I groaned. It’s not what I think? What was I supposed to think? He was up close and personal with some chick and it’s not what I think?
Whatever.
I didn’t respond, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to run home. I stuffed my cell phone in the back pocket of my jeans and rounded the hood of the car to wait for Brandi to be ready.
“I’ll buy you your first shot.” Brandi smiled as we walked toward the entrance of the bar.
I smiled back. “Thanks.”
We made a beeline for the heavy oak bar.
“What do you want?” Brandi asked as we waited in line.
“Fireball, of course.”
Brandi laughed. “It’s a cinnamon whiskey kinda night?”
“Damn straight. I’m tired of men fucking with my life.”
“That’a girl, let’s get you drunk.” She laughed.
As Brandi ordered our shots, I scanned the floor. I wasn’t looking for a new guy to be with long term, but I was definitely looking for someone who would take my mind off Gabe and whatever he was doing with that redhead.
I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I knew who it was, but I still didn’t want to deal with Gabe. I needed to be at least tipsy while Gabe told me what he was doing so I didn’t yell in his face.
“Here you go.” Brandi handed me the shot glass filled with amber liquor.
I turned and took the glass from her hand. “Here’s to it and to it again. If you ever get to it and can’t do it, I’ll strap you to it until you learn how to do it.” We clinked glasses and downed the fiery goodness.
She laughed. “What the hell was that?”
I giggled. “I don’t know, but it’s something my dad always says.”
We sat our empty shot glasses on the bar and then moved to a table that had opened up nearby. I watched as people danced, enjoying the live band, and having a good time. That’s what I should’ve been doing—having a good time and not thinking about Mr. Green Eyes. But I needed more liquid courage before I could dance with strangers.
“How are your parents taking everything?” Brandi asked.
I shrugged. “As good as they could be. I know this is bad to say, but I think my parents are relieved that Rich is dead. I know they liked him a lot, but after finding out what he did to me over the years, it’s a relief.”
“It’s totally a relief. We all liked Rich, but we all didn’t know the real Rich. Not even you.”
“I know,” I sighed. “Let’s not talk about the past.” I groaned. “I was really starting to like Gabe. I can’t believe he’s out with another woman.”
A waitress came over and we each ordered a shot of Fireball and a Jack and Coke.
“He hasn’t called you or anything?”
“He texted me saying some bullshit that it wasn’t what I think and to meet him at home.”
There was that word again. Home. In the short time I was living with Gabe, it had really started to feel like home. But now the word felt foreign on my tongue.
It had almost been a week since Rich died. I was still waiting to hear how. I was told he was poisoned, and we weren’t allowed to leave town because they had yet to determine how and by what. My house was no longer an active crime scene, but I still couldn’t bear being there at night by myself. Gabe had offered to stay with me—to make me feel safe, but even though it was my house, I still felt as if Gabe didn’t belong. I needed to sell the house and buy one of my own. It needed to be something new in my life—like a new beginning and I thought all along Gabe would be my new beginning.
“Maybe he has a good reason for being out with some chick?”
“Come on, B. What good reason could he possibly have? He told me he had some business to take care of. That didn’t look like business to me.”
The waitress returned with our drinks.
“All I’m saying is that Gabe has been nothing but a good guy toward you. He hasn’t shown you once that he has anything to hide, right?”
I stop swirling my straw in my drink. “Except his job. Every time I ask him about his job, he changes the subject or we get interrupted. He hasn’t told me what he or Paul do for a living. Do you know what Paul does for a living … What are you doing here?” I asked, looking over as both Gabe and Paul walked to our table and stopped in front of us.
“I need to explain,” Gabe professed. “But not here. Please come back home and I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”
“Don’t you see I’m out with my friend? Why don’t you return back to your friend? You two looked very co—”
“Stop. Please, angel,” he pleaded.
“Let’s all four go back to our place. Brandi needs to hear this too,” Paul interjected.
“I do?” Brandi asked.
“Yes,” Paul said.
“I agree. You both need to hear this,” Gabe said.
“What? Are you two like secret agents or something?” Brandi laughed.
Paul laughed. “Sometimes.”
Gabe nudges Paul and then Brandi spoke as if she didn’t hear Paul’s response. “Let’s just go and see what they have to say, Autumn. If you still don’t like it, you can stay with me until we figure out your house situation.”
“Fine, let’s go.” I downed the rest of my drink still needing the liquid courage.
The alcohol was starting to heat up my veins by the time we arrived back at the house. He was ready to talk and so was I.
“You might want to sit down.” Gabe gestured toward the couch.
“Or have some more to drink.” Paul laughed.
I gave Brandi a wary look as we both sat on the couch. “I’ll take a shot of Fireball.”
Paul walked toward the kitchen while Gabe sat in a chair in front of me. My gaze met his and I could see the worry in his emerald eyes. Whatever he had to tell me was scaring him.
“Promise that you’ll let me tell you everything before you storm off?” Gabe pleaded.
I nodded and reached for the shot of whiskey from Paul.
“Do you want me to leave the room?” Brandi asked.
“No.” Gabe shook his head. “Autumn will tell you eventually, and it’s better if you hear it directly from us.”
“Us?” I asked as I set the glass down.
“Should I have a shot too?” Brandi asked with a chuckle and looked up at Paul.
“You might need one, firecracker.”
Brandi and I looked at each other while Paul poured her a shot and refilled mine. I eyed the shot glass then looked back up to Gabe. He nodded for me to take the shot. I didn’t question him. Whatever he was going to tell me was probably better not one-hundred percent lucid.
After taking a deep breath, Gabe glanced at Paul and then back at me. “We’re male escorts.”
It felt as if the room spun. Like a dizzy spell came over me. Part of me had expected him to tell me he was in the Secret Service or working for the FBI, but I never expected him to tell me that people paid him for sex.
“Come again?” Brandi uttered.
“It’s not as bad as you think,” Paul said.
“We’re paid to go on dates,” Gabe said.
I still couldn’t speak. I wasn’t sure if I should be mad or find it funny. I never in a million years thought they’d be escorts. Last I knew, it was illegal to pay for sex. Apparently, I was attracted to criminals.
“I should clarify that today was my last date.”
I felt three sets of eyes on me, waiting for a response. “I need some air.” I stood and made my way toward the backyard. Gabe had asked me not to storm off, but it was too much. I’d only been with four guys in my twenty-nine years and Gabe apparently had been with … well, a lot of women.
“Angel, I quit because of you.”
My hand stayed glued to the door handle. I looked over my shoulder at him. “You did?”
“Tonight was the first date I’d been on since we’ve been together. I hadn’t had a chance to quit before today.”
Turning around to
face him, I asked, “Why didn’t you just tell me when I asked you what you did for a living?”
I could hear Brandi and Paul laughing in the living room. Seemed she was okay with her friends being male escorts. If Gabe and I were just friends, I’d probably find the situation funny, too.
“I didn’t want to lose you before I could save you.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’ve had two weeks to tell me.”
He leaned back against the kitchen counter. “I need to tell you why I became an escort and maybe you’ll understand my hesitation to tell you.”
“Okay, tell me.”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’ve been in love once before, and she died in my arms.”
My eyes widened. “How?” I whispered.
“She was a medic in my platoon. Just like most days, we got a call to pick up a wounded soldier, but when we arrived we were ambushed and she took a bullet in the chest. As she lay in my arms dying, something changed. I didn’t think my heart could ever love again—I never wanted to love again. But you’ve stolen my way to breathe, angel.” He took the few steps to where I stood and reached his hand up to cup my cheek. I wanted to lean into it because his touch always made me feel safe, but instead, I stood there, peering into his green eyes and trying not to be inconsiderate. “I’ve gone on dates and I only see you. I don’t need to fill a void with other women or a bottle of whiskey anymore. I just want you. Nothing compares to you.”
“Why become an escort? Why not do something with your skills from the army or become a personal trainer?”
“Money. Paul. Not wanting to open up to anyone. I still had needs and it was the easiest way to satisfy them. And I got paid for it.”
“I was lied to for four years, Gabe. How can I trust you?”
“I’m not him. I’ll never be him.”
“But how can I be certain?”
“When you’ve been to war, you tend to not take things for granted.”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d heard those words before.
“What?” Gabe asked.
“Rich told me the same thing once. I have to go, Gabe. I need time to think. This is all too much.”
“Autumn, wait!”
I didn’t wait.
I needed air and I needed to be alone—away from everyone.
Without saying a word, I grabbed my purse, ran out the front door to my car and quickly drove away as Gabe stood on the curb begging me to stay.
The moment I pulled away, it felt as if I’d left my heart on the sidewalk with Gabe. Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I realized I’d had too many shots and shouldn’t be driving. Instead of going left to leave to the main road, I went right and parked on the street. Cutting the engine, I leaned back against the headrest, closed my eyes and sobbed.
What was wrong with me? Why did I attract liars? Gabe’s lie was only about his job. Was him getting paid to date a big deal? It was a known fact that escorts had sex with their clients, and the thought of how many women Gabe had been with had me feeling as if sex wasn’t special to him. I’d spent too many years being forced to have sex with Rich. I wanted sex to be special.
My phone buzzed in my purse.
Brandi: Are you okay? Where’d you go?
Me: I’m fine. Just give me a few minutes.
His words rang in my head. “Angel, I quit because of you.” He’d quit to be with me. We’d only known each other a couple of months, yet he’d quit his job to be with me. My heart swelled and ached at the realization. He wanted to be with me and knew that escorting wouldn’t allow that to happen.
“I’ve been in love once before, and she died in my arms.”
As I thought of everything he said, it dawned on me that he said he was in love before. What did he mean by before? Before me?
“… I don’t need to fill a void with other women or a bottle of whiskey anymore. I just want you.”
After replaying his words over and over in my head, I wiped my tears and drove back home realizing that I’d only left because I could leave. Rich would never have let me drive off without coming after me and punishing me. Gabe, on the other hand, had let me leave.
I parked in my usual spot in front of the house, then checked to make sure no mascara was running down my face in the mirror before I got out of the car and walked into the house. I spotted Brandi and Paul sitting on the couch, watching TV on opposite sides. When they noticed me, they both looked up and gave me a tight smile. At Blue Martini I thought something was going on with the two of them, but seeing them now, changed my mind. Brandi was telling the truth; she and Paul were just friends. In my gut I knew she’d never cheat on Todd and I shouldn’t have doubted her. Paul was a great guy and friend.
“It’s not good, Auttie,” Paul sighed.
“What do you mean?” I asked, looking around for Gabe.
“When Cochran died in his arms, he turned to whiskey to sleep to try to forget her because he had nightmares. When he decided to get close to you, the nightmares stopped and so did the drinking—until tonight. After you’d left, he grabbed the bottle of Jack from the liquor cabinet and went to his room.”
I nodded and walked toward Gabe’s bedroom—the room that we’d been sharing each night. I knocked softly on the door, but there was no answer. I took a deep breath and tried turning the door knob. It opened and I stepped into the dark room. I could smell the stench of the whiskey and I wanted to cry again. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have left Gabe begging on the sidewalk. I should have been a grown woman and talked it out with him. Instead, I’d let the past control my future.
“Gabe?” I whispered, but there was no response.
I stepped closer to the bed. The moment my hand touched his warm skin, I realized how much I’d miss him if I let his past ruin our future. He saved me and I needed to save him.
After stripping my clothes, I crawled into the bed, moving as close as I could to Gabe without being on top of him.
He groaned. “Angel?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“You left me,” he slurred.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You can’t leave me again.”
“I won’t.”
“I love you, angel.”
My eyes widened at his words. I didn’t know if he said he loved me because he was drunk or because he actually did love me, but one thing was certain…
I was in love with him too.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Gabe
I woke and rolled into a warm, soft body. At first I thought maybe it was a chick I had brought home during my drunken stupor, but then I remembered that Autumn came home …
And that I’d told her I loved her.
I do love her. I love her as much as I loved Alyssa—if not more. My relationship with Alyssa was hard because we had to sneak around. I wanted to marry her, but as I have gotten to know Autumn, I realized I didn’t know Alyssa like I knew Autumn. The ability to be with Autumn was allowing me to be myself and not a sneaky person.
I slowly got out of the bed, trying not to wake her. She didn’t wake and I went into the connecting bathroom and brushed the whiskey from my breath. I needed a glass of water, but instead I climbed back into bed with Autumn. Brushing her hair out of her face, I leaned down and kissed her lips. I was worried I’d never be able to taste her again. She moaned the moment my lips touched hers and then her eyes opened and a smiled spread across her face.
“I’m happy you came home.”
“You remember?”
I groaned as I felt a sting in my heart. Rolling onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling. “After you’d left, I drank a lot, but I remember. I always remember. It was just hard to stay awake with all the alcohol—that’s why I drink. I need it to sleep when shit gets real.”
“I don’t understand how you drank so much. I wasn’t even gone an hour.”
“What can I say, angel? Whiskey and I know how to get shit done.”<
br />
She rolled over and placed her chin on my bare chest. “Are you feeling okay? Hungover or anything?”
“Nah. I’ve built up a tolerance over the years.”
I didn’t want Autumn to know my dark past, but she was grilling me about the drinking and I knew I couldn’t lie to her … again. I knew that trust was a big issue for her. If I let her know all of my dark demons and she didn’t want to be with me, then I was only meant to meet her so she could get her away from Rich. But I love her…
“Do you remember what you said last night when I came back?”
I leaned up and rolled her over so that she was on her back and I was hovering over her. “When Alyssa died, I never wanted to feel that pain again. I never wanted any woman to get close to me—until you. Part of me felt as if Alyssa sent you to me … Like she wanted me to be happy and you would be that person.”
I kissed her briefly. “So yes, angel, I love you. The moment you drove away last night, it felt as if you drove off with my heart. I wanted to go after you, but Paul told me to give you time. I was out of my mind and I didn’t think you’d come back—”
She placed a finger on my lips. “I love you too.”
“Yeah?” I asked, a huge smile spreading across my face.
She nodded. “From the moment I first saw you, I couldn’t get you out of my head, and when I saw you with Trista … I was jealous—so jealous.”
“I was only her date.”
“I know, but seeing you with another woman—”
“Isn’t as bad as it was for me to see you with Rich.”
She groaned. “Sometimes I think that this is all a dream. That Rich is alive and—”
“It’s not a dream, angel.” I lowered my head and kissed her softly. “No one is ever going to hurt you again.”
She nodded her head, her eyes glassy. “I’m much stronger now. Thanks to you.”
“You were strong the moment you decided to leave him. And thankfully, I ran into you that day—literally.” I chuckled. “And you know what?”
“What?” she asked, lowering her gaze to my lips as if she wanted me to kiss her again.
So I did.
“I’m going to love the shit out of you. We may fight, bicker, slam doors, even want to strangle each other sometimes, but I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you.”
Angels & Whiskey Page 23
