by Anne Hampson
‘Shani.’ Her husband’s voice came to her and she dropped her hands.
‘Yes?’
‘Come and help me. I have no idea what to do with this
steak. ’
Mechanically she moved, entering the kitchen. She seemed to be in a trance, hating her husband and yet acutely aware of her recent admission that the continual intrusion of Andreas into her mind was, to say the least, disturbing.
‘It’s frozen,’ she murmured, picking up the plate of meat.
‘We’ll have to wait until it thaws.’ He glanced at the clock. ‘There’s plenty of time, I suppose, but can’t it be put in the oven as it is?’
She nodded. How utterly unreal this situation was! And how could she have come to accept it, neither fighting him physically nor wounding with her tongue? Fighting him physically ... ? Not much would be gained by an attempt at that, she owned swiftly, seeing those strong and sinewed hands as they worked skilfully and untiringly to save a life.
‘It would cook eventually, yes,’ she agreed, lifting her eyes to his and finding only softness there.
‘Come, then, do your stuff with the onions and other vegetables. ’
Suddenly her eyes flashed.
‘I’ve said I’m not hungry!’
‘You will be, when you smell the cooking. Here are the carrots and - now let me see - yes, I told Agni to get me a cauliflower. At least, it was on the list I read out to the Muktar. It must be around somewhere. ’
‘You’re very efficient,’ she retorted with sarcasm. ‘One must eat, my dear.’ His dark eyes laughed at her and she turned her back on him. But she prepared the vegetables and soon the casserole was in the oven. She stood by the stove, amazed at her own docility. Yet what sense was there in antagonizing her husband? The ordeal had to be endured, she was quite resigned to that - so why invite trouble for herself by inflaming Andreas?
And so she ate the meal, even though at times the food
choked her. And when she had cleared away the dishes and washed them, Andreas took her unresistingly into his arms, just holding her at first as if content with the nearness of her.
‘I never intended it to be like this, my Shani,’ he said after a while. ‘I searched for you, hoping that when I found you I’d be able to persuade you to come to me willingly, to live with me and be my wife. But instead you immediately asked for your freedom so that you could marry someone else.’ He paused broodingly. ‘During the holiday - I hoped—’ He broke off, holding her away from him and looking rather sadly into her eyes, but he did not continue. What had he been about to add? With a flash of memory she heard him saying, ‘And if, when this holiday is over you still want an annulment.... ’
If? So he had cherished hopes that by the end of the holiday she would no longer want her freedom. What a strange man he was! Had she not been sure that his only aim was possession she could almost have believed he cared for her. But she was sure his only aim was possession.
‘You actually hoped for docile surrender?’ She looked scornfully at him. ‘That you will never bring about. By a detestable threat you forced me into marriage and by a trick you’ve at last managed to achieve your desire. But I’ll never be yours, never. ’
Strangely, he answered that in quiet and gentle tones.
‘You’ll be mine, Shani; just for this one night you’ll be all my own. I know you’ll hate me, but I’m not letting you have that annulment-- ’
‘So you admit at last that I can get it? You said only you were in a position to do so, while all the time knowing I had only to relate the circumstances of the marriage and I’d have had no trouble at all. ’
To her surprise he remained unmoved by the interruption, merely saying,
‘I haven’t admitted anything of the sort. I still maintain that only I can annul the marriage.’ He frowned at her, a trifle puzzled. ‘You know very well that only I can annul the marriage. You’ve discussed it with—’ He broke off, gritting his teeth. ‘Why all this talk? As I’ve said, after tonight there will be no question of a breakup of our marriage. ’
She was outside in the garden when Andreas came from the house. The mountain air, warned by being drawn through the valley, was nevertheless fresh and clear, and heady with the scent of pines. She fingered her wrist, absently, then frowned. For some inexplicable reason she had decided to wear her bracelet, Andreas’s wedding present to her. It was on the dressing-table; she must remember to get it. A bird swooped into the valley and she watched it, her mind naturally filled with recent dramatic events.
‘Just for one night you’ll be all my own. I know you’ll hate me,’ her husband had said, in tones edged with sadness, and she fully expected to discover the truth of those last words of his. But did she hate him? All her confusion returned as she recalled again her doubts, her bewilderment whenever her husband’s image intruded into her mind.
He came towards her and she turned, wondering that he could look the same, his face so set and stern, his eyes cold and hard as steel. What did she herself look like? She had combed her hair without even glancing in a mirror. She knew her face was flushed, her eyes bright with a new awareness. She also knew that the heart that should have been cold with hate was beating far too quickly, creating a warmth that suffused her whole body. Her husband regarded her for a moment, taking in her heightened colour and the nervous little movement of her hands. But he made no comment on these things as he said, in tones of faint admonition,
‘I expected my breakfast to be on the table when I came from the bathroom. Instead, I find you standing on the terrace here, dreaming. ’ No tenderness, just a matter-of-fact tone that might have come from a man, married for years.
‘I’ll get you something.’ Faintly embarrassed, she lowered her head as she passed close by him. ‘Do you want a cooked breakfast? I saw bacon and eggs in the fridge.’
He shook his head.
‘Not for me; just coffee and toast, with a little marmalade. You have what you want. ’
She moved away, amazed that he could be so impersonal and aloof. He acted as though she was nothing more to him than any casual acquaintance. They ate the meal on the terrace, even though clouds masked the sun, stealing its warmth. No words were spoken and Shani wondered what her husband was thinking. Was he convinced of her hate? -believing the truth of his own bitter words? Should she tell him of her bewilderment? Should she own that the hatred she had felt for him had been slowly dissolving, and that now it had almost disappeared?
How could she, knowing he did not love her?
And yet on the way back to the hospital she did try to open a conversation so that she could tell him of her feelings, but each time he responded in monosyllables and at last she fell silent, deciding a more favourable opportunity would later present itself.
On their arrival at Loutras he was immediately told he was required at the hospital in Nicosia. He explained to Matron about running out of petrol and being stranded on the mountain.
‘We put up at an hotel,’ was all the information he gave, and the next moment he was gone. Shani later learned that he had gone from Nicosia to Athens, where he would stay for two or three weeks, completing the holidays due to him.
The following evening Shani tried to ring Brian, but, he was on duty; she tried again on Thursday evening, with the same result. Would he be up at the weekend? she wondered. She hoped so. The sooner her confession was made the better. About this she now had few qualms. The light had been dawning since Brian’s unkindness on the occasion of her telling him about her marriage. Gradually since then she had come to realize that life with him would not be the smooth path of bliss she had at first envisaged. Perhaps she was too idealistic, perhaps disillusionment would be hers whichever, way she shaped her life. What was to come would come ... but at least she could start right. Her thoughts switched automatically to Andreas, and to her own surprising reaction to his planned victory over her. Hatred and vowed unforgiveness should have been her all-consuming emotions; instead she had fo
und herself enveloped in a new wonderment, for although Andreas did not love her he had proved to be a gentle lover whose tenderness had come as a complete surprise to Shani, steeling herself as she had for the embraces of a man unbridled and lacking in finesse. Surely she thought, he could not win her by lovemaking alone? This was no basis on which to build a lasting marriage— Staggered by her contemplations, Shani tried to forget that night and get back to the realms of sound common sense, putting from her any idea of making her life with that dark foreigner who even now was little more than a stranger.... She shook her head. How could he be a stranger to her when he was her husband in every sense of the word?
Brian came on the Friday evening, ringing her from Nicosia, saying he would meet her at the taverna which they both favoured, not only because of its position near the sea, but also because it was surrounded by palm trees and pines, giving it a sort of romantic seclusion. Hardly the place in which to impart her news, decided Shani as she chose a table outside the cafe. Soon Brian drove on to the car park, sending up a cloud of dust that settled on the snow-white tablecloth. Although perplexed by his air of triumph and the definite swagger with which he approached the table Shani was totally unprepared for the information she was shortly to receive.
He wasted no time but, sitting down opposite to her, he said in ringing tones,
‘I’ve settled him! Did Manou mention anything to you about my phone call?’
‘Phone call?’ A trembling hand fluttered to Shani’s cheek. ‘You rang Andreas? What about?’
‘The annulment! I saw a lawyer at the base and he said it was right that your husband was the injured party - or would be considered so. I therefore decided to treat him to a dose of his own medicine. I told him that if he didn’t annul the marriage in quick time I’d expose him - tell the world what he’d done to you! How about that, my love? Proud of your clever young man?’ His handsome face was flushed with satisfaction. All Shani could do was stare, aghast.
‘You actually held a gun at my - at Andreas’s head?’ she quivered at last.
‘He held one at yours, all those years ago, so why not?’ He laughed at her expression, misreading it. ‘A marvellous idea -came to me all of a sudden! And it was damned effective, I can tell you; he never so much as argued. Just accepted it. ’ He laughed again, jeeringly, and Shani winced. How could she ever have loved this man? - contemplated spending the rest of her life with him? ‘I don’t anticipate any trouble from your husband, my sweet. Everything’s going to be plain sailing from now on.’ He reached for her hand, but she moved it from the table. Brian frowned at her action, but said cheerfully, ‘We’ll be married in no time at all - now that I’ve taken a hand in the affair. Your husband-in-name-only is utterly defeated!’ His words registered, but vaguely. Her thoughts were elsewhere. Threats, Andreas had mentioned. Threats that he
had dealt with in his own effective way.
‘When did you ring Andreas?’ she asked, wondering if she were as pale as she felt.
‘On Tuesday morning. I’d seen the lawyer soon after I phoned you on Monday evening, but I couldn’t then get through to your husband, even though I tried several times. So I got him on Tuesday morning and successfully said my little piece!’
Successfully.... Shani could have laughed. She said in a cracked and high-pitched voice that brought her companion’s head up with a jerk,
‘So he was defeated, was he?’
‘Absolutely. Never said a word! ’
‘Not one word?’
He shrugged, and amended his statement.
‘He did slip in a word or two now and then. ’ ‘Agreeing to annul the marriage?’ Shani threw him a sideways glance.
‘Not verbally, but, as I’ve said, he was utterly defeated.’ Brian paused a moment. 'Just before I rang off he did try a little bluff—’
‘Bluff?’
‘It was when I told him he was beaten, and so he’d better give in with good grace—‘ ‘You said that to Andreas!’
‘Of course. And then he said he was beaten only when a situation was out of his control - and that this was certainly not out of his control. It was bluff, obviously,’ ended Brian with a sneer.
‘Was my name mentioned?’ she inquired curiously, wondering why Andreas had kept silent about the telephone conversation with Brian. ‘Apart from when you threatened him, I mean?’
‘He asked if you were aware that I intended threatening him. I said you knew nothing about this telephone call but that you would fully approve of my action. I told him you didn’t care what method we used so long as we made him
free you.’
‘In other words he - he believed I was a party to - to what you were doing?’ She felt quite faint. Andreas was believing that of her - on the night of his tender lovemaking. And he still believed it of her, believed she had told Brian she did not care what methods were used so long as he was made to free her.
‘I said you were quite determined to marry me— Yes, he believed you were a party to what I was doing.’ The waiter appeared and Brian took up the menu. ‘Come, sweetheart, let’s have a bumper feast - a second celebration!’
Food.... She said unemotionally,
‘There’s nothing to celebrate.’
He knit his brows, becoming aware at last of her pallor.
‘What do you mean?’ he asked uneasily.
‘Just what I say. There’s nothing to celebrate.’
Brian waved the waiter away and came forward in his chair, regarding her searchingly.
‘You’d better explain. ’
She met his gaze and found no real anxiety there, just a slight uncertainty, nothing more. In fact, a glint of triumph remained, and on his mouth was the sneer displayed when he had spoken so disparagingly of her husband.
‘Your interference,’ she said in icy tones, ‘led Andreas to take the law into his own hands — to make impossible the obtaining of an annulment.’ A fleeting hesitation before she added, ‘He made me stay the night with him at a villa he has in the mountains.’ No blushes, no stammering. Just an unemotional statement that wiped the triumph from Brian’s eyes and the sneer from his mouth.
‘You - he?’ A purple tinge crept under Brian’s skin. ‘I don’t believe it!’
‘It would be rather pointless for me to lie about a matter such as this.’
Black fury leapt to his eyes.
‘The fiend!’ People at a nearby table glanced across, but he was blind to their interest. ‘You had to stay there -to endure - ? My God, but he’ll pay for this! I’ll have his name dragged in the mire—’
‘Just a moment, Brian.’ Shani was white to the lips and her heart raced madly, but she did manage to keep her voice controlled as she went on to explain the change that had been taking place in her feelings for Brian.
‘ I had made up my mind, before — before Andreas and I spent the night at the villa, that I would tell you this weekend when you came up,’ she went on. ‘That’s what I meant when I said there was more to it than Andreas’s adamant attitude regarding the annulment. I could have told you over the phone, and as things have turned out I certainly wish I had, but how was I to know you’d take it upon yourself to interfere in that way?’
‘Interfere? I had every right to interfere, I was your future husband!’
But Shani shook her head.
‘I’ve just told you, Brian, that my feelings for you had already undergone a change.’
He stared at her, veins throbbing in his neck.
‘You sit there, calmly telling me that! And the other,’ he said between his teeth, ‘that doesn’t appear to be troubling you overmuch. Anyone would think you enjoyed it!’
At that the colour rushed to her face. Her legs felt weak, but she managed to rise from her chair.
‘I hadn’t meant us to part enemies,’ she said gently,
‘but it seems we are doing. You had no right whatsoever to threaten my husband - and if you knew him as well as I you wouldn’t lightly have passed off his comme
nt as bluff; you’d have been greatly perturbed by it. What he did hasn’t come as a surprise to me, not now that I know the circumstances. Andreas is too strong a man to be browbeaten by anyone.’ She picked up her handbag from a
chair, fingering it a trifle agitatedly. ‘Brian ... you won’t mention this to anyone? Please don’t let it be known that Andreas is my husband.’ He said nothing and she added pleadingly, ‘You won’t talk - promise?’
‘You need have no fear,’ he snarled at last, his eyes roving over her. ‘I shan’t mention either of you as long as I live!’
‘Thank you.’ She stood there, watching the convulsive movement of his hand as he clenched and unclenched it, gripping the tablecloth at times in his display of fury. ‘I’m sorry—’
‘Don’t waste your breath on apologies. I wouldn’t have you now - and I don’t suppose anyone else will, either,’ he added contemptuously.
‘My husband will,’ she returned gently, and left him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
WITH the utterance of that statement, so confident and firm, the blockage of doubt was removed and Shani knew it was her husband she wanted. She also knew that the idea of living with him had been forming in her mind for some time, and that it had been strengthened by those idyllic days on Cos.
A week had gone by since her last meeting with Brian, and almost a fortnight had passed since Andreas went away. There had been no communication, but then she had not expected him to write. Gossip and speculation could only result from the arrival at the hospital of a letter from Mr. Manou to Sister Reeves. But for the entire period of his absence Shani’s mind had been absorbed by the prospect of making her life with him. At times she would be depressed by the knowledge that he did not love her, yet despite the firm conviction that marriage should be based on foundations far stronger
than her husband was able to supply he now drew her irresistibly and she desired only to be with him. Immediately he returned she would go to him; he would learn that, far from hating him as he believed, she was on the contrary feeling very differently about him. He’d be so glad to have her - perhaps he would even learn to love her in time, she thought, conscious of a glow within her at the possibility of this.
