Joe took a step closer to her. The last thing he wanted was to hurt the person who meant the most to him. “I really hope that doesn’t happen.”
“You have the power, Luke Skywalker.”
He laughed. She was so weird and perfect and he loved being with her. And he owed her the truth, or at least what he knew of the truth at this moment. “This afternoon I have an appointment with the specialist, and if I’m cleared for duty, I start training with my team next week.”
The look of hurt on her face was quickly shuttered. She turned away from him to pick up the bed rail. “That’s great, Joe. Really great. I’m glad that you’re getting back to normal. What about Amelia?”
“I made an appointment with the principal of the middle school in my neighborhood. I’m touring it tomorrow.” He heard a creak outside the door and turned to look, but no one was there and the sound didn’t come again. He turned back to Claire. “The truth is that I’m not sure I’m making the right decision. And I’m not making the decision out of default, which is what would happen if I just keep putting it off.”
“I understand, Joe. I really do.”
She wasn’t angry or even upset, so why did he feel so conflicted inside? He held the screw and drilled it into the bed rail. “Besides, it’s not like any decision I make has to be forever.”
“That’s very true.” She picked up another piece of the bed and held it in place. “I always told the teenagers I worked with, just because you make one bad decision, that doesn’t mean you have to keep making them.”
“Exactly.” As he drilled the last screw into place in the second single bed, he realized that Claire had taken his decision a lot more calmly than he would have. “Are you okay?”
She glanced up from where she was making the last few turns with a manual screwdriver. “Of course. Listen, I’ve got this from here. All I have left to do is put the cross-rails in and they are already cut and ready to go.”
Joe held the drill in his hand and studied her face. She seemed okay. Maybe she just wanted him to leave. “Claire, I—”
She turned with a bright smile on her face. “You don’t have to say anything else. I’m fine. You need to go.”
After placing the drill on a piece of cardboard on the floor, he walked to the door and turned back. “Pensacola’s not very far. I’ll be back all the time for Amelia to see everyone. It’s not like we won’t stay in touch.”
She straightened, her eyes serious. “No, I don’t think so. I think if you go, it’s best if we make a clean break.”
“But—” When she didn’t turn around, he let the word trail off. He wanted to force the issue, but honestly, he just didn’t know what to say. “I guess I’ll see you around, then.”
She placed a cross-rail into the bed frame and screwed it into place without looking at him. “Okay, see ya.”
* * *
“Promise me you won’t forget me.” Amelia whispered as she clamped her arms around Claire’s waist.
“No way.” She leaned back so she could see into Amelia’s precious face. “You can come see me and the animals when you’re here to visit Bertie.”
“Why is Joe making me do this? I don’t want to go, Claire.”
Her emotions were all over the place, but even so, she knew she couldn’t encourage Amelia not to trust Joe. “Honey, your dad made a promise to his team. Just promise me you’ll give it some time.”
Amelia buried her face in Claire’s chest as Joe appeared in the door, those silver aviators concealing his expression. He cleared his throat. “Time to go, kiddo.”
She backed up a step, out of Claire’s arms, and scrubbed the tears off her face before whirling around and storming past Joe. A few seconds later, Claire heard the truck door slam.
Joe cleared his throat again. “She’s, um, really thrilled about the new chapter in her life.”
“Be patient with her. She was just getting settled. It’s going to take time.”
“I know.” He hesitated, then stepped toward her. “Claire...”
She stepped back. “Don’t, please.”
His hands dropped to his sides. After two or three long seconds, he turned and left, closing the door behind him.
Claire walked to the kitchen sink, watching out the window as Joe’s truck drove away, Amelia’s bedroom furniture tied into the truck bed. She had a knot in her throat the size of Texas.
The refrigerator opened behind her and two spoons clanked onto the island. “Come on. Rocky road always helps.”
She turned around. “It’s nine thirty in the morning.” But she took the spoon Jordan held out to her and dug it into the carton anyway. “He just seemed so clueless. Like he had no idea what in the world his leaving had to do with me.”
Jordan spooned ice cream into her mouth and talked around it. “Men are idiots.”
“That’s accurate.” Claire sat with the spoon in her mouth, except it wasn’t that simple. She sighed. “He’s not an idiot. He doesn’t want to hurt me or Amelia. He just doesn’t want to let his team down.”
“That’s actually kind of sweet.”
“It is. He is. That kind of loyalty shouldn’t be discounted. Right?” She took another bite of the ice cream. “Do you think I’m being dumb, getting so upset and hurt about this?”
“I think that last guy you went out with—the one that couldn’t understand that you had a life outside of dating him—did a number on you. Not everyone is a selfish jerk, sometimes they’re just kind of slow to figure things out.”
Claire stopped with the spoon halfway to her mouth. “I was engaged to that jerk.”
Jordan rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “I know. Sometimes I really do question your judgment.”
Claire opened her mouth to protest and closed it again. She had no argument there.
“Maybe don’t write him off just yet. Give him a chance to do the right thing.” Jordan dug into the ice cream again.
Claire put her spoon down on the island. “No. I have the kids to think about. In a couple of weeks, we’re going to have four children and each one of them is going to be needing our attention. I don’t have time for wishful thinking.”
But as she went into the barn to feed the goats, her eyes filled with tears.
She missed them already.
Chapter Seventeen
A scant week later, Joe stood at the door to Claire’s farmhouse, his heart slamming in his chest. How could a place that was so familiar seem so wrong? He turned to the barn, half expecting Amelia to come running out, hair bouncing, untied ribbon flying behind.
Instead, it was Claire standing in the open door, a wary expression on her beautiful face. And who could blame her? She’d asked him to stay away and he understood, but he needed her. Needed her help.
It wasn’t how he’d imagined his homecoming. He stared at the black flashlight in his hand, thinking that dark would be here soon and he didn’t know if Amelia had a light. Or a coat. The gnawing bite of fear in his stomach was relentless, reminding him over and over that he had failed.
He wanted to explain why he was here, but coherent words seemed too hard. “Amelia’s gone.”
Her posture was instantly alert. She stepped toward him. “What do you mean, gone?”
“She didn’t come home from school, didn’t go to school. I found out when she didn’t get off the school bus. I managed to track her to the Greyhound station.” He willed her to understand. “I know she got on a bus for Red Hill Springs. After that, I don’t know. Mom hasn’t seen her.”
“I haven’t seen her, but if she didn’t want to be found, she’d know how to hide here. Have you checked the cabin?”
“No, I came straight to the house.”
“Jordan!” Claire called. When her sister appeared, she quickly filled her in. “We�
�ll start at the road and walk in and see if there’s any sign she got dropped here.”
Jordan nodded. “I’ll search the barn from top to bottom and walk the pasture rails. Get a couple flashlights from the tack room. It’s going to be dark soon.”
Claire returned with a flashlight and started for the road. “Did you talk to her friends?”
“I don’t think she has any in Pensacola.” His voice cracked as he struggled to keep it together.
“What about here?”
“The ones I knew to ask.” A flood of fear swamped him. He’d been her father for only a couple of months and there was still so much he didn’t know. He folded, hands on his knees, trying to drag a breath into his constricted lungs. “I can’t...if something happened to her...”
Her hand on his shoulder was comforting, but her words held a gentle command. “Come on. Let’s start at the road. We’ll do it together.”
He nodded. “She was so miserable. I should’ve known. I should’ve done something before now.”
Claire didn’t respond; the only sound was her footfalls crunching on the oyster-shell drive. Their flashlights sent streaks of light ahead of them.
“I’m not seeing anything.” He directed the light into the shadow of a huge magnolia tree. “Where did she go? She couldn’t just vanish.”
“I hate to even bring this up, but is it possible that her mother came looking for her?”
“She wouldn’t go with her.”
“I don’t want to think so, either, but kids like Amelia always want to hope for the best. It’s possible if her mother called that she would have responded.”
“Kids like Amelia? I don’t know what you mean by that. She’s a kid.” He didn’t want to hear this.
Her tone was kind. “I’m not saying she’s not a great kid. She is. I’m saying that it’s normal and natural for a kid to want to believe the best of her parent, even when past history suggests otherwise, especially when...”
Especially when they were impossibly unhappy where they were. Fantasies about the unstable parent as rescuer were a fact of life. He understood this, dealt with it all the time in his work and in his own past. Claire was trying to help. “I get it. I just don’t want it to be true.”
She stopped in the driveway and looked around. “I don’t see any sign of her. She hid in the barn once before. If she’s here, maybe she’s hiding somewhere.”
He checked his phone again to see if she’d called—she hadn’t—and shoved the phone back in his pocket. “Maybe.”
Jordan met them in the driveway, shaking her head. “I searched every inch of the barn from the loft down to the crib. She’s not in there. I’m going to look around the pond and check the cabin, but if we don’t find her, we need to think about calling in the authorities.”
His temper shot through the roof. “I am the authorities. She’s my responsibility.”
Claire put a restraining hand on his arm and he shook her off. He knew enough to know that this didn’t look good. He knew his temper was driven by fear. He knew the longer Amelia was missing, the less chance they had of finding her.
He knew all that. But he didn’t care. He just wanted her back.
“You’re thinking like a father, not a cop. And I get that, but soon you’re going to have to make some difficult decisions.” Jordan turned and walked toward the pond, her flashlight illuminating the trees and path in front of her.
Joe dropped onto the picnic table bench and dragged his hand across his head, wrapping his arm around it as if he could block out the truth with that simple gesture.
He was lost.
Claire crouched in front of him and looked into his face.
“Did she say anything, give any indication that she was planning to run away?”
A knot rose in his throat, unwanted tears clouding his eyes. “No, but I knew she was really unhappy about being in Pensacola instead of here.”
Her voice was quiet but calm. “Okay. There’s one place we haven’t looked and that’s the house. Either Jordan or I was in it pretty much all day, but it’s a big house with lots of small spaces. Let’s do a thorough search, and then if Jordan doesn’t find her or we don’t find her, we’ll call in the state police.”
“All right.” He stood but didn’t move, barely able to breathe. “I can’t lose her, Claire. I only just found her.”
Without hesitating, she walked into his arms, wrapping hers around his waist, holding on. In spite of everything, she offered comfort. He pulled her to him, her soft curls against his chest. He let himself sink into the embrace, just for a second of peace.
Joe dragged in a breath and let her go. He had no right to hold on. “I’ll start at the bottom and you start at the top and we’ll meet halfway?”
“Okay.”
Standing in the downstairs hall, he let the homey feel of the house soak in, listening to Claire’s steps on the stairs.
He closed his eyes. “Dear God, I don’t deserve Your help. I don’t do what You say and I depend on myself way too much. But Amelia—Amelia’s just a kid. My kid. And if anything happens to her, I won’t survive it. Please, God, please keep her safe. Please let me find her.”
He buried his face in his hands, unable to keep the quiet sobs from escaping. He’d let her down. In some indefinable way, he had been unable to be the father that she needed.
He felt a small hand touch his back. “Dad?”
Whirling around, he grabbed her up into his arms. “Oh, Amelia.”
He lifted his head. “Claire, she’s here! She’s here.”
Setting Amelia on the floor, he held her face in his hands. Tears streaked her cheeks, too. “Do you have any idea how scared we have been?”
Claire nearly tumbled down the stairs in her hurry to get to them. “Amelia?”
“She’s fine. She’s safe.”
At this moment, he didn’t care about anything except that she was right here in front of him, not cold or lost or kidnapped, where he couldn’t get to her. As Claire pulled Amelia into a hug, he wrapped his arms around the two of them, holding on to the two most precious people in his life.
How had he ever thought he could live without them? Both of them. He’d gone back to his job because he believed everything he wanted was where he’d been.
He was so wrong.
Claire stepped back and mopped her tears with her shirttail. “Don’t you scare me like that, again, ever. I can’t take it.”
“I’m sorry.” Amelia, still tucked in at her father’s side, nodded her head. “I promise I won’t run away again.”
Claire pulled her phone out and called Jordan. “We found her in the house.” She paused. “Yep, under the stairs. I’m going to make them some hot chocolate.” Another pause. “Yeah, okay, thanks.”
She looked back at Joe. “Jordan’s going to feed the rest of the animals before she comes in.”
“Can I help? I really missed Tink and the babies.” Amelia’s eyes were big and dark, shadows still lingering there. Looking at her now, Joe didn’t know how he could’ve ever thought it would be okay taking her from the home and security she’d found here.
“Go ahead. I’ll be out in a few minutes. We’ll stay at Gram’s tonight.”
He followed Claire into the kitchen, and while she stoked the fire, he sent a text to his mom: Found safe. “It’s probably overprotective that I don’t want to ever let her out of my sight again, isn’t it?”
“Maybe a little.”
When she stood, he grabbed her hands in his two. Her gaze locked with his and he saw regret there. When she started to back away, he stopped her. “Can I say something?”
She nodded, but the wariness hadn’t left her eyes.
“I messed up. I thought everything would be okay because I was taking Amelia with me. What I di
dn’t realize, or maybe didn’t want to realize, was that I was leaving something really important here.”
Her chin trembled and he wanted to stop right then and pull her into his arms, but he wanted—needed—her to hear what he’d discovered.
“I gave my notice today before I realized Amelia ran away. I just didn’t have a chance to tell her. This is where Amelia feels safe and loved. And I get it, because it’s where I feel safe and loved, too.”
A lone tear slid down her cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb. “I love you, Claire. I really hope you’ll give me a second chance.”
His heart once again in his throat, he waited. She leaned forward, placing a sweet kiss on his lips. And she smiled, the light reaching all the way to her eyes. “Second chances are what this place was built for.”
He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet. Her hands on either side of his face, she lowered her lips to his.
Finally, he was home.
* * *
Once again, Claire sat in the library community room, her fingers twisted together so hard her nails were white.
Beside her, Jordan had the end of her braid, twirling it. “This is horrible. Is this what it was like the first time you came to a meeting? It’s like we’re in court or something, waiting for a verdict, and half the town is here watching. I can’t stand it.”
Claire glanced at her. “I know. We’ve come a long way, though. Technically, we don’t need their approval, but it would be a whole lot better if we had it.”
Roy sat across the aisle from her at the far end of his row. Unlike the last time they were here, Roy sat alone. His face was expressionless.
The room quieted as the mayor walked to the podium and called the meeting to order and the nerves jumping in her stomach intensified.
Chap Campbell cleared his throat. “Thanks, everyone, for coming out tonight. We started this discussion a couple of months ago. One of our law enforcement officers had some concerns about potential problems with a foster home for difficult-to-place children. Claire, why don’t you come up here?”
When she didn’t move, Jordan elbowed her. “Go. Get up there. Represent.”
The Dad Next Door Page 17
