by Jane Charles
“I had hopes for you and Miss Westin in London. She deserves better, but I thought she would be the best person for you.”
In that Lady Acker was correct.
“You need someone like Eleanor in your life.”
Not only needed, but wanted. Eleanor had the ability to make him forget his troubles and concern. She made him long for lust and passion within a marriage. He wanted to be free of the chains that bound him to propriety and caused him to judge others by standards far too high for anyone to meet. He wanted her so he could bury any remnants of his father that remained in his life for good. He wanted to feel like he did when Adele was with them. He wanted his children to know that carefree happiness. He wanted someone to take care of. He wanted a purpose other than running his estates and making more money than a person could spend. And, the only person who could make that happen was Eleanor. No other woman ever came close.
“I know.”
Surprise lit on Acker’s face.
Lady Acker planted a fist on the arm of the chair. “Well, what do you intend to do about it?”
“Marry her, if I can ever manage to get her to speak to me again.”
“Was your argument so bad yesterday?” Acker prodded.
Clay grimaced. If only his friend knew, and thank goodness he didn’t. “It was bad enough. And as usual, I was the one in the wrong.”
“I ask again, what do you plan to do about it?” Lady Acker demanded.
“I am really not sure.” He stood and began to pace. “I will give her a day or two and maybe then she will relent and see me.”
“Just don’t take too long.” She wagged a finger at him.
Clay chuckled. “I won’t. But I want to take care of a few matters first. I don’t want her marrying me because it will solve her family’s financial difficulties. I need to figure out how to convince her to marry me because she wants to.”
Both Acker and his mother nodded.
“I will take my leave of you. I am going to be gone for a few days, until the party is over, and when I return, I hope Miss Westin will grant me an audience.” Clay turned toward the door.
Just as his hand touched the doorknob Lady Acker spoke.
“One more thing, Bentley.”
He turned to look at her.
“Adele and Julia didn’t die that night.”
He closed his eyes and leaned back against the door. His biggest fear was the world finding out the truth. “I know. I recently learned of that myself.”
Her eyebrows arched.
“Do you know where they might be?”
She shook her head. “I only received one letter from her, months later. She and Julia were in Paris and didn’t expect to ever return to England. It was her goodbye to me.”
Clay sighed. “Father lost track of them when Julia turned ten and eight.” He strode back over. “Please, do not say a word of this to anyone.”
Lady Acker smirked. “If I was going to say anything I would have by now. Besides, the damage this could do to your step-mother and Madeline would be horrendous. It is best if some matters remained buried in the past.”
Relief shot through him. “Thank you, Lady Acker.”
“Thank me by winning Miss Westin.”
For the first time that day Clay felt like laughing and hope surged. If Lady Acker and her son were supportive, surely he could win Eleanor. He just had to convince her to accept him, somehow.
Chapter 18
Elle had never been not at home to anyone before in her life, but for the past five days those were the words she asked Leigh to say to Lord Bentley. She couldn’t face him, especially not knowing why he wished to see her.
She inched the curtain back from her front bedchamber window and watched as he mounted his horse. Somehow he must have sensed her presence because he straightened and then looked straight up at her. Their eyes met and for a moment she wanted to open the window and yell down to him to wait. But she was afraid. What if their meeting was a cold business arrangement to continue what she had started? She couldn’t endure going to his bed again and being left cold when he had seen to his need. Until that moment, their joining had been the most incredible moment of her life. Elle never dreamed that making love could be so fulfilling, or that a woman could experience such powerful magnificent explosions in her body. She wasn’t even sure what they were called and feared she would never experience such again. But even if she was tempted, she couldn’t risk her heart only to have it trampled on and discarded the moment he was done. That had cut her to the quick. How did mistresses endure being treated in such a way night after night? Were their hearts made of steel?
Elle knew she should close the curtain and turn her back on him, but her body had a will of its own and her eyes remained locked on him.
A slow, sensual smile came to Clay’s face, as if he knew she had been thinking about their joining. He raised his fingers to her lips and blew her a kiss before he bowed his head and rode away. Goodness. What had he meant by that action? Did he wish to continue their affair?
Her body hummed and came alive with the thought of being with him again, until the reminder of the rejection to come cooled her.
It was a chance to raise funds for her family, but at what cost to her soul? No, she had already lost too much to Lord Bentley, her heart included, and she wanted it back. Spending more time with him would make it impossible to ever regain what she’d foolishly given away.
With a huff she spun from the window and yanked the curtains closed. How could she possibly love that man? He was a horrible person to deliver the most delicious kisses. He was judgmental and arrogant, but truly cared about the poor and orphaned children in society. He was lofty and fit amongst his peers easily, yet he was a good friend to Drake, whom she adored and trusted above anyone else. Why was that man such a conundrum?
Despite all of the things she did not like about him, there was deep rooted goodness in Clayton. She glimpsed it too often and knew it flowed deep with him. It was probably the reason she fell in love with him. It made no sense that she would love a gentleman such as he, but she did. Her mother often told her that we don’t get to choose who we love, but our heart makes the choice for us, whether it is for the best or not. Her heart chose Bentley, but it would also be destroyed if she let him into her life. Though she should meet with him and find out why he was coming to call, she knew it would hurt too much if he wished continue their illicit association, nor did she want anything more permanent because he was honorable, if that was his intention. It was easier to not speak to or see him again. She simply needed to forget him and move on with her life. It was safer and today she would meet with Drake and settle the question of a loan. Then she would see to her family and pretend she never met Lord Bentley.
Someone knocked on the front door and Eleanor rushed back to the window, heart pounding. Had Clayton returned? Below was the familiar gig of Mr. Barnes. Her throat constricted. The month was not up. What was he doing here now? Were there further debts? She turned and raced toward the stairs, afraid of what she would learn next. Yet, it was better to know now so she would have an accurate amount to name when she and Drake met.
Leigh was opening the door when Elle reached the threshold. The man held papers in his hand. “I’ve come to deliver your deed.”
Elle gapped. “I beg your pardon?”
“It is all yours.” He grinned. “I didn’t think you could pay off the debt but it was taken care of this morning and for that I thank you.”
Had Drake looked into the matter already, without discussing it with her first?
“I knew if you asked your grandfather he would be of assistance.”
Elle blinked up at him. “Grandfather?”
The man shrugged. “I assumed it was your grandfather’s man of business. Came all the way from London and inquired about your debts and paid each one in full.”
“Debts?” Were there more than the mortgage that she didn’t know about?
Mr. Barnes di
smissed her with a wave of his hand. “There were a few that some of the merchants were going to forgive, knowing how difficult it is for you and the children.”
Elle grasped the stair railing.
“You seem surprised, Miss Westin? Is anything wrong?”
She couldn’t tell him she’d borrowed the money from Drake. That was to remain a secret. Though everyone in the town knew they were close friends, she didn’t want to start speculation on their relationship since he had apparently arranged to pay more than she realized. “I am just surprised he took care of the matter so quickly. I thought it would be another week or two.”
The man grinned. “Well, everything has been paid in full and you don’t have another worry, Miss Westin.”
He nodded and left her house. Elle sank down on the steps of the landing. She was out of debt, in truth this time. Well, except for what she owed Drake and that would bother her until it was paid in full. But at least she didn’t owe everyone else in town.
She needed to thank him and get a full accounting, but she couldn’t go there. Not with Bentley still visiting. Instead, she sent Ethan with a note asking Drake to call on her.
An hour later he stepped into her parlor and Elle ran and hugged him, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”
Drake pulled back, an amused expression on his face. “You are welcome, but to what do I owed this gratitude?”
“My debts. You paid all my debts, even the ones I was still unaware of.”
His brows creased. “I haven’t done any such thing.”
Elle pulled away. “But, I sent you a note and asked for a loan. I was going to visit when Bentley was gone, but he still hasn’t left.”
“I would have happily given you the loan, but I was waiting to discuss it with you, since I intended to make it a gift.”
Dread filled her belly. “You didn’t pay Mr. Barnes?”
“No.”
Elle sank onto the settee. “Then who did because I know it wasn’t my grandfather.”
Drake put his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels. “I take it you haven’t spoken with Bentley on any of the days he has come to call.”
A cold sweat broke out on her brow. “No. He was turned away each time.”
“Perhaps you may wish to send word to him.”
“Why?” She already knew the answer, but needed to be certain.
“I suspect he may have paid the debts, though I don’t know for certain.”
She couldn’t believe Bentley had paid everything? How did he even know about the mortgage? Had Drake told him?
She shook her head, it didn’t matter. What mattered now was what she needed to do. Of course he would expect her not to renege on their agreement. But she needed to know positively first. Though she couldn’t imagine who else would have paid them. If he had, now that he had paid her bills, she must become his mistress in truth. A thrill shot through her, knowing she would experience that all consuming passion again, but it was tampered down with dread of coupling with him for payment. He saw her nothing more than a whore and really, wasn’t that what she had become? “When you return home, could you ask him to call on me?”
“He left.”
Her head shot up. Bentley was in front of her house not an hour ago. Where could he have gone so quickly?
“He didn’t say but indicated he would return in a week or sooner.”
Should she try and find him?
No. It was better to wait, give herself time to harden her heart before they were intimate again. If Drake was right, she had a week to accomplish her goal.
“When he returns, let him know that I would like to speak with him.”
*
Clay glanced around the mill. In the short time that passed since he was last here improvements had already been made. The boys laughed and talked, yet they remained hard at work. Completely different from the scene he last walked in on last time. And why shouldn’t the lads be allowed to enjoy themselves? Just because they were working, didn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to talk, or sing. If only he had known what Thomason was about he would have let the man go months ago. But he hadn’t known. Just like there was much he didn’t know with regard to others in his life, such as his brother, John, and Eleanor. How many other people had he judged harshly, or simply accepted they were doing as he expected.
Clay pushed his fingers through his hair and left the mill before walking back toward the main house. He had Mrs. Nevil make up his room. He had only slept in it four times since he purchased the mill, but he would take up residence and live here for however long it took for Eleanor to speak with him again. Acker’s house would have been more convenient, but the man asked too many questions, and Clay couldn’t stay there indefinitely. Besides, there was work to be done at the mill so he would remain here and visit Eleanor until she spoke with him. It wasn’t much of a plan, but it would work.
As for his estate, he had a secretary and estate manager. They could take care of matters for a while, though he sent word where he could be reached in an emergency. Clay chuckled and grinned. His father probably just rolled over in his grave at the thought of someone else, not even a family member, being put in charge of the vast holdings. And since this was something his father never would have done, Clay was all the more happy with the decision. In fact, he planned on going out of his way to make the exact opposite decision of whatever he believed his father would decide. Only then he could become a better man. Hopefully one worthy of Eleanor.
No doubt his father had never found himself in this position. He would have continued to keep Eleanor, Elle, as a mistress given her actions before marriage. Clay vowed never to touch her again until she became his wife. Then he would spend every waking hour making up to her for all the wrongs he had delivered, and spend every night convincing her of his love.
He stopped just short of the door leading into the house. Love? Where had that word come from?
He sank onto one of the garden bench seats by the roses. Did he love Miss Westin? Eleanor?
He admired her, respected her, lusted after her, but love?
Could he live without her? Yes
Did he want to live without her? No
What of the children? Was he willing to take on her entire family to have her?
Yes.
Did he love her?
It was a distinct possibility.
He needed to be certain. Even though he told Acker he wouldn’t visit Eleanor for a week, he had still intended on riding there each day.
On second thought, perhaps he should wait after all. At least a day or two while he examined his feelings. How much more could his pride take? She had denied him access to her home several days in a row now. Maybe he would wait a day or two, let her think about him, or so he hoped she would, and visit her again later in the week. With any luck, she would grant him an audience. If not, perhaps he would simply not leave until she did.
Chapter 19
Lord Stanhope looked around Elle’s parlor and sniffed disdainfully. “I can’t believe you live in this manner,” he stated after taking a seat.
Elle clinched her hands tightly together on her lap. Why was he here, and what did he want? “We are happy here, Grandfather.”
“I am certain you are,” he acknowledged condescendingly. “That will all change soon enough.”
“How so?” Elle was afraid of what he had planned. She only had to do his bidding for one short month, until September fifteenth, when she reached her majority, and would finally be free of the man. Other than the one, short season, and purchasing all the trappings a lady needed to be presented, he had done nothing else for her or her family. It was a little too late to show an interest now.
“After your sudden departure from London a number of well-connected bachelors inquired about your disappearance.”
It had never occurred to Elle that gentlemen would note her absence.
“I had told them you had gone to the country to rest. That seemed to p
ut them off until your recent appearance at Acker’s party.”
“I only visited a few days. I find it difficult to imagine anyone would be so interested in me.” Where was this leading?
“Your appearance in public now makes it impossible for me to ignore the fact that I owe you a duty as the daughter of my youngest son, despite the woman he married.”
The disrespectful attitude toward her mother immediately put Elle on the defense. “Never fear, Grandfather, I give you permission to ignore the fact that I exist and will not bother you again.”
“If only it were that simple.” He sighed. “Now society knows who you are and thus I must do my duty as expected.”
“You owe me nothing.” Elle assured him.
He ignored her. “I’ve received no less than four offers for your hand. Had you not been so foolish as to deny Bentley this would all be unnecessary.”
Who wanted to marry her? Of course it didn’t matter, she was simply curious. She couldn’t recall spending much time with any one gentleman, except Bentley of course. None of the guests at Acker’s seemed to indicate they were interested in a courtship with her, so who were these four gentlemen. “I have no wish to marry. My family must come first.”
This brought a scowl to Lord Stanhope’s face. “I am family as well and must see to your best interests. I am still your guardian.”
“Perhaps if you had been a little more helpful when I was struggling I would consider your help.”
“Don’t be insolent girl,” he barked and slapped the arm of the chair and Elle jumped. “Do you think I want society reminded of my son’s poor marriage? Besides, your mother remarried and her other brats are none of my concern.”
Anger shot through her and Elle stood. “Those brats are my sister and brothers, Sir.”
Lord Stanhope cleared his throat and softened his features. “I apologize, Eleanor. It has been a long trip. Let me simply tell you my plans.”
With reluctance Elle returned to her seat. She would be a fool to throw him out if there was a way he could help. Additional funds would be welcomed because then she could see to the roof, and repaint the house. So many things she wanted to do to make this place more habitable, but the funds were never there. Or, she could see that the boys were educated better. Maybe send them to school. There was so much she could do with a little extra money so she bit her tongue and mentally vowed to be pleasant to her grandfather.
