I helped my family clean up and then walked outside to see them leave. My dad patted me on the shoulder and I couldn’t help but smile with his approval. “You’ve done real good, son. Just remember, if that fancy job doesn’t work out, you still have one with me.”
I laughed. “Dad, I think we get a long a lot better when we’re not in that environment. How about we keep things the way they are for while?”
“Your mother and I are proud of you, Shayne. You know, we’ve all known that girl for a long time. It was hard for us to be able to accept that you two were an item. Then when all the truth came out it made sense. What you’ve done for her, well she’ll never forget it. Your mom keeps cryin’ all the time, wonderin’ where we went wrong with your brother.”
I put my hands in my pockets. The mere mention of my brother pissed me off to no end. I loved him, but he cared about himself and not anyone else around him. He thought he knew everything, when really he was oblivious to the real meaning of life. “He’ll change. I did.”
“Yeah, maybe. We just never taught you kids to ignore your responsibilities, not that I’d ever condone him changin’ his mind about the twins. I know for a fact he’ll never do that.”
“I hope you’re right, because nothin’ is goin’ to take them away from me ever again.”
“Trust me when I say this, kid, that’s never goin’ to happen.”
I felt content with him assuring me, but the worry would never leave my mind completely. I knew what it was like to have them taken away from me. I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest, and longed for my little family to return to me. After her dad’s bullshit threats and him falsifying that protective order, I knew that I had enough leverage over him to keep him away. Parker was my only concern, and him being my brother made it all the more serious.
I headed back inside after watching my parents leave. Ford and Sky had been the first to head out on account of his parents taking them out to some Bull and Oyster Roast.
While Ash continued to speak with her mother, I helped my sister in the kitchen. She was drying off some dishes when I walked in. “Thanks for doin’ that.”
“I live here too, you know?”
“Really? Last time I checked you’d packed your stuff up,” I joked.
“Shut up. I’m here, ain’t I?” She’d actually been back for while, but I liked picking on her.
I kissed her on the head and started putting away the dishes, when we heard the sound of the walker making it’s way through the kitchen. “Mom just left. Eli’s asleep in the porta-crib.” I looked past Ash and crawling on the floor behind her was Beka, probably able to keep up pretty easy. I walked around Ash and scooped her up. Four teeth in the front of her mouth shined when she started giggling. “I still can’t get over how they’re gettin’ around.”
“I walked at nine months. That means that any time now they could be getting around on their feet. Then we’re in trouble.” Our chubby ten month olds were already getting into everything they could.
I heard her sobbing before I realized she was crying. After putting Beka back down, I took Ash into my arms. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve just missed out on so much. This isn’t like them visitin’ at the hospital. Seein’ them today, socializin’ and gettin’ around, it just makes me feel so left out. I’m sorry. I know I should be happy to be alive, but it still hurts a bunch.”
Peyton leaned against the counter and dried her hands. “Nobody expects you to be superwoman, Ash. We’re all here to support you.”
“Yep. And in time you won’t even remember bein’ without them. They’re goin’ to drive you crazy and then you’ll be callin’ our moms to come over and babysit.”
I wiped away her tears and kissed her tenderly on the nose. When I pulled away I had this knot in my stomach. The idea of her being next to me in bed overwhelmed me. It wasn’t a sexual kind of feeling. It was more like fulfillment. I’d done without for so long that the idea of being able to hold her while I slept seemed like it was going to be the greatest night’s sleep I’d ever had.
Her arms wrapped tightly around my back and we stood in an embrace.
“Get a room, geesh!” Peyton grabbed Beka and took her out into the living room, leaving me and Ash standing in the kitchen staring into each other’s eyes.
I brushed my thumb over her lips and she closed her eyes. “God, I missed this. I missed havin’ you home with me. You make everything feel right for me.”
She opened her eyes and leaned her head into my chest. “It’s good to be home. Thank you for this.”
My hands started moving up her shirt before I even realized it was happening. We touched while she was in the rehabilitation center. We’d made out and talked about having sex, but this intimate moment between us was different. We were in our home, finally alone, and desperate to get everything back that we thought was lost. “Are you ready to see the upstairs?”
She looked up at me and nodded. “Yes.”
I swooped her up into my arms and carried her, one step at a time.
We started in the twin’s rooms and that’s where the tears came back. Every single detail of their rooms had come from her ideas. When we got to Eli’s room and she saw the picture of the four of us, she asked to be let down. She touched the glass of the frame and traced our family with her fingers. “I can’t believe you did all of this for me, for us.”
“It was hard at times. I didn’t know where to be or what to do. For a while I didn’t even know if you were goin’ to make it. Then when you did wake up, you didn’t remember.”
“I can’t imagine what it was like for you.”
“I tried to kill myself,” I couldn’t believe that I’d admitted it to her. Through all of my struggles that was the biggest regret I had. “Before you say anything I need you to know what happened that night. I need you to know what made me want to fight even harder for you and the kids.”
“Shayne, I’m so sorry.” She cried harder, possibly feeling as if she was to blame for my actions.
“I went to the beach to clear my head. After hangin’ out with Boner all night I’d drank my share of alcohol. By the time I got in the water, I wasn’t feelin’ much physically. I just sat there staring out into the water and thinking about how I was never going to get you back. I was pissed at the world and felt alone, not because of you, but because everyone had let me down. They didn’t understand what it was like for me to live every single second of the day not knowing if you’d ever come back to me. Anyway, your dad had taken the twins and I just cracked. I went out into the ocean and let the waves start pulling me away from the shore. That girl Megan that I used to hang out with rushed in and saved me. I woke up in the same hospital as you, with vivid memories of you tellin’ me to never give up on us. I know they weren’t real, because you were just a few floors up, but it was real enough to let me know I had a reason to fight. Ash, I’ve never loved someone like I love you, and this experience made my feelin’s for you even stronger. I’m not tryin’ to make you cry, or sound like a sappy pussy, but I’m tellin’ you like it is.” I could feel warm liquid filling my eyes. I knew I was getting emotional talking about my experience, but it was necessary for her to know everything. “Oh, and don’t go gettin’ all mad that I was around Megan. Not only do I only have eyes for you, but she’s a total dyke now.”
She giggled, and I wondered if she thought Megan meeting me made her switch teams.
“Thank you for not givin’ up on us. I don’t know what I would have done if I finally remembered and I found out you were gone, Shayne. I wouldn’t have wanted to go on either. You’re the bravest man I know and I love you, too. I love you so much.”
I picked Ash up and sped up the tour, making it to our bedroom and sitting her down on the mattress. She covered her mouth with her hands as she took in everything I’d done to the room. “I can’t believe you did all of this.”
I held out my hand and helped her off the bed. She let me lead her, holding most
of her weight while she took one step at time. When we reached the master bathroom she gasped. The large soaking tub caught her eye and then she noticed the separate shower with the bench seat tiled into it. I’d installed handicapped bars, so that she could maneuver herself easily. Next to the toilet was another.
Ash turned to me with a big smile on her face. I figured she was going to thank me and ask to go back downstairs.
I was very wrong.
“Can we take a bath?”
“Right now?”
She nodded.
I leaned over and turned on the faucet, setting the plug before running down and telling my sister that we were going to be awhile. Beka had fallen asleep, so all she had to do was listen for either of them to wake up, not that I wasted any time waiting for her to reply, I ran up those steps as if there was a fire needing to be put out.
Ash was still leaning on the edge of the tub. I leaned over and placed a fast kiss on her lips before removing my shirt. She was still too fragile to assume that we’d be getting it on, but being close to her was the common goal at any rate.
Her top came off with ease and I unfastened her bra. She giggled when they fell free, raising her arms to cover herself. I pulled them away. “Don’t do that.”
“I’m nervous.”
“You’re beautiful.”
She touched her hair and leaned forward the look in the full size mirror over the vanity. “No, I’m not.”
Her hair, now in a pixie cut, was finally long enough to be able to style. To be honest, once it all grew in and covered her scalp, I thought she’d be okay about it. She looked adorable with short hair and it was easier for her to manage, especially to be able to wash and rinse. “Ash, you’re gorgeous. It’s just hair.”
“You’re just sayin’ that to get into my pants.”
I had to laugh. I really wasn’t thinking that at all, but the fact that she was being humorous made it all the more funny. I stuck my hand down her pants and reached beneath her underwear. She gasped and looked at me, shocked. “If I wanted to get into your panties, I’d do it.”
I pulled out my hand, but only to be able to tug down on her yoga pants. Her underwear went with them leaving me staring at something that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. My dick got hard and it wasn’t something I had any control of. As I finally stood there naked, she let out a laugh and pointed to my predicament. I smiled with pride. “It’s been a long time, baby. Don’t mind him, he’s just a little happy to see you.”
After climbing in the tub first, I helped her in, sitting her across from me. She let go of her breasts and her hands played in the water at the sides of her body.
It was difficult, almost torturous sitting so close to her with nothing on and trying to keep my composure. I pulled her close to me, kissing her before spinning her around and letting her back fall against my chest. From there we relaxed.
She stroked my legs with her hands, while I tried my hardest not to reach up and massage her supple breasts. “I could stay in here forever and be happy.”
“Me too,” she added.
I closed my eyes and finally, after so long waiting, felt complete again.
Chapter 32
Ashley
There are certain things in life that one would say you could never forget once you’ve done them before.
Speaking.
Walking.
Eating.
Riding a bike.
Making love.
I wish that were the case for all of those things, but it wasn’t at all. I’d been through so many strenuous sessions to learn how to do all of those things except for the last one. The doctor didn’t hand me a pamphlet on how-tos when I walked out the door. They didn’t warn me that over time I’d remember how wonderful something like that felt, but not know how to act or respond when it did happen.
Shayne was so gentle in the tub. He dampened a sponge and added a squirt of soap on it before sliding it down each of my arms. I felt it coaxing over each of my nipples and wondered if my body was going to flail out of the water like a fish. Words could not describe what it felt like to be touched there, lying naked against the man, who’d not only done so much for me, but loved me through the worst time of both of our lives. This wasn’t just an intimate moment between two lovers. It was as if he was exploring my body for the first time. When that sponge hit my nipples I jumped. Tiny sounds escaped my lips and I could feel this burning sensation between my legs like it was begging to be touched. While Shayne took his time, probably scared of what he could and couldn’t do to me, I let my floating body spin around to face him. He’d aged as a result of stress and the stubbles on his chin had tiny flecks of silver. I ran my fingers over it as my eyes focused on what was just above. Those lips flashed in my mind, going back to the first time we’d made love and even before it. I closed my eyes and pictured them tracing over my ready pussy.
More tiny moans escaped my breath. I opened my eyes and watched him watching himself wash me. The sponge lowered, nearing my navel and passing overtop of it. My body lifted reacting to the eagerness of what was about to happen. I felt it dragging roughly over my skin, sending shivers over my arms and fingertips.
His heavy breathing was letting me know that I wasn’t the only one feeling overwhelmed. “Shayne,” I closed my eyes and whispered. “Please don’t stop.”
Except he did, for only a second to lift me out of the water and sit me on the tub’s edge. He spread my legs and moved closer kissing the inside of one of my thighs. The crisp air hardened my nipples and I felt cold, but yet hot all at the same time. I watched my sexy man reach over and grab his razor off the sink, water dripping on the hard ceramic tile as he did it. I knew what his intentions were, but it didn’t make me less nervous.
Feeling a little self-conscious, I covered my sex with my hands and saw him smile. “Baby, I want you smooth again. Please, trust me. I’ve done this to you before.” His eyes seemed heavy as if being naked with me in the tub had made him drunk. I could relate, feeling almost woozy out of excitement.
So I watched him lathering me up, using his bare hands over my tender place. Watching him doing it was making me burn with desire and ultimately forget all about being out of the warm water. His stiff erection floated atop the water and I licked my lips looking down at it. Shayne stayed focused on his task. With light, gentle strokes he shaved my pussy, one inch at a time. My breathing increased so much that he backed away to check on me. “Is this too much?”
I managed to shake my head, but was unable to get any words to come out.
He went back to what he was doing, slowly moving that razor over my sensitive skin. I think he knew I was turned on, and that if he allowed his hand to go inside he’d be thrilled with my reaction to what he was doing. Instead he continued with the job at hand, taking such precision to the way he was doing it.
I watched his mouth reacting when he backed away and looked at what he’d done. While rinsing me off, his tongue drug over his lips, like he was starving for me. I could feel my legs trembling, knowing what was about to happen. Even looking down at my now naked muff turned me on more. “There she is,” he spoke to my pussy before closing in on it.
I wanted to watch his mouth making contact, but it was too much to handle. I closed my eyes and felt his lips on my soft skin. My hands dug into his hair as I felt his tongue licking me there. All of those feelings that I’d thought I’d forgotten were coming back to me, as my body eagerly cried out for whatever he wanted to give me.
I needed this man to hold me and make love to me as if no time has passed. I wanted to feel his body against my skin, and the heat that we created between us.
His tongue separated my lips and I could feel the warmth of it as it glided over my clit. I looked down to see him waiting for me to open my eyes and acknowledge what he was doing. The room began to spin as his lapping became vigorous. I leaned my head back against the tiled wall and cried out as my body shuddered against his mouth.
Shayne
continued licking me, tasting my musky orgasm as he moaned against my skin. He took my legs and pulled me back down in the tub, overtop of his body. I wasn’t prepared for his next kiss and the way I tasted myself on his tongue. He dove his face down over my neck and placed small kisses at the nape. I gasped feeling so much connection to him after not being intimate for so long.
His hard cock pressed on my sex, somehow sitting in the perfect position to enter me. Out of nowhere my body began to rock back and forth over it. Shayne’s eyes widened when he realized I was doing it from memory. He smiled and kissed me again, this time allowing our tongues to re-familiarize again and again. I didn’t know if I was supposed to be doing what we were doing, but I wasn’t about to tell him to stop.
Through all of therapy I’d learned relaxation techniques, but none had been as productive as what was happening to me. I wasn’t stressing my body, I was doing the opposite.
Shayne stopped, only for a moment to access what was about to happen. “We can wait.” He was almost panting and I knew that even though he’d stop if I asked him, it wasn’t what he wanted.
I answered him with another kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting my ass tease his erection again. He adjusted us and applied a small amount of pressure. It was tight, and even though we were in water, it felt uncomfortable. Shayne was kind, waiting a couple seconds and then trying again.
By the time he was all the way inside of me my body started to relax again. The pain turned to pleasure and I felt myself being swept away in a new kind of euphoria.
Time stood still after that.
It was hard to climb out of the tub when my body was still experiencing butterflies. Shayne climbed out first, wrapping a towel around his waist and then lifting me up and covering me. He carried me into our room and laid me on the bed. The towel opened and he climbed on top of me finally resting his body off to the side. His hands ran over my skin, while his lips kissed and sucked on one of my nipples. I wanted to do more for him, but knew I wasn’t able to yet. I don’t think he even cared, and if he did, he wasn’t complaining. Shayne’s focus was touching me and I wasn’t about to ask him to stop. We had a lot of making up to do, and I was at his mercy, for as long as he wanted me to be.
Remember Me Page 19
