“Do you think Autumn thinks we planned this so we could get back at Major Dick like he said?” I asked, staring up at the stark white ceiling.
“Nah man. She knows he’s a liar.”
“I hope so. I really like her.” I sighed.
He raised his head and looked at me and I looked over at him. “I know you do.”
We were quiet again. I knew what it felt like to want to have time alone. After Alyssa had died, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even Jackson. It was as though you needed time to process everything. Of course Alyssa dying was a different situation, but I’d think if she were to tell me she’d never loved me, it would have been worse.
“I have a date tonight,” Jackson groaned. “I should cancel and stay with you two just in case.”
I shook my head, looking up at the ceiling again. “We should be fine. Nothing links us to this house. The lease is under Saddles & Racks.”
“All right, but if you need me, you call me right away.”
I nodded. “I will.” I paused for a few seconds and then said, “Speaking of work, I think I’m going to tell Doug that I’m out.”
Paul sat up fully. “You want to quit?”
I sat up, my arms on my knees. “You know I just did this to fill a void.”
“I know, but what are you going to do?”
I smiled my first smile in hours. “What about some sort of self-defense course, but we also teach them how to use guns properly?”
Jackson turned his head, looking past me as if he were thinking. “When you say ‘we’—”
“Yeah. You and me.” I motioned between us.
“Hmmm …”
“Think about it. You don’t even have to quit S&R. But if I want this to work out with Autumn, then I need to have another job. I could always go back.”
“That’s true. Look into it.”
Ever since Autumn told me how she’d bought a gun and I promised I’d bring her to the range to teach her how to use it properly, I’d had the idea of teaching women how to shoot. Of course, I didn’t get the chance to show Autumn. If I hadn’t been there today, I couldn’t imagine what would have happened. Maybe she did it because I was there—made her feel safe, but not knowing how to use a gun properly could have turned into an atrocious situation.
Not only did I have the idea that if we taught women to shoot they could defend themselves against abusive spouses like in Autumn’s case, but they’d feel better about living alone or even walking to their cars at night.
The real issue at hand though was if I should tell Autumn about my job or just quit and not tell her anything.
The sun was starting to set when Autumn came out of her room and into the living room where I sat and watched ESPN.
“Hey, you okay, angel?”
She nodded. “Can I get some water?”
“Of course,” I said, starting to sit up.
“I got it. If I’m going to live here, I should learn where everything is.”
“Okay.” I smiled. Hearing Autumn say she was staying after everything that happened during the day, put me at ease. I was scared she’d believe Major Dick about me and Paul having some sort of vendetta against him.
She came back into the room with a glass of water and sat on the opposite side of the couch. I didn’t know what to make of it. I’d expected her to sit next to me and at least lean her head against my shoulder so I could comfort her. She was being distant and I didn’t know if it was me or everything else going on. I wanted to ask but didn’t. After everything worked itself out with Major Dick, then we’d figure us out. That would give me enough time to quit S&R too.
“Can I use your phone? I should call my parents.”
“Of course,” I answered, and handed her my cell phone that was sitting on the coffee table.
She looked up the number for the Luxor and then I waited as she called and told them she got her clothes and things and was with me. She didn’t tell them about the fight or that she pulled two guns on them … or even that he said he’d never loved her.
I knew very little about Autumn, but from what I did know and what I felt like when I was around her, I couldn’t imagine someone not falling in love with her. Even if Major Dick married her before he fell in love with her, they were together for almost four years. I was certain even he couldn’t be that blind to what she had to offer.
“I will. Just one more day … No, I’ll be fine.” Autumn sighed and gave me a weak smile as she talked on the phone.
I went into the kitchen to give her space and looked for something to make for dinner. I wanted to take her out to eat, like a date, but that probably would have been weird. And despite what Jackson thought, I could cook. If he were here and not on his date, I’d prove it to him.
“My parents said thank you.” Autumn came into the kitchen and sat at the breakfast table.
“They’re doing okay?” I asked, resting against the counter with my arms crossed over my chest.
“They are now that I called. I should have called earlier.”
“I’m sure you were emotionally drained.”
“Yeah.” She nodded.
“Do you want to order pizza and watch a movie or something tonight?”
Her eyes lit up and I smiled. “I haven’t had pizza in four years. Rich wouldn’t—”
“Let’s not talk about what he wouldn’t let you do, angel. You’re with me…” I trailed off. I was going to say she was with me now but was she? She just left her husband and I hadn’t been in a relationship in five years. “I mean, you don’t need to do what he says anymore.”
“Right … Okay, let’s order pizza!”
“What kind do you want?”
“Anything except olives and anchovies.”
I chuckled. “All right. My favorite is bacon and jalapenos.”
“Oh my God, that sounds fucking delicious.”
“It is. I don’t have it often though.”
“Then it’s like we’re both celebrating.” Her smile was intoxicating and I wanted to step closer to her and take her lips with mine.
I laughed. “Sounds good to me.” I ordered the pizza and we sat on the couch—again not next to each other—as we watched ESPN. “Do you want me to change it?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’ll let you control the TV for the night. Once I’m all settled in, I can’t promise that I’ll let you guys watch sports twenty-four-seven.”
“It’s going to be like that?”
She shrugged. “You wanted to live with a girl.”
“I wanted to live with you,” I blurted before I realized what I had said. Jesus, it was as if I couldn’t think before I spoke around her.
“Then you’re going to have to deal with it,” she teased, sticking her tongue out. My eyes darted to her mouth and I licked my own lips, thinking about kissing her. “And no using my—”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I sat up on the couch and leaned over, silencing her with my mouth. My hand went to her nape behind her long brown hair as our months moved together.
“—bathroom,” she finished when we pulled apart.
I laughed. “I won’t use your bathroom.”
“Good.”
“Do you want to talk about last—” I was cut off by a knock at the door. Autumn instantly tensed. “I think it’s just the pizza.”
“Right.” She chuckled. “Rich wouldn’t knock.”
I paid for the pizza and set it on the coffee table. “What do you want to drink?”
“Anything strong.”
“I have whiskey, tequila, rum…”
“Whiskey and Coke?”
“A woman after my own heart.” Jesus fucking Christ. Me and my tongue.
She didn’t respond. I went into the kitchen to make our drinks. I was struggling with talking about the night before. I wanted to know what she was thinking—if she wanted to do it again. I sure as hell did, but at the same time I knew she was going through a lot.
I decided to
turn the TV anyway and changed it to re-run of a cop show when I returned with our drinks.
“Holy crap, this is good.” She beamed.
“Told you. It’s spicy and who doesn’t love bacon?”
“Very true. Ranch would make this better.”
Yep… She was after my heart. “We have some.”
She stood and I didn’t say anything about her going to get it. She wanted to feel as if this was her house and I wanted that too.
“I should call Brandi too, but her number was on my phone and I don’t know it by heart.” She started to put a dollop of ranch onto her plate.
“Actually that reminds me.” I dug into the pocket of my jeans. “I took the Sim card from your phone. I bet it will work in mine.”
“You’re a genius!” she gushed as she stood to hug me.
“So what you’re saying is we make a good team?” I smiled while holding her in my arms.
She looked down into my green eyes with her arms still wrapped around my neck. “Totally.”
“Good.” I smiled and gave her a quick peck on the lips.
She pulled away again and I swallowed my confusion down with a sip of my Jack and Coke. “Here,” I said and handed her the Sim card and my phone. I turned my attention back to the TV while she switched the Sim cards out.
“I should probably use your phone after I get her number. I’m not sure if Rich is tracing my phone. He shouldn’t since he broke it and plus I don’t know if you can with Sim cards.”
“I don’t either, but no problem. You can use it.”
“Thank you. And thank you for everything.”
“I told you that I’d protect you, angel. I meant it.”
She sighed. “I know, but I can’t believe I pointed a gun in my husband’s direction.”
“Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Let me call Brandi first. I’m not going to tell her everything yet. Just that I left Rich and we got my things.”
“Okay. I’ll make you another drink.”
“Thank you.” She smiled and I left the room. When I returned she was on the phone, so I left her to take a shower, trying to wash the day away.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Autumn
Every time Gabe kissed me, I wanted to do more. My heart was broken and even though I had my façade up, I didn’t want him to only be a rebound. After a thirty-minute conversation with Brandi where I briefly told her about what had happened with Rich, I looked around for Gabe and he wasn’t in the room.
Talking to Brandi put me at ease. Sure I’d been with Rich for four years, but why should I be sad? I had a man in the next room that since day one had shown interest in me, but … so did Rich. “Most guys aren’t like Rich,” Brandi reminded me. She was right. My heart would take time to heal, but if Gabe kept his word, then he’d help me put my heart back together again.
I faintly heard the water running in his room. Before I realized it, I was walking toward his bedroom. The night before when I was with him it had felt right, and even though I’d been withdrawn since we arrived home¸ I needed him to tell me everything was going to be okay.
I wasn’t sure why I waited until he was in the shower. Maybe part of me wanted to see his naked body in the light since I didn’t see it the night before. Or maybe my heart was telling me it was time to open up and let him comfort me. I knew he’d been trying to, but every time, I heard Rich’s words in my head.
“You think your tears are going to work? I don’t love you, princess.”
I knew I was already falling out of love with Rich, but to hear him that he’d never loved me, was as if he took my heart from my chest and crushed it into a million pieces. For a month, Gabe had been like glue for me; making me laugh, smile, feel happy, feel wanted—cherished and I needed him now.
Walking into his bedroom, I closed the door behind me and stripped off the black yoga pants and purple tank top I’d been wearing for almost twenty-four hours. When we returned home from getting my clothes, I was too emotionally exhausted to even change into something clean. At some point, I fell asleep only to wake up and realize it wasn’t a dream. Everything happened and my entire marriage was a sham.
The door to the en-suite bathroom was open and the water was still running. The steam from the shower was seeping out into the bedroom, and when I rounded the corner to step inside, I could faintly see Gabe’s reflection through the foggy glass doors of the shower.
The mirror was foggy as well and before he saw me, I slipped over and wrote him a note on the glass.
Patiently Waiting,
You’re more of an angel to me than I am to you. Thank you for everything.
-Your Angel
When I opened the glass door to the shower, Gabe stood in all his glory. He was under the spray, the water running down his entire body. I tried not to stare, but really, how could I not? His entire body was perfect. Every bulge, every ripple, every smooth surface. My gaze drifted over his body as I watched the streams of water run down his broad chest, his rippled abs, his hips that lead to that V, his hardening cock, his massive thighs, and to his feet before going down the drain between us.
I slid in, closing the door behind me.
“Angel …” he whispered hesitantly.
“I said you couldn’t use my bathroom. You never said I couldn’t use yours.” I smiled and bit my lower lip.
He chuckled. “I guess I didn’t.”
“Brandi says hi.”
“Does she now?” he asked, the water still cascading down his body as he stood underneath the head of the shower with his back turned toward the tiled wall.
“She also told me to get out of my head because what’s done is done and there’s no going back.”
“I’m not sure it’s that easy.”
We switched places in the shower and I tilted my head back to get my brown hair wet. “Maybe not. He’s not broken up about it, so why should I be?”
“Because you loved him. You can’t just shut that off.”
I tilted my head forward, staring at him. He looked back at me and I saw it in his emerald eyes. He’d loved before and like most first loves, they don’t work out. “You’ve been in love before?”
His eyes closed for a few beats before he responded. “Of course I have. I want to talk about you though. This isn’t about me.”
“Will you tell me about her sometime?”
“You want to know about my first love?”
I nodded. “I do. You know about mine. I’d like to know about yours.”
He thought for a moment. “Okay, but not tonight.” He reached for my hand and pulled me away from the spray of the water and wrapped his arms around me as I leaned on his chest, his chin resting on top of my head. “I want to talk about us. Not knowing is killing me, angel.”
“I want to take it slow—”
“Of course.”
“And what happened last night can’t happen again for a while.”
“Says the girl standing naked in my shower.”
“Touché.” I chuckled, still leaning into his hard body. “Okay, but not every night.”
“Can’t make any promises, angel. Especially when you crawl into my bed and walk into my shower naked.”
“All right, all right. Just promise me that you’ll always tell me the truth.”
He pushed me a little until I was no longer leaning on him. “I’m not him. I’ve never lied to you.”
A lump started to form in my throat remembering almost everything Rich had told me over the years. “It’s going to be hard. You know?”
“I’m a man of my word. You should know by now.”
A tear ran down my cheek, mixing with the shower water and running down my face. “Hope so.”
“You’ll see.” He pulled me into his chest again and he held me. My tears started to flow, mixing with the shower water again. I wasn’t sure if I was crying happy or sad tears. I just knew I couldn’t stop them. “Want to watch a movie in my bed?”
His chest shook as he chuckled. “Only if you want it. I promised you a movie and I want to continue to hold you.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “I probably can’t sleep alone again either.”
“That’s fine with me. I liked waking up to you next to me.”
I liked falling asleep in his arms. The way he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into him until our bodies were touching. The warmth radiating from his body kept me warm. The way he kissed my forehead when he thought I was already asleep before he drifted off. And most of all how safe and comfortable I felt being in his arms. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I was already falling in love.
The next morning, I woke up in Gabe’s arms. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I needed to get a new phone and call around to find an attorney. Knowing Rich, he had already retained an attorney and was probably going to serve me the papers at any moment. I wanted to be prepared for when it happened.
“Don’t go. You’re all warm and soft,” Gabe murmured into my neck with his arms wrapped around me.
“And you’re … hard.” I laughed.
“Another reason for you to stay.”
“We’re supposed to be taking this slow,” I said, reminding him of our conversation in the shower the night before.
“This is slow. We didn’t do it yesterday. We both fell asleep watching the movie.”
I snickered, not saying anything.
“You smell good too,” he whispered along my neck as he kissed it. “Did I ever tell you I love the smell of warm vanilla sugar?”
I drew my head back. “You know what my lotion is called?” When I put it on after the shower, I was in my room, not his.
“I just know the scent.”
“How?” I questioned, chuckling.
He groaned, rolling over to his back. “I just do.”
Silenced filled the air for a few minutes and I watched as he stared up at the ceiling. After a minute or so, he turned his head to face me. The moment our gazes locked, my heart tightened and I knew. “Your first love?”
Angels & Whiskey Page 20
