by Paris Rose
“Yes?”
“I know you have a lot of work to do in the coming weeks, but I just came up with a great idea.”
“What is it?”
“How would you like to be my date to the Awards show this Sunday? I think it would be fun for you, and you’ll be able to meet some important people. What do you think?”
I didn’t have to think for long. “Yeah! Yes! I’m going to the Music Madness Awards…with you!” I squealed as I pointed dramatically at Christoff. I could not stop smiling.
“I knew that would cheer you up. I think you will really enjoy it. We’re nominated for a few awards and we’re performing. I’ll see if they will let you watch our part of the show from the side of the stage.”
“Oh my fucking goodness! That would be ridiculous!” I usually tried not to show Christoff all my cards, but there was no hiding my excitement about the Awards show.
We had a lot of great conversation over dinner. We talked for hours. I told Christoff about some of my most memorable interviews, and he shared stories about some of his favorite performances. I was captivated by every moment with Christoff, and I could tell he really liked having me around. I’ve liked guys before, and I have had guys like me, but I’ve never experienced the mutual magnetism that I shared with Christoff. He warned me several times that he doesn’t like to get too close too soon, because when he falls, he falls hard. And he begrudgingly opened up enough to admit that he wasn’t ready to get hurt again. I was similar to Christoff in that I had my own walls up. I was quite crazy about him, but I was nervous about how vulnerable I was allowing myself to become with him. He made me feel safe. I liked it, but it wasn’t something I was used to. It almost made me uncomfortable.
I started to withdraw, as I wrestled with my emotions. I literally couldn’t believe that the breathtaking rock star that I had been captivated by on television and on stage was now sitting on my couch being captivated by me. I connected so deeply to his music, and I was super intrigued by all of his interviews. For years I’d longed for the opportunity to meet him in person, look into his smoldering, cerulean blue eyes, and hear his melodic baritone voice speak directly to me, even if the only word he uttered was “hello.”
And now that and so much more was actually happening. I almost couldn’t wrap my head around it. I had actually been intimate with Christoff Diemacht Hartmann, and not just on a physical level. We were actually connecting on an emotional level as well, despite the fact that both of us were so desperately trying to keep our guard up. The idea was mind-blowing. Just being in Christoff’s presence made my body pulse with excitement. I almost couldn’t handle it. I nursed my cold miso soup as I tried to calm my racing thoughts. Christoff had gotten quieter as well. He seemed pensive, but then again, he always seemed like he had something on his mind.
Christoff startled me out of my thoughts by placing his hand on my thigh. It caused my body to jump. I hope he didn’t notice. “Gia, I need to ask you something. And I need you to be honest with me, okay?”
The seriousness in Christoff’s tone made my heart skip a beat. “Yes, what is it?” I asked timidly.
“I need to know if you are on some sort of birth control. You are taking something, right?”
“Well, isn’t it a bit late for that question?” I furrowed my brow in confusion.
“Yes. I’m usually much more careful, but with you…when you do what you do to me, I can’t even think straight. I’ve been kicking myself for being so reckless. Please tell me you’re on something.”
“Yes, Christoff. I’m taking birth control. I’m on the pill.” Christoff exhaled, but his features still looked tense.
“And you’re going to stay on it, right? You aren’t going to suddenly start forgetting to take it?” Christoff’s tone was slightly accusatory. It made my face flush.
“What are you asking me, Christoff? Do you think I would purposely try to get pregnant?” My voice came out in a high pitch that I didn’t recognize.
“Gia, don’t be upset. I didn’t mean it that way. It’s not personal, I just have to cover my own ass. You work in the media. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories about what girls try to do when they meet celebrities.”
“Yeah, but clearly I’m nothing like those girls, right? You don’t think I’m that way do you?” My voice quivered a bit even though I tried to stay calm.
“No Gia, of course not.” He put his arm around me and pulled me close. I hung my head and stared at the floor. This conversation was making me unreasonably uncomfortable. I felt tears well up in my eyes, but I choked them back. “Are you okay? I really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Gia.” Christoff’s tone was surprisingly gentle.
“I’ll be fine.” I tried to compose myself. “It’s just what you said reminded me of the things my family says to me. I barely even talk to them anymore. They don’t understand entertainment journalism. They don’t think it’s a real job. My mother insists that I’m not a real journalist. She says I’m just a starstruck groupie. And my older sister says the same thing, only she doesn’t use such PG-13 language. There is no way I would let myself get pregnant by a rock star. I’d never hear the end of it from them. They already think I’m some sort of frivolous groupie whore who doesn’t have a real career. If they knew what you and I were doing, they would think even less of me if that’s at all possible.” I was on the brink of tears, but somehow I held myself together.
Christoff pulled me into his lap and stroked my hair. “Well, what do your parents do for a living? And what does your sister do?”
“My sister sells real estate in Florida, and she’s married to some hot shot attorney. My parents are so proud of her, and they never let me forget it. My mom works in the housekeeping department for a hotel and my dad is a mechanic. They live back home in Ohio.”
“They must be proud of you for finishing college and moving to the big city on your own. I actually heard about you before we even met. You’re only twenty-six, and you’ve already had quite the impressive career. There is no way they aren’t proud of you.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I was the mistake baby. My sister was planned, but they didn’t want another child. My whole life my parents told us how they couldn’t afford two children. We didn’t have much growing up, and by the time I was fifteen they told me anything I wanted I had to buy myself. And both my sister and I know that my parents expect us to make enough money to take care of them when they get older.” I sighed.
“No need to have a heavy heart over it. A lot people grow up without a lot of money. And everything actually worked out for you. I can tell you worked hard all your life. You came out to be such a strong and independent woman. You’re like superwoman. You are clearly unbreakable.” Christoff’s words soothed my soul and made me feel confident inside. I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder in gratitude.
“What about you? I bet your family is really proud of you. You never talk about them in interviews though. Are they really private or something?”
I felt Christoff’s body tense, as he pulled me closer in his arms. “I actually haven’t seen or heard from my family since I was eighteen. Last month it was exactly ten years since I’d spoken to them.”
“Oh…are they still alive?” I asked hesitantly.
“I don’t know. I’d like to think so. I moved out when I was seventeen. I was really close with my siblings when I was younger. I have two little brothers. One is four years younger than me, the other is six years younger than me. My father passed away when I was thirteen. He was really creative and he taught me everything I know about music. When he passed away it was hard on all of us, but my mother took it the hardest. She went into a deep depression and was unable to really take care of us after we lost him. So I became the man of the house and took care of her and my little brothers until I turned sixteen.”
“That must have been tough, being so young. I’m sorry.” I caressed Christoff’s back.
“It was hard, but I got used to it and did wh
at I had to. But everything went to shit when my mother got remarried.”
“Did you not get along with your step dad?”
“That would be an understatement. I don’t really like to talk about him. In fact I’ve never talked about this to anyone aside from my bandmates. But my stepfather was not a good man. He was violent toward me and my siblings. I tried to protect them and my mother, but there was nothing I could do. My mother eventually gave my younger brothers away to foster care to protect them. By that time, I was seventeen so no one wanted me. So I got a job at a factory and moved out on my own in what was formerly known as East Berlin. I tried to keep in contact with my mother, and I did for a while, but my stepfather didn’t let that last for long. After I turned eighteen, I never saw her or my siblings again.”
I was stunned by Christoff’s story. I couldn’t believe that he had endured so much, and yet he was the one comforting me. I wanted to comfort him in return, but I didn’t know how. I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into his piercing sapphire-blue eyes. I couldn’t quite read his expression, but I thought I saw a trace of emotional discomfort. “Christoff, I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
After a brief silence, Christoff cleared his throat. “It’s okay. I’m at peace with everything that happened. It took a long time to get there but I’m okay now. If it wasn’t for the music industry I don’t know where I’d be today. I’ve always found solace in music, both other people’s work and in making my own. I had played and sung in bands since I was a teenager. It was my only means of escape from what was going on at home. But when I moved out, I started looking at my music as more of a career than a form of escapism. I would work the early morning shift at the factory, go to band rehearsal in the late afternoon, then work another night shift at the factory. If I ever had a day off, I would use it to write. I was so busy making a living and trying to make it in the music business, I didn’t really have time to break down over everything that happened. But the times when I did hit rock bottom I would listen to my favorite bands, and as strange as it sounds I found peace in their pain. I enjoy really dark music. It’s always been cathartic for me.”
I nodded and embraced Christoff. There were no words to express how much I understood what he was saying. Although my story wasn’t as tragic as his, I was similar to him in that I always found peace in music. When I was younger and my parents made me feel unwanted, I found a deep sense of comfort in my favorite albums. Even though back then I had no idea that one day I would be meeting some of my favorite musicians face-to-face, I developed an intimate connection with all of my favorite artists through their records and interviews. I felt like the artists, especially in the metal and hard rock genres, really got me. Christoff’s band Aus Deutschland was no exception. His work really resonated with me. His music has always been a part of me since I discovered it back in college. And now I knew why. Even though we hadn’t met until now we had been connected all along.
* * *
I sat silently cradled in his arms for a long time. I felt honored that Christoff had opened up to me and trusted me with secrets from his past, and I felt strangely comfortable and safe, despite the fact that I had so ungracefully let my walls down in front of him. I didn’t want to pry myself out of his arms, but it was a work night, and I needed to get to bed. “Well, it’s getting late. I should probably get ready for bed so that I can be to work in the morning.” I attempted to stand up, completely forgetting about my ankle. I winced in pain, but Christoff caught me before I hit the ground. He gently laid me back on the couch.
“Maybe you should call off tomorrow and let your ankle heal,” Christoff suggested. I grimaced at the thought of missing work but I knew Christoff was right. “Could you work from home?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I actually got so much work done today that I don’t have a ton of work to do tomorrow anyway.” I dug my phone out of my purse and left my boss a voicemail, telling him I needed to work from home tomorrow because I had injured my ankle. He texted me back shortly after, telling me to rest and to take the weekend to heal. He told me I could work from home on Monday too if I needed it. Awesome.
“Is it okay if I hang out here tonight, so that I can be around tomorrow, in case you need help getting around the apartment?” Christoff asked. I was pleased that Christoff wanted to be near me. And even though I didn’t want to be needy, I wouldn’t mind getting help around the apartment tomorrow. My sprained ankle made me pretty immobile.
“Sure, I would like that.” I smiled.
Christoff helped me get out of my dress and into a comfy satin nightie. He even let me prop myself against him while I brushed my teeth. He was my rock. He laid me down under the covers before stripping down to nothing. I admired the flawlessness of his chiseled body. It had been too long since I had actually seen Christoff totally nude. It was a sight to be seen. His arms were so strong and masculine and his chest and shoulders were fit and broad. My gaze traveled down his body to his thighs. They were massive and perfectly toned. I stole a glance at his rising manhood before I became so overwhelmed that I had to look away. My entire body ached for him.
“You look amazing Christoff,” I whispered as he shut off the lights.
“You are amazing Gia,” Christoff said quietly as he climbed in bed behind me. I think he was surprised by his own unguarded sincerity. Christoff wasn’t one to be overly sentimental or sweet, but his words warmed my heart.
Christoff slid up behind me and pressed his body into me as he began softly kissing my neck. I could feel him harden against my back. His kisses made me feel warm and tingly inside. He peeled off my nightie and massaged my entire body with firm, deep strokes and soft, sensuous kisses that made me moan with delight. Just as I felt like I was going to explode with anticipation, he slowly penetrated me from behind. My body welcomed his. I melted into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tighter with every thrust.
The pleasure was indescribable. He grunted softly in my ear each time he entered me. The sound of his satisfaction always titillated me, but tonight the way the bass in his baritone voice reverberated through my body almost drove me mad. He continued to pleasure me with slow, rhythmic thrusts. I enjoyed the way his thick German hardness filled me up completely. I felt an overwhelming warmth start at my core and radiate through every fiber of my being. It felt like my body was melting into a pool of liquid pleasure. My legs quivered as I wrapped them around his. I could feel his body tremor with excitement as well.
“Mmmm, you feel so good right now. I don’t want this to ever end,” Christoff murmured in my ear.
“Yeah, me neither.” I let out a breathy whisper. My heart fluttered and my core tightened as the sound of his voice and the warmth from his body sent me completely over the edge. I softly called out Christoff’s name as I became lightheaded with pleasure. I felt his heartbeat wildly in his chest, and he let out a deep sensual groan as he exploded soon after me, with a long, deep thrust. We interlocked fingers, and he squeezed both my hands as we came down together. He kissed me on my cheek before we slowly drifted off to sleep, with our bodies still intertwined.
Chapter 5
I woke up, feeling Christoff gently shake me out of my slumber. “Gia, I know you’re not going to be happy if you sleep in too late and don’t get any work done. Wake up, it’s almost 10 AM.”
I was groggy. The busy week had finally caught up to me, but I wanted to get some work done so I could enjoy the rest of the weekend guilt free.
“I need a shower,” I mumbled.
“Not on that ankle. I’ll draw you a warm bath. I don’t want you to slip in the shower.”
I sat up in bed and opened my mouth to object, but Christoff gave me a look that indicated that any objections would be fruitless. I lay back down, defeated. “I’ll come get you when it’s ready,” Christoff insisted.
“Okay,” I responded as I curled up under the covers.
Christoff turned and started out of the bedroom.
“Christoff,” I called after him.
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Christoff replied coolly. I thought I saw the faint hint of a smile on his lips. I closed my eyes and reveled in how lucky I was.
Christoff dutifully got me in and out of the bathtub, and he quietly helped me get dressed before depositing me on the couch with my laptop. He said that he was going back to his hotel to get his things and that he would come back and spend the day with me. He assured me that he would stay out of my way while I did my work, and he would just be on standby to help me get around the apartment. I couldn’t refuse. I liked having him around.
I got a couple of articles written while Christoff was gone. He took my key, so I didn’t have to get up to let him in when he returned. When he came back, he had all of his belongings and a bag from the drugstore.
“I brought you an Ace bandage and some ibuprofen so that you won’t have to be so immobile.” He placed the bag on the coffee table.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“But I wanted to.” He wrapped my ankle for me, and I was actually able to walk around a bit. Perhaps Christoff was a doctor in a past life.
Christoff sat and read silently, while I continued working for a few hours. I enjoyed how we could be comfortable in each other’s silence. I finally reached a point where I could put my laptop away for the next couple of days. I backed up all of my files and shut down my computer. I glanced over at Christoff. He was absorbed in his book. He looked so studious. It turned me on. I was curious about the book he was reading. It was called Dante’s Inferno. I had heard of it, but never read it.
“Hey, what’s that you’re reading?”
“Dante’s Inferno. It’s a part of the epic poem the Divine Comedy. It’s an allegory about the soul’s evolution through hell, purgatory, and heaven.”
“Wow. That sounds intriguing and complex. What made you want to read that?”
