice helped his cause.
“I don’t know, Ben.”
“Lain, I think you’re making this harder than it is.”
Lainy scowled. “How is that possible?”
“He’s a man, you’re a woman. It’s that simple.”
She thought about that. Was that how men viewed relationships? As male/female with no other complications? Was she making this harder than necessary? Did she stand a chance with Mitch? If that’s how men viewed life, she and Mitch might be okay. But then her ex’s had viewed life that way and....
“I’d say you’re a good match. But the rellys are going to overwhelm him.” Ben broke into her thoughts, thankfully.
“Probably,” she said and sighed, grateful for the conversation shift.
“I think you have to be born into this family not to be overwhelmed.”
“You weren't, well, you were.”
“You know what I mean. I'm adopted, but I still fit.”
“Exactly. You and your sister’s are all adopted and you fit. You do look like Granddad.”
“Mitch isn’t going to have the advantage of having gone to school with us like most of the in-laws.”
“K.C. didn’t go to school with us, and she fits.”
Ben cocked his head. “True. Is there something going on with her and Max do you think?”
“They’re business partners.”
“Yeah, I know.” But his frown made her stop and think about the situation.
