by India Lee
Ian’s eyes widened, fully green in the sunlight. “Why?”
“Because my life is awesome,” Amanda answered bitterly. “There goes my plan of avoiding her until I’m successful.”
To her disappointment, Ian heaved a sigh and buried his head in his arms. She had hoped that he would say something inspiring, but apparently they were both out of hopeful words. The feeling made her eyes well up with tears again. She put the sunglasses back on her face.
“You can still avoid her. Stay with me at my hotel. I’ll book you your own room.”
Amanda shook her head. “I can’t. We’re having a party for her at my house and everyone’s so excited to see her. She makes them happy just by being her perfect self.” Amanda reached for the coffee, taking a sip of it black. For some reason, it tasted like nothing. “I make everyone happy by being a mess. It’s sad.” Tears rolled down her cheeks again. Amanda let a woeful hiccup escape her lips even though she felt guilty for making Ian panic. He was apparently one of those boys that didn’t know what to do when a girl started crying.
“Look… stop. Here.” He took off his grey hoodie and handed it to her, leaving himself in a red plaid button-down. “Put the hood over your head. It’ll cover your face better.”
Amanda laughed through her tears. “It’s okay, I’ve just about embarrassed myself to the fullest in this town. Might as well go all the way.”
“I don’t want you to,” Ian said, draping the garment around her shoulders. “There has to be something we can do.”
“About what?”
“Being useless, because we’re not. I just need to think of what we can do and who can help us.” Ian wrung his hands, his brow furrowed as he racked his brain. “My uncle is a stunt coordinator for all the big action movies in Hollywood, but I’m not sure what favor I could ask from him. And I guess he’s not really my uncle.” Off Amanda’s confusion, he explained, “We’re family friends. But I don’t think my parents talk to him anymore. Well, I wouldn’t know. They don’t talk to me much either.”
Amanda blinked, processing the information. It was essentially all useless for their purposes.
“Well… there might be something,” she felt herself saying. She had been dying to tell him, but it seemed far too dangerous.
“What?” Ian immediately asked, his eyes utterly desperate.
God, am I really about to tell him this? Amanda chewed on her lips as she felt the story about Liam Brody threatening to spill. She tried to reason with herself. Ian’s not in the right mindset to handle this news. He’ll want to do something crazy. Don’t tell him, Amanda. Just don’t.
She told him. Rapidly and as quietly as possible, she relayed every detail of her exchange with Liam Brody. It was like a weight off her shoulder and a breath of fresh air. She took such pleasure in Ian’s reaction, watching his face go from shock to disbelief, back to shock, then finally jubilation.
“Amanda, it’s a fucking miracle!” he shouted, shooting up from his seat with his hands in the air. The entire diner froze, coming to a standstill as they stared at the tall stranger and his vulgar mouth. Even the cooks in the kitchen emerged to get a glimpse of the yeller, but Ian showed no more signs of caring.
“Shh!” Amanda hissed, though she couldn’t help being completely amused. She dared to peek at her neighbors, whose gazes interchanged between them like they were watching a tennis match. Tandy Mueller sat at the counter with a few of her gossip minions, her terrifying eyes so wide she could see more white than pupil.
“Amanda Nathan, you are embarrassing your family,” Tandy dared to shout, standing up from her chair. “I hope you realize that!”
Ian promptly spun to face her. “And I hope you… get a life, you nutjob!” He slapped a twenty-dollar bill on the table before taking Amanda’s hand to help her up from the booth. “Okay, I think we have to go now,” he murmured in her ear, clearly startled by his own outburst.
“I think you’re right,” Amanda whispered, covering her mouth in shock as they shuffled out the diner.
~
Amanda sat on the wooden dresser in Ian’s Marriott suite as he watched Liam’s video from his own laptop. Just listening to Liam Brody’s actual voice again brought her back to the reality that a celebrity was offering her whatever payment she wanted to complete a task that really couldn’t be easier. The past few days had been such a whirlwind that Amanda wondered if she had simply been out of her mind not to consider Liam’s offer earlier.
Sitting cross-legged on the bed with his chin in his hands, Ian looked like a riveted five-year-old watching cartoons. When the video finished, he slowly turned to Amanda, his wide eyes fixated on nothing in particular.
“I know what to do,” he said, zen-like.
“What? What are we going to do?”
“More like what are you going to do,” he clarified, looking at her. “It would kill a million birds with one stone and I can’t believe you didn’t think of it earlier.”
“What? What? Tell me!”
He threw his head back and laughed, flopping onto his back. “This is hilarious.”
“Why?” Amanda asked urgently. “What’s hilarious?”
“You dating Liam Brody.”
Amanda stiffened, hit by a mix of emotions. She let out a sharp laugh but then suddenly shook her head with a frown. “I can’t. I’m not pretty enough.”
Ian shot her an incredulous look. “Uh, I think the issue might be that you’re too pretty. Remember?” He waved his hand before her dazed eyes. “You’re not exactly Plain Jane material.”
Amanda narrowed her eyes at him, her cheeks aflame. “Stop,” she said, not knowing what else to say. Compliments always made her uncomfortable.
“I’ll stop, but you have to start getting used to the idea of being Liam Brody’s fake girlfriend, because it’s going to happen. It’s the perfect plan,” he said, his fingers typing away on the laptop again. “Don’t worry, I’ll respond to this email for you. I know exactly what to say.”
“Wait!” Amanda yelped, the reality suddenly hitting her. A knot twisted in her stomach. She could ask to be Liam’s Plain Jane. “Just hold on. Let me think for a second.”
“Fine.” Ian closed his laptop and placed it gingerly before him, crossing his arms as he waited for Amanda to think. She stayed silent, frozen on the dresser. “Do you need me to talk you through this?” he asked.
Amanda nodded wordlessly.
“Alright. Part one. You are going to date Liam because he needs a nice, every day All-American girlfriend that the rest of the world will like and approve of. You’re going to get famous because you’ll have broken the chain of swimsuit models that he usually goes for, and everyone will love both of you for being such a weird, unlikely couple.” Ian tilted his head, trying to meet Amanda’s roving eyes. “Are you following so far?”
“Uh-huh,” Amanda answered absently, still rather jolted. It made a ton of sense, really. But that was the part that was scaring her.
“Part two. You stick it to everyone in Merit, especially Megan, because you’re the girlfriend of an A-list celebrity whose been named to like a hundred Sexiest Man lists. You’ll use whatever platform you get as his girlfriend to create your own following – on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, whatever. And that can all lead to some sort of job. I mean, you realize that people have gotten endorsement deals just for dating celebrities, right? You just have to know how to play it. Or, more importantly, you just have to meet the one right person to connect you to a bunch of different opportunities.”
Amanda nodded, literally pinching herself to snap out of her trance. “Holy crap,” she murmured
“What?”
“This could all totally happen,” she said, looking up at Ian with a sudden exhilaration. “This is actually a completely feasible plan!”
“Well… yeah,” he shrugged. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“But what about you?” Amanda asked. “What will make you famous?”
&nb
sp; Ian smirked. “Being your friend. Being connected to Liam somehow. Trust me, I’ll guide your way to make sure you blow up. My own career depends on it.”
Amanda smiled, slowly allowing herself to laugh. To really, truly enjoy it. The plan was actually genius. She wasn’t sure it could get any better.
“Oh, and one more thing,” Ian said, as if suddenly remembering. “If the world ever starts to forget us, we won’t let them. Because we control the news.”
~
Dear Mr. Brody,
In your last email, you asked me to name a price, so I found one. I agree to post only favorable articles (and my own flattering comments) about your new romance as long as you agree to the following terms.
1. You expressed an interest in dating a so-called Plain Jane to reverse your image as a bikini-chasing asshat. The Plain Jane you choose must be me.
2. Aside from housing (any hotel will do, I’m not bougie), I will be charging a weekly fee of $1,500.
3. A Soldier is set to begin production in mid-February. Our staged romance must last until then, and you must bring me to at least three public appearances, such as premieres, parties, and other highly photographed events. I promise to attend whatever you invite me to.
4. You must take me out on at least one ‘date’ a week in plain view. Make-up dates can be scheduled if no paparazzi show, but let’s be real, they will be all over this.
5. You must mention me in at least two interviews between now and mid-February.
6. To sign this contract, you must fly to Columbia Regional Airport in Columbia, Missouri, arriving no later than 10AM this Tuesday the 12th.
- You must pick up me (and 1 friend who is aware of our situation) at a TBD location near Merit, Missouri to catch our flight back to New York.
- You must suck it up if you find yourself in a situation where you have to make small talk with my family members or neighbors. You will be my loyal “boyfriend” at this point, so please remember to speak and act in such a manner (I will accept nicknames such as “honey” and “babe”).
7. Contact me at (573) 555 – 1202. I will disclose my name and other necessary personal information when you arrive in Missouri.
I, Liam Brody, agree to the terms of service outlined in this email.
X ____________________________
Please get back to me as soon as possible about these arrangements.
Sincerely yours,
- PK
~
“It doesn’t make sense to move the welcoming party back a few days. She’s coming home tomorrow and I already invited everyone to come by around two,” Amanda’s mother said, angrily mixing chocolate cake batter in a yellow ceramic bowl. “Besides, I hardly want you at this party considering the stunt you pulled at L.J’s today.”
Planted behind her laptop at the kitchen table, Amanda did her best to sound rational. “I told you it was blown out of proportion. Since when did you start believing a single word Tandy Mueller said anyway? You and Alice always thought she was creepy.”
“Well then I supposed everyone else in town is lying too.”
“Would it be the first time?”
Her mother pursed her lips, considering it. “You still have a lot of explaining to do, Amanda Bree. I’m still waiting for it.”
“I know,” Amanda nodded blankly, refreshing her inbox fiendishly as she did so. Liam had yet to respond, and she couldn’t tell her parents about moving out again until he confirmed that she could. Not only that, she wanted to convince her mother to set the celebration on the day of Liam’s arrival. Turning Megan’s welcome home bash into her own farewell party sounded like some of the best revenge Amanda could think of – especially if Liam would be in attendance as her boyfriend.
Click. Click. Click. Amanda grew more and more antsy with each refresh of the page. Liam Brody had to have a smart phone. Why the hell wasn’t he checking his mail?
“Are you going to explain what’s going on with you or not?” her mother asked impatiently. “Between Tandy’s stories and this Ian boy, I’m getting the feeling you didn’t tell me something about your time in St. Louis.”
No kidding, Amanda thought. She decided not to answer. She didn’t want to spoil her mother’s fun of throwing a welcome home party by revealing Megan’s true colors. Either that or she just didn’t want to get into it. She could barely form a coherent sentence in her jitteriness.
“Do you hear me, young lady?”
Ding.
The sound came the moment Amanda’s hand took a break to crack her knuckle. Her eyes went wild as she clicked on her inbox, unable to hold her excitement as she saw Liam’s email address bolded at the top. She wanted to move to her room to check the message in private but she simply couldn’t wait.
Dear “Babe”,
It’s a deal. Call you when I get there.
Sincerely,
Love,
Liam
“Oh my God,” Amanda breathed.
“What?”
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” She lifted her laptop off the table and ran with it to her room, shutting the door despite her mother’s shouting questions. A surge of adrenaline coasted through her veins, forcing her to literally hop up and down on the balls of her feet. She grabbed her phone off her dresser, dialing Ian’s number. After a half ring, he answered.
“Did he respond?”
“He said, ‘It’s a deal!’ He agreed!” Amanda squealed, jumping up on her bed excitedly. “I’m going to New York! We both are!”
She heard a string of joyous and faraway expletives from the other end of the line before Ian’s voice came back clearly again. “Wait, wait, what else did he say? When is he coming?”
Amanda’s smile fell as she realized that Liam hadn’t mentioned that. She reopened her laptop and stared at the email again, only then seeing that it had included an attachment. She clicked on it, a smile once again forming on her lips.
“He attached his flight confirmation,” she said, gasping for breath. “Oh my God.”
“What? What?”
“His flight is tomorrow morning. He lands at 1:35PM,” Amanda murmured, staring in awe at the information. She sucked in a deep breath just to let it out in the form of a long, victorious “yessssssss.” She could barely tend to Ian, who was still spewing questions on the other end.
“What? What? So it’s all happening? Are we leaving tomorrow?”
Amanda did her best to compose herself so she could answer. “Yes,” she smiled broadly. “After me and Liam crash Megan’s party.”
~
Amidst Amanda’s closet full of sweatshirts and blue jeans was one outfit that she felt she looked fairly decent in. The long-sleeved, cross-front dress was a turquoise color that complemented her auburn hair nicely, and the opaque black tights she wore underneath always flattered her legs. The ensemble was also the only one in her wardrobe that probably wouldn’t bore Liam to death. Amanda disliked him and all, but she still wanted to look moderately attractive upon first meeting him. Plus, he was gaining points with her for being so responsibly communicative. Earlier that morning, he had sent her a text message about having just boarded his flight. It was unreal. A Hollywood actor was reporting to her. He was Golden Globe nominated for goodness sake.
Amanda had texted him the address of Ian’s hotel, where they were set to meet in the lobby. He would notify her upon his landing and she would drive from her own house to Ian’s hotel. There, they would all officially meet and get their first encounter over with before heading back to Megan’s party, which by then would be in full swing. Perhaps not so strangely, that was the part that Amanda anticipated the most.
“Well, well, well. Look who it is!” Megan’s mother clapped her hands as Amanda made her way to the kitchen, where her own mother was preparing chili.
“Hi, Alice,” she said, wondering how happy Alice Mayer really could be to see her. Rumors aside, her own daughter had to have told her a few lies about what had happened in St. Louis. Megan c
ertainly wouldn’t have admitted to stealing her own best friend’s boyfriend.
“Nice of you to dress up for the occasion,” Alice smiled, plucking at the fabric of Amanda’s dress. Her smile faltered as if she had expected to feel a nicer material. “You gonna help us set up the food?”
“Sure. But,” Amanda paused, realizing that she was about to utter the first word of her epic, sensational, and glamorous lie. Her lips curled upward. “I have to pick up a friend soon. He’s arriving at the airport in thirty minutes.”
Both her mother and Alice halted, staring at her with confusion.
“Who?” Her mother squinted.
“Is it that boy that you were with at L.J’s?” Alice asked.
“No, it’s not Ian,” Amanda said, reveling in each of her own words. “It’s my… good friend.” She knew her coy wording would invite assumptions.
“Oh my gosh, it’s a new boyfriend!” Alice exclaimed boisterously, hands on her hips. “Young lady, spill.” Amanda bit her lips back and grinned shyly, prompting Alice to point and gasp. “Look at the girl,” she clucked. “She’s head over heels.”
She wasn’t quite, but the excitement on her face was real. Amanda had never encountered a celebrity face-to-face, and it was about to happen in less than an hour. She had also never been involved in such an enormous charade, and the idea of pretending so much made her stomach turn, but with anticipation. It would be like being an actress, but in her every day life.
After twenty minutes of dodging questions from both her mother and Alice, Amanda’s phone vibrated, making everybody jump.
“It’s him!” Alice gasped as Amanda snatched her phone before her mother could. The message was indeed from Liam.
Landed. Heading to Marriott now.
