by Vivian Ward
The fact that I liked Zack slapping me on the ass makes me feel guilty like I’m cheating on Trent. But we’re not even a thing.
Are we?
I mean, we haven’t made anything official yet; though, we have been kind of seeing each other for a while.
The building is packed. He could be anywhere, or nowhere. Before I give it another thought, I hear Zack laughing. One of the women from the bathroom is walking beside him, flirting, as he brings our drinks back to the table.
“What?” she says as she looks at me and places her hands on her hips. “I didn’t know you were here with someone. Why didn’t you tell me?” she playfully smacks him with her evening bag, giving me some serious side eye.
“I didn’t know that I needed to,” he dismisses her as he smiles at me. As she storms away, we can hear her huffing and puffing as she vents to her friends. Zack looks at me and shrugs his shoulders.
He wavers his sexiest smile at me. “Here you go, beautiful.”
The room is beginning to spin, and I can feel myself becoming dizzy. It is getting hot. The room is so hot. Or is it? Maybe it is just me. Then I look down, and I see him sitting so close to me that all of the heat from him is radiating from his body onto mine. Our thighs are touching, and I smell the sweet scent of wine on his breath when he calls me beautiful.
“Joline, there you are,” Trent says, coming to my rescue from his dangerous brother. “I’ve been looking for you,” he glances at Zack, shooting him a look that speaks a multitude of hatred, envy, and jealousy.
I understand why he is upset. Truly, I do. But the alcohol makes me not care. It is the alcohol, right?
At this point, I’m not sure how or what I’m supposed to feel.
Have my feelings changed?
“Yes, she was with me. Dancing,” I feel Zack’s arm snake around my shoulder as he stretches back in his chair.
“Get up, Joline. I’m taking you home.”
I bite my lip. He is angry, and I know it. But I am not ready to go home even though I probably should have long ago. A few drinks ago to be exact. His face turns a few different shades of crimson before I see the veins in his neck begin to protrude. I look over at Zack who is as calm and cool as a cucumber.
“No, I think she’s going to stay. I’ll keep an eye on her,” Zack winks at his brother as he digs his fingers into my skin, holding me there as he keeps me planted in my chair.
Some part of me feels uncomfortable with the way this feels. Like he has paws that are trying to claim me, but an even bigger part of me wants to be claimed by those big paws of his.
Snap out of it, Joline! Are you crazy? You have a man who wants you, worships the ground that you walk on and would give you the world.
Yes, Trent will do all of things and more. He would do anything that I’d ever ask of him. But Slutty Joline has made her appearance. I can see the fire in Trent’s fierce blue eyes. Liquid fire burning right into his brother. If it could have scorched him, it would have made blisters appear instantaneously.
I look into Zack’s sea green eyes and in much contrast to his brothers; they look like calm waters. The kind before a storm. And I can’t stop looking into them, getting lost in his ocean of…wetness. Yes, wetness, I can feel it pooling between my legs. Watching the two of them has turned into some sick, sadistic game for me and I like watching them play.
Who will win?
Chapter 5
Past
Even though Trent and I had our first ‘official’ date when we met his new business partner, this is going to be our first ‘real’ official date. Just the two of us. Alone.
I promised myself that I’d never get involved with either of the Richardson boys, but what harm could one date do? Right?
Technically, we’ve already been on a date, and it happened to be a formal business date to meet with a married client of his. Though, this particular date—our second ‘date’—is much different.
Dinner. It is just dinner. Or at least that’s what I think.
“Dress in something sexy. I want to make everyone jealous that I have Joline Brown on my arm,” he says.
I giggle. Something in his voice is so seductive, sexy and sweet. I have never seen this side of Trent, except for the kiss and makeout session that we had in the front seat of his car. But there’s this powerful, dominant side of him that I’m seeing. The side I always used to see was business, professional, and sometimes a bit flirty. This new side of him turns me on. I know he is a powerful man when it comes to business, but I had no idea how much power he could potentially hold over me.
Something about the tone of his voice makes me want to play along with his seductive, playful banter, so I carefully select the sexiest dress that I own as I start to get ready for our date. Besides, what can it hurt to play along with him? We’ll go on a harmless date that probably won’t amount to anything other than a night on the town with someone I’ve known for a long time.
And since I’ve been back, things have been…different. I haven’t been out on a date, I haven’t really connected with any of my old friends besides Karli, and after the job hunt I’ve been on, I deserve a night out. One night.
One night.
Right?
I pick my dress off the hanger and look it over, debating if I’m actually going to wear it. It is a strapless, open-back dress that dips low in the front. It’s kind of skimpy, but it’s better than the dress I wore out on our first date. If my clothes had been back on time, I would have worn something more modest.
Dressed to the nines, I critique my appearance in the mirror and debate wearing a different dress, but before I can change my mind, I hear his car pull into the driveway.
The moment that I open the door, I know I have made the right choice.
“Wow,” he scans my body, running a hand through his immaculate brown hair. A deep exhale leaves his lips, bathing me in his sweet mint breath. “You look incredible.” His eyes scan me from head to toe and back to my face where he stops. “I can’t believe it.”
“That’s a grandbaby-making dress if I ever saw one,” my dad pipes up from the living room as he eavesdrops on us like a couple of teenagers. “That’s right, you heard me,” he says as I stare in awe. “I have eyes, I see what you got on.”
“Dad?!” I exclaim.
He sits his paper on the end table beside him and walks over to the door.
“You two have a good time.”
I feel my face radiating with embarrassment. It’s like I’m going on my first date all over again, but worse because my dad is encouraging Trent’s naughty behavior. The difference is that I am probably more nervous than when I actually went on my first date. At least then, I didn’t have to worry about whether or not the other brother would find out because that’s the whole reason I would never date either one of them.
Sure, I had it bad for both of them, but I never wanted to hurt either of them.
However, things have changed.
I’m older.
They’re older.
We’re not in high school anymore.
Zack has come up occasionally in conversation once or twice, but Trent says that he is long gone. He is living his own dirty life, underground. At first, I didn’t know what he was talking about; I didn’t understand. But when he explained it to me, I recognized the dangers all too quickly.
“He’s a damned fool,” I remember him saying the night I asked about his brother.
“What do you mean?” I ask, worried about someone whom I used to be so close with.
The three of us were dangerously close. With them, they had a love/hate relationship each other, basic sibling rivalry, but they both adored me. And I adored both of them. Each for their own reasons.
“He’s going to get himself killed one of these days,” he groans, rubbing his temples with the palm of his hands like he’s trying to erase a bad memory.
“How? What’s going on?”
“Why do you care?” he snaps.
It’s like he doesn’t want to talk about it. The sudden sharpness of his voice stings me like a wasp. I am only asking about a friend; one I haven’t talked to in ages.
“It’s just that—,” I can’t really answer his question and explain. “He’s your brother! And my friend.”
“Well if he’s your friend and you care about him so much, why don’t you know what he’s up to?” he arches his eyebrow.
“Tell me what kind of trouble he’s in.”
A heavy sigh expels from his lips like he is unloading a massive weight from his chest.
“I guess I need to tell someone,” he interlaces his fingers with mine. “And you’re probably the best person to tell because you’ll fully understand the danger.” I nod, willing him to continue. “He’s been counting cards, making hundreds of thousands of dollars. Nightly. Every. Fucking. Night. And he’s going to get himself killed when he rips off the wrong person one of these days.”
“How? Tell me what’s going on,” I pry, begging for him to tell me more. “Is he crazy?”
“He was caught doing it in the casinos. The big, greedy, dumb ass. They caught him and a group of people he was working with, and the security guards took him and two of the other guys who were with him to an area where there were no cameras. No eyes in the sky. Nothing to protect or save them, and they beat the living shit out of them.”
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. A brown lock of his hair flips down, obstructing the deep crease that’s now evident of his growing frustration with Zack. I move the patch of hair away from his face as he painfully recalls the night he saved his brother. I want to say something comforting to him, but I can’t. It’s too late. It’s already happened. I nod, encouraging him to go on as I reach out and stroke his arm.
“He called me. It was around four in the morning. I was tired,” he shakes his head, apparently aggravated. “Still sleeping because I had to get up and go into the office at 8 AM. I almost didn’t answer it, but something told me that I should.” He stops talking, and I watch the Adam’s apple in his throat bob as he tries to choke down his emotion. “Damn it, Joline!” he punches the tree that we’re standing in front of. “When I found him in the parking garage at the casino that night, it looked like a damned pit bull mauled his face. It was so mangled. So bloody.”
As much as I don’t want to, I can picture Zack’s face with gashes and blood covering the entire surface. I’ve seen it happen to other guys before. I close the eyes and force the image out of my head. It’s too difficult to even think about, let alone picture.
“They did it because they caught him cheating the house, didn’t they?” I ask. I already know the answer because I am familiar with it.
When I worked as a card dealer at the casino in Vegas, I hated it when they busted someone who was cheating the house. I hated it even more when I had to get security because my table had already lost more money than I wanted to admit to. I’d seen the guys leaving. A wrecked mess. Teeth missing. Black eyes. Bloody faces. Bruised egos. I knew all too well what he was talking about.
He nods, confirming that I’m right.
“He swore to me that he was done. He was going to quit right then and there. Never look back.” He laughs, mocking the words almost as soon as they leave his mouth. “Now he just does it underground. There are no cameras, but the risks are much more dangerous. The casinos won’t kill you. They’ll beat the shit out of you, but you’ll get to leave alive. But these guys? The ones he’s fucking around with? They’ll kill you in a heartbeat.”
They will. I know they will. When you’ve worked in a casino for as long as I did, you hear the horror stories of what happens to cheaters. How they’ll risk everything and anything. You also hear the stories about the pit bosses and what they do to these guys. It’s their job.
A hired hand to beat you according to the severity in which you cheated the house. They catch you early on in your winning streak, and you’ll leave with a busted nose or maybe a broken finger or two. If you get caught cheating after a lot of time or money? You’ll have a mangled face and won’t be able to eat for weeks or have broken ribs so you can barely suck in air.
Underground guys? Private security? These are trained professionals who might kill you and dump your body in an alley behind a dirty whorehouse.
“And he’s back to doing it and you’re worried about him, aren’t you?” I ask, slowly stroking his cheek with the back of my hand. I know that they fight like brothers, but they also love each other like brothers. I know I can see love in his eyes as he speaks about the fear he has for his brother’s life.
I am suddenly scared for his brother’s life as well. Playing around like that can make people disappear without a trace on this earth. No one will ever find your body if they don’t want them to. They have ways of doing that if they want to.
Shivering at the thought of what could and might happen to Zack, I feel the warmth of Trent’s arm envelope me as we stand beneath the tree in the park. I look up at the sky and start counting the stars in the sky to keep my mind from thinking about all the bad things that could possibly happen to Zack.
“I’m sorry,” he says as my body quivers next to him. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just worried about my brother.”
“It’s okay. I’m worried about him, too. He’s always been my friend, and I’ve always kind of worried about him. He’s got that whole dangerous thing kind of going on. Always has.”
“Come on,” he pulls me closer to him. “Let’s grab some coffee and a piece of pie.”
I look at him, and then to my watch. It’s nearly midnight.
“You still like that greasy spoon diner off of Manchester?” he asks.
“Yes! Do you remember every place I’ve ever eaten?”
“I do. It’s hard to forget where some of your favorite memories happened.”
By the end of our first date, I feel closer to Trent than I ever have before, and it makes me feel good. The way he puts his arm around me holds me at just the right moments to make me feel safe, and the way he confides his darkest worries with me lets me know that he cares. He cares about his brother, and he still cares about me.
Why did I wait so long to give it a try?
He is safe, careful and practical.
“Here we are,” he pulls up in front of my house. “I had a great time with you.”
“Me too,” I admit.
And I’m being honest. Even though we talked a great deal about Zack, it somehow brought Trent and me closer than we had been in years. Maybe it’s because we both share a love for him that neither of us has ever spoken about. “I still don’t know why you had me dress up in this,” I wave my hand down the length of my body. “Was it even necessary?”
We saw a play and then took a stroll in the park before heading to the diner.
He takes my hand in his and pulls it up to his mouth, kissing it. “Yes, it was. I wanted to have eye candy and arm candy, and in that, you crushed it. You look so amazing tonight.”
Blushing, I bring my hand up to my neck and rub it. “Thanks,” I say with my eyes fixated on my matching pumps.
“No,” he lets go of my hand and touches the tip of my chin, willing me to look at him. “Thank you. I had a great time tonight, and I want to do it again. And again. If you’ll let me.”
The car feels hotter than before, and I realize that it’s the heat intensifying within the core of my body and suddenly, I want to jump out of the car.
I’m not sure if I’m ready to take that next step.
I look at the living room window and see that the light is on. My dad’s waiting up for me.
“Yes, I will go out with you again. Tonight was really nice, but I better get going in,” I nod towards the window with the light on downstairs. “He’s waiting up for me. I think he’s lonely.”
“Joline?” he grabs hold of my elbow, stopping me before I can fully turn to open the car door.
Our eyes meet and for a minute, time doesn’t exist. His eye
s look deep into my soul, and they see something because I can see its reflection—whatever it is—in his eyes also. Slowly, our faces lean in towards one another, and his soft, warm lips press against mine in a sweet, tender kiss like he’s imprinting himself on me somehow.
With my eyes closed, I focus on his scent as we kiss. He smells clean, rich, and luxurious. It’s delightful and manly. His breath is warm on my face, and even though there’s plenty of oxygen in the car, I feel like someone is squeezing my lungs, suffocating me. Finally, I break our embrace and gently push him away.
“I had better get going,” I say, our eyes still scanning each other’s souls, looking for something more meaningful than life’s darkest secrets.
What has he done to me? How can he have this effect on me?
Lying in my bed, I stare at the dark shadows of the night dancing on my ceiling and reflect on my date with Trent. It was so intimate, yet no sex happened. Just a kiss. One beautiful, perfect kiss from a wonderful man. My heart skips a beat as I think about him and I feel the wetness between my legs.
Reaching down, I touch myself there. Wetness. It’s covering my fingers, and I imagine for a moment that it’s his fingers touching me. Circling my clit, I rub myself while my free hand pinches my nipple. I can’t tell which is harder: my pebbled nipple that’s stinging between my fingers or my hard, throbbing, swollen clit.
Harder and faster, I rub myself into oblivion as I imagine and wish it was him.
I’m dying for his touch.
Oh, Trent. Why did I send him away? It’s been so long since I’ve been intimate with anyone.
The make-out session in his car during that first date didn’t help my pent up sexual frustration. That was all done out of lust after a lot of wine during a business dinner that was supposed to be professional. Tonight we both had our wits about us and no alcohol. Our second date was much more romantic and meaningful, which turns me on that much more.
After bringing myself to a euphoric orgasm, I’m finally satisfied. But I feel so empty inside. Empty and alone. I look at the lonely spot next to me in bed and wish that his strong, warm body was next to me, snuggling me to sleep. Instead, I place my body pillow next to me and cuddle it to sleep.
