I stand up. Jordan follows me and we head toward the house.
“I need to go find a hotel room.” Jordan is still holding my hand.
“Why?”
“Well, I don’t feel like sleeping in the car.” He tilts his head.
“Jordan,” I shake my head. “You can stay at the house. I’m not that big of a bitch.” I pull my hand softly from his grasp and walk inside.
I stroll over to the kitchen and grab a glass. I let the cold water run for a second before filling the glass and gulping down half of it. I don’t turn around because I can feel Jordan’s heat from where I’m standing. I sit the glass down and grip countertop. He is getting closer and the tension in the air turns from quiet to sexual.
Jordan’s chest is now touching my back, and he slowly traces my wrists with his fingertips. His touch scorches my skin as he begins to trail up my arms. I shiver and tilt my head to the left. Jordan’s lips ever so softly brush my ear and he gently sucks my ear lobe. My knees go weak, and I think they might buckle. He pushes his hips forward, and I’m pinned between him and the counter.
“Let me love you.” His hot breath tickles my skin. “Let me love you like I’ve done before. Let me take away the pain for the night.”
I didn’t have to think about the answer. “Yes,” I moan.
Jordan spins me around and ravages my lips. The first time Jordan kissed me was magical, and it’s the same now. He picks me up and sits me on the counter. I dig my nails into his neck as he does the same to my thighs. The one thing I quickly learned about Jordan the first time we had sex together is he likes it a little rough and he knows how to pleasure me at the same time.
“I want you in our bed,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Yes,” I breathe out.
He tucks his arms under my thighs and back and picks me up. I love his strength. We continue to kiss as he makes his way to the bedroom. He releases my legs and gently places on my feet. He takes a small step back, turns on the light, and stares at me. We’re both breathing heavily.
I make the quick decision to leave all my feelings, pain, and confusion at the door. Tonight, I’m going to enjoy Jordan and the night of normalcy. I think back to the first time we had sex; it’ll be fun to bring back some of my old moves.
I take a step back and tug off my shirt and shorts in a quick motion. I’m standing in front of him in my bra and string bikini underwear. Jordan looks me up and down licking his lip. Oh, I do love his tongue. I reach behind and unhook my bra and toss it to the side. I pop my hip out, placing my hand on it.
“Are you going to make me undress you, too? I didn’t peg you as a lazy man in bed,” I tease him.
“Oh, I’m not.” He yanks his shirt over his head, and I falter for a quick second seeing his tattoos. I push it away and focus on his brown eyes. When I see him drop his jeans, he’s more than ready for me, and seeing it only gets me wetter.
So much for looking in his eyes.
He’s on me before I can blink, and we’re on the bed with me flat on my back. He pins my hands above my head, and I know they’ll only be there for a moment. He kisses me down my neck and chest. He releases my hands and works his lips and tongue down my stomach before he takes off my underwear.
As Jordan assaults me with his fingers and tongue, I feel the fire in my belly about to blow. It’s been so long since feeling him on me. I would never admit to him that when I masturbate, I think of him. He’d never let me live it down.
“Jordan!” I yell out his name as my body shakes with the release of pleasure.
He comes back up to my lips and kisses me hard. “I’m not done yet.”
I giggle as I help him work out of his boxer briefs. I want to taste him too, but Jordan continues to take over, and I’m fine with it. Our bodies rock and slap together throughout the rest of the night. Just when I think he’s done, he starts back up. I’d forgotten how great his stamina is when he’s extremely horny.
The last time, I’m on top and the more Jordan moans my name, the harder I rock against him until I scream and fall onto his chest. I can’t move; my body is completely spent with the pleasure we’ve given each other.
I don’t even realize I’ve fallen asleep until I wake up in Jordan’s arms. The comfort and warmth makes me smile. When was the last time I smiled? I look up and see Jordan’s peaceful face and the faint smile on his face. All the love swells through me thinking this could be us forever.
My heart stops. I can’t be back in love with Jordan. I can’t… God, I am. I never stopped. The tears burn my eyes. I can’t do this to him or us. I’m not able to give him the perfect life he wants.
I ease out of his arms and grab my clothes. I swiftly get dressed, but just before I leave, I lean over and give him the softest kiss on his tender lips.
“I love you,” I whisper, and then I rush out the door to my car and head back to Tennessee.
***
WITHOUT OPENING MY eyes, I just know she’s gone. If she were still here, she’d be in bed with me. Disappointment filters through me as I open my eyes to confirm it. Somehow, I can’t be too upset because I was able to have one night with her. I’m so happy about that, even if she did leave.
Sighing, I throw the covers to the side and get dressed. I need to head out so I can make it back to Memphis. We have a home game tonight, and then I’m flying out for three days. I think Gemma and Sam are coming back over once I return, but I’m not sure. They just hop back and forth when they feel like it.
On the flight home, I try to figure out why she might have left. Did she get her night of normalcy and leave because it was over? Did she leave because it was amazing and felt so good to be us again and she couldn’t handle it? With Heidi, who knows?
I can’t help but feel like I made progress. In all the time since Eden died, Heidi has been different, often unrecognizable from the woman I married. Last night? Last night, I was with my wife. If I weren’t, we never would have made it through dinner. That small bit of progress makes me want to puff my chest in accomplishment and gives me the renewed energy to keep fighting for us. It’s like one small step for Heidi, one giant leap for Jordan.
The jet lands with just enough time for me to make it to the field for pregame activities. There are a few questioning glances from most of the guys, considering I up and left Tanner’s party without a word to anyone other than Sofia and Blake. Thankfully, there isn’t any time for anyone to ask questions, especially Colby because out of everyone here, he would want to know what’s up.
We stretch and warm up, throwing the ball to one another to loosen up. There’s a slight pep in my step, and I just know that no matter the outcome of the game, I’ll go home in a mostly good mood.
It’s as if that single thought jinxes us. Felix is off his game, Blake is pissier than usual, and as a whole, we’re not playing anywhere near our best. We’re down by six runs at the end of the second inning. We’re missing the target when we make our throws; our gloves have butter or something in them on the occasional catches because no one can manage a grip. Fans aren’t happy, not that I can blame them.
Negativity fills the dugout, and Hector is the only one with a smile on his face as he slaps our shoulders and jokes around. Around the fourth inning, we’re able to regain some of our footing, but it’s not enough to turn the game around. Sometimes, it feels like losses like tonight are more tiring than those hard-fought wins. I’m exhausted from my mini trip and the game, and I’m eager to crawl into my bed.
I’ve just walked into the house when I remember I promised Heidi I would check out her car. After grabbing the spare set of keys, I get right back in my car and drive to her salon. The car is alone, so I’m able to park next to it. Hopefully, I can discover the issue quickly because if there’s anything I’ll need from the store, I’ll need to get it before they close.
She needs a new battery, so I go and get one, texting Colby and asking if I can pick him up for a quick favor. At first, I was just going to leave the c
ar at the salon and text her that it’s fixed, but I don’t think I’ll let her off the hook that easily. Not after she left. So once I have the battery and have picked up Colby, we head to the salon.
“How’s the online dating going?” I ask.
Colby heavily sighs. “I’d have better luck picking a random person from a crowd and marrying them.”
I chuckle. “That bad?”
He glances at me. “I had one girl in her early twenties message me, asking if I could be her sugar daddy.”
I bust out laughing, trying to imagine Colby as one of those men. “And you turned her down? Was she hot?”
“I didn’t reply and yeah, she was pretty. Where did you disappear to at Tanner’s party?”
Immediately, I sober. “I went to South Carolina.” That’s all I say. He knows what South Carolina means to me, and he doesn’t need to know Heidi was there. I don’t want to get into it.
Colby mentions her anyway. “How’s it going with Heidi? Is it some sort of good sign that you’re fixing her car?”
“No, it’s not. I heard it was messed up, so I told her I would look at it. Nothing’s changed with her. Not enough anyway.” I close the hood with a thud. “Follow me to her place and then I’ll let you get back to being a sugar daddy.”
He shakes his head at me and promptly ignores me. I get into Heidi’s car. It doesn’t take too long to reach where she lives. I hold my finger up to Colby as I get out and head up to her door, letting him know I’ll be just a minute. I rap on the door and wait.
It slowly opens until Heidi is standing on the other side, her jaw hanging, and her face pale. “Jordan. What are you doing here?”
She probably thinks it has to do with this morning, but it doesn’t. I’ve decided not to mention it at all. I need to pick my battles with Heidi, and there are too many bigger ones on my hands for me to get pissed she left me, especially when she’d said only a night.
“Your car is fixed.” I hold up her keys. “I thought I would bring it back here for you, and I figured you would want the spare keys back anyway.”
“Oh.” She almost sounds…disappointed? God, this woman is driving me crazy. “Thanks.” She reaches for the keys, being careful not to touch my hand as she takes them.
“You’re welcome. In the future, if Sam is around, you’ll have to ask him to look at it for you.” If she follows through, she won’t have me around to take care of it for her. I know I’m going to fight like hell for us until it’s officially over, but I need to try to brace myself, and her, for the alternative. Call me cocky or whatever you want, but I don’t think Heidi has truly realized what will happen and all the changes to come if she gets the divorce. How pathetic am I that I want to prepare my possibly soon-to-be-ex-wife for life without me? “I need to go.” I turn and leave her standing there. The pain of being around her is too much.
After dropping Colby off at his house, I go home. My stupid head is full of thoughts and scenarios of what might happen. Is Heidi going to stay in Memphis? Or try to open a salon in South Carolina? Where am I going to be once I eventually retire? South Carolina is no longer an option because it’s where I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with Heidi. I can’t retire there now. I shouldn’t worry about it yet, considering I still have a ways to go before that happens.
Either way, my life is going to be a hell of a lot more lonely, dull, and sucky without her.
***
IT’S BEEN FOUR days since Jordan left my apartment. I’m having trouble sleeping and eating. It’s because the feelings I’ve been hiding from everyone and myself are rearing their ugly head up. I need to keep them away, especially right now.
“Come on, Heidi. We’ve got to move.” Skye tugs on my arm, and I shake my thoughts away.
The girls and I are at the one of the largest beauty conventions and we have a prime spot in the thick of it all. Hair, nails, makeup, beauty products, if you can name it, it’s here. I’m working with the girls to get our section ready. Colette and Kassy are straightening everything up, while Skye and I hide the extras under the table.
All day long, people begin to filter through. My girls and I do nothing, but smile, laugh, and shake hands with every single person that comes to our table. Kassy books appointments for potential clients. I’m sure they’re only doing it because I’m giving a massive discount for new customers, but I think it’s working by the people showing up at our table.
Six hours fly by and soon, the girls and I are packing it all back up, albeit much less than what we started with.
“Excuse me.”
I look up to see a handsome guy staring back at me. He looks to be about my age and could be a model.
“Yes. May I help you?” I stare into his deep blue eyes.
“I’m Eric Pads. I’m the owner of Pads Exclusive Salon.”
“Oh.” My heart skips a bit. Pads is the biggest salon in Tennessee and he’s still expanding. “I’m Heidi Johnson, owner of Above a Dream Salon. It’s a real pleasure to met you.” I hold out my hand.
“Great to meet you, too. I’m hearing you’re the new up and comer.” His blue eyes sparkle.
“That’s our girl,” Skye chimes in.
“No. No. I’m just a business owner.” I wave my hand. I wish I were the half the owner he is.
“Listen,” he leans in a bit. “A bunch of us owners are heading over to Big Blue to unwind. I think you should come; it’ll be great for you to network.”
My mouth falls a bit. “Sure. Yes. I’d love to,” I ramble. “What time?”
“We are heading there now. So, we’ll see you when we get there.”
“I’ll be there.” I smile as he nods and heads out. I turn to the girls and they all have the same excited expression I’m wearing. This is a huge deal.
“Why are you still standing here?” Kassy asks. “Get your ass over to Big Blue.” She points to the door.
“I have to—”
“No!” All three of them shout at me.
“Okay. Okay.” I grab my purse and head out to my car.
Once I’m in the car, I grab my phone. Jordan won’t believe this. I stop. Jordan? My husband. My soon-to-be ex-husband. There’s no need to call him. We’re over. I’m okay with it. He needs to move on, and I’m glad he’s accepting it. I think about his last letter and how it’s killing him that I’m divorcing him.
A lot has changed within a week. We’ve had our closure and now it’s time to pick up the pieces and move on. I stare at my phone for another moment before I place it back into my purse and drive over to Big Blue.
This is known to be a popular bar, but I haven’t been inside it. I know the Angels hang out here from time to time. I also know they are in town because Mom and Dad are having dinner with Jordan tonight. At least I know he won’t be here.
I hope.
I walk up to the bar, order a screwdriver, and pay for it before I search for Eric and whoever else is here. It doesn’t take a more than a moment to spot Eric. He’s tall, but not as tall as Jordan. That is another thing I love about Jordan. He’s tall and has muscles everywhere. Stop it I tell myself as Eric waves me down. I smile and weave through the crowd.
“You made it pretty fast.”
“Yes,” I say. “The girls can handle finishing up everything.” Spoken like a true boss, but I feel bad at the same time.
“Well, let me introduce you.” Eric places his hand on the small of my back as he guides me to a circle of about eight other people. It’s a who’s who of the beauty industry. Big names from New York City and Los Angeles to regional high-end names. I’m fangirling everywhere on the inside and do my best to keep the exterior calm and posed.
Until we started doing shots.
I know my limit, and I’ve never been one to drink a lot, but it’s as if I’m a teenager, and I want to be part of the cool kids at school.
We talk about our salons, how we started, where we went to school, and of course I blurt out how I want to be like them.
; Yep, fangirling.
I finally feel extremely dizzy, and I know I need to stop drinking. I excuse myself to get a bottle of water. I quickly chug it, hoping the table doesn’t see me, and I order another one.
“You okay?” Eric asks. He’s close enough that I can smell the whiskey on his breath.
I nod and scoot down toward the end of bar, where there’s more room to breathe and put some space between us. “I’m great. I’m having an outstanding time. Thank you so much for inviting me.”
“It’s no big deal.”
“Why did you? I mean there were others besides me at the convention.”
Eric chuckles. “You don’t know?”
I shake my head.
“Well, you’re hot, and I was trying to hit on you at the table, but seemed to be failing miserably at it because you weren’t paying attention to me. Plus, your salon is kicking ass lately and I think you need some more connections.”
My mouth falls open at both statements. “You were flirting with me? Why?”
Eric laughs loudly this time. “I already said you’re hot.”
“Thanks,” I say automatically. Apparently, I fail at flirting, too. I feel sick to my stomach when Jordan pops in my head. “I’m not really interested in anything right now.”
“And why is that?”
“I’m in the middle of a divorce.” It’s the first time I’ve said divorce to someone other than my family and co-workers. I usually tell everyone I’m separated from Jordan, or it’s complicated. My insides flip flop, and there’s a disgusting taste in my mouth at the word.
“Well, if it helps, I’m not looking for a relationship, and it wouldn’t be the first time I was someone’s rebound.” He gives me a sly smile, but it makes him look like a jerk more than cute.
“I’m not looking for anything,” I answer him. Who says they’re okay being a rebound?
“Maybe this will change your mind.”
Before I can protest or move away, Eric grabs the back of my neck and yanks me towards his mouth. I clamp my mouth shut because all that runs through me is: Jordan doesn’t kiss like this and Jordan knows how to flirt with women.
Jordan Page 8
