After cleaning up, she rest her naked chest over mine. I felt her fingernails crossing over the small patch hair on my chest. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” She admitted.
“Thank you for that.” I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. “You didn’t have to do that. I hope it wasn’t too painful.”
She shrugged and intertwined one of our hands together. “It wasn’t so bad once I stopped fighting it. I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Never.” I kissed her again. “I’ll never hurt you, Ash.”
“Do you ever feel like we don’t deserve to be this happy?” She looked right at me, making me think about her question a little too much. “What do you mean? Ash, everyone makes mistakes. You did what you did because you loved someone so much that you felt as if you had to do something ridiculous to get him back. I’m the one that cheated and ran around on my girlfriend, telling my friends and family lies for my own personal gain.”
“Okay, let’s just agree that we were both young and stupid. Still, how could anyone take us seriously? Us being together is just unbelievable.”
I don’t know why I felt like I needed to get it out in the open, but I blurted out the words before thinking. “I called Lacey and told her not to stop by like that anymore. I don’t want you upset when I’m not home, or ever. If me being friends with her bothers you, I’ll stop. As far as everyone else goes, I don’t give a shit what they think about us. I’m sure other people have made a life out of a lot less than we have together. We’ve lived together for months and known each other for even longer. We’re comfortable being together and it feels right. Don’t you think so? Don’t you think all of the haters should just kiss our ass? I know I do. Especially my dad. He can kiss my ass.”
“Shayne, I don’t want you to lose your job. We need to think about the kids. If you don’t want me working we’ve got to be responsible.” Her concern was the same as mine.
“I’m goin’ to talk to my uncle tomorrow mornin’. Maybe we can all work somethin’ out. Don’t worry about me bein’ unemployed. As much of a dick as my dad is bein’, he won’t stop payin’ me. He acts like an asshole, but somewhere inside of that fat-head of his, he has a heart. He doesn’t want his grandkids to be homeless, trust me.”
That was the truth. We may be butting heads, but he wouldn’t ever want his family in hardship. I’d seen him do everything to save my aunt, so I knew most of his arguments were a bluff.
Ash relaxed and rested her cheek on my chest. “I hope you’re right.”
I closed my eyes, feeling content with our situation. My uncle didn’t know I was going to ask, but I felt as if I needed a reprieve from my father. If he thought I was really seeking a different job, he might chill out and give me some much needed slack. There was a time when our paths barely crossed on the job. Now, all of the sudden, he was in my shit almost every day.
Something had to give.
When I finally let myself fall asleep, I dreamed about living in an old farm house that I’d seen for sale on the way home. I’d had a friend that grew up there and his family lost it when times got tough. The dream was so vivid that when I woke to a screaming baby, I sat up and looked around, as if we’d be in that house.
It was enough to make me wonder if it wasn’t a sign for me to look into buying it. We couldn’t live in an apartment forever. The twins were going to need a yard to run around in and I was going to make sure they had it. Hell or high water, they were going to want for nothing, even if I had to suffer the wrath of my father each and every day for the rest of his life.
Chapter 8
Ashley
For the record, anal sex wasn’t my cup of tea. I did my best giving Shayne something more than a blow-job. When I got up in the middle of the night to feed the twins I felt like I’d been blessed with hemorrhoids. Far be it from me to take away from Shayne’s happiness. He’d finally gotten a little more than he was used to. I had to admit that it did make me feel closer to him. Maybe I was just scared that if I didn’t give him more, he would go somewhere else to get it.
The twins only got up two times in the middle of the night, so I felt more rested than I had since I’d had them. Much to my surprise, Shayne was up early holding Beka when I walked into the kitchen. He leaned over and kissed me before handing her to me. “I need to get goin’. I’m meetin’ my uncle at his shop before I go into work. My sister will be here in an hour. If she’s not, start blowin’ up her phone.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I’m paying her a hundred bucks a week to sit around here with you and help with anything you need done. She’s lookin’ for a job and until she finds one, she can make good use with her time. Besides, she owes me for a million times she’s interfered in my business.”
“Shayne, if she doesn’t want to be here, we can’t force her.”
“The hell we can’t. She’s coming. Make sure you have pants on.” He kissed me slowly, letting his lips linger over mine. “Thank you for last night, Ash. I know it wasn’t anything memorable, but it meant a lot to be so close to you.”
I placed small kisses around his lips. “It was nice.” Just not nice enough for me to ever beg for it again. He didn’t have to know that, though. “I just wanted to be close to you.”
“We’ve got plenty of time, Ash. There’s no hurry. I mean, it’s going to be the best night of my life, I already know that.”
My cheeks heated up hearing him say that. I’d never been with someone that complimented so much about me. “How can you be sure?”
“Because I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. I’ve never loved anyone before, not like this. I know I must sound like a broken record.”
I shook my head and smiled, feeling more happy than I could ever remember being. “No. You can keep sayin’ it.”
“Just know that I’m going to make this work. I’ll do whatever I have to. It’s you and me against the world, Ash.”
He kissed me one more time before taking his coffee cup and walking out the door. Immediately, I heard Eli crying. Beka was happy in my arms, but I was certain she wouldn’t feel the same way about being put down. “Be a good little baby for Mommy. I’ve got to go change your brother.”
She started wailing before I could make it to the next room. I didn’t want to spoil them, but I hated hearing either of my infants crying. After rushing to change my son, I hurried back and picked up his sister. It was difficult maneuvering them both, but getting them on the same schedule helped, especially at night.
I’d no sooner got them both on a breast when someone knocked on the door. It was quite a predicament to be fully exposed and unable to answer it.
I went to yell, but heard it opening. Alarmed, I turned and saw Peyton standing there with a bag full of fast-food. “It’s just me. Shayne left me a key under the mat, but told me to knock first.” She covered her face. “Do you need me to wait in the kitchen? Should I turn my back?”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Seriously? You do have breasts right?”
She looked down at her chest. “Last time I checked.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
I felt the couch move as she sat down on the other end of it and started pulling out the food. It smelled so good that my mouth began to water. Out of the corner of her eye I caught her catching my desperation to taste something so appetizing. “I got you somethin’. Shayne told me what you like. He sure does know a lot about you.”
“Yeah, he does.”
She took a bite of a hashbrown and turned her attention back to me. “So, supposedly I’m at your disposal. He says that if I piss you off, even one time, he won’t pay me. I guess I’ll be changin’ diapers and making runs to the store for you. I don’t clean toilets. I’m just tellin’ you that right now.”
I laughed when she said it, thinking about her bent over cleaning the toilet. Peyton was too prissy to even consider doing something remotely disgusting. “I won’t ask you for much. Mos
tly it’s helping me manage both of them. We’ve started supplementing the formula in case they want to eat at the same time at night, but as you can see, I can manage, it’s just hard.”
Peyton acted like she was too good to break a nail. After giving birth to twins, without pain management, I was pretty okay with cleaning a toilet, once I could squat and not feel like my vagina was going to catch fire.
Much to my surprise, she was actually a big help. It was nice having an extra set of hands to manage the twins. Plus, she was their aunt, and even though she wasn’t in the know about their real paternity, they were still her brother’s children, just not the brother she thought.
After a few hours she brought up the day before. I’d been reluctant to talk about it, not really knowing how bad her brother had laid into her for that unexpected visit.
“Sorry about yesterday. It’s just, well, I spend a lot of time over at Joey’s now, and Lacey lives there. She’s always been so nice to me and I knew that she hates how nobody talks to Shayne anymore. I thought that if I could make you two be friends, everything would eventually start workin’ out. Shayne and Ford need to make up soon. He gets along with Joey fine, but it’s just weird. They were best friends growin’ up, ya know?”
“I was there when we were growin’ up, Peyton. I’ve been out on so many double dates with Ford and your brother it’s insane. Of course, I was datin’ Ford and it was completely different, but still. I know they were close. We were all close before Harley died. After that happened everything changed. Ford changed.”
It made me sad to think back when that all happened. I felt so alone, having him push me away because he couldn’t deal with it. Things got really bad for me after that. Not only had I lost my boyfriend, but I didn’t really hang out with the best people. I smoked a lot of marijuana and drank until I couldn’t feel my emotions anymore. I was lost and wanted to drown my pain however I could. Ford knew it and that’s probably why he stayed away. I know that deep down inside he blames me for her death. I blame myself sometimes too. Indirectly, I suppose it was partly my fault. I never should have talked her into going to that party, and I certainly shouldn’t have coaxed her to drink. Ford and I were on the rocks, being that he was going to school so far away. The whole whirlwind of my life changed everything. In one moment I lost my first love and the family that I’d always considered my own.
It took Shayne a while to reach out to me, but after he rescued me one night at the beach, from a terrible situation, I started doing all of my partying at his place.
He probably felt sorry for my demise. In a way, I wanted the attention. I wanted anything that would make the pain go away.
After failed counseling sessions and a dozen antidepressants, I was left feeling even more lost. I’d pretty much reached rock bottom when I saw Ford with Sky for the first time. I’d been messaging him, but always knew he didn’t want to hang out.
After that night, I fled back to the beach and ended up sleeping with Shayne and Peyton’s brother.
It was such a mistake. I regretted it even while it was happening. I’d stooped so low and prepared myself for that life ending blow to my humanity.
To protect his brother, Shayne buried the event, promising to never speak of it. A few pregnancy tests later and all of that went to shit.
The rest is part of the story that brought us together. Though it was a horrible way to fall in love, it had happened. I owed him so much, especially the way I’d handled Ford, and my pregnancy.
I’d cost them their friendship. It was all my fault.
“Peyton, nobody wants to see Ford and Shayne reconcile more than me. I’m afraid it’s goin’ to take a little more than Sky’s best friend bein’ nice to me for that to happen.”
“It’s still a start. They can’t fight like this forever. So what if you slept with Shayne. You and Ford weren’t together, right?”
She didn’t have a clue.
I nodded, unable to admit anything out loud. I was sick of lying.
With two little ones and a new relationship to worry about, I needed to focus on the future and no longer the past.
“Well, Lacey said the twins are super cute. I think she’s tryin’ real hard to be your friend.”
Thankfully, Eli woke up and started screaming from the top of his healthy lungs. It was enough to wake his sister and cause Peyton to have to help me out.
I appreciated the interruption, but knew it wouldn’t be the last time she tried to talk about it. At some point I was going to have to do something to get the family off my back, which pretty much meant that I needed to figure out how to make Ford forgive Shayne.
Chapter 9
Shayne
My uncle was in his office when I arrived. He had a cigarette in his mouth and was telling my aunt to start making the coffee.
I walked right in and sat down in front of him. “What’s goin’ on nephew? You fightin’ with your dad again?”
“When am I not? He can’t get off my ass. I’m tired of hearin’ his shit. Now he’s all about me bein’ responsible, but he doesn’t get how hard it is to manage twins.”
He put out his cigarette and blew the smoke to the side. “He’s just bein’ a dad, Shayne. We’re always hard on our sons.”
My aunt came in and kissed me on the cheek. “How are the twins?”
She looked so good, but every time I did see her, I thought about that night that we pulled her out of that crack house. That image would never be forgotten.
“They’re good. I swear they’ve grown a whole inch since we brought them home.”
“How’s Ashley?”
My uncle shook his head. Ashley wasn’t his favorite person, but my aunt wasn’t around for any of the drama, so she didn’t understand. “She’s doin’ alright. You know, we’re not gettin’ much sleep. Eli and Beka take turns in the middle of the night. I think it’ll be better once we get them on the same schedule. Right now it’s just hectic with me going back to work. Peyton’s comin’ over now to help Ash durin’ the day while I’m gone. I think that will help out a ton.”
“I agree. It was hard for me with one infant at a time. I give you props for havin’ two. On top of that, you’re in a new relationship. I don’t see how you two are making it look so easy.”
After years of being away from our family my aunt was back. Her sense of humor had come back with her, as well as her ability to the see the good in people. I appreciated that when I felt like the whole world was against me.
“Shayne, what brings you in here? What can I do for you today?”
“I was hoping that you would give me a job or point me in the direction of where I can go to get one.”
He tossed some trash into the can while laughing at my request. “You know you’re never going to leave that custom shop. Your dad’s built that business for you to take over, boy.”
“Like I said before, sir, I can’t deal with him anymore. I need a change.”
“If that’s what you really want, here’s someone that can probably help. Though, I don’t know how far you’ll get with him.”
I looked down at the card and saw a name I didn’t expect.
Ford Cooper
Vice President
I shook my head and sat the card down on the table. “That ain’t goin’ to work.”
He pushed it back towards me. “Take the card, Shayne. If you really want out, that’s the kind of company you need to get in with. You know just as much as Ford did when he started.”
“It’s not that easy. You know we ain’t talkin’.”
“Look, you two need to cut the shit. He’s moved on. You bein’ with that girl shouldn’t make a bit of difference. If she’s what you want none of us can stop ya. I’m just glad he got away from her. She wasn’t right for him.”
I got up feeling like I was going to punch my uncle. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
“Shayne, don’t get mad. That girl caused my son and daughter a lot of grief. I’m sorry if you don’t understand,
but I can’t ever forgive her for that. If you’re plannin’ a future with her, you need to be okay with that.”
I leaned on his desk and looked him right in the eye. “No matter what anyone thinks, I’m stayin’ with Ashley. We’re together now and there’s nothin’ that anyone can do about it. She’s a solid part of this family whether anyone accepts it or not. The twins have our blood runnin’ through their veins. That’s never goin’ to change.”
“Boy, I’m aware of that. It don’t change how I feel. Now, I’ll love those kids, but I can’t condone that girl being anything but a burden on this family.”
“Whatever!” I threw up my arms and walked out of the garage, avoiding saying anything else to my uncle.
I waved to my aunt before pulling away, stirring up a cloud of dust as I left.
I crumpled up Ford’s card and tossed it on the seat next to me, but soon reconsidered when I realized that I didn’t have a pot to piss in if I wanted to get away from my dad.
After I pulled over and tried to calm down, I realized I was sitting in front of the farmhouse that I’d dreamed of. All I kept thinking about was the twins and how I wanted them to have a good life. I didn’t want them running around in our tiny apartment, not when I had the means to buy them something nice. For what I was paying in rent, I could easily afford a house of my own.
Feeling like I had nowhere else to turn, I unfolded the paper and called my cousin.
“This is Ford.”
“Hey, it’s me, Shayne. You got a minute?”
“That depends what you want?”
I shook my head and leaned against the steering wheel. “Look, I know you hate me, and the fact that I’m with Ash, but I’m in a real bind.”
Remember Me Page 5
