by Vonna Harper
“Should I have given you more warning?” he asked. “Allowed you more say in what happened?”
“Why did you do it?” she asked and sat up.
“You wanted it, didn’t you?” he sidestepped.
“Answer me, Kade!”
He couldn’t, could he? But she kept studying him, her nude body so damn close. “Several reasons,” he said although he didn’t know when, or if, he’d ever tell her all of them. “Mostly to bring you pleasure.”
“Pleasure? What about torture? Kade, I haven’t paid you for orgasms. Our relationship is different, at least I hope it is.”
“Is it?” he whispered.
“We haven’t defined it. Maybe because neither of us understands what’s happening. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’ll never forget what I just experienced.” She swiped between her legs, the contact gentle against her sensitive organs. “But I’d never think of-of playing with the sanity of someone I cared about.”
You care about me? Maybe…love?
“It’s what I know how to do,” he admitted, hating himself.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered and drew him close.
“Sorry?”
“Never mind.” She sighed and kissed him but kept the contact brief. “I need a shower. Please, will you be here when I return?”
“If you want me.”
* * * * *
What had that conversation been about? Maita debated as she left the bathroom. She hadn’t rushed her shower because she’d needed time to think and had told Kade she didn’t want him coming in with her because she needed her own space.
Well, she’d gotten both those things, only they hadn’t done her a damn bit of good.
Even clean with her just-shampooed hair still damp and no clothes rubbing her sensitive flesh, she felt no closer to understanding herself than she had when she’d gotten off her bed.
Then she saw him. Although he’d gotten dressed, he was stretched out on his back on her bed, hands behind his head and staring at the ceiling. She knew this was what she needed to be doing. Nothing else existed—for now.
“Solving the world’s problems, are you?” she asked. She was the one looking down at him. Maybe she should feel as if their roles had been reversed, but she didn’t.
“Your clothes—”
“Later. First, I need to deal with yours.” She crawled onto the bed, pushing against his hips to get him to make room for her. While he studied her, she unfastened his jeans and began the disrobing that had become such a core part of their relationship. He assisted by lifting his hips. Once she’d discarded his garments, she stretched out beside him and rested an arm on his thighs.
He hadn’t lost anything of his erection. Caressed by lamplight, she saw the beauty in his penis. Although his hair was a deep, rich brown, his pubic hair had been touched with lighter colors. He wasn’t particularly hairy. His lean hips and muscle-only thighs combined to make his cock look more dominant—either that or she’d be drawn to the organ no matter what its appearance.
She slid a hand under his scrotum and supported the weight of his balls. “I love the feel. The substance.”
He muttered something unintelligible.
“I can’t duplicate what you did to—for me,” she admitted. “I wouldn’t know how to begin.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
But, she believed, he’d stayed here because he wanted to fuck, to have sex, maybe to make love. She longed to ask if he ever thought of her in terms of love but was afraid of the answer. Maybe, maybe she could get their bodies to speak to each other.
“Sit up, please,” she asked.
He didn’t move so she scooted away and sat herself. Looking puzzled, he finally did as she asked.
“I want to see the look on your face when we have sex,” she told him. “And for you to know what I’m experiencing.”
“You’re ready for—”
“You are. That’s what matters.”
Maybe she saw what she needed to, but she chose to believe the wanting in his eyes. “You did this before.” His voice held a note of wonder. “The last time I’d worked you, when I was done, you turned things around and put the focus on me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He studied her. “Why would you?”
Because I’m falling in love with you, she admitted before another thought touched her. Was it possible none of his clients had given him consideration?
“Once,” she admitted, “when I was a child, I didn’t think beyond myself—surviving. But I’ve changed since I got free. I’ve learned horses are capable of giving and receiving love and I’m starting…I’m starting to believe humans are the same.”
“And you consider me a human?”
“Yes. Oh yes,” she said and kissed him. After a moment, he returned the gesture, tentative at first, but soon he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Because the mattress wasn’t particularly firm, they sagged against each other.
Having recently been royally machine-fucked had left her body humming along in first gear. She sensed her potential to shift into overdrive but was in no hurry. Instead, she dismissed her own needs and focused on Kade. His question about his worthiness bothered her.
Although she was content to remain in his arms, she forced herself to pull back. He kept a hand on her hip, her nails trailed over his ribs. “You are a beautiful man,” she told him. “Certainly handsome but also beautiful.”
“You need glasses.”
Guessing her comment had made him uncomfortable, she clarified by stroking his throat, shoulders, chest and belly. Her every touch caused him to suck in a breath, his cock shuddered. “Your body is perfect. Perfect,” she repeated when he started to speak. “And yes, I’m including your scars because they’re part of you.” Knowing she’d said this or something like it before, she ran her fingers into his pubic hair. “Have you ever seen a wolf?” she asked.
“In the wild, you mean?” He rested his own hand on her mons and cradled it in his palm.
Oh my god! “Wild or a preserve. Not a zoo.”
“I thought I did once when I was in Canada, but I’m not sure.”
Where had she been going with this? Oh yes. “You— Sometimes you make me think of a wolf. When you’re hunting…” He’d given her mons a gentle rub. Waiting for a repeat performance briefly stopped her. Then she returned the favor by sliding her fingers around the base of his cock but not touching the organ itself. “When you’re hunting, or working a woman, you’re a confident predator. Dangerous and single-minded.”
“Like this?” Although she sat on her folded legs, he managed to slide his forefinger over her labia.
“Y-es.”
He stroked her again then turned his attention back to her mons. “Just checking. All right. Your point is?”
Damn him! He was playing with her, demonstrating his understanding and mastery of a woman’s body. Not allowing her to forget what he’d brought to this bed.
Cupping his scrotum and closing her hand firmly around it pulled his attention off her sex organs. Although she didn’t particularly like things this way, she continued. “I used to volunteer at a preserve in central Oregon. Part of my chores included checking the wolves every morning, making sure they were all right.” She relaxed her fingers slightly but maintained her hold on his balls. “When they’re feeding or getting ready to feed, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near them. It-it’s not quite like that when you’ve immobilized me because you don’t have their fangs and claws.”
He laughed, removed his hand from her mons and leaned back, propping himself up with his arms and giving her full access to him.
She repositioned herself so she sat in the opposite direction from him. Leaning over him, she shifted her ministrations to his shaft. The weight, warmth, and pulsing veins fascinated her. “But wolves spend only a little while as predators. The rest of the time they’re part of a pack, interacting, showing affection, love.”
Under her fingers,
his cock turned into steel. When she ran a finger over its tip, she found a droplet waiting for her. She could house him, fulfill him, give him release—both of them.
“They can be gentle,” she said.
“I’m not.”
“Aren’t you? I’ve watched you with calves and foals. And your relationship with your ranch hands—they’re loyal because you treat them like equals.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
Why was he arguing with her? Instead of asking, she shifted so she was now on her elbows and knees, her mouth near his cock. Forcing him to take his hand off her mons hadn’t been the brightest idea she’d ever had. But, she reminded herself, she’d already had her turn. Had she ever!
While he watched, she leaned down and licked his tip. She wanted to hold his cock so she could direct its movement, but if she did, she risked losing her balance. Licking, retreating, briefly closing her lips around what she could of his cock more than entertained her. From the way he kept lifting himself toward her, he felt the same way.
“No more,” she admitted at last. She didn’t tell him her ass felt damn lonely sticking up in the air without his hands on it. Instead, she again changed position. This time she settled her bottom between his outstretched legs, her own legs over and around his hips and her feet touching his hands. She leaned back.
“There,” she said unnecessarily. “Now we’re closer.”
He indicated the scant distance between his cock and her cunt. “Not close enough.”
“I have a suggestion—if you’re ready.”
He indicated his cock. “If?”
Even as she lifted her hips, she faced facts—in their times together, she’d seldom directed the flow and content of what they did. Even now, she half expected him to throw her against the bed and force himself into her. When he allowed her to remain in control, she helped direct the angle of entry by bracing her hands on his ankles. He strained toward her but didn’t scoot closer, his body language saying the next move was hers. Throwing aside all caution and remnants of modesty, she pushed forward.
His cock tip pressed against her labia then found entrance. She inched closer, her buttocks riding over his thighs. His invasion of her increased. She dimly realized he’d captured her ankles, the grip holding her against him. She’d never fucked like this before and hadn’t known what to expect. Hell, she’d barely known what she was doing.
Now, looking at him with their sex organs joined, she wondered if she’d deliberately chosen a position that required them to watch each other.
Required? No, allowed.
Her weight on his thighs restricted his movements, but after a couple of false starts, they began rocking back and forth. Once she’d locked onto the movement, she started contracting and relaxing her cunt muscles. Easy at first but then with more focus, she visualized squeezing his cock. She tried to develop a rippling muscle action, but his size inside her, his eyes probing her every mood, splintered her concentration.
Rocking, rocking, rocking, holding his ankles so she wouldn’t fall back and find her pussy empty. Feeling his fingers locked around her ankles, watching his body’s movements as he probed her vagina. She’d never looked at him like this before, never lost touch with all restraint and allowed her eyes to say it all.
You fill me. Fulfill me. I trust you with everything.
The familiar wet heat of a pending climax hummed through her.
I’m coming, his expression revealed. Coming. Leaving something of me in you.
Something of me inside you?
“We-we didn’t use a condom,” she breathed.
“Too late.” He exploded inside her, a heated sperm bath filling her. As he continued to climax, she dove into her own sensations. Her cunt muscles worked him. She wanted only one thing—to record for all the time the feel of him inside her, to take possession of his semen and float to her own climax on it.
No longer able to focus, she closed her eyes and lived in sensation. He started to deflate, but she kept him in her, cradling him in soft, wet tissue. She’d become accustomed to explosive climaxes around him, but this one had a lazy quality, a reminder of long summer evenings with a breeze whispering over her flesh and the song of night creatures in the air. She could stay like this forever, as one with the man who’d changed her.
But finally her ride ended.
Because there was no hurry, she opened her eyes and found him gazing at her. Neither moved. “Damn it,” he said although his voice sounded emotionless. “I know better than to get carried away. If you get pregnant…”
Pregnant. A child. A life to nurture and nourish. Someone to belong to.
“I told you, I’m on the pill.”
“Douche.”
He didn’t want a child. Of course he didn’t.
“All right,” she whispered and left him.
* * * * *
Crying, Maita washed Kade’s seed out of her. By the time she’d finished and taken a shower, she’d retained enough control over her emotions to function. Thinking to apply makeup to hide the residues of her tears, she wiped steam off the mirror. Only when she dropped the towel to the floor did she realize she hadn’t brought in any clothes. It didn’t matter. He’d seen her naked more times than she could recall.
What was she doing? What had just happened? Kade dominated her, wanted her for everything except the real world where pregnancy changed sex partners into parents and taught them the full meaning of ever after.
Why should he be any different from her parents?
Face facts, Maita. You came into this relationship alone. You’ll leave it the same way.
After applying moisturizer, she reached for her limited collection of cosmetics with a shaking hand but stopped when she heard male voices. Walking over to the door, she listened.
Rylan.
Because she had no choice, she simply wrapped the towel around her before stepping into the room. Kade lay naked and unselfconscious on her bed. Rylan stood in the doorway. As she joined them, Rylan shifted his attention from Kade to her. A bemused expression spread over his face.
“Looks like I interrupted something.” He pointed at the towel. “A little late, am I? Round one is over.”
“What do you want?” she demanded. She glanced at Kade but couldn’t read his expression. Maybe she didn’t want to.
“I could say I’m here for a piece of the action, but that would be crude, wouldn’t it? Honest but crude.” Rylan reached for but didn’t touch the terrycloth covering her breasts. “What the hell’s the deal, Maita? You won’t spread your legs for me, but Kade’s in your bed. You’re playing favorites.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Kade bit out.
“Who I sleep with and when is none of your damn business,” she told her former boss.
“Under normal circumstances, I’d agree, but it’s different when it comes to Kade and me, isn’t it, old buddy.”
“Get the hell out of here.” Kade swung off the bed and stalked toward Rylan.
Rylan refused to give way. “Not yet, good buddy, not yet.”
“What did you do?” she demanded. “Walk in without knocking?”
“Sure.” Rylan shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
An icy feeling washed through her. Sick, she turned on Kade. “What is he saying?”
“Nothing. Damn it, Rylan, get the fuck out of here.”
“No!” she insisted. “I have every right to know what you’re talking about. The two of you have, what, used the same woman at the same time?” She felt sick.
“Technically speaking, no,” Rylan supplied while Kade glared. “I believe that’s anatomically impossible although since women have more than one opening…” he indicated her mouth and then her ass, “…it’s been known to happen.”
“Don’t play games,” she managed through clenched teeth. She’d begun to shake. “What have the two of you done together?”
“Nothing,” Kade snapped. “He’s watched me at work, that’s all.�
��
“All?” Rylan snorted. “It was more intense than that, a hell of a lot more. For your information, missy, your fuck partner here likes an audience. And why shouldn’t he?”
Kade had perfected the art of whatever the hell it was he did for a living. An act she’d always considered private was something he believed suitable for public display. From the night she’d met him, he’d kept her off balance. She barely knew which way was up around him. Whatever had made her think that she, an innocent to the dark world Kade and Rylan lived in, had any place in it?
She didn’t belong there! She’d certainly never surrender her freedom to some man determined to force a climax from her. A man who wanted nothing to do with tomorrow.
Feeling as if she was clinging to the edge of a cliff, she turned her back on both men, walked over to where she’d put her suitcases and yanked on the first garments she found. Numb, she faced the men. Rylan had an amused, half-aroused expression. She couldn’t read anything of Kade’s thoughts.
Of course.
“I’m leaving,” she said. “Rylan, I’ll let you know where to send my last paycheck. Kade… Kade, I gave you everything and got nothing in return.”
“Except for his cum,” Rylan said.
“Shut up,” she and Kade said at the same time. “Nothing of your heart,” she added.
Chapter Twelve
As she’d done since she’d left Klamath three weeks ago, Maita spent the time before her ride at the Pendleton rodeo not behind the chutes but among the trailers, campers, and trucks belonging to contestants and their families. She should be accustomed to the sight of wives, girlfriends, children, dogs, even parents, but the past three weeks had been hard.
Her attention settled on a tiny girl in a stroller. Dressed in a frilly pink dress with a slightly askew pink bonnet covering what appeared to be a nearly bald head, the little one looked overwhelmed by the mass of legs churning around her. Suddenly the girl broke into a grin and began clapping. Large, leathered hands reached down and drew her out of the stroller.
