Her throat tightening in despair, she looked away. "But… he is just a boy. I couldn't bear it if something happened to him and I was to blame."
"Then you should allow me to determine the safest way for him to explore his ambition."
When she wouldn't reply, Nicholas tilted her face back to his with a light touch of his fingers. "You said you trusted me."
She returned his gaze helplessly. His eyes were deep and quiet and searching, the strong planes of his face intent.
Aurora swallowed convulsively as pain congealed in her chest like a deep bruise. "I do trust you," she whispered.
His face softened, while his thumb brushed her lower lip with a featherlight pressure. At his gentleness, she blinked, and a tear slid down her cheek.
Closing her eyes, she brushed her cheek with the back of her hand. Crying never solved anything. Tears were useless in stopping the pain.
And yet she couldn't help herself. A sob escaped her, followed by another. And suddenly she couldn't stop.
When she felt Nicholas's arms come around her, she turned her face to his shoulder and wept as all the tension of the past day – indeed, all the dark emotions of the past year, fear, grief, loss – came pouring out.
Her body shook in racking sobs while the tears came. Nicholas simply held her, cradling her trembling body in his arms.
When finally her tears subsided, Aurora realized she was lying on the bunk with him, her head pressed into the curve of his neck. His hand gently stroked her hair as she clung to him, and she could feel the night stubble on his jaw grazing the softer skin of her cheek.
Eventually she took a deep, quavering breath. "I am sorry…" she murmured, her voice husky from crying.
"Don't be." His lips brushed against her temple. "Here."
He drew a snowy handkerchief from his pocket and used it to wipe away the dampness from her face.
Aurora lay unresisting for his ministrations, like a child. She hadn't the energy or the will to move.
"You were right," she murmured. "I am a coward."
"No," Nicholas replied softly. "But you've let fear rule you for too long."
She sighed when his warm lips touched her eyelids. She wanted to lie like this forever, safe in Nicholas's arms, pressed against his hardness, his warmth, sheltered and protected and cherished.
The intimacy of their embrace, however, had a starkly different effect on Nick. When Aurora nestled closer, he went still, his heartbeat quickening and deepening. Awareness of her flooded his senses, while a wave of longing hit him, colliding with the breath he was trying to take.
He wanted to comfort her. Wanted to ease her fear, her sadness, to erase that anguish and despair from her beautiful face. But even more, he wanted her.
Almost involuntarily, his lips began moving upon her flushed face, savoring the velvety texture of her soft skin. When she stirred against him, an ache started deep in his groin like a lick of fire.
Nicholas drew a steadying breath, struggling for control as hunger shuddered through his body. How had it happened, this deep and powerful need of her? He couldn't deny it any longer…
Urgently he molded her soft lips to fit his, desire flaring through his senses as he took her mouth. She gave a soft murmur of protest at his sudden move, yet he kept up his tender assault and felt a surge of triumph when her mouth turned hot and pliant under his.
Then suddenly she drew back, her palms pressing against his chest. Her breath came in soft pants as she regarded him, her blue eyes wide with dismay.
Nicholas drew a sharp breath, struggling to check his savage need. She wanted him, he knew. When he touched her throat, he could feel the wildness of her pulse.
"I intend to make love to you, Aurora," he warned hoarsely, his voice raw with desire. "If you want me to stop, then tell me now."
He lay still, waiting, drawn as tight as a bowstring. His loins were full and aching for her, his heartbeat like an anvil in his chest. Yet it had to be her decision this time.
Aurora stared into his eyes, drowning in the sheer intensity of the dark depths. She didn't want his lovemaking, his passion, and yet she couldn't fight his tenderness, the stirring kisses that were so sweet and so fierce. She no longer had any defenses against him.
Mutely she shook her head, knowing the sweet torment of defeat. A desperate longing welled up within her, the need to touch him, to feel him deep inside her.
"I don't want you to stop," she whispered. Reaching up, her fingers curled in the waving thickness of his silky hair.
"Please," she added helplessly. "Make love to me, Nicholas."
Chapter Eighteen
He offered the haunting promise of paradise, if I but had the courage to grasp it.
He undressed her slowly, wanting her with a need so powerful it made him shake. She was still shy about her body, and he ached with the effort to be gentle.
When Aurora stood naked before him, he pulled the pins from her hair one by one, and let the shining mass cascade down over her bare shoulders. Her nipples were erect, her skin pale gold in the flickering lamplight, her legs long and slender.
She seemed to have no idea how beautiful she was, Nicholas thought reverently, or how exquisitely sensual. Her features mirrored the wanting, the longing, he felt; her blue eyes were dark with yearning.
"Aurora," he murmured hoarsely as he took her mouth. Hunger ran rampant through him as he kissed her, a slow, deep, claiming kiss, parting her lips and thrusting his tongue within her welcoming warmth, searching out her secrets. Exultation filled him when he felt a shiver of desire surge through her. He wanted her hot and wild, burning for him… and yet he forced himself to restrain his dire urgency. This was a moment to savor. He intended to love her slowly, completely. To make it last.
Steeling himself, he broke off the kiss and stepped back to shed his own clothing.
Watching, Aurora drew a sharp breath at the magnificence of Nicholas's aroused body. He was so intensely male, his form sculptured and shadowed with bronze in the lamplight. But it was his gaze that held her spellbound.
She saw stark longing in his eyes; she saw need, raw and bold, as he came to her. His fingers glided gently over her bare shoulders, then lower, over the curve of her rib cage, her waist. Then his hands slid down over her hips, pulling her against him. She felt his hot, throbbing maleness against her.
"See what you do to me?" he asked softly. "Can you feel the fire raging in my loins?"
Not letting her answer, he bent to her breast, and the coolness of the night air against her bare skin gave way to the scorching heat of his mouth.
At the softest lash of his tongue, she quivered. When he suckled gently, her fingers dug into his shoulders and clung.
Her soft whimper only aroused him more fully. Nick clenched his jaw, remembering his violence when he'd taken her yesterday. His need was no longer so frantic this time. The frenzied, explosive desire had tempered. Instead he was filled with the longing to share tenderness, to express it.
He sank to his knees before her, rubbing a whiskered cheek on the inside of her thigh. Aurora went rigid as he inhaled her scent.
Ignoring her quiet gasp of protest, he bent forward to probe the delicate, petal-like folds of her womanness, letting his tongue find her ripeness.
Her knees nearly buckling beneath her, she clutched at his hair, but he had no intention of stopping. His hands held her hips still for the unrelenting caress of his tongue. Her hair tumbled in gold tangles around them as he continued savoring, exploring, claiming in long, slow strokes.
Aurora moaned with longing, arching against his clever mouth. It was torture, his infinite tenderness slaking one hunger, his sensuality creating another.
"Nicholas, please…" she pleaded.
Obliging, his lips pressed against her fully as his tongue delved deep. A jolt of flame ran from him into her body, searing her, and she quaked in fierce need.
His hoarse whisper seemed far away. "Yes, be on fire for me…"
An
other racking shudder convulsed her, and then she couldn't remain still. Shaking, she cried out as the tremors overtook her. Her legs gave way bonelessly, and she would have fallen had Nicholas not risen and caught her trembling body.
"Enough…" she murmured helplessly.
Desire was bold in his eyes, and so was dark intensity as he replied huskily. "No, angel. We've only just begun."
He kissed her as if he'd found something fragile, precious, then turned with her to the bed. His mouth still covered hers when he bore her down to the mattress.
Primal awareness shimmered through Aurora as he knelt above her and began his sensual assault all over again. His touch was warm, his mouth magical as it moved over her body, kissing her everywhere. She gave herself up to the sensations his touch elicited. She had never felt such sweet, aching tenderness, such intimate beauty.
He was so strong and so gentle, his caresses so soft. He held his power under careful control, his lips skilled and slow, and she could feel his caring.
She stirred beneath him, feeling a fierce, restless, feminine need. His touch was possessive and adoring, soothing and arousing, offering comfort and torment at the same time.
A feverish sound escaped her throat. She was drowning in desire…
She pleaded with him again, but it seemed an eternity before he at last seemed to hear her.
His eyes fierce with tenderness and intent, he covered her with his body. Urgently Aurora raised her arms to draw him closer to her, reveling in the feel of him, of his weight pressing her down, of his maleness, hard and aroused between them.
He checked himself there for a moment, though, his arms holding his weight lightly above her as he gazed down into her eyes. "Do you know how many times I've dreamed of this?" he demanded, his whisper wild and low. "Having you in my arms again, all beauty and fire."
His eyes were passion-black, waiting.
"I have dreamed of you, too," Aurora whispered shakily.
It was all the answer Nicholas seemed to need. He slid slowly, deeply within her, into the clenching tightness of her. Aurora gave a ragged sigh at the relief of having him finally part of her.
He paused for a moment, letting her grow accustomed to the swollen, rigid fullness. Her flesh throbbed as he slowly withdrew.
The second strong thrust of his hips forced him so deeply inside her, she gasped. Smiling tenderly, Nicholas reached down, pulling her hips up higher so that he could fill her even more completely. It was the most exquisite sensation she had ever experienced – being one with him.
Aurora's head fell back on the pillow. She couldn't think, she could only feel. The desire he'd awakened with his touch was so alive, so vibrant, like a flame burning inside her.
He began to move then, with quiet haste, as if he felt the same flame. Her hands moved blindly over his hard-muscled body as he increased the rhythm, burying himself deeper and harder into her welcoming body. Pleasure sharpened, and sharpened still more, swelling to a bursting point.
Nicholas found himself seared by the same urgency as she, the same primitive, powerful need. His breath quickened against her throat as his hips thrust even more forcefully. He tried to remember to be gentle, but the thought faded along with his control as the silken wave of desire gripping Aurora swept over him.
The explosion, when it came, dragged them both under. He caught her moans of ecstasy with his mouth as the pulsing spasms shaking his body rippled into hers, along with his release.
When he collapsed against her, tenderness was such an ache within him, he trembled with it. At length, he weakly rolled to his side and folded her against his chest.
For a long while, Nick lay there shaken, still pulsing with the powerful aftershocks, his thoughts in turmoil. There was a name for the fierce and overwhelming tenderness he was feeling, he realized. Love. He loved Aurora. Sweet heaven…
Nicholas squeezed his eyes shut, torn between wanting to curse and pray.
It was a staggering acknowledgment. Love had never entered his calculations in any other relationship. Always before he had been able to leave with no regrets, to walk away heart-whole. He'd never been in danger of succumbing to love, never been even remotely tempted by the possibility. He'd thought himself impervious to the soul-deep kind of emotion his father had once experienced.
Yet that was before he met Aurora. Her lush loveliness had entranced him from the first – but her appeal went far beyond mere beauty or sensual allure. From the beginning, her kindness, her quiet strength, her fierce protectiveness had won his respect, and his feelings had only grown from there. The more he knew her, the more he'd wanted her. She'd given him tantalizing glimpses of the captivating, passionate woman she kept hidden from the world. It was that unforgettable woman who made him burn, who set his blood and heart afire…
"Are you all right?" he asked after a while.
Her answer was a murmured sigh of pleasure.
Reaching for the blanket at the foot of the bunk, Nicholas drew it up to cover their nakedness. Then absently he pressed a kiss against her silken hair and gathered her closer, his senses distracted by the wonderful, frightening refrain ringing in his head. I love her. I love her…
Again and again he turned the stunning thought over in his mind, before finally allowing himself another reflection. So what in hell's name am I to do about it? How did he convince Aurora to be his wife when she had fought him every step of the way?
One night would never be enough to satisfy the hunger in his soul. He wanted Aurora for his wife. She belonged in his bed, in his life. Their unlikely marriage had been forged by a twist of fate, but he wanted it to be real.
He wanted the right to acknowledge the passion he felt for her. He wanted to lose himself in the hot silk of her body each night and wake up beside her each morning. He wanted to build a future with her, to have children…
Nicholas went very still, wondering if his seed had taken root. Twice in as many days he had loved her without taking any measures to prevent conception. If he'd given her a child, then Aurora would have no choice but to accept their marriage, for she wouldn't be able to weather the scandal alone.
Mentally, Nick shook his head. The thought of Aurora bearing his child filled him with wonder and delight, but the choice had to be hers. He fervently wanted her as his wife, but she had to come willingly. Because she loved him. Because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Not because she was forced to. The next time they made love, he vowed, he had to be certain to take precautions.
Yet would there even be a next time? He knew what he wanted, but what did Aurora want?
She didn't return his feelings, he knew that well enough. He was the antithesis of what she considered an ideal husband. And she was still in love with a damned ghost. Given enough time, perhaps he could change her affections, but he was running out of time.
That was what he needed – time. Time alone with Aurora. Time to break through her defenses. To convince her to give their marriage a chance. To show her that the desire they shared could ripen into something real and lasting. To kindle her passion until her feelings were so fierce and overwhelming, she could deny them no longer.
That was the only way he knew to reach her, through physical intimacy. Each time they touched, her defenses crumbled a little more, the hunger he aroused in her grew stronger.
And physical passion could lead to love. It had happened in the Frenchwoman's journal. It could happen with Aurora. No, it would happen, Nicholas vowed.
He didn't intend to give up his pursuit without doing everything in his power to win her. His father had lost the love of his life, and Nick refused to spend the rest of his days yearning for what might have been.
He raised a hand to touch her cheek with the lightest of pressures. "Are you awake?"
Stirring, she tilted her face to gaze up at him. "Yes," she murmured, her blue eyes slumberous and sensual.
Tenderly he brushed back the cloud of hair from her flushed face. She was so hauntingly beautiful
… He wanted her again, more powerfully than before, a craving that went beyond the physical.
Still, he couldn't simply blurt out his feelings. He doubted Aurora would believe any sudden confessions of love – indeed, he had difficulty believing it himself. His uncertainty left him feeling uncommonly vulnerable.
He couldn't tell her yet. He would have to bide his time, would have to show her how deeply he felt, with more than mere words.
"There is something I need to discuss with you," he said finally, struggling to keep his tone casual. "I am considering whether or not to leave London."
He felt her body tense. "What do you mean, leave?"
"I thought I would go to the country for a time. You're right. After encountering so many people who recognize me, the risk of discovery is too great. Clune has offered me the use of his house in Berkshire." Nicholas paused, taking a deep breath. "I want you to come with me, Aurora."
She sat up slowly, clutching the blanket to her breasts. "Come with you?" she repeated faintly.
"Yes. I want us to be together."
The troubled look was back in her eyes as she gazed down at him. "We are together now."
"Not the way we should be. As things are now, I'm relegated to acting the thief, stealing a few private moments alone with you, having to skulk around to enjoy any intimacy with my wife. I want to be able to kiss you without worrying about creating a scandal. To hold you and make love to you and wake up with you in my arms."
"Nicholas… we have been over this before. I don't want to be your wife."
He held her gaze steadily. "You cannot deny that you want me, not after the passion we just shared."
The distress in her eyes was evident. "That doesn't change anything. We are still completely wrong for each other."
"How can you be so sure? We have never truly put the question to the test. Our marriage was never given a fair chance to succeed. I want that chance, Aurora. And you owe it to yourself if not to me."
When she made no reply, he went on in a low voice. "We have very little time left. I cannot stay in England much longer. But before I leave, I have to be certain that we are not right for each other. We should prove it to ourselves, one way or the other."
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