“Of course. Take care, Dane.”
“Goodnight, my darling.”
Canna hung up the phone and raised her eyebrows. Weird. The only way that Canna loved Dane was as an ex-lover with whom she parted friends. She thought he knew that.
“Dane calls you?” Claudio asked.
“That was the only time. You didn’t tell Virtuosi that you were coming to visit me? They are your best friends.”
“Blinky, everyone at Virtuosi loved you. But you undid it all by getting us stuck your web of Italian messes, plus the drugs and damaging behaviour. It’s easier to pretend that is behind us. Dane knows that you and I spent the night together in Corsica after Erik and Holly’s wedding, but no one else knows. Not even Rebecca. Dane told no one.”
“Wait, everyone thinks I disappeared off the face of the earth after the wedding?”
“Like I said, we have moved on.”
“With limited success, by all accounts. So, they don’t know we’re together?”
“No, the same way your sailing pals and your work colleagues don’t know about us.”
“We’re fucked up.”
“I’m still married, Canna. I have to keep my mouth shut, and not just to my friends but to the world at large.”
“Then why are you being so insecure about me keeping things quiet?”
“Because when I get close to you, I feel burned by how much I love you.”
“That can’t be good.”
“But I continue to burn myself anyway.”
“Hurting yourself can be fun.”
“I’ll never think that.”
“So, you don’t want to come back to the hotel and get burned by me again?”
“I thought you had work to do.”
“I can handle a few phone calls while I ride you,” she whispered.
Claudio shook his head and laughed. “I’m not sure if that’s insulting or not.”
“It’s a credit to my talents, not an insult to your skills in the bedroom.”
“Still, I would prefer if I could overwhelm you.”
“You have overwhelmed me plenty of times before.”
“I’m aware. What did Dane want?”
“Wow, way to kill the mood, dude.”
“I want to know why my colleague is calling my lover.”
“That’s a tad simplistic. I’m his ex-fiancé. He’s my friend, for better or worse. I thought you guys were over all that.”
“I guess.”
“I don’t know what to say. Why is this trip full of arguing? We’re here to sail and relax.”
“I can’t, because everywhere I turn, there are men all over you!”
“I can’t play your games anymore.” Canna stood up and swiped her phone from the table. “I’m going back to the hotel. You can keep your insecurities to yourself.”
Canna left the yacht club at a great pace, barely pausing to tell the staff to put dinner on the boat’s tab. She crossed the street under the bright lights and powered through the hotel lobby. Once she arrived in her dark hotel room, she stood at the full-length window and looked down over the marina, the boats hidden in the darkness.
The door flew open and slammed shut, but Canna didn’t turn around to acknowledge Claudio. Why did all men have to be so possessive?
“In the past few days, here and in Milan, you have given me mixed signals,” she heard Claudio say somewhere in the dark. “You have Giorgio lusting after you. Yuri made it clear he likes you, and even some of your crewmembers are hot for you, no matter what they say. Now Dane is calling you. Your dead husband still casts a shadow. I feel like I have to compete for your affection.”
“That’s not my problem.”
Claudio’s hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her, to spin her around to face him. He pushed her back against the glass and pinned her between him and the window. “Why do you infuriate me so much?”
“Ask yourself that question.” Claudio’s heart pounded against her as she spoke. “I don’t know why you think that I don’t love you. This is my professional life and I keep it that way, no matter what the men around me want to do with their penises.”
“I’m not part of your professional life.”
“So what are you waiting to hear?”
Claudio forced his lips against hers so rough that her head smacked back on the glass. His hands burned into her skin with the intensity of his strength. Canna was strong, but she didn’t wish to fight him. He hadn’t been rough with her, not a single moment during their new relationship. He was only rough with her when they were sneaking around behind the backs of their other lovers. Canna saw no problem with that; it heightened the sensations between them.
Claudio took a deep breath and pulled himself from her. “Fuck,” he muttered. “This has to stop.”
“What now?”
“I promised that I wouldn’t ever be rough with you.”
“You did?”
“I have been rough with you before, and I have even hit you, and that makes me no better than your husband.”
“You seem more fixated on Giuseppe than me,” Canna said through a few breaths. Claudio rubbed his face in the dark, upset. “Claudio, forcing my clothes off and holding me face down, ass up on the carpet, that is rough. A firm kiss is nothing.”
Claudio took another deep breath; she spoke from experience. “I’m trying so hard to be what you need.”
“You are what I need.” Canna leaned away from the window and approached him. “I don’t understand why you don’t know that.”
“I’m just trying to make you happy. I want to be happy, too.”
“I want you to make love to me, and look me right in the eye. I will prove that I love only you.”
“I know you love me.”
“Then stop changing your mind about that every two minutes.” Canna had no idea why he seemed needy. One minute he seemed sure of their relationship, then seemed unsure; his comments swung back and forward between certainty and panic. It made it impossible to understand his problem. “Why don’t you trust me?”
“I do. It’s every other man that makes me nervous.”
“I’ve made plenty of mistakes. So have you. We will keep doing it. It changes nothing. Tell me how I can prove myself to you,” she pleaded.
Claudio wanted her naked in bed, and Canna was happy to oblige. She lay back in the dark room and closed her eyes, her arms above her head on the pillow. No man could appreciate a woman’s body the way that Claudio did. He knew how to touch every inch until she felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. He did as he promised and brought his eyes to hers, to see how much she loved him. Flesh against flesh gave him a reminder of how intense the connection between them really was, and Canna received sheer delight in watching him surrender inside her.
CHAPTER 6
MALTA
Race day came and went in a blur. Once all 75 yachts lined up on the start line, Claudio was worried. They all jostled for the same small space on the start line, an invisible line drawn between an anchored yacht and a single yellow buoy. The boats barely fit in the space and Canna insisted on steering Vincitore right into the centre of the fleet. She screamed at any boat that came near, aware of the complex rules in play. The start gun, the cannons on the Saluting Battery high up in the Maltese capital of Valletta boomed across the echoing harbour. The yachts all powered over the line at a pace that terrified Claudio as he clung to the back of the yacht. Salty sea spray bounced off the waves and over the deck, freezing him with every splash. Claudio wished he had worn a life jacket. No one else wore one, because it was safe enough not to bother, or so they said. Yachts, each worth millions of Euros came within metres of colliding. Canna kept yelling. Different coloured protest flags were waved. Insults flew between crews. A helicopter hovered over them, with photographers eager to get the best footage. It seemed like utter chaos. Yet, when Vincitore cleared the harbour in first place to head out to sea, the whole crew cheered for the win. First out of Valletta s
eemed to be goal set for all the sailors, like a prize, but it exhausted Claudio.
They sailed along in the cool sunshine, and things calmed down again. Claudio could see boats in the distance behind them and everyone seemed happy, especially Canna. By sunset, dinner came out, and Claudio could understand the fun of sailing. The pace, the challenge of seeing wind (who could see wind?), the different tasks that sped up the boat, the camaraderie between the crew members, it was all enjoyable. He could do several days of this, even with Yuri on board. Canna seemed so relaxed and in control; this was her real life. She looked like a goddess as she sat behind the steering wheel, looking far into the distance as the sun set. All the arguing on shore seemed worth it. His goddess was happy.
~~~
On the dawn of day two, Claudio took a deep breath as he climbed the step ladder and poked his head out on deck. It was cold; morning had not yet come, and the sea air had a chilling bite to it. It reminded him of when he went to stay with his grandparents in the country, where he would wake up early. He was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes, and free of the routines of daily life. It was a new world. Back home, he wouldn’t dream of going outside in day-old clothes, uncombed and unshaved. Yet here he was sleeping in a bunk hammock attached to the interior of a stripped out boat hull, with twenty other men, and dressing like a slob. He rubbed his face as he looked forward; there was Michele at the bow of the boat. Claudio could see he was awake, but still had his harness attached to the lifeline. There were a few others dotted around the deck but all sat in silence. Yuri must have been asleep downstairs, he was rarely seen on deck helping out. There wasn’t a breath of wind; the boat had stopped in the water. Last night the moon had made the waves look like floating diamonds, but now it was a mirror.
Claudio turned back to the stern of the yacht, and Canna sat at the starboard steering wheel. She sat to one side of the wheel and steered with one hand. Her eyes looked puffy from lack of sleep. Canna smiled when she saw him in appear in the hatch.
Claudio wandered to where she sat, nodding hello to a couple of the guys who were going about their tasks. The white hull felt cold on his feet, but at least it was dry. “Hey,” he whispered.
“Good morning,” she said as he sat down just in front of the large steering wheel. “Happy birthday.”
Claudio smiled. “Thanks. Out here, it feels as if time doesn’t exist.”
“You can imagine what it’s like to go to sea for weeks and jump a few time zones. Land life can be odd again. Good, but confusing.”
“It’s like another world, out at sea. Most people have no idea. The silence is deafening.” With the yacht marooned in no wind, there were no waves against the hull, no flap of the sails, no whistle as ropes whipped in the breeze. All the others on board were silent. There were no landmarks; the world seemed like a dark expanse of nothing.
Canna turned and pointed behind them. “We aren’t alone,” she said. There was a single light in the distance. “Someone wants to steal first place from us.”
“Will they?”
“Once its light, it will be easier to spot the wind shifts, and we can kick their ass. You are up just in time.”
“For what?”
“To see the sunrise. Have you ever seen the sunrise without the obstructions of life on land?” Canna gestured out to the horizon, and sure enough, just as she said it, a light appeared in the distance as if she had summoned it herself. The grey air started to lighten around them, and in a matter of minutes the night disappeared. “Night wants to forget the sun, but is defeated every morning. It’s violent, the way daylight overpowers the night. But at least we get the luminous colours of dusk each evening.”
“Violent daylight,” Claudio whispered and turned to Canna. She looked past him in the direction of the crew members who were doing something that Claudio didn’t understand. Night wants to forget the sun. She had said that before, when trapped deep in her drug addiction. Canna, the creature of the night. Claudio smiled; she wasn’t that woman anymore. As violent as it was, she had come into the light. There was still the depression. But right now, on the yacht, she was a new woman. Canna was herself. Not the Countess, not as the staff member at Virtuosi, just herself. For the first time, Claudio could see the real Canna. Barefoot, in shorts and a heavy blue jacket, her hair in a messy ponytail, no makeup over her accident scars, there she was. The woman she had been learning to be before her husband hit her with his car. In the increasing violent daylight, Canna Medici had let Claudio see her. That was the greatest birthday gift ever.
“I have a great birthday gift for you, but it will need to wait until we hit land,” Canna said.
“Were you reading my mind?”
“I wouldn’t dare delve into your mind. How’s the sea sickness?”
Claudio glanced around to check if anyone had overheard. “I took my pills when I got up.”
“Good.”
“I feel fine.”
“That’s because you took the pills.”
“No one else takes them.”
“No one else is a baritone who doesn’t sail.”
“Fine, I will keep taking them,” he sighed.
“Stop moaning, or I will send you up the mast to do some wind spotting.”
“Wind is impossible to see.”
“Can you feel music notes inside your body when you sing?”
“I can.”
“You can feel the impossible. I can see the impossible.” Canna looked past him again. “Now that we have a bit of light, anyone fancy wind-spotting up the rig?” she called out.
“I’ll go.” Claudio turned at the voice, and it was Doug, who had just appeared from down below deck. “I can’t sleep anyway.”
“Those bunks aren’t great,” Claudio remarked.
“It’s not that,” Doug replied as he open a hatch and pulled out a harness set. “It’s the silence. When I’m in bed and can hear the waves crashing past me, I know everything is on track. The silence isn’t normal. It’s hard to explain.”
“There is nothing worse than standing still, on land or at sea,” Canna said as Doug put his harness around his waist.
One of the other crew members hoisted Doug up the mast via a rope pulley system. Claudio watched Doug dangle from near the top of the mast; Doug’s gaze headed out over the smooth grey ocean.
“Is that dangerous?’ Claudio asked.
“Nah,” Canna dismissed his concern. “He has the harness around his waist, connected to the mast. The rope will never let go, not with the system it runs through inside the mast. There is a lock mechanism that would kick in if he fell. It’s beautiful up there. The lighter it gets, the further he can see. If there is a gust of wind coming, we want it before our competitors behind us see it.”
“CANNA!” came Doug’s voice from 120 feet in the air. She looked up, and Doug pointed out.
“Dolphins,” she said, and everyone perked up in their spots.
Claudio stood up and peered out into the expanse. In the glossy water, fins bobbed up and down to make little waves. “Are you sure they’re not sharks?” he joked.
“In a pod?” Canna replied. “No chance. Do I need to prove it?”
“How?”
“Ryan,” she called forward. “Can you take the helm?”
Canna took off her heavy jacket and tossed it on the deck while Ryan took over steering.
“Canna, no!” Claudio cried.
Too late. Canna had already stepped over the wire lifeline, and she jumped feet first into the water. Claudio hung over the edge and saw her emerge with a wide smile. “Canna, what are you doing?”
“It’s okay to touch wild dolphins if they approach you. You can’t approach or harass them, but if it’s their idea, then it’s all good.” She disappeared under the water again, and in the deep dark water she couldn’t be seen. She surfaced again, this time further away.
“What are you doing?” he called to her.
“Making sound vibrations under the water, so th
e dolphins can hear me. Can you swim?”
Claudio scoffed. “Yes.” NO!
“Jump in. Come on.”
“Is it cold?”
“Yes, of course! It’s open ocean.”
Claudio stepped over the knee-high lifeline and balanced his feet against the sloped edge of the white deck. He jumped in, and the cold water engulfed his warm body in a second. Memories of awful swimming lessons as a child came flooding back. He resurfaced to see Canna swimming towards him. At least she was above water, and unable see him kicking and paddling like a drowning puppy.
“You can’t swim,” she commented once she reached him.
“I can.”
“Bullshit. Don’t worry, loads of people aren’t good in the water.” She put her arm out and he took her hand. “I can carry a person in the water, I’ve had practice on my survival course.”
“It’s another thing you’re better at than me.”
“Everyone is good at something.”
Claudio smiled. She seemed so happy. “Why am I in the water?”
“For a birthday kiss. Under the water.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Have you ever been kissed underwater before?”
“No.”
“It’s amazing.” Canna took his other hand so she could pull him under. “Ready, one, two, three.”
Claudio gasped just before she pulled him under the surface. He opened his eyes to see her right in front of him. She brought her lips to his and held his body tight. It was the most bizarre sensation, in the dark sea, hopelessly lost and afraid. Canna protected him, encased in silence. They resurfaced, and he gasped again.
“Check it out, Canna,” one of the guys called from the deck.
They turned and sure enough, the dolphins came in search of the sounds in the water. Claudio held Canna’s stiff arm under the water for buoyancy. His heart pounded when a dolphin surfaced right in front of them, and Canna reached out and touched its back. More were coming in their direction. Something brushed his foot, and he had a ‘Jaws’ panic moment. The shape of a dolphin swam past him. “My God, it touched me!” he cried.
Two more dolphins appeared right before them, and Canna laughed. Claudio reached out as a large dolphin went past, its skin smooth and rubbery against his hand. The eye of the animal looked right at him, and he swore it smiled in return. There were sounds of the clicking of chatting dolphins under the water.
Violent Daylight Page 7
