Angels & Whiskey

by Kimberly Knight

  The shuttle ride that took us from the airport to where we were staying at the Signature at MGM Grand was long and tense, Mike snapping at me under his breath most of the way. Once we checked in and took our bags up to the room, he wanted to head downstairs to look for something to eat. Most men get cranky when they haven’t eaten, and he was no exception. I trailed behind him as he stalked over to the food court, glancing from one fast food option to the other. Biting my lip, I hesitated before speaking up to remind him that we had a dinner reservation at Roy’s Restaurant that night for Valentine’s Day. Yep, not only was the next day my best friend’s thirtieth birthday—the whole reason we were there in Sin City—but we’d also arrived on Valentine’s Day. And of course I had to make our dinner reservation, because God knew he’d never do it himself.

  Ignoring me, Mike finally settled on which place he wanted to grab food from—McDonalds. I shook my head in exasperation and mumbled that I was going to get something from the frozen yogurt place across the food court. Barely acknowledging me, he turned his attention to the cashier who asked to take his order. After perusing all of the choices, I chose my flavor of yogurt and opted to forgo adding any toppings, moving to the cash register to pay.

  As I sat down in the small booth across from him, Mike glanced over at me and smirked. “Really, Erin? You couldn’t get some real food? How much was that anyway?”

  “Um, I dunno…like seven dollars, I think.” Was he kidding me? McDonalds was what he considered real food? Who was he to give me shit over spending money on some frozen yogurt?

  He laughed and sneered at me. “You’d better eat all of it then. That’s freaking ridiculous for some yogurt.”

  “I’ll eat all of it,” I said defensively, digging my spoon into the quickly melting frozen yogurt that I had completely lost my appetite for. “It’s Las Vegas…you know everything’s more expensive here.”

  “That doesn’t mean you have to buy into their bullshit. If you’re going to spend that kind of money, you should’ve at least gotten something of more substance.”

  I stared at the tabletop as he bit into his cheap burger and stuffed some greasy fries into his mouth. This trip was supposed to be a fun little break from the real world, but instead, it felt like I’d been sentenced to the weekend from hell. I hated how often he belittled me and made me feel dumb. It seemed like it took an eternity for Mike to finish his meal, then we headed back up to the room.

  Thankfully, now that he had some food in him, Mike had mellowed out, but I was still furious with him for making things so tense and awkward on what was supposed to be a fun little weekend trip. While he was now acting completely relaxed like nothing had happened, I was still upset and ready to pick a fight. He flopped onto the large hotel bed, grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, then stuffing a pillow under his head, he got comfortable as he flipped through the channels.

  I seethed at the easy way he was able to let everything go and act like nothing at all had happened. Like he hadn’t just acted like a total dick to me downstairs. Like he hadn’t already ruined the entire trip for me with his shitty attitude. Sitting down on the bed beside him, I finally found my voice and said something.

  “I don’t want to be like this,” I said to him quietly.

  “What are you talking about?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow as he glanced sideways at me before returning his attention back to the TV.

  “I don’t want to fight with you like this every time we go somewhere together,” I clarified, looking over at him.

  “Erin, let it go. I’m already over it. You’re just trying to create drama. You know you live for that shit,” he said as he continued to flip through the channels.

  “No, I’m not going to let it go. I hate living like this. I don’t want to argue with you, and I’m not trying to create drama, but I don’t want to be like this when we travel anymore.” A sob hitched in my throat as a few tears started to leak from the corner of my eye.

  Hearing me get all emotional, Mike groaned and rolled his eyes. “Don’t start crying. See, you are just trying to create drama. There’s no good reason for you to be crying right now.”

  “Yes, there is. I was in a perfectly good mood when we left our apartment this morning, and then you started bitching as soon as we got to the airport, and you got me all worked up and irritated, and now you’re just lounging here like nothing’s wrong at all while I’m tired and upset from you being a jerk to me all day!”

  “I haven’t been a jerk to you all day. Stop being dramatic.” I hated it when he said those words. Stop being dramatic. I’ll show him dramatic.

  “I’m not being dramatic, and yes, you have been a total jerk to me all day for no good reason. I know you hate traveling, but that doesn’t make it okay for you to go into asshole mode and take it out on me.”

  “Whatever, Erin, let’s just drop it. We’re here, so let’s just enjoy the rest of the trip. I’m over it. Let it go.”

  Mike again returned his attention to the TV and finally settled on a re-run of The Big Bang Theory while I sat there fuming in silence. It never failed. If he did something shitty and it upset me and I then tried to confront him, he would turn it around completely so that it was my fault, blaming me of acting dramatic. I was sick of it.

  I felt numb through the rest of our trip. I tried to keep the peace with Mike, even plastering on a big smile for my friend Allison when we met up with her and her friends and family the next evening for her birthday party. She’d chosen to go to the Minus Five Ice Lounge at the Monte Carlo, so after we’d all bundled ourselves into long blue winter coats, black boots and gloves—except for the birthday girl, who was given a luxurious looking fur coat—we headed into a freezing room completely made of ice.

  Once inside, I knocked back fruity shot after fruity shot, enjoying the refreshing coolness of the ice glass in my gloved hand. Several drinks later, I didn’t even care that Mike had acted like a dick when we’d first gotten to Vegas. I was feeling way too warm and fuzzy to be in a bad mood.

  The rest of the weekend went smoothly, but exiting our plane after we landed at the Burbank Airport, I felt empty inside. My feet felt like lead as I trailed behind Mike down the long hallway and out of the airport terminal. We walked the short distance to where we’d left the car parked and put our luggage in the trunk. Mike said he’d drive home, which was more than fine by me, so I nodded in agreement and climbed in the passenger seat. Tilting the seat back, I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into my thoughts.

  I was beginning to think I’d made a huge mistake. Maybe Mike wasn’t the one for me. The thought terrified me. I had given him almost ten years of my life. Why was I only now realizing that I was never going to be happy and content with this man? I should have listened to him all of those years ago when he told me he just wanted to be friends.

  When I first found Mike in the personals section on Craigslist, I was twenty-three and already tired of living the single, party lifestyle. I’d gone from one long-term relationship to another since I was sixteen, never really giving myself the chance to just have fun and casually date. So when I hit my early twenties, I finally let myself do just that. Only I let it get a little out of hand. The good girl brought up in a Christian home by devoutly religious parents went a little hog wild. If someone offered me drugs, I was down to experiment. I used several internet dating sites to meet and hook up with guys. By the end of my two-year party spree, I felt dirty and used, like I’d slept with, fallen for and been rejected by half the male population of Los Angeles.

  I was more than ready to meet a genuinely nice guy and settle down. No more partying for me. Well, I mean I still planned on occasionally hitting up a club with my girls (gotta get out and shake my moneymaker once in a while), but I was done with “dating” a new guy every few days. Mike was the answer to my prayers.

  Responding to an ad I posted in the personals section, he said he just wanted to meet people and make some new friends, so the first time we met, I didn’
t put any effort into looking especially nice for him. If he wanted to be “just friends”, why bother? I didn’t fix my hair, didn’t put on makeup, didn’t wear anything dressy or fashion forward…I just showed up in baggy jeans and a t-shirt.

  Tall and lanky with blond hair and blue eyes, he wore a white, long-sleeved shirt, a thick, knotted silver chain and stone-washed jeans. The first thing I thought when I saw him was that he was a total hottie and vaguely resembled Eminem with his buzzed haircut. He looked like a skater, which was right up my alley, but he said he was only looking for friends, so it didn’t really matter what he looked like anyway.

  We went to see a movie and then sat outside the theaters talking for hours. Well, I talked. He just listened for the most part. Since I didn’t really care what he thought about me if we were just going to be friends, I decided not to hold anything back and told him everything about myself.

  Over the next few weeks, we went to see two more movies. Each time after we got out of the theater, I would drive him to where he had parked his car. He would sit there awkwardly in my passenger seat for a moment and then just get out of the car and close the door without even saying good-bye or that he had a nice time. I thought it was a little weird, but I assumed he was probably just shy.

  Eventually I invited him over to my place so I could cook him dinner while he watched the Laker game. I remember it clearly like it was yesterday. In an attempt to impress him with my mediocre cooking skills, I decided to make one of my grandmother’s old recipes—cubed steak with a cream of mushroom sauce and mashed potatoes. It wasn’t fancy, but to me it was yummy and filling. However, of course, I managed to burn the damn meat. And then I attempted to pick off the burnt pieces and salvage the dinner. If he noticed that the meal was less than perfectly cooked, he didn’t give any indication that he thought so and only said it was delicious.

  After dinner, I did what almost any girl would do if she wants to let a guy know she’s interested in taking things to the next level: I jumped him. And he didn’t stop me, so there went the whole “I just want to be friends” thing. The sex was kind of awkward at first. He was a virgin and had literally no experience with women before me. He hadn’t even really kissed a girl before me.

  I remember going to lunch with some of my friends who asked me how things were going with Mike. I told them that he seemed like a really nice guy and I was very attracted to him; however, I didn’t really see things going anywhere long-term. The next week, we slept together again. This time the results were so different, I wasn’t sure I had the same guy in my bed. It was like he had read a sex manual overnight. What an improvement! I felt so relieved. He may have been new to the game, but Mike was a fast learner. And I was completely appreciative of that fact.

  Fast forward almost ten years later, and here we were. We’d grown up together. We’d learned together. We’d loved each other. And I was ready to strangle him most days.

  Finally, the car came to a stop and Mike nudged me, letting me know we were home. I opened my eyes and grabbed my purse, taking my phone out to text my friend Cara, who had just moved into her own apartment after having to live with an ex-boyfriend for several months after they broke up.

  Erin: Hey girl.

  Cara: Hey! Are you back from Vegas? How was it?

  Erin: Yeah, we literally just got home. Need to unpack and get ready for work tomorrow. Vegas was eh.

  Cara: Uh oh, did something happen?

  Erin: Kinda. Dinner sometime this week?

  Cara: Sure! You wanna come over and see the new place after you get off work on Tuesday night? I’ll make something yummy for us and we can talk more.

  Erin: Sounds perfect. See you there around 7:15?

  Cara: See you then.

  Erin: Yay! Can’t wait to see you. :)

  Cara: You too. :)

  * * *

  Monday morning came way too quickly for my taste as usual. Returning to work after going out of town was always slightly depressing. I loved traveling so much—getting to explore new places and visiting some old favorites as well. It was my dream to eventually quit my day job and support myself doing something creative full-time, and I fervently hoped that whatever I ended up doing, getting to travel frequently would be part of the package. But until that time came, at least my day job was one I enjoyed, and I loved the people I worked with.

  “Well if it isn’t my favorite person in the world,” a male voice said behind me.

  Quickly spinning around in my office chair, I squealed when I saw who it was. Bald, tan and tattooed with a lean build and always sporting his signature golf cap, Vinnie was easily one of the most attractive guys I worked with; however, since he worked for a branch of our company that was based in Australia, I only saw him on the rare occasion when work brought him to the L.A. office.

  “Hey Vinnie,” I said as I hopped up to give him a quick squeeze, blushing slightly as he came in for a cheek kiss greeting. Of course he had to smell sinfully good. Of course! Reluctantly I pulled back and plastered on a professional smile before sitting back down again. “So what can I do for you? Need some games? Got a flight for me to book?”

  “Actually, yeah, can you hook me up with copies of the latest? Whatever’s new would be awesome.”

  “Sure thing. For Xbox 360?”

  “Yep. Can’t believe you remember that.”

  “I have a good memory,” I said, tapping my fingers against my temple as I flashed him a sweet smile. He was seriously swoon worthy and seriously made me wish I was single.

  “That you do,” Vinnie said as he nodded at me with an appreciative smile. “And then yeah, I was supposed to be returning to Australia this weekend, but I need to push my flight to the following weekend. Also, I’m going to need to fly to Austin tomorrow and return on Thursday. Can you book the flights and hotel for me?”

  “Consider it done. I’ll book a room at the Renaissance Austin. Aisle seat?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “No probs.”

  Vinnie fished a peppermint candy out of the crystal dish I had sitting on my ledge. “Thanks, Erin. You’re a lifesaver.” As he unwrapped the sweet and popped it in his mouth, I couldn’t help thinking that he’d be minty fresh if I kissed him right now.

  “Always happy to help. I’ll email you the itinerary. Swing by later this afternoon for your travel folder.”

  “Will do, babe,” he said and then flashed another charming smile at me. “Is Jerry in right now?”

  “Yeah, he has a few minutes before his next meeting. Go ahead. I know he’ll want to see you.”

  “Cool, thanks.” I watched Vinnie pick up his bag and walk his fine ass down the short hallway to knock on the last door. That door belonged to Jerry Davis, who was the EVP of Production and had been my boss for the past three years. Our personalities gelled, but supporting him could be overwhelming.

  Jerry’s schedule was constantly changing, and there were many days I felt like I was drowning as I played Tetris with his calendar, trying to cram all of his meetings into the short amount of time available. A week into the job, I started chugging energy drinks and coffee to keep my energy level up as I alternated between phone calls and emails to schedule, confirm, reschedule and cancel meetings. From dawn until dusk, I was a meeting schedule machine. In three years, I had taken an actual lunch—and by “actual lunch”, I mean like when you leave your desk and either eat somewhere else or you leave the premises and go out to eat—maybe a dozen times, and usually it was for birthday, new hire or goodbye lunches. Usually I ate at my desk, or sometimes I skipped it completely, opting to eat a big breakfast and dinner instead. And yeah sure, I’ll admit that I’ve often snuck pieces of chocolate from my candy dish when I couldn’t get away for lunch.

  Just as Vinnie moved to knock on the door, he paused and then stood there for a moment, seeming to think about something before he turned back around and headed back towards me.

  “What are your plans for lunch today?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow a
t me.

  It wasn’t the first time we’d gone to lunch together, but I felt slightly guiltier every time we did, because I always enjoyed myself so thoroughly that it made me regret the fact that I had a fiancé.

  “Um, nothing special. Just some leftover spaghetti I made last night.”

  “Hmm…well since you just made it last night, it’ll keep another day, right?”

  My mouth twitched as I fought to keep from smiling and I nodded slowly in agreement. “Yes, I suppose it can.”

  “Great. Have sushi with me then? My treat.”

  “Sushi sounds great, but I don’t know if I can get away. I have a last minute meeting I have to book for Jerry; there are thirteen guys I have to include from this office, and he wants all of them there. No exceptions.”

  “When’s the meeting?”

  “Tomorrow morning.”

  “Aw, that’s plenty of time,” Vinnie started to say, but then seeing the look on my face, he shook his head and laughed. “No? That’s not enough time?”

  “Not really when you consider how tight all of these guys’ schedules are. Several of them have conflicting meetings, so now I get to play phone tag with all of the assistants today.”

  “Eesh. Well, better you than me. You’re good at that kinda shit.”

  Good at that kinda shit? Okay. I’ll take that.

  “Thanks,” I said, my lips quirking in a smile. “I think.”