by Rinelle Grey
Hayden chuckled. “Shall we head back to the resort then?”
That got Audrey’s attention. She raised herself on one elbow and stared at him. Did he mean it? His expression seemed serious enough. But she wasn’t ready for this… whatever it was… this adventure, to be over yet.
She narrowed her eyes. “We’re too heavy. The helicopter would fall out of the sky. We’d better stay and digest a bit first.”
He gave a laugh at that, but broke off with a hand on his stomach. “Hmm, you could be right.” He grinned at her, then asked, “So, did you get any good photos earlier? I’ve always thought it would be cool to get some from the helicopter, but obviously I’m a little busy to try myself.”
Audrey froze at his words. This was what she’d been worried about, him asking her about her photos. Then he’d comment on them being ‘nice’, and then remind her that photography was a great hobby or some such nonsense. As if she didn’t already know.
“You know, cause I’m flying the helicopter,” Hayden prompted, obviously thinking she didn’t get his joke.
Audrey forced a smile. “I’d prefer you focused on that, yeah,” she managed.
He was still waiting, so biting her lip, she reached into her pocket, pulled out her phone, and searched for the photos.
Actually, some of them weren’t bad. The sun was bright enough that there was no motion blur, and the colours were gorgeous. Hayden waited patiently, not even trying to get a look in, and that made Audrey feel a little better about picking her favourite shot, and handing the phone over.
Hayden stared at it, giving a low whistle. “That’s gorgeous.”
Audrey found herself blushing, his enthusiastic praise making her feel disproportionately happy. “It’s just a phone camera, so it’s pretty limited,” she said deprecatingly. “But it’s hard to get a bad photo, given the subject matter.”
Hayden gave a laugh. “Oh, I’m sure it’s possible. Mind if I look at a few of the others?”
Audrey gave a hesitant nod. “Sure.”
Hayden flicked through the photos to the end, looking at them intently. “Oh, there’s the dolphins,” he exclaimed excitedly, and, “Oh, that shot of the island is great.” He turned the phone to show her.
Not surprisingly, he’d picked a few of her favourites of the bunch. They were the best photos, but she was glad that he shared her opinion.
He kept flicking through, back the other way now, making a few appreciative comments here and there. Then he paused, staring at the phone, then up at her. “That’s me.”
Audrey snatched the phone back, staring at the pictures of Hayden on the beach at sunrise. She’d forgotten those were right before the helicopter flight photos. She felt her face heating again. “I didn’t know it was you at the time,” she said defensively. “I was just taking photos of the beach, and you jogged into the scene. I liked the composition. I didn’t know who you were.”
“That’s okay,” Hayden said softly, putting a hand on her arm. “I don’t mind. You can take photos of me anytime.”
They stared into each other eyes for a few moments, and Audrey found herself imagining all kinds of photos she could take of Hayden. Half sitting, half lying here on the picnic rug with the sunny island in the background, for example.
She’d love to have a photo of the smile he was giving her. There was something in it, something in his eyes, that she’d love to remember forever.
Acting on impulse, she switched the phone back to camera mode and pointed it at him. She paused for a second, to give him the chance to protest, but when he didn’t, she snapped a photo. Then another. He just kept grinning in the same sweet, gorgeous way.
“You should never offer to let a photographer take photos anytime,” she said teasingly. “They’ll take you up on it.”
“I meant it,” Hayden said easily. “I’m not camera shy. In fact…” he hesitated, looking at her, and for a moment, Audrey was worried he’d ask if he could take a photo of her. She had no idea what she’d say if he did. It had been a long time since she’d been happy with a photo of herself.
But he didn’t. “You know, I run the Dragon Island Hideaway Facebook page, and I’d love a few photos to upload. Would you mind?”
Audrey stared at him, thrown. She hadn’t expected that. The idea of putting her photos out there on display, where people could see them, or worse, comment on them, was a little confronting, definitely more than a little scary.
“Oh, these are just phone camera photos, they’re not good enough for that,” she said hurriedly.
Hayden raised an eyebrow. “I’m not talking about printing them out and putting them up in a gallery,” he pointed out.
It was silly, he was trying to reassure her, but even the mention of a gallery just made her freak out more.
Why was she so afraid of this? Was it because people had always put down her photography? Her parents had called it a ‘hobby’, even when she was studying it at uni, and had pushed her to take more ‘useful’ classes. They’d rarely ever praised her photos, she suspected to stop her getting any ideas about trying to take up photography as a career.
Mark hadn’t been much different. He’d always objected if she’d ever pointed the camera at him, saying he got enough of that from the news when he was out and about, and he wanted to be left alone at home.
“I’m not a professional photographer,” she said quickly. “This is just a hobby.”
Hayden was looking confused now. “Audrey, your photos are gorgeous. I bet if you had a professional camera, they’d fit right in in a gallery. I couldn’t get anything as beautiful as that, no matter what camera I used.”
Now she was blushing. He was humouring her, probably because he liked her. That was all. And she wasn’t going to let herself be bothered by it. He was trying to be supportive, there was no need to be uncomfortable about that. It wasn’t like he was really trying to convince her to put her photos in a gallery.
It was her own, impractical desires that were making her nervous, but Hayden couldn’t possibly know that she’d once dreamed of seeing her photos hanging in a gallery. And he probably had no idea how pointless it was.
“I’m not interested in being in a gallery,” she said, trying not to make her voice sound too disparaging. “There’s no money in that. In any photography really, and you have to be the best of the best anyway.” Audrey winced, pretty sure she sounded just like her mother.
The frown on Hayden’s face confirmed it. “Who told you that?” he asked. “I don’t know much about galleries, but plenty of people make a living in photography. We need photos for everything, especially in this age of digital media.”
Now she wished she’d never brought it up. She waved a hand as though she could push the discussion away. “It doesn’t matter. You can use the photos if you want.” Maybe that would make him stop talking about it.
But, of course, it didn’t. Hayden sat up and leaned forwards and took her hands. “Audrey, if photography is something that is important to you, and I’m guessing it is from the way you’re talking, then you absolutely should pursue that.”
Audrey stared at him, her heart thumping in her chest. His words were so matter of fact, so certain, that they started her wondering whether it was possible. And that was dangerous, she knew that.
She shook her head, not game to let that dream in. “It’s not practical. It takes years to build a portfolio and then hope someone notices you. Right now, I need a solid job, one that will help me get an apartment, since I’m pretty much homeless.” She gave a laugh at that, even though that fact made her feel more panicked than amused.
“So find a more practical photography job while you do all that,” Hayden told her. “There are plenty of those. We have a photographer here at the resort, for example, to take professional pictures for the couples who holiday here. There must be plenty of other similar jobs.”
Audrey stared at him. Her first thoughts were to protest. Portrait photography was never going to lead an
ywhere. It was a dead end job. But that was still her parents speaking. They were the ones who’d pushed her into jobs that had ‘room for advancement’.
Was it really possible?
“I don’t know…” she said, her voice uncertain.
Hayden smiled at her. “Let me tell you a story,” he said. “You know, before I was born, my mum had a dream. She dreamed of owning her own bed and breakfast. Everyone told her she was crazy. Her father. Her ex-husband. She was a single mum at the time with no one even supporting her until she met my dad, but look what she built.” He waved his hand back towards the resort.
Audrey stared at him. The idea seemed impossible.
“I’m no expert, but your photos are good,” Hayden said earnestly. “Will you ever forgive yourself if you don’t give this a chance?”
Audrey hesitated. She’d said she’d come on this holiday to find out what she really wanted in her life. Was this possibly it? It was a huge risk, true, but the payoff was huge…
“Well, I suppose it doesn’t hurt to put a few photos of the resort up on social media,” she said with a nervous smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there.”
Hayden stared at her, and for a moment, Audrey thought he was going to protest more. But then he just nodded. “Sounds like a start. Maybe you could get some of me in the helicopter on the way back,” he said, his enthusiasm growing. “That would be great for advertising our helicopter tours.” He must have caught sight of the flash of fear on her face then, because he reached out and put his hand on her arm. “Only if you want to.”
“I… I’d like that,” she said softly. “I’ll get some on the way back.”
“That’d be great. Send a couple that you think are good through to me.” Hayden smiled, then turned to look up at the sun, then back at her. “We’ll have to head back soon, I’m sure there are a dozen more dramas waiting for me to sort out, but before we do, there’s something I’d like to show you. It’s just up around the corner. Do you want to come?”
Audrey hesitated, wondering what it was. But when she looked at Hayden, he was grinning like he had a surprise for her. That made her curious enough to nod. “Sure, though I’m not certain I can get up.” She patted her stomach, still full from their breakfast, but she let Hayden help her to her feet. She wasn’t going to give up a walk in this idyllic paradise. Especially not with Hayden. And especially not when he kept holding her hand.
They walked down the beach, hand in hand, close to the water, the gentle waves lapping at their bare feet. It was magical somehow. Audrey found herself wishing the morning would never end.
When they rounded the corner though, and Hayden’s surprise came into view, Audrey stopped dead.
Ahead of her, where the trees edged close to the water, right on the beach, was a small hut. It reminded her a little of the pictures she’d seen of the huts over the water at tropical resorts. The front supports were actually in the water, and a little veranda extended over the waves.
Audrey felt her jaw dropping. She’d never imagined anything like this might exist on the tiny island. She turned to Hayden and asked in surprise, “Does this belong to your family too?”
“Sort of. It’s mine, actually. This is where I go when I need to get away from it all, to take a break from the resort. That happens more than you might think.” He grinned at the last words as though sharing a joke with her.
Audrey gave a laugh, but in reality, her mind was churning.
It wasn’t that she wouldn’t love to explore this little hut with him, but she couldn’t help wondering why he was showing this to her.
Why did he really have a hut all this way away from the main resort? Sure, it was cute, but it seemed a little more private than was really necessary. Did he really come here alone, or was it all part of an act?
Was she the first woman he’d brought here?
That shouldn’t matter. She couldn’t blame him for what was in the past. But somehow, the words made her feel as though it was a trick, a way to get her alone and one he’d used before.
She had flashbacks of the many things Mark had said over the years, things that had seemed smooth and elegant at the time, but now seemed manipulative. He’d done it all because he thought she’d help his career, not because he cared about her.
Was Hayden doing the same? Oh, not to help his career, but to get her into bed.
He could hardly pretend this was something more serious, could he? She was only here for a week, for goodness sake. That wasn’t anywhere near long enough to discover if this might be something more long term, meaning he was just after sex.
She’d thought earlier that that was what she’d wanted. That’s what a holiday fling was, wasn’t it? But she’d realised that somehow, since she’d first agreed to go jet skiing with him a few days ago, right up until today, when he’d encouraged her to pursue her photography, that she’d connected with him on a level she hadn’t expected.
Somewhere along the line, things had changed. Audrey realised she wasn’t seeing this as a brief interlude anymore. It felt far too real for that.
If she slept with him now, she was going to get attached.
And leaving was going to hurt.
Hurt even more than Mark’s betrayal had hurt, although she couldn’t say why. Maybe because when she looked at Hayden she could see something bigger, deeper, more tangible than she’d ever felt with any man before. And that terrified her.
Terrified her enough to say, “It looks lovely, but we don’t have time to go any further. We should get back before your family needs you.”
And before he could respond, she swung on her heel and began to head back towards the helicopter.
She should have known that wasn’t going to work. Should have realised that Hayden would see right through it. One of the reasons she felt this connection to him was because he seemed to be able to sense when she really meant something, and when she was just trying to avoid a topic.
He caught up to her in just a few strides, keeping pace beside her. “I’ve done something to upset you again, haven’t I?” he said softly.
Was it really his fault? Had his invitation to the hut meant anything at all, or was she reading something into it that wasn’t there? Was it her inability to trust that was getting her all hung up on this again?
She honestly didn’t know, and that was the problem. Audrey felt her eyes fill with tears that she didn’t want Hayden to see, so she kept her eyes straight ahead, not pausing. If anything, she walked a little quicker.
Hayden put a hand on her arm and Audrey found herself slowing, even though he exerted very little actual pressure. “Audrey? Please tell me what it is?”
She wanted to pull away from him and run to the helicopter, but that wasn’t really an escape. She couldn’t escape off this island without his help, so there was no option to hide from this or from him.
“Audrey?” He moved one hand up to her chin, tilting it up towards his face. She could see the pain in his eyes when he saw her tears. “Was it the hut?” He winced. “I know it looks bad, but honestly, I wasn’t meaning to put pressure on you. I… this is somewhere special to me. Somewhere I share with very few people. And I wanted to share it with you. That was all. Nothing more, I promise.”
When she stared into his eyes, his genuinely honest expression only confirmed what she knew in her heart. This wasn’t about him.
“It’s not you,” she said, her voice cracking. “I don’t know how I can ever trust anyone again. I want to, but… it’s so hard.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
His words were simple, but for some reason, they broke through the wall around her heart and resonated with her soul.
She wanted to trust him, was it really so hard to?
But her mind kept voicing doubts. ‘What if he’s just saying that to fool you?’ it taunted. ‘Isn’t that what Mark would have said?’ ‘Can you really trust him when you’ve only known him for three days?’
Apparently it wasn’
t so easy. She shook her head, but she did stop walking and let herself turn towards him.
Hayden smiled at her. “I know this seems crazy. I feel it too. But I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I really enjoy spending time with you. I want to spend more time with you. Is there anything wrong with that?”
He couldn’t understand. This wasn’t just about Mark cheating on her. It was about so much more. It was about how her whole life had been a lie, and she hadn’t even seen it until it was too late.
“I… I don’t know what to believe anymore,” she said, her voice cracking. “I was with Mark for five years. Five years! We were engaged for one. And in all that time, apparently he’d been lying to me. He was only marrying me, probably was only with me at all, because he wanted to further his career. And I didn’t even realise.”
Hayden’s face was a picture of sympathy. “Knowing someone you care about lied to you must be devastating.”
Devastating. That was a good way to describe it. Audrey nodded. “But I’m not just angry at him. I’m angry at myself for believing the lie. For thinking he cared about me. How could I not have realised? When I look back, I can see all the signs, but at the time, I just didn’t see them.”
“It’s not your fault,” Hayden said softly. “You didn’t want to see them.”
“But what if I’m doing the same thing now?” Audrey said, frustration colouring her voice. “I want to believe that you care about me. That this feeling is real, but I can’t help wondering if it’s not. If I’m fooling myself again. I don’t know how to believe that.”
The real truth was, she didn’t know how to get past this. It required a leap of faith. One she wasn’t sure she was capable of making.
Chapter 11
Hayrian stared at Audrey, wishing there was some way to convince her of the truth about his feelings for her. To convince her he wouldn’t make something like that up.
He probably should have told her about the hut and what the island meant to him before they’d come, but he hadn’t wanted it to seem like he was expecting anything. Because he wasn’t.
