Perhaps the shouting wasn’t a good idea. His head was already throbbing from the alcohol overdose he’d given himself. He needed to clear his mind. He needed his brain to work, damn it. He was being a horrible friend by abandoning Lorcan and his friends in their time of need.
“They are bears,” He whispered. “How the fuck does shit like that even exist?”
Who was he to question how bear people existed when he in fact knew that wolf people existed already? It was like the pot calling the kettle black, right? Maybe bear-hunters existed, too. Wait wait, no. He was getting way off course.
“I need to go back,” He nodded matter-of-factly, glancing at his reflection again. “Stop being a pussy,” He frowned. “Go do what you do best.”
Twenty Four
Natalie knew that things were going to come to a head eventually, but she had no idea that it would happen so soon. She had done so well to avoid Arnold at all costs, but after Lorcan and Presley decided to spontaneously announce her niece’s pregnancy to the world, Natalie was left with no choice but to face Arnold Goult. They did have one thing in common, of course; their niece.
She was delighted for Presley in every way a proud aunt could be. She had missed out on so much of her life already, but if Urseth was giving her a second chance, she would do everything in her power to be an important person in the girl’s life. She would love her to the best of her ability, and do whatever she could to ensure her happiness. It’s what an aunt was supposed to do, wasn’t it?
As everyone began to prepare for sleep, Natalie found herself on the back deck with a heated cup of coffee in hand. She was perched on the top step, eyes on the starry night sky as she took solitude in the peaceful atmosphere. It was the first time in a very long time that she felt truly relaxed. It wasn’t exactly easy to be relaxed around Breslin, and for the last few days she had been walking on eggshells around Arnold.
He hated her-she knew that. He would always hate her. It wasn’t even her fault, really…..
The sound of the screen door creaking open caused her to turn her head, surprised to see the male ursithrope exiting the house to join her on the deck. Well, speak of the devil…..
Arnold was silent as he leaned against the rail, his eyes scanning the large field located behind the Bamey house as he sighed. Something was weighing heavily on his mind. Natalie could tell that much, but she wasn’t sure why he was out here, with her.
“So we’re going to have a great niece or nephew,” He said after a moment.
She cleared her throat, blinking rapidly as she hugged her jacket tightly around her shoulders. She took another drink from her cup, allowing the hot liquid to warm her chilled frame before she replied.
“It seems to be that way,” She responded quietly.
“Mhm,” Arnold nodded. His green eyes looked at anything but her, and she was oddly relieved. “Guess that means a lot of things have to change around here.”
“I guess so,” She dropped her gaze to the steps.
So much for feeling relaxed, she thought with a small frown. Even if he chose to ignore her for the rest of the night, being this close to him caused her body to slip into panic mode. It was so stupid!
She silently hoped he would go away. She didn’t want to have a conversation with him and her inner bear was going to torment her if he didn’t keep his distance.
He is out here for a reason, her bear hissed.
Just remember whose fault it was in the first place, okay? Natalie rolled her eyes, finishing up her cup of coffee before sighing. Damn it. Now she didn’t have anything to keep her preoccupied.
“I don’t know why you did it,” Arnold admitted. “Why did you do it?”
Crap. Natalie slowly turned her head to look at him, completely taken aback to discover he was staring at her, too. Aw, crap! Her entire frame trembled as she gripped the cup between her hands, feeling the truth well up in her throat. No, she didn’t want to talk about it. She never wanted to talk about it, ever; especially with him.
“It’s late,” She pointed out, feigning exhaustion as she stood from the top step and turned for the door. She took two steps forwards and gasped as she felt his hands gripping her shoulders. The world spun around her and Natalie’s back slammed against the bricks as Arnold growled. The cup she’d had a death grip on fell from her hands, breaking upon impact with the floor. She stared up at him with wide eyes, taking note of the intense glowing of his emerald hues.
“Answer the question,” Arnold demanded. “You don’t get to run away from me like that ever again. Do you understand? You’re staying out here until you answer the damn question, Natalie.”
She felt her chest tightening as she stared at him, unable to find the ability to make her voice work. She trembled against his hard body, feeling her skin heat up to uncomfortable levels as she squirmed.
“Please let me go,” She whispered in a quivering voice. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I don’t give a damn what you want,” Arnold snarled as he smacked his open palm against the wall near her head. “You gave up that right a long time ago, Natalie. We’ll stay here all night if that’s what it takes.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing her heart back into place as a small whimper escaped her lips. Did he really need to be so mean about it?
“Answer me,” He whispered. His lips touched the outer shell of her earlobe, causing tiny jolts of electricity to pulsate through her nerve endings as she bit her bottom lip. “Why did you do it?”
“I….” She gulped, letting her head fall back against the bricks as she lifted her eyes towards the night sky. It was better to look upwards than to meet his gaze. She didn’t want to look at him. She couldn’t. “I couldn’t let her die,” She whispered. “I couldn’t let her go through that.”
The sound of Arnold’s claws raking over the bricks was deafening in her ears and it only caused the panic she currently felt to grow.
“I’m not talking about why you saved her. I want to know why you betrayed us in the first place.”
Oh. No, she didn’t want to talk about that either. He wouldn’t understand. He couldn’t possibly understand her reasoning for the choices she’d made in the past. He couldn’t-
“Natalie,” He growled hoarsely. “Tell me why.”
Each ragged breath she took made her lungs ache. It seemed like her body was purposefully trying to deprive her of oxygen, making such a simple human thing unbearable. She choked back a sob, shaking her head quickly.
“Please don’t do this…..”
“Tell me,” He said through clenched teeth, his head moving in whichever direction hers tried to go. He refused to break eye contact with her and it was infuriating. “Why did you run away with that mutt after he killed your brother? Why did you betray us?”
Ow. It really hurt when he put it like that. However, it would appear as if that’s exactly how it happened, wouldn’t it? She didn’t run away…..
“I didn’t have a choice,” She finally whispered.
“Bullshit. You always have a choice,” Arnold argued. His eyes darted back and forth between hers, his lips anchoring into a frown as he shook his head. “Try again.”
The tears were welling up in her eyes as she forced her mind to go back in time. The memory became vivid and terrifying as she closed her eyes, remembering exactly how it played out.
“On the night my brother died, we had gone into the woods to do something we did often together. We were going to pray to Urseth,” She opened one eye to look at Arnold. He was still glaring at her as he listened. “We were grateful that the wolves wanted to be allies. We wanted to thank Urseth for his blessing.”
Breslin held her in place as two large werewolves tied Pierce to the tree. Her brother was beaten and bloody, yet his swollen eyes stayed on her face as the two lycanthropes secured him in place.
“This is what’s going to happen to your entire clan,” Breslin promised, caressing her cheek.
Natalie flinched
, pulling away from his touch as her tearful gaze remained on her brother. They couldn’t do this! They couldn’t hurt him. Urseth, she had to do something.
“Please let him go,” She pleaded. “You can do whatever you want to me but don’t hurt him. He has a mate. He has a child on the way…..you can’t do this to him.”
“I can do whatever I want,” Breslin chuckled. “You think I care about your pathetic coupling code? Children are just little animals we refuse to kill. We mold them in our image and send them out into a fucked up world to get tarnished by humanity, Honeycomb. I don’t care about the fetus he helped create.”
Natalie sobbed, struggling to get away from his grasp as she looked at her brother again.
“You don’t want him!” She shrieked. “Take me instead. Please.”
“Oh, I’m going to take you. Don’t worry about that,” Breslin smirked. “But I am truly intrigued with your sudden change of heart, Honeycomb. Aren’t you the little bear who hates what she is? Aren’t you the one who was just complaining to her friends earlier this evening about how much you loathe your part in all of this? What was it you said?” He tilted his head thoughtfully. “Oh yes, that’s it. ‘I hate this ursithrope bullshit. I wish I could be free to do as I please. I shouldn’t have to be another pawn in this ridiculous game.’ Isn’t that what you said?”
Natalie’s mouth fell open in surprise as she stared at him, her brows furrowing. “You eves dropped on my conversation?”
“Of course I did,” He smirked. “Of all the annoying things I’ve heard today, I found your words to be the most interesting. An ursithrope that hates being an ursithrope-you despise your creator for making you what you are.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Natalie sobbed, shaking her head furiously before she looked at her brother again. “Pierce, he’s twisting my words around. I swear I don’t hate being an ursithrope.”
Pierce licked his lips, gazing at her with sadness in his eyes. The wound on his temple glistened with blood as he shook his head.
“Don’t let him get into your head like that, Natty,” He whispered. “You know who you truly are.”
Breslin scoffed. “Oh, please. Listen to you two. You’re ridiculous,” He cackled, pulling Natalie around to face him. “You hate being one of them. It’s okay to admit that, Honeycomb. You’re sad because the one you chose did not want you in return. A classic case of unrequited love….tsk tsk.”
Natalie closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek. It was true. The one she chose to be with for the rest of her life did not feel the same way. He had chosen a human.
“Aw, don’t cry,” Breslin mused, reaching his hand up to wipe away her tears. “You are far too beautiful to be crying, Honeycomb. Even if he doesn’t want you, I do.”
Natalie jerked away from him again, staring at him in disgust. “Stay away from me!” She growled. “Don’t touch me.”
“Leave her alone!” Pierce roared, only to cry out in pain a few seconds later as one of the wolves dug its claws into his side.
“No! Stop hurting him!” She shrieked. “Please. Please, don’t hurt him anymore.”
“I may take that into consideration,” Breslin hummed, stepping closer to her as his lips parted in a malicious smile. “But only if you will do something for me.”
“Anything,” She whimpered. “Just let him go.”
“Good girl,” Breslin murmured, pulling her hair away from her face. “We’re going to have a lot of fun together, you and I,” He promised, dipping his head down until he could kiss her forehead. “You better not disappoint me.”
Natalie gasped, pulling herself out of the memory as her knees gave out on her. She collapsed to the floor and sobbed as the tears flooded down her cheeks. She hated reliving that night. She hated listening to her brother’s screams of agony as the fire engulfed his body. She could still smell the stench of his burning flesh…..
“So that’s why you did it,” Arnold asked in a disdainful tone. “You were mad at me for choosing to marry Meredith over you?! Presley lost her father because of that?”
“No!” Natalie bawled, shaking her head furiously. “He lied to me! He said he would let him go if I went with him. I was a stupid girl, Arnold. I didn’t know any better. I was hurt and scared. I was trying to do the right thing.”
“And you thought doing the right thing involved letting your brother be burned alive?”
Natalie buried her face into her hands again, allowing the guilt and shame to drown her aching soul as Arnold lashed out at her. She deserved it. She deserved all of it. She had been so stupid for being hurt over his rejection, but she’d been so confident that they would get married and start their own family. He’d broken her heart. Breslin used it against her, and truly, in her heart of hearts she thought the wolf would release her brother if she complied.
“I didn’t mean for Pierce to get hurt,” She said, her voice muffled from behind her hands. “Breslin promised to let him go if I agreed to do what he wanted. I thought Pierce would be safe…..”
“Well, we both see how that worked out, don’t we?” Arnold grumbled. “You willingly went with that werewolf and Pierce’s blood is on your hands. If Presley ever found out-”
“Please don’t tell her!” Natalie sobbed. “Please, Arnold…..don’t tell her about that night. I couldn’t bear it.”
“I think she has a right to know,” Arnold glared down at her. “You betrayed us, Natalie. It wasn’t the other way around. You went off with that bastard. You kept Presley drugged along with Dimitri and Lorcan. Greg is dead because you failed to save him. Any true ursithrope would’ve given their life to protect that kid. You disgust me.”
The tears fell harder as her chest throbbed. She was going to have a heart attack-she just knew it. She couldn’t take this.
“I told you things are going to change around here,” He growled, crouching in front of her. “Presley’s bringing a cub into this world and I don’t want the likes of you around it. Do you understand me? I want you gone. I want you out of our lives for good. Leave Kadenburg and don’t ever think about coming back.”
Natalie opened her mouth to say something, anything, but only an inaudible whine escaped her as the hopes and dreams of being in her niece’s life shattered before her very eyes. Arnold wasn’t going to allow that, just like he’d ripped her dreams away of becoming his wife one day. How had she ever loved him?
“Go,” He growled, standing up and staring down at her. “…..before I decide to kill you myself.”
––––––––
Again, Mrs. Bamey found herself surrounded by chaos as she heard the devastating wails sounding from down the hallway. She immediately exited her bedroom, leaving her husband snoring softly in bed as her wide eyes searched for the source of the crying. It didn’t take her long to find Natalie in the bathroom, clinging to the sink as her salty tears splashed against the countertop like angry raindrops.
“My heavens, what’s wrong?” Mrs. Bamey asked in a loud whisper, quickly shutting the door behind herself. “Natalie, what’s happened?”
The distraught brunette lifted her bloodshot gaze to Mrs. Bamey, sniffling as she wiped at her cheeks.
“I-I have to go,” She struggled to say between her sobs. “I can’t stay h-here.”
“Why not?” Mrs. Bamey frowned, placing her hands on her hips. “You just got back, Natty. You can’t leave! Presley will be so heartbroken….”
“That’s why I have to go,” She sniveled, reaching for a tissue. “I’m so toxic, Charlotte. I’ll only taint her. I can’t stay here. I can’t be around that baby when it’s born. Arnold is right.”
“Arnold?” Mrs. Bamey echoed. “What does Arnold have to do with this? What did he say to you?”
Natalie shook her head quickly. “No, please. It’s okay. He was right. He’s always been right. I was so stupid for coming back here, Charlotte. I should’ve just left. I’m not worthy to be in her life. I don’t deserve to be here.”
&
nbsp; “The hell you don’t!” Mrs. Bamey gasped. “Don’t you dare say such things, Natalie Carroll. I don’t care what you’ve done in the past. She is your niece just as much as his and she wants you to be here. Don’t you see that?”
Natalie’s lower lip quivered as her shoulders slumped and she bowed her head. “I have done horrible things,” She whispered. “Horribly terrible, unspeakable things, Charlotte, and I don’t deserve the kindness you’ve shown me.”
“You are an ursithrope,” Mrs. Bamey replied, resting her hands against Natalie’s shoulders. “We were best friends when we were younger. I don’t care what you have done. You are one of us and we never turn our backs on one another.”
Natalie peered up at her, blinking back fresh tears. “But I turned my back on you so long ago….I don’t understand how you can even consider forgiving me.”
Mrs. Bamey frowned as tears glistened in her eyes. “Oh, Natty. Friends forgive one another and I forgave you a long time ago. I know the toll Arnold’s rejection took on you back then…..and no, I don’t know why you’ve done some of the things you’ve done, but I have always had hope that you would come back to us in the end. All I ever wanted was for you and Caroline to find a way back to Kadenburg so we could start the healing process.”
“Caroline,” Natalie whispered, a pained expression taking over her face as she eased down onto the side of the tub. “Poor Caroline.”
Mrs. Bamey bit her lip, hugging her arms around herself as she studied the other female. “You know what happened to her, don’t you?”
Slowly nodding her head, Natalie lifted her pale eyes to gaze at Charlotte as a shaky breath escaped her trembling lips.
“It’s quite complicated,” She murmured.
“As is most of life,” Mrs. Bamey responded thoughtfully. “Are you going to tell me or will you leave me guessing?”
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