In the end, it had not been her voice of reason that had won out. That much was clear by her presence on this train and in a place that looked as foreign to her as another planet might. And as it turned out, she did not need to think on matters and people nearly so deeply as she had expected to and so when she awoke, not realizing she had fallen asleep in the first place, she was pulling into her destination.
“So much brown,” she said to herself in one long exhale, not caring if the passengers around her heard her or not. There was so much space in this new place! She was used to buildings crammed one after the other so that they were practically on top of each other and the people were practically on top of each other as well. She could already see as she struggled off of the train car and out into a sunny midmorning that she had not packed appropriately for the lifestyle this land would necessitate. When she looked up into the sky, it was so vast, so clear, that she felt as if it could easily swallow her up. She stood that way, in absolute awe, and probably would have done so until the day turned into night had she not heard someone calling out to her. At least she thought it was to her, and so she snapped back to what constituted as her new reality and squinted in the shockingly bright sun.
“Miss? You’re looking a little bit lost right now. Could it be that you’re looking for some place?”
“It might be” she said uncertainly, not sure as to whether this person was someone she should be talking to or not. That was the problem with a move like this. She didn’t know anything of her surroundings, and that included the people.
“Could it be that you’re looking for passage to the Ryan Ranch? Because if that’s the case then I’m the one you want to see.”
“Oh! Oh my, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. Are you Mr. Ryan? Mr. William Ryan?”
“Lord, no! No, I’m not the boss. I’m just one of the hired hands, sent to bring you home. You don’t mind it, do you? I know I’m not the kind of welcome wagon a proper little lady like yourself would choose to be greeted by, but this is about as fancy as I get.”
“Please,” she said warmly, nodding gratefully as the now blushing man hurried to move her things into the back of his wagon before getting back in and offering her a hand up. “Don’t you worry a thing about that. I was a school teacher before I came here. I’ve had all sorts of welcomes to places and not many of them were fancy. I prefer interesting. And kind, which you seem to be. So let’s not have another word about it, shall we?”
He nodded, his whole face still a deep, flushed red, and started the horses moving. Caroline had to grip the side of the wagon so as to avoid being thrown backwards, but she wasn’t bothered by that, either. She was afraid, that much was true, but she was also so incredibly excited. There was only a little part of her that wondered why in the world a man who was supposed to marry her would send his ranch hand to pick her up instead of coming himself. Just what exactly had she gotten herself into here?
*
“Lovely! Simply lovely!”
Caroline had spent the entire, not inconsiderable, ride to the ranch preparing herself to come up with impromptu compliments about the Ryan Ranch regardless of what she actually thought. Not that she was a liar, not at all, but she knew that it was important to make a good impression and it seemed like doing so with the home she was to call her own was of particular importance. All of that time worrying about what she would say and one look at the sprawling property showed her that she needn’t have worried at all. It really was the loveliest place she had ever seen, at least from the outside. The large home was built entirely out of wood that had been whitewashed and was peppered with a healthy helping of windows. There were flowers planted under many of those windows and cats roaming in many of those flower beds. It looked like a place that was entirely alive and it made Caroline’s blood sing with excitement and expectation. She took a deep, satisfied breath and it was the cleanest air she had ever breathed. She shut her eyes and turned her face up to the sun, trying desperately to soak in the promises this place could hold for her. True, she hadn’t yet met the man who was to be her husband and she had all sorts of nerves over what he would think of her and whether or not they would be properly suited to one another, but she could still feel the depth of possibility and it was truly invigorating. All of that already coursing through her veins, and then she heard the laughter of several children. It sounded like it was moving towards her rapidly and she wondered whether the pressure of her move had gotten to her nerves. Or perhaps she was still asleep and this entire experience was a dream. Perhaps she was still on the train and she hadn't yet seen the Ryan Ranch at all. But then she felt tiny little arms wrapping themselves around her knees and then a slight push as another small body collided with the first. From the sound and feel of it, there were three children now crowding around her thick skirts and it was with the knowledge that this had to be too good to be true that she opened her eyes, wanting to see and not to see all at the same time.
“Come on now, children, let’s not crowd her before she’s even had a chance to get a feel for the place. We don’t want her to turn around and catch the first train out of here, now do we? And besides, didn’t Mr. Ryan say for you three to stay inside? I don’t think he’d be too pleased to have had you disobey him this way. That’s no kind of first impression to give the lady.”
“But Bo, we want to meet the lady too! She’s to be our new mother, right? So then we should get to meet her! She’s the most important for us to meet.”
“Woah there, Celia, let’s take it one step at a time. Run along inside and watch after your brothers.”
Celia, who looked like she was probably nine or ten years old, looked for a moment like she was going to argue her point further, but after glancing at Caroline she seemed to think better of it. She took the two little blonde boys, twins who Caroline would have guessed were around the age of five, by the hands and began to lead them back towards the house. Caroline wanted to cry out for them to stop, for them to stay so that they could get to know each other a little better. There might have been women who were frightened off by seeing three children and learning with so little preparation that they were to play mother to them, but Caroline could not have been happier. It was everything she had dreamed of. It was proof, she told herself, proof that this had indeed been the correct decision. She hardly knew this place at all but she could already feel it taking root in her heart.
Chapter 4
“Where did you get hair like that, miss?”
“Well, I was born with it.”
Born with hair of fire! What luck! I wish my hair was exactly like yours. Don’t you wish it was so, Tommy? Don’t you?”
“No,” one of the little blonde boys who apparently went by the name of Tommy said matter-of-factly. “I like my hair just the way it is. And fire hair would hurt, right? Does it hurt your head? I don’t want my head hurted.”
“Me too,” Tommy’s tiny twin, Trevor, chimed in. “I don’t want my head hurted too.”
“You don’t want your head hurt, either,” Caroline corrected in a soft voice and with a gentle smile.
“I know.”
Tommy looked at his brother and sister with a mixture of bewilderment and amusement, which drove Caroline to peals of laughter. She couldn’t help it. She found the three to be perfectly delightful and she could not have been more thankful to have them there in the vast sitting room with her. Her love of children had in no way been diminished by her jilting, and the idea of not having them around her had weighed heavy on her heart. She had known that there would be children there in her future in one capacity or another, or the stipulation in William’s advertisement that his bride must be willing to care for children would have made very little sense. She hadn’t realized that she would be playing instant mother to three children, however, and although there were many who would find such a task daunting, she was entirely thrilled. The only thing that she was still unsure of at the moment was the man she was supposed to be marrying.
William Ryan was proving to be an elusive figure indeed. Caroline had already been at the Ryan Ranch for several hours now and she had seen nothing of him. She knew that he must be exceedingly busy, of course, it would have been impossible to maintain a place as lovely as this Ryan Ranch without it consuming a substantial amount of time. That being said, she couldn’t help but wonder if him not stopping to meet her could be construed as a bad sign. Perhaps she was particularly sensitive about that sort of thing coming off of her recent experience with Jeremiah, or perhaps it was simply due to her lack of experience with the rougher sex in general, but whatever the reason her doubt left her feeling slightly breathless. She told herself over and over again not to be so silly but she was still a complete bundle of nerves by the time she heard a pair of thick, loud boots striding across the wooden floor of the entrance to the house. She knew it was him. She couldn’t have said how; there were many men on the ranch working in various capacities but somehow she just knew that this man was William Ryan. Her future husband, barring some unforeseen tragedy (six months ago she would have laughed off even the idea of such fatalistic thinking but her thoughts had been inexorably altered on matters of men and women).
“Children! Where’d you get yourselves off to? Did I not say something about helping to make the gardens out front look all nice and tidy? I see your little gardening tools but no little bodies to use them. Are we playing a game? The thing about games is that they’re difficult if all of the participants don’t know it’s happening.”
“No!” Celia squealed excitedly, jumping up and down while Tommy and Trevor giggled and grinned. “Not hiding and not playing a game. We’re in the kitchen. We’re talking to our new mommy!”
Caroline heard the footsteps stop abruptly and she herself took in a sharp breath. From the sound of it, those steps had come to a stop at the kitchen doorway which meant he was standing directly behind her. The looks on the children’s faces confirmed it, their unchecked joy, and ridiculously Caroline wondered if she could just pretend he wasn’t there so that she didn’t have to turn around. She was just so terribly nervous! She had already been nervous about meeting him and now Celia had just called her their new mother, shouted it out so that it seemed to be ringing down the hallways and echoing again and again. What would he make of that? Would he think she had asked the children to call her that? Just the idea of it left her feeling utterly mortified and she could feel her face growing hot with an unwanted and uncontrollable blush. This was not the way she had wanted to meet him for the first time. Not even close.
“Your face is as red as your hair now, Caroline! How’d you do that?”
“Alright, Celia,” the strong, deep voice from behind her spoke. “That’s enough, now. We don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.”
Too late, she thought to herself, but she was glad of his assistance. She had no idea how to navigate this situation. She hadn’t ever gotten that far in her daydreams of her traveling west. But she couldn’t just sit like a statue for the rest of her life, nor could she live in this house without even speaking to the man she was to marry, and so she rose and turned to face him.
“Hello, I apologize.”
“Apologize for what?”
He asked his question in such a matter-of-fact way that it was almost abrasive. He didn’t look angry, but that tone was enough to make Caroline feel as if she had been rebuked. She had no idea what to make of him. She couldn’t recall ever having been spoken to quite that way before. It was as if he had no emotion invested in the conversation one way or another, which struck her as odd because they were to be wed. She was also taken aback by the look of him. She had never seen a man like this before. He was tall, much taller than she, with thick hair so dark it was almost black. Piercing blue eyes the color of deep pools peered out at her with a clear intelligence and a closed-off quality that made them virtually impossible to read. He had a rather thick beard growing as well, which made him appear extra mysterious to Caroline. She wasn’t accustomed to men with beards like that. Jeremiah had been as smoothly shaven as a newborn baby. She felt her heartbeat increasing by the second and all hopes of the flush in her face fading. She had never reacted to the look of a man this way before and it took her a moment to realize what it was that was taking hold of her so. Finally she realized that she was attracted to this strange man. She was attracted to him in a way she had never been to Jeremiah. She was also completely uncertain of herself with him. She was a beautiful girl who had never struggled to get the attention and admiration of the opposite sex. She wasn’t arrogant about it, it was just something she had become accustomed to and getting such an unreadable reaction from William Ryan was making her feel entirely unsure.
“I-- well, I don’t know. For being in here without permission, I suppose. The children wanted to give me a tour of the house, and I must admit I was awfully tempted to see it. This was our last stop and we seem to have just settled in.”
“That’s fine. It’s to be your home too, after all. You might as well become accustomed to it. Did they show you which room is to be yours?”
She glanced at the children, the little trio she was feeling more a part of at the moment than she did to feeling like an adult, and they all three shook their heads no. Apparently they hadn’t considered that room to be interesting or important enough to show her. So like children, Caroline thought with a little internal smile, to make a judgement call like that.
“Very well,” William said with a terse nod. “I’ll take you there now. One of my men should have already delivered your things, so you needn’t worry about that.”
With a look that told the children that they would do best to go out and work in the garden the way they had been told to initially, William strode from the doorway. He must have been just expecting Caroline to follow because he didn’t say another word to her. She hurried after him, giving the children a little wink and a smile as she went, and then moving as quickly as was dignified down the long hallway William had started down. He walked impossibly quickly and by the time she caught up to him he had already opened a door and stepped inside of a pretty little room. She stepped inside as well, feeling her flush return at the notion of the two of them alone in a room with a bed. If he saw her discomfort, however, he paid it no mind. She couldn’t tell if it was because it didn’t strike him as intimate or if it was because he was good at hiding his reactions to things. She couldn’t tell because she didn’t know him at all.
“Will this do? I thought it best to have us in separate rooms until we are actually wed. You understand, propriety and all.”
“Yes, of course,” she said just a little bit too quickly. “That makes perfect sense.”
“Alright, well if that’s all, I’ll leave you now. The bell out front rings when it’s supper time.”
He nodded another one of those terse nods and left the room without further comment. She could do nothing but stand there, feeling more confused and shell shocked than she had been before ever meeting William Ryan.
Chapter 5
It was astonishing, how difficult it was to get to know a man who didn’t want to be known. Caroline found herself constantly wondering what William’s reaction to her and the children might be. She had been at the Ryan Ranch for a little over two months, and she still felt no closer to understanding or knowing the man she was supposed to marry at all. It was to the point where she had started to wonder if they actually would marry, or if they would just continue on in the same strange pattern they had established.
The oddest thing, at least in Caroline’s opinion, was that the two of them had yet to discuss the three children she was to be mother to. She had tried, only once, to ask him of their origin, and that had been such a disaster of a conversation that thinking of it now, weeks after it had taken place, still made her shudder. The timing had been atrocious as well. She had brought the topic up when she felt as if the two of them were finally starting to get closer to each other, once she started to feel l
ike his walls might be coming down ever so slightly. She had managed to undo that quickly enough.
He had been in the kitchen, preparing himself something small for breakfast. The ranch had a cook, and an excellent one as far as Caroline was concerned, but William seemed to prefer to fix his own food. He was very independent, sometimes independent to a fault from what Caroline could tell. She had joined him in the kitchen, feeling that same jolt of electricity she had experienced the first time she had seen him and then every time after that. She sat quietly at the table, not wanting to disturb him, and just as quietly he finished preparing his eggs and toast, served the food out onto two plates, and set one in front of her as he sat beside her and started to eat. She was surprisingly touched by the gesture and felt her eyes go hot with tears she absolutely refused to shed. There was something so sweet about it, the idea of him cooking for her, and it was simple gestures like that that she downright craved. Those were the things that showed that he might care for her in some way, after all, which was something she rarely saw from him. She had heard whisperings before of loveless marriages, marriages where the women vied constantly for the attention of men who could not have cared about them less. While she understood that it was something that worked for some women, women who needed things other than love, she did not believe it would work for her. Of course she wanted security and all of those practical things in life, but she also wanted love. She could not imagine where she would be required to live without it. And the truly strange thing was that she had developed feelings for him over the weeks, despite his distant nature and frequent visits away from the ranch and her and the children. There was a certain kind of strength about him that she found intoxicating and a tenderness he displayed with the children that she did not see in him for anything else. There was a depth there that she could not seem to access, which only made it all the more intoxicating. Yes, she felt for this man and she wanted desperately for him to feel for her as well. Perhaps this breakfast was the first real sign that he did.
Romance: Western Mail Order Bride Bethany's Love -Clean Christian Historical Romance (Western Mail Order Bride Short Shorties Series) Page 146
