Thankfully, Paige didn’t talk again on the way back to Maggie’s inn. After telling about Sarah’s last day Caleb didn’t want to keep up small talk. He hoped Paige understood that.
He turned into the driveway to the inn, and the truck bumped up the gravel road. Someday he’d dig out the roots to some of those big trees so it would be a smoother drive. That, or just pay to have Maggie’s driveway cemented.
The second he stopped the truck, Paige unbuckled her seat belt and shot out of the cab like a horse breaking free of a fence. He could only hope her silence had meant that Paige changed her mind about being a part of Sarah’s Home. That she was safe now.
* * *
Maggie welcomed Paige home for the day with an unexpected hug. “And I have some homemade sun tea waiting for you in the kitchen. Let me just run out to the truck and snag Caleb for a second, and then I’ll join you. But feel free to help yourself to some.”
Paige pressed through the front door but turned to peek back at Caleb and Maggie as they talked outside of Caleb’s truck. Maggie hugged him and swatted at his chest a couple of times while they chatted.
Pulling out her keys, Paige unlocked the door that led to the private living quarters of the inn. She dumped her bags on the desk in her small bedroom and then made her way to the kitchen. Sun tea sounded good. She grabbed a glass and filled it to the top before crossing to the living room. Paige sat in front of the television but didn’t turn it on. She took a sip of the tea, then set down the glass and walked over to the bookshelves lining the wall.
Old books were crammed in to fill every available space on the large shelves. Three framed pictures sat on the shelf, as well. One photo off to the side caught her eye. It was a wedding shot—Caleb and a beautiful redheaded bride who must have been Sarah, both with their arms around Maggie.
Paige picked up the picture and studied it. Caleb had such a great smile. If he knew the pain he would go through soon after his wedding, would he still have gone through with it?
Maggie came in balancing a pitcher of tea and a plate of cookies. “I hope you like oatmeal chocolate chip. I know some people prefer raisins in their oatmeal cookies, but I’ve always thought raisins had no place in dessert. A cookie with raisins is just breakfast in disguise if you ask me.”
“Oatmeal chocolate chip is perfect.” Paige smiled and snagged two.
“Good.” Maggie dropped into an overstuffed side chair and propped her feet up on the coffee table.
Paige sank her teeth into the warm cookie. The chocolate melted on her tongue. “These are delicious. You know, if you want a break in the kitchen I’m still willing to make my special cranberry white-chocolate scones. I’d make them the night before so they’d be ready for guests in the morning.”
“Like I said before, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“Sure you could. Maggie, you’re letting me live here for free. Making a couple scones is the least I could do.”
“If you’re sure, then I’ll take you up on that next week. I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday so that would work out well.” Maggie tossed her feet onto the coffee table. “I hope you don’t mind that I just told Caleb he can come do some yard work on Saturday about midmorning. We have no guests booked for the inn on Friday night and that’s the first time all summer. But if you don’t want the noise and would rather sleep in, I could ask him to come later.”
Paige looked back at the shelf that housed the photos of Caleb on his wedding day. “You two are close.”
A sad smile played across Maggie’s face. “For all intents and purposes he’s my brother. You see, he was married to my sister, Sarah. So even though Sarah’s gone, he still treats me like I’m his in-law. And hey, if a man’s offering free labor around the house, I’m not going to pass it up.” Maggie polished off the last cookie.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Maggie nodded. “I miss her every day. She was an amazing woman.”
In the truck Caleb had told her that Sarah was attacked. But so many questions swirled in Paige’s head, still. What had happened to her that she would have needed CPR? “He told me a little about her today.”
“Really?” Maggie set down her glass. “He so rarely talks about her. Sometimes it makes me feel like he hasn’t processed through everything yet.”
“I want to volunteer at Sarah’s Home so—”
Maggie popped to her feet and started to pace. “You know he’ll never let you, right?”
“How I understand it from Principal Timmons, it’s not up to Caleb.” Paige crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch cushion.
Maggie stopped moving and faced Paige. “Did he tell you everything?”
Of course not. Men always leave out a bit of the truth. “I don’t think so.”
She perched on the edge of the coffee table. “My sister was born with a condition that meant one of her legs was longer than the other. She was teased so much at school. You know how cruel kids can be. Well, in the fifth grade she was placed in the same class as Caleb and he heard kids making fun of her and stood up for her. Told them to knock it off. Everyone listened to him because Caleb’s always been popular.”
Maggie straightened a little owl statue on the shelf. “After that Caleb and Sarah were inseparable. She followed him around and called him her hero. You know, she always said that’s why she opened Sarah’s Home—because Caleb had saved her and it was her turn to use her time to save others. I think he knows that, and that fact makes what happened even harder for him to deal with it.”
Paige nodded. “He blames himself.”
“I know. He can be so thickheaded.” Maggie shook her head. “But it’s ridiculous, and I’ve told him that a hundred times. He tells himself that if he’d gone along that night, Sarah would still be alive. But know what I think? I think that the man who shot Sarah could have used his gun on both of them. What does Caleb really think he could have done to fight off a gun?”
Paige gasped. “She was shot?”
“Oh, he didn’t tell you that?” Maggie’s eyes went wide.
“He only said that she was attacked and died.”
“Multiple gunshot wounds. The offender was never found.” Maggie looked away, her gazed fixed on the upper part of the wall like it was suddenly the most interesting aspect of the room. A few moments passed before she started speaking again. “I think Caleb has spent the last two years finding every way imaginable to punish himself.”
Paige didn’t want to press Maggie. After all, Sarah had been her sister. Maggie must have mourned, as well. But it bothered Paige that Caleb felt responsible for everything. “He has to see he’s not responsible for the act of a stranger.”
Maggie sighed as she picked up the empty plate. “In this world it’s a whole lot easier to hold on to guilt than it is to forgive.”
“Who does he need to forgive? The gunman?” Paige grabbed the two cups and trailed Maggie into the kitchen.
Maggie laid the dish in the sink and gazed out the window. She pressed her hand to her lips before whispering, “Himself. Caleb needs to forgive himself.”
Chapter Five
“Do you want an omelet? I have time to make one. I don’t have to pick up Snaggle-Tooth until eight-thirty.” Clad in baggy sweats and an old sweatshirt, Shelby leaned against the kitchen cabinets.
Caleb adjusted his tie. His image looked foreign in the hall mirror. He only kept his beard in the summer, but once school officially started, he stayed clean shaven.
He turned and smiled at his little sister. “No, thanks. I’ll grab a cup of joe from Cherry Top on the way to school. I wouldn’t want to keep you from walking every dog in town,” he joked.
She crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “You’re impossible, you goof. Well, you better be
off—I don’t want to keep you from the pretty new teacher.”
Ever since he’d made the mistake of casually mentioning his talk with Paige, Shelby found every chance to mention her.
Caleb shoved the large teacher binder into a backpack. “Did I tell you she wants to serve at Sarah’s Home?”
“Only about seven times.”
“Well, she does.” He opened the fridge and grabbed his lunch bag. The rest of the shelves looked bare. “Do you want me to get something on my way home for dinner? I can stop and get groceries if you email me a list.”
“You’ll be on your own for dinner tonight.” Shelby’s wavy brown hair fell in front of her eyes as she picked at her nails—a sure sign that she was nervous about something.
Caleb set his bags on the counter. “So you have plans tonight? Going out with one of your girlfriends?”
Shelby bit her lip and looked out the window. “A guy from the singles group is taking me out.”
He crossed his arms and fought the papa-bear protective urge rising in his chest. The one that made him want to growl at any man that came within ten feet of her. Shelby was an adult, but she would always be his baby sister.
She’d be married by now if not for the scars on her arms and legs. If he’d listened to her that night when she wanted to talk about their parents’ divorce, she wouldn’t have been in the church when it went up in flames. She’d be fine now—whole. Probably living a full life somewhere besides Goose Harbor, but instead she was stuck here with him. Forever marked.
What did she have to look forward to? Taking care of Caleb and running a small dog-walking business day in and day out couldn’t make her happy. He’d asked her to move in with him after Sarah died. The house felt like a museum the months following his wife’s funeral. But Shelby deserved better.
She deserved a man who would take care of her who wasn’t her brother, but so far all the dates in the past five years had turned and run when they saw the burns on her skin. No wonder she always wore long sleeves and pants.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Caleb kept his voice even. Shelby wouldn’t want his pity.
“Settle down, okay? It’s dinner, Caleb—not a proposal.” She shoved her hands into the wide pockets on her hooded sweatshirt. “What’s your problem anyway? I don’t need your approval, nor did I ever ask you to protect me. I can take care of myself.”
He gently caught her arm before she could leave the room. “It always starts as dinner and it ends with you hurt.” Caleb waited for her to make eye contact. “Just be careful, okay? I don’t want you to get your—”
“Hopes up. I know.” She pulled away and brushed past him. “Just say it. You don’t think someone could like me in that way.”
“You know that’s not what I meant. I—”
“You’re going to be late for work.” She jutted a thumb at the large clock on the wall.
He still had twenty minutes before he needed to be in his classroom, but he should leave. A conversation could wait until they had more time. But parting ways with them both worked up didn’t sit well with him.
Caleb trailed her out the front door. “Shelby,” he called.
She stopped with her hand on the door of her beat-up Volkswagen. With her back to him, her shoulders sagged.
He stepped closer and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I love you.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“I don’t want to see you hurt again.” Why wouldn’t she look at him?
She took in a deep breath and blinked rapidly. “You can’t protect me forever. You know that, right?”
“A brother can sure try.” Caleb leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. “Have a good day.”
He climbed into his truck and backed out of their driveway. Books, besides White Fang, which he had finished last night, scattered across the floor of the passenger side. Paige must have left one of her bags yesterday. He didn’t want her to waste time searching frantically for those at Maggie’s. Coffee from Cherry Top would have to wait until the next school day.
Usually the sunshine on Lake Michigan kept his attention during his drive, but this morning he kept thinking about the sad expression on Shelby’s face.
Wanting solitude, he snapped off the radio dial.
You can’t protect me forever. It wasn’t the first time she’d tossed those words at him. Maggie also warned him over and over to leave Shelby alone and let her make her own mistakes. But surely it wasn’t wrong to shelter people in your life from pain? Yes, his protective urge had doubled since Sarah’s death. But this world was dangerous. It didn’t help that his best friend was a cop and told him terrible stories of things that happened to people—real people. All of it showed Caleb that he had to protect the people he loved or risk losing them.
“God, have I been wrong all along? Is it so bad to try to protect the people I love? Isn’t that what You did for us on the cross?”
It all came down to trust. Did Caleb trust God? Of course he did—but that same God let Sarah die. Sometimes, a man had to take protection into his own hands because God couldn’t stop a criminal bent on causing pain.
Caleb shook his head as he pulled out of his neighborhood.
Nothing made sense anymore.
* * *
Up way before her alarm, Paige cradled a cup of iced tea as she gazed out the window and tried to mentally prepare herself for the first day of school. Outside, the sun burned on the eastern horizon. Primrose hues reached like slender fingers up over the sand dunes, the pink mingling high up into the purple velvet sky.
Paige commanded the butterflies in her stomach to die. Freshmen were supposed to have first-day-of-school jitters. Not teachers.
Her Bible rested on her nightstand where she’d set it when she finished unpacking last night. She scooped it up and fumbled through the still-crisp pages. This was the part she didn’t enjoy. The people at her old church told her she should read every day, but she never understood just how, because choosing what to read felt like playing a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.
Should she just open the book at random and let God show her what He wanted? That never seemed to work. Start at the beginning? Except that one book—Numbers—always made her brain hurt. Reading it made no sense. Some of her friends back in Chicago seemed to find a daily message just waiting for them in the Scriptures, but to her the book was a locked treasure chest with no key. That—and it said she should submit to men.
Right.
She set the Bible back down.
A buzzer sounded in the kitchen, which meant Maggie was up preparing breakfast for her guests. Paige ran a comb through her hair one last time and swiped some gloss over her lips. Done. She might as well head to the high school early and finish last-minute preparations before the students filed in. Paige grabbed the canvas bag full of books and stepped out of her room. She should have one more bag, but she realized late last night that she’d left the second bag in Caleb’s truck.
“Well, hi there, dear.” Ida scooted a stack of pancakes onto an empty platter. “Would you care for one? I made them myself. Secret recipe and all.” She winked.
Paige set her bag of books on the counter. “You know, I actually have an extra couple minutes. I might as well.”
All the dishes in the sink had been rinsed and the room smelled like the lemon all-purpose spray Maggie used on the counters. Although, when Maggie cooked, the place usually looked like someone had waged a food fight in the room. She never cleaned until long after breakfast service.
“Where’s Maggie?”
Ida tottered over with two pancakes arranged on a delft-blue plate. “She’s not feeling well this morning so I took over for her.”
Paige set down her fork. “She’s sick? Oh, no, I hope it’s not bad. Shou
ld I do something? Do you need help?” Not that she had time this morning, but Maggie had let her stay here for free.
“You just keep that seat and eat for me. Nothing makes me happier than people eating my cooking.” Ida fiddled with the coffeemaker.
Paige dumped warm maple syrup all over her plate.
Ida continued, “That is, except for love. Love makes me happier than just about anything else in the world. But then, you knew that.”
Paige tried to force a smile. Ida could enjoy her rosy version of love. But Paige knew better. Men worth sighing over existed in two places—books and the olden days when Ida found her husband. But men weren’t like that anymore. Love led to pain. End of story. No need to pop Ida’s sweet soap bubble, though.
Ida arranged tiny mugs onto the coffee cart. “You know, that’s Magpie’s real problem. If she could just find a man to love I think she’d be a lot happier.”
Right. Like marrying Dad had made Mom so much cheerier. Especially when Mom discovered how many years Dad had been cheating on her. Why had she stayed with him, anyway?
No longer hungry, Paige pushed her plate a few inches away. “It could be dangerous to use whether or not someone has a man in her life as a basis for measuring happiness. A lot of women are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.”
“Oh, I’m not saying that at all. No one needs a man to be whole. If they’re looking for a man to do that—” Ida giggled “—tough cookies. They’re damaged goods just like the rest of us. No man can meet that need, I’m afraid. Only the good Lord is up for that task. But I know Maggie’s heart—she longs for a family. The Lord put that desire inside of her, and He’ll meet that in good time.”
Of course—just like God had met her dream of a family and a faithful husband.
Wasn’t going to happen.
God was too busy managing the important functions of the world. Starving people, countries at war and natural disasters ranked much higher on His list.
Paige stretched her fingers, willing her muscles to relax. Don’t get worked up. One little old lady spouting off foolishness shouldn’t ruin her day. Smile and nod to Ida and be done with this conversation.
Love Inspired August 2014 – Bundle 1 of 2 Page 49
