“Listen up, Kendall. You a fuckin’ woman. As a general fuckin’ rule, we don’t fuckin’ hurt girls. As fuckin’ long as you don’t fuck with Megan, you safe. I will never fuckin’ hurt you. Scream and fuckin’ holler at you if you piss me the fuck off. That’s fuckin’ it. I ain’t got fuckin’ time to hold your fuckin’ hand. You got twenty-four fuckin’ hours to get Brooks here.”
“Why?” Kendall mumbled from behind Johnnie.
“His law firm represent your ex old man. I want information.”
“He can’t volunteer anything to you,” she pointed out. “There’s such a thing as attorney-client privilege.”
“Don’t give a fuck,” Outlaw snapped without remorse. “Get him the fuck here or fuckin’ else.”
“I’ll see—“
The slamming door cut off her words and she wilted in relief that the force of nature known as Outlaw Caldwell had left. She sagged onto the sofa, situated against the wall and right behind her.
Johnnie remained standing but now faced her. “Are you okay?”
Her heart pounded, nearly banging out of her chest and her pulse thumped through her, but, for the most part, Kendall hadn’t been harmed.
Sitting next to her, Johnnie pulled her into his arms again.
“He doesn’t like me,” she concluded.
Leaning back, Johnnie tipped her chin up. “Christopher doesn’t feel one way or the other about you, gorgeous.”
“How do you know? The evidence suggests otherwise.”
Johnnie lifted a brow, a half-smile curving his mouth. “Is that so, Attorney Miller?”
“Yes,” she said around a laugh. Her first legal references in a long while buoyed her.
“Maybe, talking to Brooks is a good thing.”
Kendall glanced away, disagreeing with that statement, too. She didn’t have a clue what she’d say because she didn’t know what story Spoon had given to her former mentor and employer about her resignation.
She’d worked so hard to get her degree. When her father had been killed and Marie sued the trucking company—and lost—Kendall had taken an interest in the legal system. She’d never veered from her desire to become an attorney and now it had been taken away from her. Like her father had been. And her mother. And her little sister.
Everyone and everything that mattered, she’d lost. She pressed her hand against her belly, the realization dawning Baby Biker would be her only blood relative in her life. Her daddy had a sister and a brother, but Kendall hadn’t seen them in years.
Johnnie stood and Kendall glanced at him, the heated look in his eyes tightening her belly. But she wanted more than sex between them. She wanted friendship and trust. Stability.
“Wh-where were you today?”
Astonishment flickered into his eyes, but he recovered quickly enough and shrugged. “Handling situations with Christopher.”
“What does that mean?”
“Taking care of club business. Nothing to concern yourself with.” He reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go to the room and spend some time together.”
“Why can’t we stay in here?”
Johnnie scowled at her. “This is Christopher’s fucking office. Not mine.”
“Let’s go to yours.”
“I don’t have one here.”
That wasn’t fair. He held an important position, too. “Shouldn’t you?”
“No, I shouldn’t.” His expression closed and the walls banged into place, shutting her out.
She searched for another topic, a question gnawing at her popping into her head. “When are we moving?”
“Moving?” he echoed. His shock indicated he hadn’t thought of getting another house.
“Yes.” She folded her arms, determined to stand her ground with him. He had to know she had a brain. He treated her brainless because she acted stupid. But not thinking for herself dissatisfied her now and she wanted to stop cowering in fear. Maybe, she’d never be able to face down a witness on the stand or argue with a fellow attorney or plead a case to a judge. In her private sphere, though, she wanted respect. “I can’t imagine we’re going to live here the rest of our lives. And Megan Caldwell might be happy allowing her son to be raised by bikers, but I want my Baby Biker to say something other than fuck as its first word.”
It still horrified Kendall thinking about Johnnie telling Little Man to say moo and the child had said foo. Why? Because Digger and the others were teaching him the word fuck.
“What are you expecting from me?” The sudden coolness in his tone matched the storm gray in his eyes. In moments, he’d gone from reasonable to unfriendly. “I hope like hell it isn’t changing me. Coming between my brothers and I. Forcing me to choose between you and the baby or the club.”
Her heart banged against her chest and her insides quaked, shrinking into oblivion. Why wouldn’t they? She’d always lived in the shadows. “I don’t think your putting me and the baby first is too much to ask.”
“Putting you first requires what?”
“Making me feel like I’m important,” she flared, proud of how eloquent she presented her argument. She felt vital and alive, ready to stand up to him and demand what she needed. “I don’t want to be your afterthought.”
“You’re here, aren’t you? You’re not a fucking afterthought.”
“One day, you’re sweet and…and hot and, the next, you’re distant and cold.” Not one day. More like from one hour to the next. Yesterday, at K-P’s funeral, he’d made her feel wanted and needed, then he’d deserted her for hours. “What do you expect from me?”
“I don’t fucking know,” he admitted. “I’m taking this day-by-day and hour-by-hour.”
“You couldn’t even come with me this morning,” she cried. “When I needed you the most.”
He scowled at her. “I didn’t need to be there. You had Megs there and there’s no one I’d trust to take better care of you.”
“Your Megs is a snotty little bitch,” she spat. “She barely spoke to me.”
“Did you try to talk to her? Megs wouldn’t—“
She didn’t want to hear what Megs wouldn’t do. “Yes, she would,” she interrupted. “Because she did. Instead of telling me what I should do, maybe, someone should tell her what she should do. Starting with manners.”
Johnnie scrubbed a hand over his face, incredulity straining his expression, a muscle ticking at his jaw. “Talk to me,” he encouraged with unexpected patience and more kindness than she’d anticipated. “You’ve been through a lot. You told me and that’s affecting you. Us. Your relationships with people who are very important to me. Your judgment.”
Kendall sucked in a breath, a smorgasbord of emotions slamming into her. Anger because he insisted on referring to Megan as someone important to him and hurt that he found her so…broken. As broken as she felt. She wished to reclaim the pieces of her soul that had been scattered about over the past weeks. She just didn’t know how or where to start. Her life felt like ashes in the wind, fragmented, floating more out of reach with each passing day.
If she were to ever reclaim the essence of herself, she needed Johnnie’s continued understanding. She needed time. And she needed away from this stupid club and fucking Megan Caldwell. She needed Johnnie away from this shitty MC and his perfect little bitch, whom he’d loved first.
“Kendall?” Her name fell from his mouth, a plea. For her to talk and be what he wanted her to be. Someone she wasn’t. “How can I help you? I want to—“
She licked her lips at the perfect opening. “You can help me by not defending Megan,” she argued, unable to keep the anger out of her voice.
“You’ve pegged her wrong…”
His voice trailed off at her glare and he sighed.
“You can help me by turning in your patch,” she continued, voicing her ultimate goal. He had to know that he could no longer have her and this. “I’ve lived the MC life, somewhat, with Spoon, and look how it had turned out for me?” With Spoon, she
’d had her own apartment and he’d had his house and, yet, even then, the clubhouse could be a bit much.
Johnnie no longer had a house and lived on the premises full time. House or not, he’d always have to divide his time between her and the club.
Clearing his throat, Johnnie gave her a crooked smile, oozing sex appeal and charm. “You met me in this club, gorgeous,” he pointed out with care. “This club is who I am. The essence of me.”
“It isn’t,” she insisted. “You’re brilliant. You could be the head of a Fortune 500 company. The president of a bank. Anything but this.”
Shock entered her eyes and she pressed a hand against her belly, a silent reminder of their baby. Eventually, she’d demand he make a choice. Because she had to. For their baby. For her own sanity.
His attention dropped to her stomach and her breath caught at the possession in his gaze. She had to get through to him and make him understand, once and for all, what she needed to be happy. If he wanted to be a part of their baby’s life, he’d listen.
“I’m not Spoon,” he said quietly, his expression fierce and his mouth tight. “My brothers aren’t like—“
She lifted a brow, daring him to speak the blatant lie. “You’re out every day,” she pointed out slowly. “You’ve brushed off your injury and for what? To retaliate. To—“
“You can ask a lot of me,” he interrupted with returning irritation, “but patching out isn’t one of those things. You want me, then you take me for who and what I am. A member of this club. We fear no one and respect everyone. Do we live by our own rules? Yes, Kendall. But I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never disparage you. I’ll never cheat on you. I’ll protect you with my life. The one thing—the only thing—“ He scowled at her and rubbed the back of his neck. “Spoon hurt you,” he repeated.
Folding her arms and raising her chin, she frowned at him. “I’m not willing to discuss what Spoon did to me again.”
“Why not? When we need to. We discussed it one time. The night I was shot. The night I told you about me and Christopher. You can’t hold this in,” he pressed. “I can’t…talk to me.”
Rephrasing his words and not confiding everything to her frustrated her. “I. Don’t. Want. To. Live. Here.”
“You have an apartment?”
Not believing she’d convinced Johnnie so easily, Kendall’s eyes widened at the question. “Not anymore.”
“Let me guess. Fucking Spoon took care of it.”
Unwilling to explain her visit to her condo to Johnnie, Kendall shrugged, not knowing what had become of her mother’s house and no longer caring. After finding Reni installed at her place, in her bed, Kendall didn’t feel brave enough to drive to Marie’s old residence and investigate what had become of her mother’s possessions.
“We’re closing in on Spoon, Kendall,” Johnnie said into the tense silence.
At the mention of Spoon, she glanced away. She’d seen him on the camera today. Reni had been in her apartment, so Spoon lurked nearby. If she told Johnnie what she’d done, he’d be furious. He’d never understand her motives. Since he hadn’t taken her there yet, what had he expected her to do?
“If you don’t want to live here, fine. I’ll get you an apartment.”
“You will?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll move soon, then?”
“No, gorgeous. I said I’d get you an apartment. I’m staying here. As for our Baby Biker being around my brothers, there’s no question in my mind on how that’s going down. I’m a fucking biker, so your words not only insulted my fucking club and my brothers, they insulted me.”
“Just because you’re a biker, doesn’t mean Baby Biker will be,” she retorted with a sniff, unwilling to show how much his possessiveness towards their baby pleased her.
“I know, Kendall,” he snapped. “But I’m not going to keep my child away from the club or its cousin. Cousins,” he amended. “If you don’t want to go to our room, I’m having a beer.”
Without waiting for her response, he left Kendall alone again.
Feeling like the biggest jerk alive, Johnnie sat at the bar, nursing a beer and ignoring the loud crowd, the attempts at conversation, and the curious stares at his bad mood. John Boy didn’t get into fucked-up moods. He always laughed, smiled, and joked, so everyone wondered what the fuck was going on, wondered where the fuck their John Boy had gotten himself off to.
No one dared ask him, but their expressions said it all.
That John Boy had been an illusion, created to ignore the pain of his past and the weight of his secrets. The one constant in his life, however, had been his love of the MC, and his dedication to it.
He told himself he could handle anything with Kendall. Except having to choose between her and the club. He’d try to do better and not make her feel on the fringes of his life, but, he made this up as he went along. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He treated Kendall as that moment dictated. Was it right to handle her and their relationship in such a manner? He didn’t fucking know.
He’d never shared his life with anyone, not even Iona when they’d been together. He thought he had, but they’d never lived together and she’d demanded he give up the most important part of his life. He’d built his entire identity around the Death Dwellers. Yes, he’d graduated from college and become the “CEO” of a medical laboratory, but he lived and breathed the club. As much as Christopher did.
Fuck, he didn’t know if he wanted to share his life now, especially after their conversation tonight.
He drew in a deep sigh and gulped down the rest of his beer, then slid the bottle to the other side, an indication he wanted another one. Fuck, no one manned the bar. With Mortician on the road and K-P…fuck, the bar was their territory. More Mortician’s than K-P’s but if one wasn’t there, the other one was.
“Is there anything I can do?” a voice asked from beside him.
Johnnie couldn’t help but laugh at Kendall’s question. Every time she uttered those words, it came when she’d done more than enough already.
He raised his empty bottle and pointed behind the bar, unable to hide his annoyance. “Get me a beer.”
She chewed on her lower lip and, irritated or not, Johnnie wished she’d taken him up on his offer to go to their room. He wanted to taste her mouth, feel her body shuddering around him.
“I’ve never served in a bar before.”
“I didn’t ask you to serve in a bar. I told you to get me a beer.”
“Yo, John Boy! Where the fuck somebody at,” a brother from an out-of-town chapter called. “I need another bottle.”
Hesitating a moment longer, Kendall wrapped her arms around her waist and then went around to the bar. Handing him the beer proved simple compared to the orders of mixed drinks and bottles of alcohol swamping her within moments.
He’d remain here and keep watch her over and Baby Biker, but he couldn’t help feeling pride at her initiative. Considering her past, her gutsy actions seemed a huge stride in the right direction.
Chapter 7
Kendall gripped each side of the sink, her legs trembling at the sensation shooting through her each time Johnnie tongued her clit. Her breasts jiggled, her body heat warming the porcelain sink they rested in. His arms wrapped around her thighs kept her upright. His nips and licks drew moan after moan from her. She never wanted him to stop, but his relentless pussy eating sent her over the edge and she screamed, her nipples tight and aching, her womb clenching.
Pulling his mouth away and settling his hands around her waist, he rose to his feet and spun her around, lifting her into his arms and burying his cock inside her still throbbing pussy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and threw her head back, shivering at the feel of his lips kissing the column of her throat. He pumped in and out of her, his big cock filling her, stretching her, and possessing her. She clenched her pussy muscles, squeezing his dick, her enjoyment spiking at his harsh groan.
She dug her nails into his biceps and laid her head on
his shoulder, falling apart once more. “Johnnie,” she breathed.
He stilled inside of her. Tightening his hold on her, he headed for the bedroom. She clenched her pussy around his cock and moaned. With each step, he moved inside of her. When they reached the bed, he guided them down together, careful to keep his weight off her.
His mouth met hers, his tongue slipping past her lips, filling her with her own taste and his taste, too. Heat swept through her at his mastery of her mouth. He put everything into his kiss—lips, teeth, tongue.
“We’re just getting started, Kendall,” he swore in a sex-roughened voice, his blond hair tousled, his hot skin singeing her.
Kendall sighed at his tender regard, unable to stop her smile or the goose bumps rising on her each time he trailed his fingers over her belly and pubic bone.
She shivered and he grinned, repeating his caresses.
“Reprobate,” she murmured on a gasp.
He nuzzled her breasts, licking one nipple and then the other, before drawing it into his mouth and sucking. Kendall threaded her fingers through his hair, the silky texture stimulating her already overworked senses, leaving her unable to do anything but chant his name.
A moment later, he rolled onto her, thrusting into her in one, long stroke, sending her soaring, flying, gasping, the intensity of her release a new experience.
Opening her eyes, she found him staring at her, unbelievable awe in his expression. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Kendall,” he murmured, still hard and thick inside of her.
She tilted her pelvis, encouraging him to move, not ready to hear platitudes when she didn’t know what to believe herself.
He brushed his nose against hers. “You want me to keep my dick in your pussy, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
He swiveled into her, then pulled out in slow torture. “Do me a favor, gorgeous?” he growled against her ear, biting her lobe.
“A-anything,” she managed
“Suck my dick.”
He slid up her body until he hovered over her, his cock glistening with her juices, rising from his nest of curls and touching her lips. Snatching her out of her lovemaking with Johnnie and catapulting her back into Spoon’s assault.
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 93
