by Shaw, LK
Damn it. Why were we having this discussion now of all times? “Fine. I’ll admit I’m attracted to Victor. It doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it. Kissing can lead to more than kissing. More than kissing can lead to falling in love. And you know I don’t believe in love.”
“First of all, I didn’t say anything about love. Only kissing. It doesn’t necessarily have to lead to more than kissing. I know your parents did a number on you, but don’t let their shitty marriage and bitter divorce sour you on romance. It does exist. Just look at Brody and me.”
“You two are one of the rare exceptions. I have no desire to put that much trust in anyone. To open myself up to bitter hatred like my parents have. Besides, Victor and I argue like crazy. I listened to my parents argue and fight for most of my life. Hell, they still fight and continue to put me in the middle. No thank you. Why would I torture myself like that?”
“It’s not the same and you know it. You argue with Victor to keep him at arm’s length to protect yourself. Your parents do it because they hate each other. You and I both know you don’t hate Victor.”
“Doesn’t matter. I have no desire to fall in love. I’m happy for you, and I know Brody makes you happy, but that’s just not in the cards for me. Look, I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay? Why don’t you tell me how you guys are doing?”
Ines, being my best friend, knew me well enough to let it go. That didn’t mean the conversation wouldn't come up again, but her sigh told me she accepted current defeat.
“We’re fine. Just bought a new bull who’s giving Brody a little bit of trouble. He keeps busting through the fence to try and reach the heifers. I guess he’s feeling frisky.”
I snorted. I could picture Ines chasing down this giant cow with a broom trying to shoo him away from the ladies.
“Anyway,” she continued. “We’re staying busy with the ranch, that’s for sure. Other than that just impatiently waiting until it’s safe to come visit. I know Brody’s going to reach out to his former handler at the D.E.A., Landon, especially in light of yesterday. The D.E.A. is no doubt looking for Álvarez in order to extradite him and bring him back for trial.”
“Don’t do anything that would put yourselves in danger. Like you said, I’m here with Victor. We’ll be okay. Between him, your brothers, and your father, I’m well protected.”
“I'm glad you’re staying at the house. It does make me feel better. I really do miss you though.”
“Same.”
I glanced up to see Victor stepping back into the room tapping his wrist to indicate my time was up.
“Hey, I have to get going. It isn’t safe to be on the phone much longer. Take care and tell Brody I send my regards. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Bye.”
I disconnected the call and rose to hand the phone back to him.
“Sorry you couldn’t talk longer.” He stuck it in his pocket.
“I'm just glad I got to speak to her at all. Thank you for knowing I needed that.”
He shrugged as though it weren’t a big deal. Except it was. “You guys are best friends, and today was a struggle. I figured it was important for you to talk to her.”
“I appreciate it so much.”
“Happy to help. My dad should be home soon. Do you want to watch some TV for a bit?”
I glanced at the clock on the wall. “I better not. It’s getting late, and I still have lesson plans I need to go over.”
Victor seemed almost disappointed. “Of course. Also, I wanted you to know I’ll take you to the school, but Pablo is going to pick you up. I have to work. Make sure you stay inside until he calls and tells you he’s in the parking lot.”
I saluted. “You got it.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it again. There was a brief pause. “Well, have a good night and holler if you need anything.”
“I will.”
I grabbed my bag from the side table right inside the den, went up to my room, and closed the door. An hour later I was still sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed. I’d barely made it through half my plans, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Ines’ words and kissing Victor.
Would his lips be soft and smooth? Or just a little rough from the scruff surrounding them? I imagined his kiss would be a lot like him. Playful and fun but also sexy and strong. I fell backwards onto the bed with a groan. I didn’t want to be thinking about Victor or his kisses. It didn’t matter that I’d been thinking of him since I was sixteen. In the end, it wouldn't work between us anyway. We were just too different.
Chapter 8
I stared out the patrol car window, my gaze unfocused on the passing scenery while Gladstone chatted next to me. My mind hadn’t been on work all day. All I could think about was Estelle. I’d dropped her off this morning with the reminder to wait for Pablo’s call before leaving the school. Still, I was nervous about someone else, even my brother, picking her up and making sure she stayed safe.
“Yo, earth to Victor. You there man?”
“Hmmm?” I shook my head and turned to him. “What?”
My partner glanced at me with narrowed eyes. “What’s going on with you today? You seem a little out of it.”
My concentration was so off even Gladstone noticed.
“Just thinking.”
“Does it have anything to do with the chick from a couple days ago? The one that almost got snatched out in the parking lot of that school.”
My hackles raised. “Her name is Estelle.”
His eyes darted in my direction before before he returned his attention back to the road. “Hey, no offense man. So…does it have something to do with Estelle? I mean, how do you guys even know each other?”
“She’s Ines’ best friend.”
“Ah,” he drew out the word. “I see.”
I looked at him with a narrow-eyed glare. There had been something in his tone.
“What does that mean?”
“What does what mean?”
“That little ‘I see’.”
Gladstone stopped at the stop sign before easing the patrol car onto Congress Street. “I just mean you were quick to jump in and offer for her to come stay with you guys is all. That’s not really protocol.”
“We didn’t have a concrete suspect or motive. A safe house was overkill. It just made sense for her to go ahead and come to our house.”
Gladstone smirked. “You’re full of shit. You know that, right? I saw how you looked at her. Like she was a hot meal and you hadn’t eaten for days.”
“Jesus, Jonathan. She’s a person, for god’s sake, not some slab of meat.”
“Whatever, man.” he shrugged, unapologetically.
I turned away from him and looked out the window as we patrolled the streets. My partner had hit a nerve. Several of them in fact. It really wasn’t protocol. But Estelle needed protection, and I didn’t trust anyone else to provide it. I remained tense until Pablo called and said he’d picked up Estelle and delivered her safely to our house.
* * *
It was after midnight before I finally walked through the front door. I was surprised to see my dad sitting in his favorite leather recliner watching TV. He wasn’t usually up this late, which had me a little worried.
“Hola, m'hijo.”
“Hola, papá.”
“Everything go okay on shift today?”
I took a seat on the edge of the sofa near him. “Yes, sir. Arrested a couple kids for possession. Answered a couple domestic disturbance calls, but other than writing a few tickets, it was a relatively slow day.”
“That’s good.”
I hesitated. “How’s Estelle?”
“She is fine.”
I shifted uncomfortably under his stare. I’d never been able to hide anything from him. His quiet demeanor was also making me nervous. My father always had something to say so his succinct responses made me nervous. Was he waiting for me to say more? I wasn’t sure I was read
y to talk about things right now. I rubbed my palms on my pant legs and made to stand up and say my goodnight. My dad’s next words stopped me.
“Got a call from Captain Petty today.”
I lowered myself back onto the couch. “About?”
“Raúl Escobar is dead.”
“Why do I know that name?”
“He was the Juárez Cartel’s supplier down in Mexico. Alejandro and he were the ones who’d planned on overthrowing Álvarez. He was there the night Brody’s cover was blown. It was his man who’d recognized him.”
I ran my hands through my hair. “Mierda. Do we know who killed him?”
“Rumor has it… Álvarez. He has never taken kindly to betrayal, according to Brody.”
My mind raced thinking about all the implications of this new development. “But if Escobar is dead, then who’s his new supplier?”
“That’s the problem. No one knows. At least not anyone at the local level. Whether or not the Feds or the D.E.A. know is another story. You know they’re not going to talk to us. The only person who might even be able to get some intel is Brody.”
“Which means he needs to talk to his handler and see what she’ll tell him. He gave up that life. Is it fair to ask him to get involved again?”
“Fair or not, it’s probably the only way.”
“You may be right. I don’t like it though. The more people he talks to the greater the chance the cartel discovers he’s alive.”
My father and I both remained quietly thinking. The consequences would be deadly. Not only for him, but also for my sister. I had to think about Estelle though. It was a no-win situation.
“Well there’s nothing we can do right this second. Maybe once we sleep on it we’ll think of something.”
“Hopefully.” My father didn’t seem convinced.
“If there wasn’t anything else, I’m going to head to bed.” I made to stand again, but my father’s words stopped me.
“Talk to me about Estelle, m’hijo.”
I kept my expression blank. “I'm not sure what you mean.”
He smiled knowingly at me. “You are my son, Victor. You may be able to lie to yourself, but you cannot lie to me. You have feelings for her.”
“I don't know what I have, papá. Even if I did know, it wouldn't matter. Estelle doesn’t particularly care for me. Besides, she’s Ines’ friend, and I wouldn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize their friendship.”
This time it was my father who rose. He put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see him staring down at me with such love.
“You have always been my most persistent child. Even more so than Ines. You’ve fought hard for what you’ve wanted, and you haven’t let anything get in your way. When you really want something, then you do what it takes to get it. Just think on that. Sleep well, m’hijo. Te amo.”
“Te amo, papá,” I whispered.
Long after my father disappeared upstairs, I remained on the couch thinking. He’d been right. I did have feelings for Estelle. They’d started that day outside Ines’ room. It was like a switch had been flipped. They’d grown and changed gradually. But they were there. My father was also right about me fighting for what I wanted. Was I up to the task of fighting against Estelle’s resistance though?
Chapter 9
Saturdays were usually my favorite day of the week. I got to sleep in, do a little yoga, go grocery shopping. Not today though. Today, I was stuck inside the house. Bored. We’d followed the same routine for the last two days. Victor took me to work, and someone picked me up. Honestly it was beginning to drive me crazy. I hated being dependent on anyone. I’d been doing things for myself since I was twelve, and I hadn’t needed anyone’s help yet. Even though I’d been going to work everyday, it wasn’t the same. There I kept busy. A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was barely noon, and I was already developing cabin fever.
There was a big difference between not wanting to go somewhere and not being able to.
My lesson plans for the week were almost done, but I couldn’t seem to sit still long enough to actually finish them. My legs kept twitching with the need to get up and move around. Thankfully, the rumble from my stomach told me it was time to take a break. It was pointless to keep sitting here, accomplishing nothing, so I tromped down the stairs for something to eat.
The kitchen was empty. I’d been a constant visitor here growing up and never felt awkward about helping myself.
I grabbed an apple, a leftover gordita, and a bit of cheese from the fridge and stacked them on a plate before heading into the living room. I curled up on the couch, tucked my feet underneath me, and pulled out the mystery novel I’d started reading a week ago but hadn't picked up in a few days. I flipped the pages and nibbled on my snacks, becoming thoroughly engrossed in my story. The front door opened just as I’d just popped the last piece of cheese in my mouth. Victor strode in. He caught sight of me and paused.
“Oh, hey. I didn’t expect to see you down here. How’s it going?”
Where else would I be? I swallowed. “Okay, I guess. A little restless. I’m not used to being cooped up all day.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“I was hoping maybe I could get out of the house. At least for a little while.”
Victor rubbed the back of his neck, like he was gearing himself up to say no, which annoyed me. It felt like I was asking for permission, even if, technically, I was.
“We might be able to go out for a bit. Where’d you want to go?”
“I meant by myself, but I should have known that wasn’t going to be an option.”
“Sorry, it’s just not safe yet.”
“I know. It was wishful thinking. I’d say let’s get something to eat, but I just finished lunch.” I gestured to my clean plate.
“Well, you haven’t had dessert yet. Why don’t we get some ice cream? A new place just opened up not too far from here.”
If there was one thing I couldn’t resist, it was ice cream. My desire to get out of the house had nothing to do with being stuck in here in general. It was more being stuck in the house with Victor. His constant presence was driving me crazy, because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I’d even started dreaming about him. The lure of my favorite dessert was too much, though, so I caved.
“Fine, but you’re going to have to pay, since I don’t have my wallet.”
One side of his mouth tipped up. “So, if I’m paying, does this mean it’s a date?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Not hardly.”
Victor tilted his head and tapped a finger to his lips. “I don’t know, it kind of sounds like a date to me.”
I crossed my arms and barely refrained from stomping my foot. “It’s definitely not.”
“How badly do you want to get out of the house?” he asked with a devilish smile.
Aghast, I stared. “Are you seriously trying to blackmail me into saying this is a date?”
“All you have to do is say those three little words, and we’ll walk out the front door.”
This time, I did stomp my foot. “You are such a jerk.”
Victor merely continued smiling. It made my heart skip. I threw my hands up in disgust with a groan. “I hate you. You know that, right?”
He outright laughed at this. “Nah, you just love ice cream that much. Come on, it’ll be fun.”
“Says the blackmailer.”
Looping his hand through the crook of my elbow, he gently tugged me forward. My arms uncrossed and I expected him to release me. Instead he clasped my hand in his. I attempted to pull free, but he merely held a little tighter, refusing to let go. My skin tingled from his touch. Could he feel my swiftly beating pulse?
I gave up and let Victor lead me outside, because my desperation to get out of the house for a bit far outweighed my annoyance with him. A short drive later, my irritation had waned. I could also still feel the imprint of his warm hand against mine.
We stood at the counter waiting to order.
Victor turned to me. “You going with mint chocolate chip, or something different today?”
Surprise flittered through me. “What makes you think I’d order mint chocolate chip?”
Victor looked at me like I was asking if the sky was blue. “Considering that’s all you ever ate at our house, I assume that’s the only ice cream you like. Or it’s at least your favorite.”
Stunned, I could only mumble. “Yeah, that’s what I’m getting.”
As though nothing profound just occurred, Victor moved up and placed our order while I stumbled forward, shell-shocked, to stand next to him. How did he remember my favorite flavor after all these years? Still a little dumbstruck, I took the cone he handed me and followed him to a back table in the corner. He sat facing the door while I took the seat opposite.
“How's yours?” he asked after a couple minutes.
“Oh, um, it’s good.”
“I never understood how people could enjoy the flavor of mint and chocolate together, but to each her own.”
After glancing at his concoction of blue, pink, and purple flavors, I didn’t think he had the right to be questioning my taste in ice cream. I looked up at him and my lips quirked. Victor licked his cone and stuck his tongue out at me. If nothing else he made me laugh and enjoy my time out of the house. Soon we’d both finished.
“So what made you go into teaching?”
I dabbed the napkin across my mouth. “I like working with kids, and I want to be able to provide a good education for them.”
He studied me, and I tried not to squirm under his penetrating gaze. “That’s a perfectly reasonable response. Too bad it sounded just a little too pat. C’mon, Bubbles, fess up. What’s the real reason? Not the standard response you’d tell a stranger.”
I didn’t like that he could see right through me. My annoyance was pretty clear, because Victor softened his voice.
“Hey, this is me. You can trust me with the truth.”
Could I though? I wanted to trust somebody, but I’d always held back so much of myself from everyone in my life. I didn’t think I was, or would ever be, ready to fully trust anyone. Not even Victor. I wanted to believe so badly though. Taking a risk, I gave him what he asked for. The truth.
