by Pamela Ann
Loving Lily
(Lily’s Mistake)
Pamela Ann
Loving Lily
(Lily’s Mistake)
Copyright © 2014 by Pamela Ann
All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without a written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
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“Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could avoid it; it is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear.”
- Charlotte Brontë
My Destiny
Drake
All my life, I had known Lily was the woman who had the power to hurt me, bring me to my knees, and squash any hopes I had. At a very young age, I knew it very well.
My parents did, too. So did Lily.
For years, I ran away from this fate—my destiny—hoping I could change it, shape it as my own, and not let anyone dictate me.
I succeeded in this, for a while anyway.
Then Mexico happened.
It threw me in a loop of lust, fighting the inevitable. Her eyes held so much love. Her voice showed so much tenderness that it scared me away. All of my fears came crashing down on me and I panicked.
I left her … after our first night … with a heavy heart.
I thought that, since I had become successful in avoiding her before, I could do so again, and I did.
However, from time to time, Lily would flitter through my thoughts at the oddest moments. In my dreams, she was alive. She came to life.
Those times, though I wouldn’t admit it out loud, I looked forward to them. In my dreams, I could open myself—my heart—to the one woman who had called on me.
Despite knowing the inevitable, I still strayed. Then the day came when I saw her in the flesh, and I knew the time came to man up and face her as well as our fate was at hand.
So much has happened since then. So much pain and heartache, yet there was also tremendous happiness. We might have lost a lot of time, even our precious little one, but we had also gained an abundance.
With our love, I believed we could endure whatever life threw at us. With our love, we could fight battles that came our way. With our love, we would flourish, grow with the knowledge that we could overcome anything as a unit.
And with my undying love, I would always stand by my wife.
Through thick and thin.
Through light and dark.
Through sickness and health.
She and I were destined for each other.
Lily Alexander Tatum, my life was in the palm of her hand.
Chapter One
Drake
Life had a funny way of reminding a mere mortal how precious it was by just sitting in the hospital waiting area. It let one absorb all the cold, immaculate white walls; the hush tones of medical personnel discussing another person’s unfortunate circumstances; the blatant, worrisome faces that marred the people, silently praying for a miracle on the other side of those swinging double doors, where humans played with fate.
As I waited there with my mother and Lily, we all held each other’s hands. Entwined with worry and bound by our love of my father whose life was hanging on a precipice, we found ourselves hoping he’d gather enough strength to push through the life-changing operation.
Looking over at my loving wife’s beautiful face, I didn’t need for her to tell me what other worries she had in that gorgeous head of hers—being there, in the same hospital where I had fought my own fate and she had lost our baby. There were times when I blamed myself for the unfortunate circumstance, but every time it happened, I told myself the car accident hadn’t been my fault, either. It was just one of those things that life had thrown our way, a sick joke if you will. It had toyed with our minds and emotions, just wanting to see how far it could push us, how strong we could be. After making it through those things, I tried to convince myself that Lily and I were young, and one of these days, we were likely to conceive since we hadn’t really been meticulous when it came to protection. We were leaving it to chance and praying it granted us a baby.
Gripping Lily’s hand harder than before, I saw her give me a saddened smile before she lifted our entwined hands, leaving a soft kiss on the back of my own, sending her love in her own cute way.
Looking over at her, I had one of those moments when I wondered how in the world it had taken me this long to go after her. All my life, I knew she and I were bound to be together. Maybe it was the rebellious part of me that wanted to prove something to her and my parents, that I could very well choose my own partner—my wife. However, it was hard to resist her when she looked so unattainable, so distant, and so fucking sexy that I simply couldn’t get her out of my head. It was as if her immediate, hateful resistance of me brought out the man I was trying to hide from her in all that time. She brought out the possessive, dominant side, leaving nothing until I fully had her, writhing and moaning my name. Until she fully knew herself that she belonged to me, not that Jared fella or any other man, only me—Drake Tatum.
I never considered myself an overly possessive man, but once Lily came back into my life, well … Let’s just say she gave me a run for my money. She scared me shitless when she announced her pregnancy. Up until then, I hadn’t really considered fatherhood that seriously. Of course, I knew I wanted to be a father someday, but there was nothing more daunting than having that thought brought to your attention in such a manner—surprise pregnancies. I was almost one hundred percent sure had the very same reaction as most men out there who weren’t ready to become daddies.
But, after Lily’s miscarriage, I had never been more enthusiastic at the thought of having my own child, my own flesh and blood. Made from our love and devotion, a baby that was half hers and half mine. It couldn’t get any better than that.
Hearing her melancholy sigh, I leaned over to whisper into her ear, “Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee perhaps?”
She gave me a wan smile. “I’m fine. How about your mom?” She directed my mother a consoling look. “Can Drake get you anything to drink?”
“Coffee will do.” Her worrisome eyes looked haunted. “I think I might need an extra boost to wait out Hugh’s operation. I don’t need myself falling asleep.”
“Why don’t you go? I’ll stay with your mom.” Lily’s hand gripped my arm before she pressed her soft lips upon my cheek, whispering, “Call my mom, too. If she’s not picking up, just leave a voicemail, okay?”
Kissing her forehead, I nodded before setting off towards the cafeteria.
My mother looked beyond apprehensive. I was, too. Deep down, though, I also knew my father was a bull and would pull through this like he always did.
Just as Lily anticipated, her mother’s phone didn’t pick up, so after grabbing three steaming cups of coffee, I headed back towards the waiting room area. I knew Lily didn’t want any yet thought better of it. Heck, we all needed something to do other than being in a state of shock, even if that meant she had to sip coffee.
My father’s operation took about five, rigorous hours. Even though the team of doctors that operated on him informed us that it was a success, my mother was still on pins and needles, endlessly crying as if my father was already dying.
“Mom, Dad won’t
be too happy seeing you like this.” I gave her a hug, telling her what my father would say the moment he opened his sharp eyes. He loved my mother yet hated it when she cried. I wasn’t sure what it was about tears and women, but that shit seriously never failed to go straight to my heart. I immediately felt like the ultimate bastard when I made Lily cry or any woman, for that matter.
My mom barely acknowledged me as she sat herself on a cushion situated next to my father’s bed. I offered to stay, but upon seeing Lily’s clearly exhausted face, I knew I should take care of my wife first.
“I’m going to take Lily home, Mom, if that’s okay with you?”
“Of course, dear. The poor thing had a long day, as did you. Go home.” She genuinely smiled at me, her face brightening. “Please make sure to come with breakfast tomorrow. Your father won’t be happy with the food here, that’s for sure.”
My father and his meticulous, expensive taste in food, I mused, nodding towards my mom before walking to where Lily looked as if she could barely keep her eyes open. It was about two in the morning, and with her early schedule, it was no wonder she was ready to hit the sack.
“Come on, babe. Time to take you to bed.”
She shook her head, sending some of her strands from her loosened bun cascading. “No, no—am okay. I can drive still. Why don’t you go ahead and stay with Patricia?”
As much as I loved my parents, my wife came first. “My mother will be fine,” I reassured her before placing my hand gently on her elbow. “Trust me, she’s going to be fine. You, on the other hand, look like you’re in desperate need of sleep.”
She appeared to contemplate my argument before finally giving in to my request, but that was before asking my mother first, only then did she oblige my request. After five minute or so of reassuring each other that, if there was an emergency, my mother would immediately contact us, we headed out the room and haggardly strode into the banks of elevators.
Catching Lily make a small, cute yawn, I rested my arm around her shoulder, pressing her closer to me. “How was your day? You look exhausted, more than usual.”
It was right around that time the elevator pinged, announcing its arrival. Lily made a sour face the moment we stepped into the cart, and I thought then that she was trying to ease her allergies. However, when we stepped out of the elevator and out of the hospital building, she didn’t look that much better, and I started to become concerned.
“Lil?”
She released a strangled sound, as if she was dying or something. “The elevator and that smell—UGH! I can’t stand it,” she vehemently cursed the air, as she tried to heave in small pants.
“What?” I asked, perplexed as I looked back at the building, hoping to recall smelling anything foul, which I couldn’t.
She started to fan herself, appearing a shade paler than her normal pallor. “It’s just too much. I think the bed sounds great, actually,” she grumbled before she gave me a pleading look.
“Oh, Lil, you should’ve said something sooner that you were sick. Had I known, I wouldn’t have let you stay here with us all night.” Taking her in my arms, past caring that I was carrying my wife in the hospital parking lot, I immediately felt wretched for not detecting that she wasn’t feeling well. “Time to take you home, beautiful wife of mine,” I murmured just as I heard her release a sigh of relief before sagging into my shoulder. “Hang on to me while I fish my keys out of my pocket.” She nodded while I used all of my strength to hold her with one arm while I took my keys out and then unlocked the car.
After carefully placing her in the passenger seat, securing the seatbelt and shutting the door, I rounded the car to go into the driver’s seat. I made another worrisome glance at her before starting the engine.
Chapter Two
Drake
The next morning, I woke up with Lily almost dashing out of the bathroom, scurrying to get to work and barely giving me a goodbye kiss.
“Good morning to you, too,” I murmured before wishing her a lovely time at work.
A part of me wanted to chase after her to get one more satisfying kiss in since little missy there passed out on me last night and could barely kiss me at all. I was a needy husband who enjoyed my wife; I wasn’t ashamed to admit that. Although, if I did carry on with my wants, I would find myself late, and today of all days, I couldn’t, since Katie Fullerton was to start her internship with me. And I was almost positive her father would join us for the quick office orientation and catch up.
There was a movie project that the company would fund, and I just got Bass Cole and Emma Anderson to star in the film. It was quite a feat since Emma had decided to take some time off from acting, but after applying my very best negotiating skills, I got the golden couple to sign with me. I only needed Paul Fullerton’s extra funding to scout for directors.
The studio would have all the power to do as they pleased once I found an outstanding director to get on board. It was a tough project since I hadn’t really been this hands-on before, and Hugh, my father, used to simply sign the check and be done with it. That wasn’t how I ran things, though. I needed to know every aspect of our business. Since funding movies was one of our major divisions, and with the economy still on the outs as well as more movie online streaming competition, I felt we needed to make sure the money we invested was making movies of quality, headlining brilliant actors and actresses who were sure to deliver. What we did not need were B-grade actors who would do whatever it took to get there, be it sleeping with the director or their bitch for the entire filming duration. I would not tolerate that behavior on my watch and not with the company’s money at stake.
It was time consuming, but I believed that every venture our company took needed my one hundred percent attention. With my father’s recent medical problem, I was sure it would put more on my plate. I, of course, didn’t mind. I just hoped Lily would understand when there were more late nights of business dinners and events. With her hectic schedule, it would put a strain on her sleeping pattern.
It took me about thirty minutes to have a toasted onion bagel along with coffee as I went through emails and messages and then drew out my clothes from the closet for the day. Multi-tasking was taught to me early on. Sometimes, I would catch Lily frowning at me, wondering aloud how in the world I managed the things I did. I had to give credit where it was due. It was my father’s strength and persistent “training” of me since childhood. He had once argued that I would be a man someday, and that carried a lot of responsibility. Men were supposed to be in charge, to easily take-on most things without losing steam. Furthermore, when certain situations arose, a man was required to think of a solution without losing his balance or authority.
Hugh believed in tough love, but never had I thought once that the man didn’t love me. Whatever he did, I knew he loved me more than anything. He might not have been there all the time for sports or school festivities, but the times that he was, he gave me his full attention. I never doubted him. I was one of those kids who never understood parental issues, because I was showered with love, even if my father wasn’t always there. That was one of the reasons I was confident in raising a child—I felt I would be the same. Besides, with Lily’s guidance and love as well as our parents, our children wouldn’t want for anything.
By nine forty-five, I was dashing out the door, ready to get on with my day. I had to call my assistant Mindy to inform her that I was heading to the hospital before the office.
Upon disconnecting the call, another call came through, and I took it without glancing at the caller ID, a massive mistake on my part.
“Hi, Drake. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it, babe?”
I wouldn’t necessarily say chills went down my spine the moment I heard Shannon’s voice, but there was some odd tingling, and it wasn’t the good kind.
“How are things, Shannon? Guess you finally got out of the psych ward…?” I trailed off, worrying about whether or not she truly was better. I wasn’t the kind of man who was easily sh
aken by such things; however, when she came into my house, wanting to do God knew what to Lily, it was one of those moments where it didn’t matter if the culprit was a man or woman, one must do anything at any cost to protect someone you care about. Had I known she was going to go bat-shit crazy, I would have made sure I changed my security code at the same time I took back what I thought were her only set of keys.
Who could have imagined a grown woman would go berserk once the relationship ended? It was frightening to see that happen. It was much like in the movies, but in real life, your heart pounded ten times harder and the anxiety was much more severe.
“I did … finally,” she drawled. “So, when do you think we can meet up for drinks? We both know you and I have a lot to … discuss.”
She and I had absolutely nothing to discuss under any circumstances. However, since the person on the other end of the line had a tendency to go bonkers, and I didn’t want to risk another one of those colorful episodes ever happening with Lily, I had to choose my words carefully.
“I’m busy with projects at the moment, Shannon. But thank you for asking. Someday, perhaps.” Or maybe never. I didn’t want to be too harsh, though. It was sad that I wanted to be severe to her since it wasn’t that long ago that I had planned on marrying her upon learning she was carrying my child. Well, the faux baby she had been carrying at that time.
There was a long stretch of silence, making me wonder what was going on in that troubled mind of hers.
“We need to talk, Drake!” she finally pressed on, sounding more agitated. “If I say we need to talk, we have to fucking talk. How hard is that to understand?”
There it was. She had finally broke.
“Okay, I’ll give you five minutes of my precious time since you’re so bent on ‘wanting to talk with me.’ The clock starts right now.” The hospital was about a five minute drive, depending on traffic. Given that there was still a slight effect of the morning’s rush hour, I would say it would take me ten minutes to get there.
