"Later will arrive in mere seconds if you continue to do that," he ground out. Disappointment tempered with unmistakable feminine awareness glittered in her eyes. His own gaze roamed slowly down her golden-clad body. "That is indeed a beautiful gown," he murmured.
"Yes."
"Let's take it off."
Her eyes darkened. "Yes."
Releasing her wrists, he stepped behind her. Resting his hands on her shoulders, he leaned forward and kissed the pale, vulnerable skin at the base of her neck. Honeysuckle teased his senses, and he touched his tongue to the spot, absorbing the delicate shiver that ran through her.
Straightening, he ran his finger along the row of tiny buttons running down the gown from just below her nape to the center of her back. He slipped the top one through its loop, exposing a tantalizing glimpse of creamy skin, which he kissed before slipping the second button free.
"I specifically asked Madame Renee to put these buttons here," he whispered as he undid the third and fourth fastenings, "so that I could do this." The remaining buttons came free, and he slowly parted the material and ran a single fingertip down her spine.
A breath huffed from her. "Most likely I should be appalled at such arrogance and presumption."
"Not arrogance," he whispered against her neck. "Confidence. Knowing when something is… right. And inevitable." He gently pushed the gown from her shoulders and down her arms. It slithered over her hips, pooling in a golden puddle at her feet. He turned her slowly around, then took her hand, helping her to step out of the circle of material. He then picked up the gown and laid it over the back of a wing chair, congratulating himself on his impressive show of restraint thus far.
Turning back toward her, he swallowed. Dressed in nothing more than a nearly transparent chemise and delicate stockings tied with lace garters, she stole his breath. And a good deal of the restraint he'd just congratulated himself upon. Coral-hued nipples pressed against her chemise, calling to him like a siren's song.
He started toward her, but she backed up. He raised his gaze to hers and was arrested by the devilish challenge sparkling in her eyes.
"You're looking at me in a very distracting way," she said in a raspy voice he could only describe as smoky.
He advanced several more steps, angling himself so that her retreat led her directly toward the bed. "On the contrary, I'm not the least bit distracted. I know exactly what I plan to do with you."
"Oh, my. Would you care to enlighten me?"
Her retreat was halted when the backs of her legs hit the side of the mattress. He stalked slowly forward, like a jungle cat preparing to pounce on its prey. Halting directly in front of her, he absorbed the desire and mischief dancing in her eyes, the rapid pulse quivering at the base of her throat, the delicate, unmistakable scent of female arousal rising from her skin.
"My darling Allie, I would be delighted to enlighten you. First I plan to remove the remainder of your clothing." Reaching out, he slid her chemise slowly down her arms, until it fell to her feet, leaving her in just her stockings and garters.
"You are exquisite," he murmured, taking in all of her, every delectable curve from her head to her toes. He then filled his hands with her full breasts, her taut nipples pressing into his palms.
A long sigh escaped Allie, and pinpricks of pleasure raced over her sensitive skin. Her eyes slid shut, and she gave herself over totally to the sensation of his hands on her body, arousing her nipples, then gliding down to caress her buttocks while his lips and tongue laved her breasts. She ran her fingers through his silky hair, thrusting her breasts higher, urging him to take more of her into the wet heaven of his mouth. Desire curled through her, dampening her flesh, pooling an aching, heavy heat between her thighs that demanded his touch. Impatience scraped at her. She wanted, needed, more. Now.
"What do you intend to do next?" she said in a raspy voice she did not even recognize as her own.
He lifted his head from her breast, and the inferno blazing in his eyes stalled her breath. Rising to his full height, he placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pressed her down. With her knees already as limp as overcooked noodles, she sank to sit upon the mattress. He then gently urged her back until she was fully reclined from knee to head, her feet dangling off the side of the mattress. Insinuating himself between her knees, he loomed over her, resting his wide palms on the ivory counterpane on either side of her shoulders.
"Next," he said, his warm breath beating against her face, "I intend to find out if you taste like honeysuckle everywhere."
Oh, my. He leaned down and teased her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. She tried to capture his mouth in a kiss, but he moved his lips away, across her jaw, then down her neck. She ruffled her fingers through his hair, then raised her arms over her head, and simply gave herself over completely to the magic his hands and mouth wrought so expertly upon her.
For a man who'd claimed the inability to go slow, his exploration of her body was an agony of prolonged pleasure. His fingers and lips glided sinuously over her skin with a devastating combination of feathery caresses and velvety, wet heat. He suckled her breasts until she writhed beneath him, aching for him to fill her, and put out this relentless fire he'd stoked.
Still, his journey continued with a leisure that brought her to the brink of desperation. His tongue dampened a trail down her abdomen, then dipped into her navel. Feeling him shift lower, she forced her eyes open and propped herself up on her elbows. He knelt on the floor, his fingers playing with the curls between her thighs. His broad shoulders were bare, indicating he'd shed his robe. Their eyes met, and her pulse jumped at his intense expression.
"Spread your legs for me, Allie."
Her gaze locked with his, she obeyed, splaying her thighs wide, her heart pounding in anticipation. He slipped his hands beneath her, cupping her buttocks, then slowly slid her toward him, lifting her.
The first intimate sweep of his tongue over her female flesh brought a cry to her throat she could not contain. Her arms collapsed beneath her, and she lay back, caught in a maelstrom of intense sensation as he worshipped her with his mouth and tongue, licking, kissing, teasing her, building the pressure until a long, raw moan ripped from her throat. Looking for an anchor, she fisted her hands into the counterpane as wave after wave of release rushed through her.
It seemed her shattering, deep, inner contractions had barely subsided, when, in a limp daze, she felt him move, lifting her body to settle her on the center of the mattress. Before she could so much as draw a breath, he slid into her in one breathtaking stroke.
"Look at me," he whispered.
She somehow managed to pry open her heavy lids. His expression was harsh with need, his eyes appearing nearly black with arousal.
"Allie," he whispered. And then he kissed her, deeply, his tongue mating with hers. The scent and taste of her own female musk, mingled with his unique masculine flavor, inundated her senses, and the magic started all over again. Wrapping her legs around his waist, gripping his shoulders, she met his increasingly urgent thrusts. His lips slid away from hers, and he buried his face in her neck.
"Now," he whispered, the word ending on a groan. "Come with me. Now."
Her orgasm pulsed through her, wringing a cry of pleasure from her. He thrust into her one final time, clasping her tightly against his damp chest as he found his own release. Then, before her heart had even started to slow down, he rolled them onto their sides. Still intimately joined, she snuggled her heated face against his chest, reveling in the sound and feel of his frantic heartbeat tapping against her cheek.
When her breathing finally regulated, she whooshed out a long sigh of utter contentment, then leaned back to look at him. He'd been so still, she'd thought he'd perhaps dozed off. But she found herself looking into dark blue eyes. Very serious dark blue eyes. Much too serious eyes.
She instantly sensed the need to lighten the mood, for feelings and emotions she was not prepared to cope with were unmistakable in his gaze
. But before she could utter a word, he cupped her cheek in his hand and said the words she feared most. The words that would end their relationship.
"I love you, Allie."
Chapter 19
Robert looked into her wide golden-brown eyes and repeated the words that his heart could no longer contain.
"I love you," he whispered. A simultaneous sense of calm and elation rushed through him at finally telling her the words that would start them on their future together. Brushing back a tangled chestnut curl clinging to her soft cheek, he watched her, waiting for her response, waiting to hear her repeat the same sentiment to him.
Instead, all the color blanched from her cheeks, all traces of warmth vanished from her eyes, leaving her with a bleak stare, and her body went stiff and unresponsive in his arms.
She squirmed in his grasp, and even though he wanted nothing more than to keep her in his arms, he let her go. With jerky steps, she crossed to the wardrobe, pulling out a plain, off-white, cotton wrapper. She did not turn to face him until she'd secured the sash around her waist. He took the few seconds to don his own discarded robe, then sit on the edge of the mattress. When she did finally face him, he stilled at her expression.
She was smiling. But not the sort of happy smile he'd hoped for. This was an indulgent sort of smile… the sort he gave Emily or James when they pulled on his hands to lead him into a game.
"I thank you. However, everyone knows one mustn't take seriously any words said in the throes of passion."
Stunned, he simply stared at her for several seconds. Then, when he could trust his voice, he rose and erased the distance between them in three long strides. Grasping her by the shoulders, he opened his mouth to speak, but she laid her fingers across his lips.
"Don't say it again. Please."
He shifted his head to dislodge her fingers while fighting to hold off the unease and impatience pressing in on him. "Why the devil not?"
"Because such words are… awkward between two people who are merely lovers."
Her words stabbed him like a knife between his ribs. Before he could recover, she continued, "Indeed, it would be most unwise for you to think you love me. Given our situation, you really must put the idea out of your head."
His fingers tightened on her shoulders. "I do not think I love you. I know it. Absolutely."
She lifted her chin and raised her brows. "How can you possibly? You barely know me."
He could not decide if he was more stunned or more furious. He studied her eyes. Was that a flicker of fear he saw? Was she afraid of his feelings? Or was it her own that frightened her? Forcing himself to speak in a calm voice, he said, "Given the way we've spent our time in this bedchamber, I believe I know you extremely well."
Color stained her cheeks. "You are confusing love with lust."
There it was again, that flash of fear in her eyes. Some of the tension drained from his shoulders. She was merely afraid, no doubt because their relationship had progressed so rapidly. She simply needed reassurance. Completely understandable.
With his gaze steady on hers so she could read the sincerity of his words, he said, "Allie. I cannot deny I feel lust for you. Passion. But I am not confusing that with love. Perhaps I was precipitous in telling you how I feel, but I could not hide it any longer." He brushed his fingertips over her soft cheeks. "I assure you that ‘I love you' are not words I say lightly or frivolously. Indeed, except for my mother and sister, I've never said them to any woman."
"It takes longer than a week to fall in love, Robert."
"I disagree. There are women I've known for months, years, who, in spite of knowing them all that time, they have never inspired even a fraction of what I felt for you from the first time we met."
An almost desperate look came over her features. "Robert, believe me. You… you don't know anything about love."
"I beg to differ. I know everything about it. I've lived with it, experienced it, every day of my life. Look at my family- you cannot possibly have spent so much as an hour in their company and think that I do not know about love. It seems that the question is, do you know what love is?"
Her eyes went blank. "Yes. I had it once. That was enough."
He shook his head. "That wasn't love. That was one-sided hero-worship of someone who tricked you in the most despicable of ways. That was lies and deceit. Love is sharing. It's happiness and laughter."
"No, love is heartbreak. And I do not want any part of it ever again." Her bottom lip trembled, and her expression turned beseeching. "Robert… please. I do not want to hurt you."
"Then accept my love. Love me in return." He framed her pale face in his hands. "Marry me."
Allie stared at him in mute dismay, his words echoing through her brain like a death knell. Marry me. Marry me.
Dear God, how had she allowed things to progress to this point? He was looking at her, his eyes dark and serious, and frighteningly expectant. Terrifyingly hopeful. She tried to step away from him, from his compelling, unrelenting gaze, but his hands had slipped to her shoulders and he held her fast.
Anger seeped into her veins. Damnation, she was tired of men believing they were in control of any facet of her. Her movements, or her future.
She lifted her chin. "I told you before we embarked upon our liaison that I had no desire to ever marry again. I wanted a lover, nothing more. I am not looking for forever. Why can we not simply enjoy each other for the time I'm here?"
"We can. But I am looking for forever. And I want it with you. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you do not have feelings for me?"
The bottom seemed to drop out of her stomach. She wanted to deny it. Desperately. But could she? God help her, no. Somehow, against her own better judgment and warnings, she'd come to care for him. A great deal. A humorless laugh rose in her throat, nearly choking her. How foolish could she be? How could she have believed she could take this man into her bed, into her body, and not involve her heart?
But she could not, would not risk herself again. Dear God, this was the same, the very same, mistake she'd made with David-allowing her heart to rule her head with a man she barely knew. A man with secrets he'd conveniently neglected to mention. How many more times would she need to make the very same mistake before she learned? Two? Three? Five? A dozen?
Zero. She would not make the same mistake again. No matter what her heart wanted. Her heart, as she'd learned the hard way, was entirely unreliable.
"Obviously I cannot deny I find you attractive-" she began.
"That is not what I asked." The look in his eyes was half fierce, half confused, and it tugged at her heart in a way she'd never before experienced. "Can you honestly tell me you don't feel it? This magic between us? How is that possible, when I feel it with every breath? Every heartbeat?"
"I… I care for you," she said. "You are a generous, exciting lover. But that is all I want. All I can give in return."
He shook his head, as if trying to align his thoughts into order. "Jesus. I thought-no, I knew-that once we'd made love, you would see… would realize…" He released her shoulders and dragged his hands down his face. Closing his eyes, he tipped back his head and looked at the ceiling. When he lowered his gaze back to hers, anger burned bright in his eyes.
"How long, Allie? How long are you going to allow that bastard to rule your life?"
She stiffened. "If you mean David-"
"If I mean David?" A harsh, humorless laugh escaped him. "Of course I mean David. He's ruled every facet of your life from the grave for the past three years, from your actions to the clothes you wear. He might as well be sitting in this bloody room with us. The way I see it, you've paid your debt. You've paid his debts. Exactly how many more years are you planning to give him? How much more of your happiness are you going to let him steal?"
Her hands fisted at her sides. "You don't understand-"
"You're right. I don't understand." He advanced a step toward her, and she involuntarily retreated a step. "Make me understand, A
llie. Make me understand why you're not willing to put the past behind you and live again. Why you're willing to let one past mistake with a man who is dead ruin what we could have together."
"It is my past mistake I am determined not to repeat."
"What does that mean?"
"We barely know each other."
He drew a deep breath. "I know you, Allie. You've lived in my mind, in my heart, my entire adult life-all I had to do was find you. It is not necessary for us to know every single thing about each other to fall in love. As for me, I know everything I need to know about you. I know you are kind. Loyal. Honorable. You make me laugh. You make me happy. Those are the important things. We have a lifetime ahead of us to learn everything else."
"Clearly I was not specific enough. I should have said I do not know you well enough."
"That is easily remedied. What would you like to know?"
"What would you like to tell me?"
Her question and harsh tone stilled him, filling his eyes with a sudden unease. "I'd be happy to listen to any questions you wish to ask."
A very evasive, David-like reply, she noted. "Very well. I want to know about the fire."
His eyes went blank and a muscle ticked in his jaw. A deafening silence stretched between them, broken when he finally asked, "May I inquire who told you?"
"I cannot see that it makes any difference. What matters is that you did not tell me."
"I'd planned to."
"Indeed? When?"
"Eventually."
But she could see the true answer on his face, the guilt in his eyes. He clearly hadn't planned to tell her until after she'd married him-when it would be too late for her to reject him.
"It happened a long time ago, Allie."
"What happened?"
"What specifically do you want to know?"
Whirlwind Affair Page 27
