by r. h. Sin
I love the freedom of being a writer. I love the fact that I can manifest ideas, quotes, poetry, and prose. There are so many words in my heart and soul and mind, and I love getting it all out and sharing it with you.
It’s not really about how painful something is. What truly breaks you down is how long that pain resides within your heart. The size of it isn’t the issue. It’s the length in which it lives inside of you.
Making plans has always been a part of living, and so it’s hard to feel alive knowing that tomorrow is filled with so much uncertainty.
You’re hurting, but you still manage to manifest strength.
When it all gets stripped away, only then do you realize what truly mattered. Only then do you understand the value in everything you once took for granted.
Being alone is necessary. Being on your own gives you an opportunity to figure who to add to your life.
Walk far enough so that when you look back on everything you left behind, you’ll see just how small everything was.
I can’t promise you that it’ll get better tomorrow, but the longer you survive, the further you are from the moments that tested the strength of your heart.
I was sitting near the window of our home, watching the rain fall to the surface below. The streets have been empty, the sidewalks are bare, and I can’t help but think that the rain misses the opportunity to touch a warm body.
The city that never sleeps is weary—silenced by an invisible force. Eager to wake up from this nightmare.
a shooting star
is a motion of death
i’d rather dream
upon the moon
Sometimes being in a relationship is lonelier than being alone.
You ever felt alone in your relationship? You scream behind silent lips, forcing yourself to smile while crying deep within.
Last night was hard, today is also difficult, but you will get through this. You always do.
There is chaos in this world; so much has gone on. And sometimes it feels like everything is falling apart. But if you’re reading this right now, it just means you are surviving, and your survival is beautiful. This moment is poetry.
I’ve lost all feeling for you, and I no longer dance to your beautiful melodic lies. I am no longer moved by you. And maybe there will come a time when I miss the idea of you, only to realize who you were and what I believed were two entirely different things. I think the further you walk from the people in your past, the perception of what you thought you had or who you thought they were changes. There’s a haze that exists for those of you who are too close to someone who hurts your heart, and the only way to clear the air is to move on without that person. The reward in letting go is that you then discover that your heart was meant for so much more. And I’m so glad I figured this out.
It started raining; that’s when I knew the sky could cry like us.
Despite the scars, you’re gorgeous.
Survival looks good on you.
You don’t belong in a relationship that feels like hell, and one day you will carry yourself away, far away from a place that no longer deserves your presence.
I think we’re all just trying to get better at leaving the wrong things behind.
When it’s over, I hope you come to the realization that the people who leave are sometimes valuable enough to be considered a loss.
Sit still when it rains; you can even dance in it if you’d like. Just promise yourself to never run from it.
For some of you reading this right now, you have found yourself in a position of doing too much for someone who will never do enough to deserve you. And I hope that the words you read here will somehow force you toward the realization that it is time to move on.
No one can break your heart without your consent. And you will never heal holding on to what hurt you. Give yourself permission to deny them access to your heart.
The moon knows all the things I’ve hidden during the day.
Look inward. This is the way to your salvation.
It’s just the end of this particular chapter. There’s still a lot of story left.
Sometimes “I’m fine” means “help me.”
She grew tired of the sun and blossomed beneath the moon.
Midnight is beautiful for those who have learned to navigate through the darkness of night.
These are just the ramblings and ideas of a person who is sheltering in place, isolated in a space occupied by a loving wife and a child who has no idea of what is happening around him because he’s too young to understand or speak the language. I have spent days keeping our son smiling and calming whatever fears my wife may have. And on most nights, I feel overwhelmed, weary from withstanding an enormous storm in the year 2020.
When life resumes, I hope you rediscover the gift that is inhaling the air blowing through the trees and the heat of the sun tap-dancing on your skin. When the evening arrives to take over all space previously occupied by sunlight, I hope you stare into the moon and appreciate all the beauty that resides in the night sky. I hope your midnights are filled with peace and beautiful dreams of all the amazing things you will go on to do whenever the whispers of the morning awaken your eyes. May you find the strength to continue writing the story that is your life.
Thank you for taking a break from the storm to read these words. Stay healthy.
Index
#
2020 was a year that began on the shoulders of giants—so many wishes tossed into the night sky before the clock struck midnight, leading us into a year filled with so much promise.
A
After this is over, and when the heartache of it all ends, love those who love you.
a part of me
are the cherry blossoms beautiful
a shooting star
B
Being alone is necessary.
C
Celebrate the ending.
Choosing yourself when others overlook you is how you will heal.
D
Decide to always commit to things that fuel your desire to be cherished.
Despite the scars, you carry your body from day to day, and I think that’s beautiful.
Despite the scars, you’re gorgeous.
Do not surrender to the storm; do not run from its rain.
F
Forgiveness is a gift to self.
For some of you reading this right now, you have found yourself in a position of doing too much for someone who will never do enough to deserve you.
H
Heartbreak isn’t the final destination.
How many moons must you wait on for your luck to change?
How often it is that we lose sleep over someone who spends their nights thinking about someone else.
I
i am not waiting
I can’t promise you that it’ll get better tomorrow, but the longer you survive, the further you are from the moments that tested the strength of your heart.
If the right people are letting go of the wrong people, the right love has a chance to happen.
If you’re reading this now, I hope you remember that each time you’ve faced any obstacle, you have always found a way to survive, to get through it.
I grew when you didn’t expect me to grow.
I hear you screaming behind those silent eyes.
I hope you stop falling in love with people who make you regret it.
I know you’re weary, but keep going.
I like the rain.
I love the freedom of being a writer.
In the darkest of hours, you’ll learn how to use your candle to light up the whole sky.
I spend most of my days searching for art in all tragedies and w
aiting for roses to grow when the storm ends.
It feels like the ground beneath us is falling toward the sky.
I think she’s just tired from going to war for a relationship that isn’t representative of everything she deserves.
I think we’re all just trying to get better at leaving the wrong things behind.
I think you’ll emerge a different person after all of this.
I think you’re struggling to let go because you genuinely care about this person.
It is never too late to fall head over heels in love with yourself.
It may feel like midnight all the time, but your eyes are getting used to the darkness, and you are closer to being able to find your way out.
It’s a crazy time we’re living in.
It’s just hard to be overlooked by the only one you have eyes for.
It’s just the end of this particular chapter.
It’s not really about how painful something is.
It’s okay to grow and evolve by yourself for yourself.
It started raining; that’s when I knew the sky could cry like us.
I’ve lost all feeling for you, and I no longer dance to your beautiful melodic lies.
I was never afraid of love itself.
I was sitting near the window of our home, watching the rain fall to the surface below.
L
Last night was hard, today is also difficult, but you will get through this.
Let the challenges change you.
Look inward.
M
Making plans has always been a part of living, and so it’s hard to feel alive knowing that tomorrow is filled with so much uncertainty.
May you live more of your life in spaces that bring you peace and make you smile.
Midnight is beautiful for those who have learned to navigate through the darkness of night.
N
No matter how difficult it may be, you must always find a way to start over when it ends.
No one can break your heart without your consent.
O
Oh how the moon loves to keep its eye open to witness you overcome those lonely midnights.
P
Perhaps from all of this you will see the value in appreciating the people who still stand beside you amid the storm, showing their support from a healthy social distance.
preserve your heart
S
She grew tired of the sun and blossomed beneath the moon.
She just wants to know that you will always be willing to tell her the truth.
Sit still when it rains; you can even dance in it if you’d like.
so many plans made unrealistic
Some of you never knew how alone you were until you went into self-quarantine with the person you thought you loved.
Sometimes being in a relationship is lonelier than being alone.
Sometimes “I’m fine” means “help me.”
Somewhere someone is reading this with confusion in their mind and hurt in their heart.
Staying apart is keeping us alive; and from a distance, we meet beneath the same moon, wishing for the same things.
Survival looks good on you.
Survive the madness, and peace will be yours to claim.
T
Thank you for taking a break from the storm to read these words.
The city that never sleeps is weary—silenced by an invisible force.
The heart breaks down, at times in pieces; but once put back together, somehow it is stronger than it was before.
The moon knows all the things I’ve hidden during the day.
The reason this hurts so much is that you didn’t see it coming.
There is chaos in this world; so much has gone on.
These are just the ramblings and ideas of a person who is sheltering in place, isolated in a space occupied by a loving wife and a child who has no idea of what is happening around him because he’s too young to understand or speak the language.
The sooner you leave him, the faster you can heal.
The sound of people living is what I miss most about New York City, as silence has replaced those beautiful voices.
The stars are no match for the heart that hurts but fights to survive.
The sun is never wasted on her skin.
the world is upside down
The world may be on fire, but you know how to overcome the flames.
This was a different type of fire.
This whole situation has also proven that you can survive the absence of your ex and or anyone you struggle to let go of.
this year began
To find myself, I traveled through chaos to rediscover the peace that has always lived within me.
W
Walk far enough so that when you look back on everything you left behind, you’ll see just how small everything was.
we endure storms
We’re all struggling with the loneliness that dwells within our hearts, and so maybe none of us are actually alone, as we face this together.
When it all gets stripped away, only then do you realize what truly mattered.
When it’s over, I hope you come to the realization that the people who leave are sometimes valuable enough to be considered a loss.
When life resumes, I hope you rediscover the gift that is inhaling the air blowing through the trees and the heat of the sun tap-dancing on your skin.
Whoever you choose, decide on someone who supports your desire for self-care and self-love.
Y
You are a garden.
you are a wildfire
You are learning not to build dreams on a relationship that feels like a nightmare.
You can’t fill a woman with lies and expect her to act as if she is full of love for you.
you created a hole in my heart
You don’t belong in a relationship that feels like hell, and one day you will carry yourself away, far away from a place that no longer deserves your presence.
You ever felt alone in your relationship?
You’re dancing through a dark, rainy night, and the moon is your witness.
You’re holding your phone, reading this now, fighting that desire to take him back.
You’re hurting, but you still manage to manifest strength.
Your heart is a bit heavier in the here and now.
You scream your truths in solitude and write down how you feel in invisible ink.
You still care, you didn’t fall out of love, and a part of you will miss that person for a bit, but you want to heal, you need to recover, and letting go is how you get there.
You still have a lot of time to leave him and find more of yourself.
You’ve been struggling with all of it for a while now.
You were whole before they walked into your life.
You will never be enough for someone who was never enough for you.
COMING SEPTEMBER 2020
