‘Will you be talking while we have a drink? Because I have no desire to sit across the table from you if you don’t.’
‘I promise to make an effort.’
‘You’d better, Paul Carey.’
‘And if I don’t?’
‘I’ll go home to the cat.’
He turned the key in Trev’s ignition and set his hand on the gearstick.
I’d do a much better job of warming your lap.
Gritting his teeth, he pulled out from the kerb. ‘I’m sure I can be better company than a feline. Tell me about your mother.’
Chapter Thirteen
‘Mum!’ Serena bounced up and down on the footpath at the Bourke bus depot and waved as her mother made her way off the bus and descended with slow, careful steps. She looked ethereal, fragile, and Serena’s heart thumped at the thought of how close she’d come to losing her. If her mother hadn’t gone for a mammogram when she did, her treatment might not have been successful.
Two other passengers darted between them before her mother reached her and raised her free arm to Serena’s cheek and stroked it. ‘Serena, my darling girl, I’ve missed you.’
‘Mum, it’s great to see you.’ She wrapped her arms around her mother’s too-thin frame, feeling her bones through the layers of winter clothing. Shadows like bruises made her green eyes seem larger; or maybe that was because she was so slim.
The bus driver hauled a single suitcase covered in stickers of overseas destinations from the baggage compartment and set it gently beside her mother. ‘Is that all, Dawn?’
‘That’s it, thank you, Wayne. Lovely to ride with you. That was the best bus trip I’ve been on.’ Her mother extended her hand.
Wayne shook it, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. ‘Next time you’re travelling, I hope you come on my bus.’ He smiled before climbing aboard and resuming his seat. Giving them a quick wave, he closed the door and, with a hiss of hydraulics, the bus pulled away from the depot.
‘Another conquest, Mum?’
‘Don’t be silly, dear. Look at me, why would any man be interested in this old frame?’ She adjusted the bright blue and yellow beanie with a self-conscious gesture at odds with the confident woman who had raised her daughter alone.
‘Remember what you taught me? You are beautiful, and your beauty is much more than skin deep; you’re charming, and Wayne obviously enjoyed your company.’
Her mother laughed and adjusted the strap of her handbag. ‘Stop turning what I taught you back on me.’
‘Well, either you believe what you taught me or I’ll never take what you say as truth again.’ Squeezing her mother’s waist, Serena dropped a quick kiss on her cheek before scooping up the suitcase. ‘And you want to be a great role model for your daughter, don’t you?’
Her mother chuckled and linked her arm through Serena’s. ‘You’ve got me on that one. Where’s Esmeralda?’
Serena pointed across the street where her car was almost hidden between two work utes. ‘Would you like coffee, food, or do you just want to get going and see Mindalby?’
‘I don’t have much of an appetite, but a cup of chamomile tea would be wonderful before we set off again. I’ve got my own teabags in case they don’t stock it this far west.’
‘There’s a decent little cafe I stopped at on the road into town. Let’s go there and you can tell me how your treatment’s going. When is your next appointment?’
She stowed the suitcase in the boot and settled them both in their seats before her mother answered. ‘Three months. Dr Hadley is pleased with my progress. She told me to go to the local hospital if I have any pain, but she believes I’ve a good chance of being cancer-free now.’
‘I hope so.’ Welcome news and worth celebrating. Seeing her mother happy and coping with the long bus trip, Serena felt a weight lift from her shoulders.
‘So tell me about Mindalby. Have you found your father?’ Her mother’s tone was gentle, but the question was far from casual. When her mother’s treatment was at its worst stage and Serena feared she might lose her mother, she had raised the possibility of seeking her father. Their disagreement over undertaking the search was made stronger by the fact they so rarely argued over anything. At least, not since her mid-teen years.
‘Not yet, although I have identified several possibilities. Are you sure you can’t remember his name or anything else about him?’ Serena had doubted her mother’s persistent denials, claiming she’d met so many people it was impossible to remember them all.
‘You’ve never been to a music festival, have you, darling?’
‘You know I haven’t. That’s your thing.’ Keeping her eye out for a parking spot close to the cafe, she didn’t look at her mother.
Dawn sighed. ‘I was nineteen, caught up in the music, the atmosphere, and excited by the reception I got when I played. I met lots of young men, and I jammed with a number of them when we weren’t on stage. Remembering one young musician amongst all of them is a big ask.’
Serena parked the car and turned to her mother. ‘You slept with him, Mum. You must have liked him better than the others. Surely something about him stands out from the rest.’
Her mother leaned back in the seat and fiddled with her necklace, rubbing her fingers over the enamelled open-heart shape. ‘Of course I liked him. He had magic in him.’
‘Music magic?’ Both Paul’s father and uncle had some musical ability, and Josh was definitely a ladies’ man.
‘He sang with passion and when he looked at me, it was as if he looked into my soul.’
‘Did you … love him?’
‘In three days? Maybe. I felt a connection between us that was enough to draw me to his bed.’
‘Why didn’t you stay in touch?’
A sad smile touched her mother’s lips, and she turned to Serena. ‘We agreed to meet up on the last day of the festival near a certain landmark. I waited and waited until I had to go on stage to perform my final set. When I returned, there was no sign of him. Just this in a brown paper bag pinned to a tree with my name written on the front.’
Serena looked at the pendant as though seeing it for the first time. ‘My father gave it to you without leaving his name or address? I don’t think that’s very romantic.’
‘It was his token of love.’
‘How can you say that? Just because it’s a heart doesn’t mean—’
‘Not just any heart, darling. The outer shape is enamelled but the wiring within the border makes it a Celtic heart. Don’t you see, we sang Celtic love songs together.’
‘It still doesn’t mean he loved you.’ She clamped her mouth shut before she said something hurtful. Why was she dismissing her mother’s claims out of hand when she’d felt the pull of instant attraction to Paul?
‘No, you’re right. How can you fall in love in three days? I treasure this necklace, and the wonderful memory of our time together, but I haven’t missed out on love. I’ve had you in my life, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. Shall we have a cup of tea now?’ Her mother let the pendant drop into the folds of her scarf and opened the door.
Following her mother’s lead, Serena got out of the car and entered the small cafe, determined to pursue their conversation.
Dawn sat at a round table facing the window onto the street. As Serena took the chair opposite, ready to re-launch her interrogation, her mother’s pale face and the shadows that sat like bruises below her green eyes stopped the questions falling from her lips. ‘I’ll see if they have chamomile tea, Mum. And how about we share a lamington?’
***
Paul stood and lay down his tools, pleased with his effort. Stretching the kinks from his back, from several hours bent over the workbench, he strolled to the sink and switched on the kettle. He’d spent the morning online and on the phone to an old university friend in Sydney. Sam moved in similar circles to Max Zinsky and had promised to get back to Paul with whatever he could find about the journalist within a few days.
For the first
time in over a week the compulsion to create had drawn Paul back to work. Knowing Serena wasn’t in town had made it easier to focus and he’d worked nonstop through the afternoon.
He spooned coffee into a mug and glanced at the clock. Serena should have returned from Bourke by now. They’d agreed to wait until her mother had recovered from her trip before introducing her to Paul. Tomorrow, he had promised to work for the CWA on organising the picnic in the park. Knowing the people of Mindalby, the fundraiser for those affected by the mill closure would be well attended, but there were flyers to get printed and stalls to organise.
Emily had cleaned the Cotton Bale from top to bottom and a middle-aged couple had claimed one of the rooms after Warren Leadbeater approached him on their behalf. Les had worked as a mechanic at the mill after having been retrenched from his previous workplace. He and his wife had been living in a casual rental, which they were unable to pay for now the mill was closed.
Offering rooms in the old pub seemed like a small act on Paul’s part, but the couple were grateful. In exchange, they had begun to clear the grounds and had already recovered the garden into which Serena’s boots had sunk.
Last night, he’d lain awake mulling over Serena’s relationship with Max. For the life of him he couldn’t see why she had been attracted to the journalist. Dealing in secrets and the muck of people’s lives and splashing the details over the front page of newspapers was no way to make a living. The man dressed well, if not appropriately for the location, and the Audi he drove was an expensive hire car.
But he’d looked at Serena as though she were a trophy to be won at any cost.
Aside from that, Zinsky’s parting comment to Serena worried him. Had he imagined malice in the man’s tone? Did he think he had a chance at getting Serena back?
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Instinct was his mother’s domain, along with second sight and tarot cards. So why couldn’t he get it out of his head that whatever Max meant, it threatened Serena?
He wiped his hands on a rag and reached down to pat Jack, who was leaning against his leg and quivering.
Quivering? Paul dropped to one knee and examined Jack’s face. Cloudy eyes looked back at him and Jack whimpered and licked Paul’s chin. ‘What’s up, old fella? Are you cold? It’s not exactly warm in here, is it? Come on back to bed and I’ll find another blanket for you.’ He coaxed Jack onto the dog bed and covered him with a soft blanket before fetching a chicken neck from the fridge. Holding it near Jack’s nose, Paul offered his favourite food. Jack licked the chicken and Paul’s hand before dropping his head on his paws. The treat lay within reach of his nose, but Jack didn’t make a move to retrieve it. Stroking Jack’s head, a lump like a ball of lead settled in Paul’s stomach. He reached for his mobile and scrolled through for the vet’s number.
Doug Preston answered on the third ring. ‘What’s up, Paul?’
‘Jack isn’t looking too flash. Can I bring him in?’
‘Sure. Reception’s closed for the night so come straight round the back. I’ll be waiting.’
Gently, Paul wrapped Jack in a blanket and carried him to the ute. Five minutes later, he pulled in beside a large, green plastic water tank at the rear of the surgery.
Doug opened the back door and ushered them in out of the wind. ‘Put him on the table and let’s have a look at him.’
Paul set Jack on the stainless steel examination table and stroked his head. Jack gave a solitary wag of his tail but was otherwise still. ‘He’s off his food and he doesn’t seem to have any energy.’
Doug set his stethoscope on Jack’s chest, felt his stomach, and checked his gums. After several minutes, Doug patted Jack as he met Paul’s gaze. ‘I’d like to put him on a drip. He’s dehydrated and you can see his gums are pale. They should be pink. How old is he—fifteen, sixteen?’
‘Nearly seventeen. What—’ Jack had been his best mate since he’d been in primary school. Alongside Hayden, they’d ventured all over the farm and camped innumerable times on the riverbank. It was unthinkable that Jack might not be in his life. He forced the words out. ‘Do you think it’s his time?’
‘Maybe. Let’s keep him in overnight with fluids and reassess in the morning.’
‘I don’t want him to be in pain.’
‘He won’t be. So we’ll go with the drip now. I’ll be back around seven in the morning if you want to come in and see him then. Okay?’
Paul swallowed with difficulty and stroked Jack’s head. ‘Okay. Thanks, Doug.’
The vet shaved a small patch on Jack’s leg and inserted a cannula, then turned away and busied himself at the drugs cabinet, setting up a bag and several pieces of surgical tape.
Paul rested his cheek on the glossy black and white head. It seemed inconceivable that the bundle of energy that had been his childhood companion could be lying listless on the table.
Tonight was the beginning of the end. In his heart, he knew this was goodbye. ‘Sleep easy, old fella. I’ll be back in the morning.’
With heavy heart, he walked out the back door and climbed into his ute. Vision blurring, he sat and remembered Jack as a tiny puppy falling asleep on his lap, then, as he grew, Jack chasing hares through the cotton and returning hours later and flopping across his feet, exhausted, but not too tired for a game of tug.
Jack wasn’t going to make it through the night.
Chapter Fourteen
‘Dawn, it’s great to see you again. How are you?’ Max gave Serena’s mother a peck on the cheek and sat, uninvited, at their table in Joe’s Café. He leaned his arms on the table and offered his sociable smile.
‘How … interesting to see you out of the city, Max. Following a story, are you?’ Dawn moved her arm away from Max’s, picked up her cup and sipped.
‘Why else would I leave Sydney for the back of beyond? Of course, if I’d known I’d meet Serena here, I’d have been happier about the assignment.’ Max caught Beryl’s eye and ordered a cappuccino.
‘Why?’ Dawn beat Serena to the question that had plagued her since Max’s appearance at the pub.
He spread his hands and shrugged, the gesture all too familiar. Serena hated it. He’d used it when they argued, his way of saying he was a reasonable man doing his best to understand why she disagreed with him. Max had always claimed the moral high ground. ‘We had something good going.’
‘I wasn’t the one who walked out.’ She measured the memory of his departure and her sense of loss against the reality of the man sitting across the table. Charm and fierce intelligence didn’t outweigh moodiness and a shallow disposition. Her only regret was that she hadn’t been the one to leave him. ‘Not that it matters now.’
‘That wasn’t my finest hour. In my defence, I was under a lot of pressure at work. But I’m man enough to admit when I’ve made a mistake, and leaving you was a mistake.’
‘When you walked out the door, you told me we had no future together if you weren’t the most important person in my life. What do you think has changed?’
‘I didn’t realise how ill Dawn was at the time. You always said people deserve a second chance, or don’t you practise what you preach?’
Dawn got to her feet, an expression in her eyes Serena couldn’t recall seeing before. ‘Excuse me while I check out the cakes in the cabinet.’ Wrinkling her nose as though an acrid smell had assaulted her senses, Dawn made her way to the counter where Beryl lurked, wiping mugs and stacking them beside the coffee machine, and began a conversation with the waitress.
Meeting Max’s gaze, Serena pinned him with a look she was sure reflected her mother’s. ‘And just who deserves a second chance in this scenario of yours, Max? Because I’m certain I don’t need one.’
‘Of course you don’t, but you said you loved me, and love forgives. Can you forgive me my lapse in judgement?’ There it was—the wide arms, palms up, that proclaimed his reasonableness. His innocence. His willingness to show he was the bigger person. ‘I want you back, Reeny.’
There had to be more to Max’s plea for forgiveness but for the life of her she couldn’t work out why it was important to him.
She took a serviette from the metal box on the table and wiped away water droplets while she played for time.
Max had been surprised to see her so he hadn’t come with expectations of making up, but once he’d seen her he’d begun an assault worthy of the siege of Troy. A focused and wholly baffling attempt to win her affections back.
Why?
Did he really love her? Emily’s comment ran through her mind. About her abusive boyfriend’s verbal taunts showing he didn’t care. Max wasn’t physically abusive, but hadn’t he done something similar in stripping away her self-confidence, in showing her she didn’t measure up to his reasonable standards? If Max had ever loved her, she had to remember his love was toxic to her.
‘We’re past that stage.’
‘Oh, I don’t think so. We’ve got a future together. I’m sure you’ll agree I can offer you everything you want. More than most men could offer.’
Did he mean Paul?
Was Max jealous of her relationship with the man who could be her cousin? It was ironic, but she wouldn’t share that with Max. But while Max was in town, it appeared he wouldn’t object if she spent time with him. Was she being two-faced or only doing what Max had done to her? Serena fiddled with the paper packets of sugar, uncomfortable with her choice but unsure what else to do.
‘I’m not particularly interested in material possessions.’
‘You always were … unusual that way. Maybe it’s just as well. Most people want more than they have. But everyone wants something. You, for instance, want to find your father. That’s the reason for this little jaunt, isn’t it?’
Answering his question was irrelevant. Her open mouth and stunned silence were answer enough.
A smile tugged one side of his mouth. ‘Did you forget you told me before you left the apartment? It’s interesting what information comes to light when you start asking the right questions.’
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