He shrugged to show he would let it go, but I could tell he hadn’t bought into my facade.
‘Would you like something to eat?’ he asked.
‘Think I’ll give it a miss tonight, am too tired. Will you cuddle up to me while I fall back to sleep?’
He cupped my face and smiled heart-warmingly at me, before helping me to strip out of my clothes. Once I crawled into bed, he lay on top of the covers, pulling me close to him as I drifted into sleep, feeling safe and protected with him there.
Muted voices roused me slightly. They came from downstairs and I was sure that Gabriel’s voice was raised in anger. As sleep began to claim me again, Gabriel spoke my name, but before I could grab hold of what he was saying I was taken away on a sea of mist into a thankfully dreamless sleep.
Chapter 13
I sat in my seat at the individual table in the middle of the hall, staring at my pen, pencil, ruler, rubber and sharpener. The room was filled with the sounds of scuffling feet and quiet, nervous chatter as everybody waited for the papers to be handed around. The fear hung thick in the air, like moisture on a muggy day. After everything that had happened, it seemed silly to be afraid of an exam, but still, my hands shook slightly as I manoeuvred my stationary into a neat line at the edge of the wooden desk.
What was worse was that I didn’t just have my own nerves to deal with; there was also the tension of the other hundred plus people in the room. Eris was right; I could definitely sense emotions more now.
One of the lecturers whose name I couldn’t remember, an elderly man with grey speckled hair, started handing out the papers. Several muffled coughs echoed around the hall, as if they were trying to clear their throats before silence was demanded of them. When the paper was slid onto my table with a small smile from the lecturer, I had to force myself not to chew on my nail. I didn’t feel ready for this at all.
The time, 09:30 was written on the white board at the front of the room, under the large rounded clock, followed by 12:30. Three hours seemed so long, and I was already regretting that second cup of coffee I had drunk.
‘You may open your papers now,’ the lecturer said clearly.
The rustle of paper was loud as the edges were torn. Taking a deep breath, I used my pen to open the edge of mine. There were only two sides of printed words, which made it worse as it would mean that they expected long, detailed answers. I tried to focus on the questions, but I felt crushed by everyone else’s fear as if I was a magnet, drawing it all towards me, intensifying my own anxiety until it was sharp enough to affect my breathing.
Shield yourself better, Eris had said. I focused on her words and took a deep breath as I imagined a bubble around me, blocking the sense of everyone else. According to the clock at the front, it was almost a minute before I began to feel a change. The tension began to fade out, as if it was chatter instead of emotions and I was moving out of range.
I sighed loudly as I felt the pressure lift, causing the lecturer to glance in my direction and when I looked back at the paper, I gave a twitch of a smile. I could focus once more.
The time flew by, and I finished and checked my paper with fourteen minutes to spare. Leaning back in my seat, I studied everyone around me. Some were still writing furiously, the scratch of their pen on the paper loud, desperate to get those last words out before the time was up. Others were like me, sat back in their seats with a smile of relief on their faces.
‘Pens down now,’ the lecturer said once the hand of the clock reached the designated time.
There were several groans as people dropped their pens and even one relieved laugh. The papers were collected and we were given permission to leave. The room was filled with the sound of scrapping chairs and chatter as people made their way to the back to collect their bags.
‘How did you do?’ an excited voice asked me. I turned to find Cheryl, her young face flushed with excitement.
‘Okay, I think,’ I said honestly. ‘You?’
‘It was awful,’ she moaned. ‘I’m dreading the next one.’
She walked with me to the exit of the building, chatting about which parts she found most difficult.
‘Are you coming to the end of year ball?’ she asked.
The ball was the cause of much excitement between the students and at one time, I had felt the same. But now, when I thought about being out in public, the face of the Fae forced itself into my mind.
‘I’m afraid I can’t.’ If it hadn’t been for what had happened lately, I may well have gone, if only because I had never been to such an event. ‘But you enjoy yourself,’ I added as I turned away towards the car park.
The car was due its yearly safety check, so I dropped it at the garage, with crossed fingers that there was nothing too bad with it, and walked the short distance to Beth’s.
The afternoon was lovely, not just because I hadn’t seen my sister in a few weeks, but because as I listened to her talk about all the problems with the kids, everything that had happened faded into the background. We didn’t talk about Lexi. She knew what had happened, but also knew that I would talk about it if I needed. It was nice to pretend for one day that everything was normal.
I had hoped that I would have the car back in time to drive home, but I should have known better, an old banger like mine had zero chance of sailing through the test. Luckily the damage wasn’t as bad as it could have been, and after talking to the mechanic for several minutes, I got off the phone with my bank account two hundred and sixty pounds lighter and no car for two days.
Gabriel was supposed to be leaving work at a reasonable time, so I left a message on the house phone for him to pick me up. The car had already dented my savings and I didn’t want to waste any more money on a taxi.
When it came time to leave, Beth hugged me fiercely at the door. ‘You know where I am if you need to talk,’ she murmured.
How I wished I could tell her everything that had happened. Even with Gabriel there for me, I felt a deep sense of loneliness that left me hollow and disconnected from the world.
When we arrived home, I could see Adam watching us through the open kitchen window.
‘Is he staying for long?’ I asked with annoyance.
‘Is there a problem if he does?’ Gabriel’s eyes narrowed with irritation and I had to remind myself that I was talking about his friend.
‘No,’ I mumbled. ‘Just wondering.’
He gave me a long stare before getting out of the car and starting down the path. I had to rush to catch up.
‘I just wanted a bit of time on my own with you to talk.’
‘About what?’ he asked, stopping only a few feet from the door.
‘Eris.’ My voice was low in the hope that Adam wouldn’t hear us.
‘What about Eris?’ His lips tightened as they always did at the mention of her name.
Although I didn’t want to have the conversation in the open, I also knew there was more privacy than in the house.
‘I think you should try to make amends with her.’
‘You have no idea what you’re talking about,’ he said stiffly. ‘You do not know what happened.’
‘Actually I do.’ I stared at him pointedly and tried to stretch myself up in the hope of reaching eye level. ‘She told me about it.’
‘You heard her side,’ he sneered as he turned towards the door. I grabbed his arm in order to pull him back, having to plant my feet so as not to be pulled along with him.
‘Why don’t you tell me then? Because she seems to think that she is to blame.’
Gabriel stiltedly told me his version. ‘Now you see?’ he said with a touch of smugness that only irritated me further.
‘No I don’t. That is exactly what Eris told me and to be quite honest I’m disgusted with you.’ He recoiled from my words, causing me to regret the harshness. ‘She is your wife’s sister. Do you think she would approve of how you are treating Eris?’ He stood staring at me and I knew I had hit a sore spot. ‘You know I love you,’ I reass
ured him. ‘But the way you treat Eris makes me wonder how you would treat me if I ever caused you pain.’
‘It’s not the same and you know it.’ The arrogance had been replaced with a stiff monotone.
‘Maybe not, but it does make me question your character.’
I challenged him with my stare, aware that I was crossing a line, but was unable to stop myself. I had experienced the unjust blame Eris held for herself and believed that Gabriel should have freed her from it.
‘Ana,’ he pleaded, the stiffness gone. ‘I don’t think I can.’
‘Have you even tried?’ I forced myself to ask gently. ‘It happened a very long time ago and it’s about time you did.’
‘I don’t know how.’
‘How about you start with inviting her for dinner?’ I was pushing him too fast, but was tired of the animosity between them, as if there weren’t enough things to worry about already.
‘Why does it mean so much to you?’
‘Because whether you like it or not she is your family, and if something were to happen to her, you would never forgive yourself.’
Gabriel pulled me into his arms. ‘I love you, you know. I will try, if only for you.’
After kissing him full on the mouth I said, ‘Find out when she is available for dinner.’ Ignoring his pained expression I pulled away to enter the house, only to come face to face with Adam’s cold stare.
‘Fantastic,’ I muttered. A vague memory of hearing them arguing the night before came back to me and I realised that Gabriel must have gone against my wishes and talked to him.
I gave him a sharp nod and retrieved the sandwiches I had made earlier from the fridge. When I offered him some he just continued to stare at me frostily. It was worse than having in laws, at least they went away.
Making the excuse of Uni reading, I retired to the lounge with my food and retrieved my books with displeasure as I really did have work to do.
The time passed quickly and I jumped when Gabriel kissed me on the neck. ‘I’m going up. Are you coming?’
I gazed longingly at him before sighing loudly. ‘I will be soon. I just have to finish this chapter.’ My next exam was in a couple of days and I didn’t think it would go as easily as the first one had.
Gabriel kissed me with a passion that almost made me throw the books to one side and chase him up the stairs, but I was in the zone and needed to at least finish the section I was on. I groaned as I pushed him away.
‘Go, before I have to change my mind.’
‘Would that be a bad thing?’ His breath intoxicated me, making it hard to focus on what the reason for saying no was.
‘Umm…’
He laughed and kiss me once more before pulling away. ‘I’ll be waiting.’
Once alone again I tried to focus on my reading, but it was too late. My mind was already upstairs in bed with Gabriel doing things I certainly couldn’t do sat alone with my books. Sighing, I collected my plate, and took it to the kitchen.
‘Why did you do it?’ Adams voice startled me, causing me to nearly drop the plate.
‘Why do you do that?’ I snapped.
‘Do what?’
‘Creep up on me in the dark.’ I reached around to flick the light on and marched to the sink, almost throwing the plate in.
‘I did not creep. I have been sat here all the time.’
My teeth ground together as I whirled around to face him. ‘Do you always have to sit in the dark?’
He shrugged. ‘I do not need the light like you do.’ When I turned to leave he asked me again, ‘Why did you do it?’
‘What could I have possibly done now?’ My voice was raised in frustration. ‘If this is about what I told Gabriel, I told him not to say anything.’ I still remembered the cold look he had given me when I had got home.
‘No. It is about Eris.’
There was a moment of silence, in which the conversation with Gabriel ran through my head. ‘What’s the problem?’ I said. ‘I thought you would be happy about it.’
‘I am.’
‘So what’s the problem then?’
‘I want to know why you did it.’
‘Go to hell. You want to be suspicious of me fine, but I don’t have to put up with your crap, especially as my metre has reached its limit for the week. Unless you tell me what it is you want to know, I’m not interested anymore.’
My anger escalated and my mind reached out. I wanted to know what it was he found so disturbing about me. My ability to read emotions had gotten stronger, even to the point that I could sometimes accurately guess what Gabriel was thinking from how he was feeling. I figured it couldn’t do any harm to try, at the very least I could work out the level of his distrust of me.
Touching him was like nothing I had experienced so far. With everyone else their emotions were like waves in the sea, flowing and changing as their thoughts did. Even though I was unable to read their thoughts, if I paid enough attention I could sense when they changed. With Adam it was like having a metal door slammed in your face. It was cold, hard and nothing penetrated it, not even a wisp of feeling, as if they were locked up tight.
‘It will not work on me,’ he said, making me jump.
As he moved forwards, I first blushed with shame for looking in his head and then cringed with fear as he paused only a foot away from me.
‘So you are getting abilities then?’
Too late I remembered Eris’s warning about how a Siis could tell, although I could have sworn she had said it was my reaction to them they could sense and as I hadn’t felt anything there was no reaction to read.
‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered. He stared intensely at me and I averted my eyes, partly with guilt and partly to prevent being trapped by his gaze. I sensed him shift and when I finally found the courage to look up, he was gone.
‘I screwed up,’ I admitted to Gabriel as I cuddled up to him in bed.
‘How is that possible?’ He laughed, as if the idea was absurd.
As I told him about what had happened I expected him to get angry. Once I had finished, I bit my lip, waiting for his response.
‘That is not going to help matters,’ he sighed.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You know you asked why Adam distrusted you.’ I nodded, though I was certain it was more than distrust. ‘It’s because he is concerned about what you may become.’
‘You mean like the Fae?’
He pursed his lips and sighed through his nose. ‘You have to understand that as far as we know, there has never been another like you. The closest to what you are would be the Fae.’
‘But Eris said I couldn’t become like them.’ An equal measure of fear and hate coiled in my stomach at the thought of the child demons.
‘You won’t.’ He pulled me tighter into his arms. ‘As far as I have been able to tell, absorbing my Shi has only increased your natural ability, that being your empathy. I do wish you hadn’t used it on Adam though, I have been trying to keep it hidden from him.’
‘You knew what I could do?’ I asked incredulously.
‘Of course I did. Do you really think I would not notice you mirroring me and the occasions that you have connected to see what I’m feeling?’
I had thought I had been so clever and discreet.
‘Will he tell the rest of your kind? Eris told me they wouldn’t be happy.’
‘Eris talks too much,’ he muttered, causing me to regret mentioning her.
‘Well?’
‘It’s very unlikely. However, I’m afraid he will watch you closely to make sure that nothing else occurs.’ My gulp was loud in the quiet room. ‘You worry too much,’ he tried to reassure me. ‘It will all be fine, I promise.’ He kissed me firmly on the mouth while stroking his fingers across my cheek. ‘Are you still worried?’ Although still anxious, my heart gave a little flutter.
‘Yes.’
‘What about now?’ He kissed me with more passion as his fingers trailed down my neck. I could only
nod as I started to gasp. ‘Now?’ His fingers trailed down to my chest and as he again touched his lips to mine I released all my worries, pulling him closer to me I kissed him with such ferocity that I shocked myself. As we made love for the first time in days, the whole world ceased to exist. Time stopped as did my thoughts. Finally I found the one thing I had been craving; silent peace.
Chapter 14
It was the day I had been dreading. Gabriel booked the morning off work so that he could accompany me to the church. The sun shone brightly as he led me up the long path lined with ancient gravestones, causing the drops of rain that were falling in a light mist to sparkle and small rainbows to appear low in the sky.
Saint Mary’s was an old church, decorated with gargoyles and high stone arches. Even though I wasn’t religious, I had visited the place many times in the past. The services held no interest for me, but I always enjoyed the quiet peacefulness the empty church offered.
When we reached the heavy doors, I pulled back.
‘I can’t go in there,’ I said. ‘How can I face Margret?’ The thought of coming face to face with Lexi’s mother caused my heart to beat erratically and my palms to sweat. ‘What if she can see my guilt?’
Gabriel sighed and a numb feeling spread throughout me. ‘It will be over soon,’ he promised as he led me through the doors.
The lengthy church was barely half filled, many of the occupants fidgeting and murmuring to each other. I almost sighed with relief when Gabriel led me to an empty pew at the back as I wasn’t sure I would be able to witness Margret’s grief up close. The controlled numbness continued throughout the service, making it impossible for me to cry, even when the priest spoke kind words of the person Lexi had been. Gabriel kept a tight grip on my hand as the mahogany coffin was carried back up the aisle. I kept my head bowed as Margret passed; her grief so intense that I recoiled from it.
We followed the procession to behind the church where the grave had been dug. Gabriel tried to coax me to the front, but when I saw the deep hole it was all too much.
‘I can’t,’ I told him as I pulled back.
Night of the Fae (Ana Martin series) Page 14
