Violent Daylight

by Caroline Angus Baker

  “Look,” Canna said. She pointed a dolphin nearby with its baby, who stayed away of the fun and games. “How gorgeous.”

  The conversation halted as a dolphin jumped out of the water and splashed the pair of them, causing laughter from all on board the yacht.

  “Happy birthday,” Canna said.

  “You can’t claim this as your gift,” he joked.

  “Why not?”

  A dolphin brushed right by Claudio, rubbing its skin against his body. How many people could say they swum with wild dolphins, way out at sea, somewhere near the south of Sicily? “Okay, you can have some of the credit.”

  “Good,” Canna said as she touched the dolphin that swam past her hand. “I think they’re bottlenose dolphins.”

  “Marine expert, are you?’

  “The sea is the one thing that makes me happy. I love it and I understand it.”

  ~~~

  Eighty-five hours after they left Valletta, Vincitore and her crew crossed the finish line in first place. It had been champagne sailing, as everyone seemed to call it. A thunderstorm blew through the race course on the final night. Claudio thought it astonishing to witness out at sea; he watched as it came towards them, soaked them, and then moved off onto the horizon.

  Once the boat moored outside the Royal Malta Yacht Club, everyone seemed upbeat and happy to have won the race. Hours passed before the second place boat arrived at the dock, with its sailors just as happy with their result, even though they were out-sailed by a woman. Not any woman, but Canna Medici Savelli, who everyone couldn’t help but love. As per tradition, the crew tossed Canna overboard in the marina to celebrate the win. It seemed odd, to throw the winner over the side, but Canna loved it.

  Yuri seemed happy and eager to kiss Canna. Claudio hoped that was because of the exuberance that flowed from the aid of champagne. Canna had a drink, but Claudio didn’t stop her. She seemed calm, collected, focused and happy on the yacht, and for the first time, he thought Canna could be trusted.

  “What now?” Claudio asked as Canna helped toss the wet sailing gear off the boat onto the dock.

  “Now, the yacht club hosts a two day crew party as the boats arrive. Everyone gets to relax and play lawn karate.”

  “Sorry?”

  Canna held out her hands and moved them in poorly-mimicked karate moves. “Men, outside yacht clubs, stand on the lawn, and talk about how they sailed. They use their hands as yacht models and tell each other over-the-top bullshit sailing stories. As they say, sailing is for telling old lies to new friends, and new lies to old friends. Good times!”

  Claudio laughed. “Meanwhile, you get a trophy and a media interview.”

  “This is one of life’s highlights. Just for now, we are in a cocoon of happiness.”

  “I love you, Blinky.”

  Canna smiled and pulled her wet hair back from her face. It was all knotted from the days of blowing wind, and her ponytail looked like a rat’s nest. “I’m so glad you came.”

  CHAPTER 7

  LONDON

  Canna couldn’t deny the pain in her chest when she stood outside the Scott Taylor recording studio. She was back almost a year after her first trip to London to meet the new music phenomenon Virtuosi. Last time she had the luxury of anonymity. She hid in plain sight, under heavy makeup and her maiden name, and behind a smile that fooled everyone. Now they all knew who she was; a drug addict, a liar, a woman who slept with rich old men for money. They all said they understood her addictions and her recovery… but did they understand? Really?

  Canna’s eyes drifted from the double glass doors and up the tall grey building. Inside were the people she hurt with her lies. People like music manager Lea Jacobs, who had hired Canna as an assistant, and Lea’s husband, French tenor Henri Moreau. Virtuosi was their baby and Canna had done it harm by sleeping with multiple members of the team. Austrian tenor Erik Vogler and his now-wife Holly Stafford, Virtuosi’s music director, had worked so hard and were innocent while Canna harmed their careers. The Virtuosi makeup artist and clothing stylist Rebecca Myer had been Canna’s friend and had been in love with English tenor Dane Porter. Canna knew that Rebecca loved Dane and stole the man out from under her anyway. Canna’s meddling with Dane and Claudio at the same time undermined the team attitude of the whole project. The lying, the drugs, the violence… how they survived the European tour was a mystery.

  Dane Porter would be in the studio. He had no idea Canna was in London. She wanted to go inside and see his million-watt smile light up the room, hear his strong voice say her name, feel his long arms around her. He might just take one look at his ex-fiancé and spit blood in her direction – again. She couldn’t blame him after all she had done. Perhaps all his politeness in Corsica at Erik and Holly’s wedding was a courtesy. He could be mad as hell; maybe the dust hadn’t settled on their break-up just yet.

  “What are you doing, Blinky?”

  Canna turned with a smile at the sound of Claudio’s voice. He stood there, with two cups of peppermint tea in his hands, which he had fetched from Angela’s café across the street. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  That I have to see two of my lovers face-to-face? Probably not. “What?”

  Claudio made a gesture in the direction of the fountain that sat outside the studio. Canna had long lost count of how many times the pair had sat in the cold London air. They had sipped peppermint tea while they came to grips with what they meant to one another. They wandered over and sat down together on the edge of the circular fountain. The water that bubbled away was as cold as the autumn air.

  “A chilly morning at the fountain,” Canna said and shivered. “It brings back memories.”

  “Good or bad memories?”

  “Good.” She faced Claudio, and he smiled.

  “Sitting here with you was the one good thing about my life a year ago. I would wake up in the morning, and dash to get here. My wife had never seen me so eager to get up in the morning.”

  “I was always here, waiting for you… and of course, pretending I didn’t want to talk to you.”

  “Best time of my life.”

  “All we did was talk. I was keeping tabs on you… I was making sure I could trust you since you knew I was really an evil drug addict.”

  “I had no intention of ever blowing your cover, Blinky. It was too much fun keeping your secrets.”

  “I’m glad I entertained you.”

  “You loved it because you could tease me about being trapped in the traditional conformity of marriage.”

  Canna chuckled. “Yes, I remember.”

  “You sat here, and told me that you were in search of the adventure of being alive.”

  “I needed sunshine to help my depression.”

  “You said you didn’t want happiness, or peace, or love.”

  “Maybe I was wrong.”

  Claudio sipped his hot tea without taking his eyes off hers. “You wanted pleasure. Finite pleasure that no one could steal from you.”

  “I found it in taking pills, and cutting myself, starving myself, and fucking people for fun. I don’t want to be that woman anymore.”

  “You don’t have to be.”

  “The problem is - will normal, rational people be able to forgive me, or look at me without judgment?”

  “Probably not,” Claudio’s tone was serious and realistic with his answer. “You have to get them to trust you again.”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “You haven’t lied to me. You let me see the worst of you. I’m so addicted to you that I don’t care how many crimes you commit.”

  “Even when I commit crimes against you?”

  Claudio smiled. “Even then.”

  “You have addiction problems, too.”

  “I suffer the same as you, always have.”

  “Why do you put up with me?”

  “No one else would have me while I was married.”

  “Not even your wife!” Canna grinned, and Claudio scowled. �
�Since we’re speaking of the devil, Veena is here. Is it weird working with your wife?”

  “Not really. We don’t cross paths. It’s a little weird now that I’ve brought my mistress along.”

  “I won’t talk to your wife.” Canna put her hand on her heart. “I want nothing to do with Veena. Are you sitting here to avoid her, like always?”

  “Probably.”

  “Go on, go and say good morning to Veena. See how she’s feeling. I would have thought she would be on bed rest with all her blood pressure problems.”

  “She is finishing up work before her maternity leave.” Claudio stood up and crushed the now-empty paper cup in his hand.

  “That action says a lot about how you feel about her,” Canna chuckled. She stood up and took the broken cup from his hand. “Should I meet you in the rehearsal studio?”

  “You won’t come to see Veena?”

  “Oh no. I may not be scared of her, but I don’t need to be in her office either. I did a lot of harm to that woman.”

  “I harmed her, you were just the tool I used.”

  “Classy,” Canna quipped. “We’re both to blame.”

  “You know what we never did at this fountain?”

  “Be honest?”

  “No, kiss. I never kissed you while we sat here.”

  “You were married. I was married, and had a lover who was also your friend.”

  “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to kiss you. I wanted to tell you the truth… that I was interested in you.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t. I was with Dane then, and I loved him. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear.”

  Claudio shrugged and looked at the ground. “I knew that at the time.”

  “But now I afford my love and sincerity to you.”

  “I can’t ask for more than that.” Claudio smiled. “You’re looking especially sexy today.”

  “I know.”

  “For my benefit?”

  “For my benefit.”

  “Your beauty bores you, doesn’t it?”

  “It’s just a shell to hide behind. Don’t be fooled by my outer layer. I’m not fooled by yours.”

  “I never have been. I like all of you, as weird as you are.”

  “I promise I won’t freak out today, I’ll be on my best behaviour.” Canna tossed the cups on a nearby bin, and they walked arm-in-arm into the building. They got the familiar good morning from the receptionist Sasha at the desk, followed by a raised eyebrow when she thought they weren’t looking. They couldn’t be a couple anywhere without coming under scrutiny.

  “As my former employee, I’m sure you can find your way around on your own,” Claudio joked. “I’ll meet you in the studio soon. I would like meeting Veena to be painless, but it never is.”

  “Be nice,” Canna said. “Veena is like a little dog. If you wave a toy at her, she barks on command, but if you don’t, she bites your toes.”

  “Trust me, I know.” Claudio headed in the direction of the elevators.

  “Wow, Canna, nice to see you,” Sasha said as she approached the desk. “How are you?”

  “I’m great, thanks. I guess you’re speaking to me because you want to know if the rumours are true that Claudio and Veena split up because of me?”

  “It’s… it’s just is rumour.”

  “That everyone in this building knows?”

  “Um… yes.”

  “It’s true that Dane and I split, and he is with Rebecca now… you know Rebecca Myer?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, Claudio and Veena are no one’s business. I don’t think we should discuss their marriage.”

  “Or their family. Veena will have the baby soon.” Sasha looked Canna up and down, in her tight black jeans and fitted leather jacket. “Poor Veena.”

  “Veena will be fine,” Canna said. “I’m going into the studio.”

  “You can’t!”

  “Why?”

  “Well, you can, but… but Dane’s in there.”

  “Alone?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I’ll go in anyway.” Canna turned and headed in the direction of the double doors that lead through to the rehearsal stage. While her black high heels took poised steps across the lobby, Canna felt the opposite of poised. She paused at the heavy door and opened it in silence.

  Dane sat at the piano across the room by the stage. The large high-ceiling studio was empty except for him, and piles of technical equipment. The door closed without a sound behind her, and Canna took a few quiet steps in his direction.

  Dane never played the piano that well, but seemed determined to learn. His towering frame sat almost awkwardly in front of the instrument. His sandy-coloured hair, in desperate need of a trim, fell forwards around his face, which was firm in a frustrated expression while he fumbled the notes.

  “Buongiorno.”

  Dane eyes shot up from the keys; Canna’s voice was recognisable in an instant. He sat frozen in position, but his face broke into a wide smile. “My God,” he said.

  Canna returned the smile as Dane dashed from his seat and swept her into his arms. “Sono così felice di rivederti!” he cried.

  “Good to see you, too,” Canna said, a little surprised by his reaction. “Your Italian is still excellent.”

  Dane let her go just enough so he could look her in the eye. The firm embrace held on just long enough to make Canna feel uncomfortable. “How are you?” he asked, his arms still around her.

  “I’m doing okay.”

  “How was the boat race thing?”

  “Good. We won, didn’t take out the race record, but maybe next year.”

  “That’s great.” Dane’s eyes drifted from hers and up and down her body in his arms. “I’m just so surprised to see you back here. It’s a bit surreal.”

  “Yeah.” Canna took a few steps back. “How have you been?”

  “Okay. I’m keen to get back to work. It was a bit boring at home.”

  “And no Rebecca to keep you company? Does that make life boring?”

  “I can live without her. She will be back in London this week.”

  “Maybe I could see her before I go home to Milan.”

  “That’s where you’re living?”

  “Yes, living, working…”

  “Are you coping?”

  “Yes. I’m not on drugs if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “I want you to be okay.”

  Canna paused for a moment and held Dane’s gaze. “Shit, this situation is still awkward, isn’t it? It was hard enough on the phone the other night.”

  “Yes,” Dane exhaled and smiled. “I’m glad you feel as awkward as I do.”

  “We broke up, what… six months ago, and it was about as ugly as it could get.”

  “In your defence, you’re easy to love. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Canna laughed. “Oh boy. At least we are doing this in private, so we can get the weirdness out of the way early on in my visit.”

  “Are you staying in London?”

  “For a few days, then I need to get back to work.”

  “And Claudio, you’re staying with him?”

  “Yes, he has just gone to see Veena.”

  “Hard for you I suppose, for him to be with his wife.”

  Canna shrugged. “I made my own mess, and I have to live with the consequences.”

  “You’re brave, I’ll give you that. Claudio is having a baby with another woman right in front of you. All those precious first moments, Veena gets them with Claudio. You don’t get to share them.”

  “I won’t ever have kids, so it’s not a big deal.”

  “As long as you are happy with the arrangement…”

  “I have to be. Did you get your money from the insurance company after you tossed my engagement ring in the Mediterranean?”

  “No. Since I lied and told them that you lost it in the sea, they need your signature on the paperwork.”

  “Why didn�
�t you say so? I’ll commit insurance fraud for you. If you bring in the papers tomorrow, then I will help you out. It’s the least I can do.”

  Dane sighed. “I have to ask…”

  “Please don’t.”

  “Would you have married me? When it came to it?”

  Canna’s gaze dropped to the wooden floor, and she took a long deep breath. “I loved you. But… I’ll never be what you need. I lied to pretend I was the right woman for you. I kept hurtful secrets and harmed myself with pills and blades and alcohol. I could only see the present; there wasn’t a future for us. I didn’t think I would live very long.”

  “Are you okay now? Honestly?”

  “There are good days and bad days, in equal measure. I hope the good days will start win out eventually.”

  “I don’t know if you and I had any good days. I know I did, but you…” Dane shrugged.

  “Wow.”

  “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay. My therapist goes on about being mindful of how my actions hurt other people.”

  “You still see a therapist after rehab?”

  “Reluctantly.”

  “And do you lie to him?”

  “Never.”

  “Good.”

  “For what it’s worth, Dane, you and I had some very good days. I had days when I thought that I could change my life for you. We had some fun, like those days where I jumped on your back, and Holly jumped on Erik’s back, and we had a race around this very room.”

  “And we kicked ass!”

  “Hell yeah, we did!”

  “I bet you haven’t ridden anyone as good as me lately.”

  “Not with my pants on.”

  Dane snorted with laughter. “Trust you to make it dirty.”

  “You begged for it.”

  “Come on, jump on and I will give you a ride. The pants-on variety, I mean.”

  “I should hope so!”

  “Come on then.” Dane turned around and gestured at his back. “Jump on.”

  Canna did a short run-up in her heels and jumped. Her hands slid up over Dane’s broad shoulders as she wrapped her legs around his hips.