by Tasha Jones
“Let’s get out to that ranch.”
We got in the yellow truck Murphy had lent us. It was even worse in daylight, and the inside smelled like feet. But it was clean as far as I could tell, and it would get the job done.
The ranch was on the other side of the Guadalupe River and we reached it in no time. The gates were expensive looking, with new paint and a wooden sign across the top that read ‘We’re all wild at HART here.’
“Cute,” Aaron said.
“Cheesy,” I agreed.
“Hart… warming.”
I punched him in the shoulder. “Stop it.”
He chuckled and we pulled up in front of the farm house. The door swung open and a round woman that looked to be in her mid-forties bounded out.
“Welcome, welcome,” she said, a wide smile plastered across her face. Her hair was set in a low bun in her neck and she wore a brown dress with an apron. “Can I call someone to take your luggage?”
“No, we’re not here to visit the ranch. Mrs.…?”
“You can call me Maggie,” she said, patting my arm.
‘Right. Maggie. I’m Tamika Davis, and this is Aaron Findley. We’re here on behalf of Miss Bloom to take care of the deceased’s estate.”
Maggie leaned forward, her ear towards me. I assumed I had to repeat.
“In event of Mr. Hart’s death we’ve come to take care of debts and taxes.”
Maggie’s neck stiffened and she folded her hands in front of her stomach. She looked from me to Aaron.
“Does Vanessa know about this?” she asked.
“She does,” I said. “We’ll just need access to the office, if you don’t mind.”
“I’ll just go on in and make a call, if you don’t mind,” Maggie said. Her tone wasn’t as jovial and welcoming as before.
“Sociable woman, isn’t she?” Aaron said dryly when Maggie had disappeared inside. I rolled my eyes and turned to look at the ranch. It was well maintained, with a garden rich with flowers and trees around the house. The rolling fields around it were green, and I could hear cows in the distance. A barn was off to my right, like something from a movie. It looked freshly varnished and spotless.
“I wonder what kind of staff they employ to keep this place up,” I said.
“Why?”
I looked at Aaron. He was city boy all the way.
“Ranches don’t look like this as a rule. This is a tourist attraction for city folk who want a taste of the ‘wild west’. This isn’t wild at all.”
Maggie came from the house, interrupting our conversation. “You can come through, I’ll show you to the office,” she said tightly. Aaron and I exchanged glances before we followed her into the house.
We entered through a large kitchen with a table in the middle that seated twelve. We walked through an adjacent living room, where two people were watching a show, and passed two doors that were closed. The last door was open, and Maggie gestured us in.
The office was a mess. There were piles of papers and documents stacked all over the desk and the cabinet to the left. The bookcase was disorganized, with some books flat and others with their spine to the back, showing the pages instead. Maggie fished a key out of her apron pocket.
“This is for the cabinet drawers, over there,” she said, nodding with her head. “I trust you’ll find me if there’s something else you need.”
“Thank you…” I started saying, but Maggie already left the office.
Aaron whistled, turning in a circle. “It’s clear Mr. Hart hasn’t been here in a while to keep his eye on business,” he said.
“Not organized enough for him?”
Aaron shook his head. “If he saw this he’d probably turn around in his grave.”
I moved a stack of papers from the chair and sat down. Aaron took the cabinet key and unlocked the first drawer.
By the time lunch rolled round, we’d sifted through less than a quarter of the paperwork. It was impossible to think how one business could accumulate so much paperwork in such a short time. It had only been open about five years.
There were receipts dating back to day one, documents and forms of clients that had visited months ago, and scraps of paper that meant nothing. I was hunched over a file of bad handwriting when Aaron put his hands on my neck and squeezed his thumbs. I stiffened under his touch. We were often playful with each other, but it was the first time he’d touched me like this.
“It’s almost past lunch already. How about we run out and grab some lunch, and tackle the next lot afterwards?” He rubbed my neck, and I had to admit it felt good. I held all my tension there.
“Alright, but we can’t take more than forty-five minutes,” I said. We stood up. Aaron held the door open for me, and guided me through with his hand on the small of my back. His hand was big and warm, but it felt foreign on my skin.
How long had it been since a man had touched me? I’d had one or two flings after Noah, but nothing serious. My work took all my attention, and I preferred it that way. Men were trouble. They caused a big mess they weren’t willing to clean up. My stomach turned when I thought about it, so I pushed it away.
“Where shall we go?” I asked.
“I don’t know, you tell me. You know this place, don’t you?”
I sighed. “I know a pub not too far from here. It’s called O’Malley’s. Not a five-star joint but their food is good and I’ve known the owner since I was five.”
***
We drove back over the river and followed Junction Highway until we were well out of town.
“I thought you said this place wasn’t far,” Aaron said. And just as he said it, the pub popped up next to the road. He turned off and parked in the lot. There were only a couple of cars around. The wooden sign that hung above the door to announce the pub was scratched and the pub had looked like it had needed paint when I’d come here ages ago. Now it looked desperate.
Inside Jake, the owner and bartender, was behind the bar, polishing glasses. If he wasn’t pouring he was polishing. He gave Aaron a hard look, sizing him up in his suit. We were both pretty out of place for a place like O’Malley’s. But when Jake saw me, he grinned. The man had gotten old. He was still bald, as always, but his handlebar moustache was grey now, and there were wrinkles around his eyes.
“Tamika,” he said holding his arms out like he was going to hug me through the bar.
“Hey Jake,” I said. “It’s been a long time.”
“You here looking for trouble?” he asked.
“We’re in town for work,” Aaron answered before I could. He had his shoulders squared. I thought perhaps the past two days hadn’t been exactly what he’d had in mind. Jake gave him a blank stare.
“That’s not what he means,” I said to Aaron. “I was a bit of a rebel back in the day, and I never left this pub without causing something. I think that’s what he was referring to.”
The pub had been the place where I’d come when Noah and I had our fights. It had happened from time to time. Here I knew I’d be able to get alcohol even when I was underage, and there’d always been some fight or another, especially when Noah ended up finding me here.
And then there’d been the one night we’d come together, and we’d had so much cheap whiskey our worlds had spun out of control. Jake had five rooms in the back where truckers holed up when they were just passing through, and he’d let us have one. That had been the night my whole world had been turned upside down. He’d forgotten to use a condom, I’d been sick and on antibiotics the week before.
“Where do you want to sit?” Aaron asked, breaking the spell the past cast on me. I looked around the pub. It was dark and foggy, even when there was no one smoking. O’Malley’s had a permanent cloud of smoke hanging in the air.
“We can sit back there,” I said and nodded to a booth by the only window.
I slid onto the worn cushion and Aaron took a seat opposite me. The window to my right was dirty enough to not be able to enjoy the view. Jake himself came up t
o the table.
After I ordered, Jake left us alone.
“Well, this is some place,” Aaron said, looking around. “Is this the face of Ingram?”
I shook my head. “There are a lot of great places around here. It’s not nearly as run down as the side you’ve seen. The part of town where I grew up was pretty neat the last time I saw it, with nice houses and pretty gardens. It was just these rundown places that I chose to escape to because Noah…”
I stopped talking.
“Because Noah?” Aaron prompted. I shook my head. “There’s not a lot of things in my past he wasn’t a part of,” I said. “He felt uncomfortable being in my part of town, so I stuck to his side.”
“I see,” Aaron said. But I knew he couldn’t see. There was no way he would understand. Noah had only set foot in this place to please me. He’d hated alcohol. It was what had sunken us after Noah’s mother died. Noah never touched a drop of alcohol in his life, until what we referred to as the ‘whiskey night’. And then after that he stayed away for good because of the consequences. I’d thought he’d be great to fill the shoes of a role model once the time came.
But apparently he just didn’t want to.
Aaron suddenly put his hand on mine. I blinked and looked up at him.
“We’re not going to be here much longer, you know,” he said softly. I slowly slid my hand from underneath his. He’d probably meant it in a reassuring way, but I felt caged in, suddenly.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about me,” I said, forcing a smile. “It’s always good to be reminded where you came from.”
“You’ve just been so distracted since we came. You look like you’re haunted by things that I can’t even see.”
“Aaron—“ I said but he interrupted me.
“I talked to Larry. You can be on the first flight home tomorrow, if you want that.”
“You did what?” I was ready to give him a piece of my mind.
He held up his hands when he saw my face. “Now before you get mad at me, I didn’t say you couldn’t do it or anything. I just told him that it’s not necessary for you to be here, I can deal with it. You know he’d much rather have you in the office if he could, or on some other case.”
I closed my mouth and looked at him. Did I want to argue about this? It was a way out, wasn’t it? I could get away from here, away from Noah and Vanessa, who he obviously chose over me. I could get away from all the ghosts of memories and the people that haven’t aged well since I last saw them.
It would also mean that I wouldn’t get my recognition. Larry was a stingy man. If I didn’t deserve my raise, I didn’t get it. And my definition of ‘deserve’ wasn’t the same as his definition. To him you had to sacrifice everything short of your life to get what you wanted.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked. Aaron was a friend, yes, but he was a colleague. He was one of the partners of Findley and Monroe. There was very little that was more important to him than business.
“Because I feel for you. I can actually see what this is doing to you, and that’s saying something. You’re known for your iron mask.”
It was true. In the business world they said that about me. Tamika Davis, the woman no one could read. Made of cold hard metal, incapable of emotions. It was only the few people like Aaron and Carrie who knew I had a breaking point somewhere inside all my armor.
I sighed.
“Just think about it, okay? If there’s one person that knows that work can ruin your life, it’s me.”
I knew what he was talking about. Aaron had had a family once upon a time. A wife and a beautiful baby boy. He’d buried himself in work, trying to get the company started, and he’d lost her. Now he only saw his son over holidays, like Christmas and Easter.
When we arrived back at the ranch after lunch, Vanessa was on the porch, cellphone against her ear. She ignored us when we got out of the truck. She hung up as we reached her on the porch.
“And?” she said.
“And what, Miss Bloom?” Aaron asked.
“Have you found his will yet?”
“We’ve found almost everything under the sun, ma’am, but not that.”
She groaned and looked at her phone screen. “This is ridiculous.”
Her phone rang again as we walked into the house. I could hear her shrill voice talk into the speaker, following me down that passage all the way to the office.
“That would be really great, Noah,” she was saying. “You have no idea what this means to me… Sure, I’ll be there… I love you.”
I closed the office door. Something inside me felt like it had cracked. I steeled myself, pushing it all away. I had work to do. I could cry about lost loves and replacements later.
***
By the time we reached the hotel it was almost eleven. I dropped my briefcase inside the door and stepped out of my shoes, stretching my toes against the stocking-feet.
“That was a nightmare,” Aaron said, taking off his blazer. “I’ll take a day in court any day.”
And I knew how much he hated those. He opened the small fridge and pulled out a beer. “Thank god they stock these right,” he said. I walked over to him, and he handed me one too. I didn’t often drink beer anymore, but tonight I would make an exception.
“Another day like that and I’m not going to make it,” I said. I sat down on the edge of the bed. Aaron sat down next to me and the mattress dipped under his weight. We sat together in companionable silence for a while.
“So, Noah, huh?” he asked. I snapped my head around to look at him.
“What?”
“It’s not hard to see that he was the one you were talking about. You’re more uptight around him than anyone I’ve ever seen you around, and that includes Larry and Miss Monroe.” Danielle Monroe, Aaron’s partner, was a model-type woman with a body to die for and business savvy that overrode any sense of morality. I didn’t like her business ethic on principle, and personally I disliked her even more because I would never feel like a real woman next to her. In comparison I was short and stubby, with dull hair and outdated clothes. In any other circumstance I felt like I was good enough. I liked my body, I had personal style, and I killed at my job.
I sighed. “It’s not exactly fair to compare Danielle to Noah,” I said.
“Maybe. But I think you’re more scared of what he might say to you, than you are of her.”
I looked at him. His dark hair was a styled mess. He had a four o’clock shadow across his face, and his brown eyes twinkled like he was on the verge of a smile. The beer bottle was cold in my hand, and it felt like the alcohol fizzed through my blood, making me lightheaded. I wondered how Aaron managed to take everything in his stride. I hardly drank so I couldn’t hold my alcohol, and here he was just as tired as I was, looking like he just stepped off the cover of a business magazine. And after a long day filled with chaos, he’d still managed to notice Noah and my history with him, somehow. I guess as a lawyer it was his job not to miss anything.
His eyes travelled down to my lips, and I was aware of how tan his skin was. It was almost as dark as mine, but his was in a Latino kind of way. The beer in my system made my reaction slow, and the next thing I knew his lips were on mine.
They were firm and hard. They knew what they wanted. I froze, unsure of what to do. I hadn’t been kissed by a man in a while. I could taste the beer on his lips, lacing his breath. Slowly he dragged his tongue across my lower lip, asking me to open my mouth. And I did because I had no real reason not to.
His tongue swirled lazily around mine, making tiny circles, guiding me and leading me all at the same time. His hand came up and he cupped my cheek, fingers against the smooth hair that almost touched my shoulder.
I pulled my head away.
“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” I said. He didn’t look hurt or rejected. He looked calm and confident, and I wondered why I was the one that felt like everything was slightly skewed when I was the one that should have been in control.
“Look, Tamika. I know we work together, but we’re not in the same firm. I’ve known you for a long time. You’re a powerful woman. You’re great at what you do, and I really care for you. I don’t see why we can’t do this.” He smiled at me. “I really like you. You’re one of a kind, and in my world that doesn’t just happen.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. My hesitation was enough for Aaron to pull me in again, and because I couldn’t calculate a reason why I should stop him in my sluggish mind, I kissed him back, instead.
His hand slid onto my neck and then my shoulder. His thumb traced my collarbone. I held onto that beer bottle like my life depended on it. My head felt light and airy, and I felt dizzy. The atmosphere in the room was thick.
Aaron slid his hand even further down, onto my breast. He cupped it, and slowly massaged it in a circle. My body responded, slowly, like I was waking up from a deep sleep. But it was there. The twinge between my legs. The heat in my stomach. My nipple hardening, straining against my bra.
Aaron leaned down without breaking the kiss, and put his beer on the carpet. Ever talented. He pushed gently against me with the hand on my breast, guiding my body with the other hand now, and lay me on my back on the bed. His body rolled against mine, and it was as muscled and hard as it looked through his starched shirts all the time. He was a lot of man, neat and masculine.
I sighed shakily against his lips. I tentatively touched his chest, and I could feel his rippling muscle underneath his shirt. It felt foreign to my fingertips, like when you’re used to a particular brand of toothpaste and then you use something else. But his skin was warm, and his other hand was behind my neck. His hips ground into mine, and I could feel how hard he was.
An image of Noah flashed in front of me. He was much younger, his blond hair too long, his green eyes smiling at me. How many nights had we spent together in his small bedroom? Or under the stars between the trees behind my parents’ house? How many times had my fingers traced the lines of his body, and found that his body answered a question I didn’t know I’d been asking?
