Dreams that wasn’t to be. Both Cash and Stretch seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth. She’d attempted to sneak glances of them, but never had, so she’d decided to come to her apartment today, the first time since the breakup. She missed her own space. As much as she loved having people around, she needed time to mourn the loss of her guys openly.
“Ant Fee!” CJ called.
When she was leaving the house, CJ asked to come with her. Somehow, he’d convinced her to bring Ryder, too. By the time they arrived at the apartment, both boys had been ready for naps.
“Ant Fee!”
CJ’s second screech and Ryder’s whine got Fee moving. Ryan and Devon were a breeze to babysit. CJ was a handful on his own. She smiled. Much like his father.
Jumping from the sofa, she ran to her bedroom, finding CJ holding Ryder down, who struggled to move, a turn away from rolling to the floor if CJ wasn’t there.
Crap. She was usually a better babysitter than this.
Ryder released a frustrated wail, and CJ raised frightened green eyes to hers.
“Good job, bud.” She rushed to her nephews and scooped Ryder into her arms.
“Bitch ass baby,” CJ complained, huffing out a breath.
Holding back laughter, Fee pretended not to hear. “Come on. Let’s see what Meggie sent in that huge bag.”
“Him like airplanes,” CJ informed her, as if she didn’t know, running ahead and going to the diaper bag. He unzipped it.
Before Fee spoke, he poured everything out. She groaned. “Thanks, CJ.”
“Welcome, Ant Fee.”
After changing Ryder’s diaper and quieting him down, she arranged the blanket Meggie sent—with CJ’s help—and found baby crackers in a Ziploc bag—again with CJ’s help. He stuffed a handful into his mouth, then scattered some around Ryder. The baby followed his brother’s antics and grinned at the faces CJ made.
Satisfied they were settled and would keep each other entertained, Fee got to her feet, just as her doorbell rang.
“Coming!”
She opened her door to find Val, Zoann, Georgie Mason, and five children there. Zoann’s smile lit up her face and Georgie gave her a sheepish grin, her brow lifted.
It came to Fee that she shouldn’t know Cash’s sister.
“Ant Zo!” CJ screamed, saving her from the awkward moment. “Ant George! Bryn!”
“Jay,” Bryn said with a grin, so pretty with her mother’s black hair and her father’s blue eyes. Her little brother squirmed in their mother’s arms.
Georgie sat Chance on his feet. He, too, had black hair and blue eyes.
CJ hugged Bryn, then went to Zoann and did the same. When he wrapped his arms around Georgie’s legs, she ruffled his hair.
“Ro,” CJ called, just noticing Johnnie and Kendall’s son. “What you doing here?”
Leave it to CJ to ask a blunt question.
“Want to play, Rory?” Ryan asked.
“That would be a negative,” Val said, just as Rory started to move. The words made him freeze. “Your old man waiting on us at the park.”
CJ frowned. “’Law, too?”
“’Law with Meggie.” Val snickered. “Making another kid probably.”
Zoann elbowed him while CJ blinked.
“How him make another kid, Uncle Val?”
That wiped the smile off Val’s face.
“Asshole,” Zoann gritted, glaring at her husband. “He’s a small boy.”
“Outlaw tell him everything else, Puff. How I’m supposed to know he don’t tell him about fucking?”
“Val!” Fee, Georgie, and Zoann chorused.
Val cringed at Zoann’s narrowed eyes and raised his hands. “That came out wrong.”
“When I punch you, your teeth will come out wrong, too,” she snapped.
Clearing his throat, Val looked at CJ. “You can come with us, CJ.”
Nodding, CJ turned to Fee. At the ding of the elevator, Fee realized she hadn’t invited her guests inside yet.
“I go,” CJ said. “Ryder stay. Him a fucking brat.”
“CJ!” Zoann said sternly. “Behave. Understand? Otherwise, you’re staying with me and I’m telling Meggie.”
“Kay, Ant Zo,” CJ said, unfazed at the threat.
Georgie combed her fingers through her hair. “Val, will you be okay to bring Chance and Bryn to Sloane?”
“He would be,” a voice said from behind Val, “if I wasn’t here to get my children myself.”
Sloane Mason shouldered his way past Val and Zoann, and into Fee’s apartment, dragging Georgie with him. Everyone else followed him in.
Fee was too much in shock to apologize for her bad manners, as Sloane kissed his wife like they were alone.
“Jesus, you’re fucking pathetic,” Kiln grumbled from the doorway.
Everyone was inside, but no one had closed the door.
Kiln headed for Chance and lifted the boy into his arms.
“What’s it to you if I’m pathetic?” Sloane retorted. “Oh, I forgot. Your hand needs a rest, so you haven’t had company in a while to know what it feels like.”
Zoann chuckled. “You deserved that, Kiln,” she said, then smiled at Fee. “Surprise, baby. You’ve been so sad recently and I know what a fan you are of Sloane.”
Sloane’s eyes danced with merriment. His hoop earrings and dark hair added to his sex appeal. Besides, he was one of the good ones, who wore his wedding band with pride.
“I wanted to finally introduce you to him and his wife,” Zoann said.
“Oh, indeed,” Kiln chortled.
Zoann glanced from him to Fee. “You know them already?”
Sloane kissed Georgie again. “Time for me to get my children and go. Leave you ladies to your business.” As he headed to Bryn, he paused to kiss Fee’s cheek.
“Excuse me,” another voice drawled from the door.
Blond and gorgeous, the suited man had the most amazing Southern accent.
“Hey, Jason,” Georgie said.
Sloane stiffened. “Yes?”
“A crowd’s forming, sir. Pres sent me up. He wants me to stay with Georgie since you were spotted by some eagle-eyed fan.”
“Fuck. Fine. Let’s go,” Sloane said, unhappiness turning his mouth down.
“Bye, Puff.” Val kissed Zoann breathless, then escorted Ryan, Devon, Rory, and CJ out.
Still holding Chance, Kiln halted in the hallway, until Sloane kissed Georgie again. Finished, he swept Bryn into his arms, then paused in front of Jason. The bodyguard averted his gaze, reddening.
“Protect my wife,” he warned and stalked off.
Georgie stared at Jason. “Why does my husband dislike you so much?”
Jason shrugged. “I’ll be right outside,” he said instead of answering, and closed the door.
Ryder released a cry, reminding Fee he was still there.
“So that’s how Meggie got time to have a bedroom picnic with Christopher,” Zoann said with a wicked grin. “Bunny brought the twins to a checkup and you took the other two.”
“CJ took me,” Fee admitted.
“I’m sure. He’s a little rascal.” Zoann nodded to Georgie. “Do you two know one another?”
“Yes.” Her time with Cash rushed back and her sadness returned. She forced a smile. “Let’s sit down and catch up.”
Georgie went to the same chair Fee had sat on the evening she’d broken up with Cash and Stretch. One minute memories overloaded her system and the next her entire story spilled out. Georgie already knew by her responses, but Zoann didn’t. She sat on the sofa, her expression morphing from shock to outrage to sympathy. Somewhere along the way, Georgie had taken Ryder and now walked behind him as he crawled.
“I love Cash and Stretch. Did I do the right thing?”
Zoann slid to the floor, where Fee sat, leaning against the sofa and hugged her. “Yes. Cash isn’t relationship material.”
Umm. “Georgie’s his sister. Remember?”
“What does
that have to do with anything? You’re my sister. Cash is a fucking asshole.”
“Only where romantic relationships are concerned,” Georgie inserted, her narrowed eyes daring Zoann to refute her.
“Agreed,” Zoann said without apology. “From what Val says he’s loyal to all the brothers. An explosives expert. A good guy.”
He was all that and more. Underneath that biker image hid a kind soul. “Why did you call him an asshole?”
“He hurt you, Fee. That makes him a great asshole,” Zoann answered.
Returning Ryder to the blanket, Georgie sat on Fee’s other side, closest to the baby. She grabbed Fee’s hand. “I’ve never seen Cash happier than when he’d been in Kansas. You and Stretch together made him whole.” She sidled a guilty look to Zoann. “That’s why I’m in town. Cash is in Houston at Jocelyn’s. His mom,” she added. “She called me asking what was wrong with him. He’s been drinking. A lot. So much that Jocelyn called our dad to talk to him, since Josh is still with us. Cash has to be bad off if she’s calling Dad for help. I wanted to check on you and Stretch as soon as I could, Fee. With a week off in the band’s schedule, here I am. I’m sorry, Zoann. I didn’t mean to deceive you but…I didn’t know who knew, so when you said you were coming here…” Her voice trailed off.
“I understand. I would do the same thing,” Zoann said with reassurance. She smiled at Georgie. “Thank you for caring enough about Fee to come to her.”
“I wanted us to have what we had in Missouri,” Fee whispered into the descending silence. Hearing about Cash’s state didn’t help her frame of wind. She wanted to round up Stretch, hop on the first plane and go to him. But then she’d fall back into a secret relationship and she couldn’t abide that.
“I understand your point, Fee,” Zoann said, “but that might never be possible.”
“Yeah, my brother’s as big a manwhore as Sloane once was and that hurts. A lot. I understand why Outlaw wouldn’t want you to feel that type of pain.”
“Isn’t it my choice?”
“Of course,” Georgie agreed, at ease with amusing Ryder and engaging in the conversation. “Cash is complicated. He has a long history with Stretch and loves him, but he loves you too, otherwise he wouldn’t have left both of you.”
Instead of settling Fee, Georgie’s words made her feel worse. Stretch had been caught in the crosshairs of her decision. That wasn’t fair at all. As Georgie pointed out, they had a history. Stretch had already lost a lot. To lose Cash, too, when he loved him so much.
“Follow your heart, Fee,” Georgie told her. “In the end, the decision is yours.”
“Yes, baby, if in your heart, your relationship must be acknowledged, then stick to your guns.”
“Nothing is too great to overcome as long as true love is involved,” Georgie said. She should know after all that she and Sloane had endured to find their happiness.
“Just hang in there,” Zoann said with conviction. “If Cash and Stretch are for you, you’ll get them.”
Fee intended to hang onto those words, bide her time, and wait.
The banging on the door pulled Cash from a drunken stupor. Gazing around, he couldn’t quite recall his location, until he saw the photograph of his high school graduation. He was in Houston, at his mother’s house.
The knocking came again.
“Come in,” he slurred, closing his eyes and not bothering to lift himself from bed. He left his room once a day. For breakfast. Otherwise, his mother would have his ass for not having the manners to come down to tell her good morning.
The scent of a woman’s perfume filtered through the fumes of bourbon escaping his pores. He lifted one eye, to see a gorgeous blonde looking at him with trepidation. Abby Mason, Sloane’s sister.
Or aunt. Or some fucked up shit that Cash couldn’t remember at the moment.
“What?”
She smiled but sadness glinted in her eyes. “Definitely related to Parnell.”
“Don’t fucking remind me. You’re the one who has willingly tied herself to him.”
“As his mistress, Cash. He won’t marry me.”
“This is your chance to run far the fuck away from that motherfucker.”
Glancing around, she relaxed a fraction when she saw the rocking chair. By the standards in which he’d grown up, his room wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either.
“Never would’ve thought you’d have a rocking chair in your room,” she told him, pulling it near his bed.
“Dad would let Georgie come over sometimes,” he admitted. “I’d rock her to sleep on those rare occasions.”
“Perhaps, Cassandra prevented him from sending her more often.”
“Perhaps.” Cash didn’t care to hear about Georgie’s mother either. “What are you doing here, Abby?”
“Your dad sent me.” The announcement seemed to embarrass her. “He’s out of town.”
“So?”
She crossed her long legs, tanned and shapely. She wore white shorts, flip-flops, and a cami. His father was a lucky motherfucker to have a beautiful woman at his side who’d do his bidding. Cash’s beautiful woman had left him in the fucking dust.
“Jocelyn telephoned him. She’s quite concerned about you.”
“My mom called Parnell McCall?” She’d just as soon cut his balls off and feed them to pigs.
“Yes.”
The room spinning, he stared at the ceiling. “Dad sent you with a message?”
“He asked me to visit you on his behalf.”
“You’ve done it. Now, leave.”
The rocking chair squeaked. A moment later, Cash’s bed dipped and he opened his eyes to find Abby sitting on the edge next to him.
“For a long time I held myself responsible for Cassandra’s death,” she admitted.
“You were responsible.” He only gave a fuck because Georgie had been devastated. “We’ve cleared that up, so go.”
Silence. Not a peep, though Cash knew she remained. He glanced in her direction and found her pale. She lifted her chin.
“I’m not here to rehash that.”
“You brought it up, princess, not me. Take your fucking blinders off. My father will never marry you. Josh despises you.”
She stood. “I get that you’re upset about your breakup,” she said tightly, “but I didn’t come here for your verbal abuse. I came as a favor to your dad because I love him.”
“He loves him, too, so good fucking luck.”
“Cash McCall,” Jocelyn said with disapproval, standing somewhere behind Abby. “Don’t you dare treat a woman with such disrespect. It isn’t her fault you’re taking a break from the people you love.”
Cash lifted his head as his mother halted next to Abby. His father liked tall women. Why Georgie was so damn short, he couldn’t begin to understand. Of course, Helen Sanderson, Georgie’s maternal grandmother, was a short, old witch, perfect size to ride her fucking broom.
“Mom, we’re over. It isn’t a break. Fee wants what I can’t give to her.”
“What does Stretch want, son?” she asked, her eyes filled with understanding.
“God, I don’t know. What does it matter? I can’t…Fuck, Mom! I’m the sonofabitch. Okay? The aimless motherfucker who amused himself with two innocent people.”
Stretch’s words still burned in his brain. He’d been so right, too.
“His mother’s a bible-thumping cunt, but she’d say I was throwing stones and living in a glass house.”
“Cash, enough with the cussing and name calling,” his mother chastised. “This isn’t you.”
“This is exactly me, Mother,” he snapped, then rested his aching head on his pillow again. “They loved me anyway. I could be me. They’ve seen the worst of me and didn’t care.” Fuck this. He didn’t need to have his heart trampled again by rehashing this. He’d just remember them.
He swayed to a sitting position. “I’m going out.”
“You’re in no condition to go anywhere. Least of all on your bike.”<
br />
“That isn’t my bike,” he gritted. “My cycle’s hundreds of miles away, right the fuck where I left it.”
“You’re leaving your club?”
He squinted at the question. Was he? Would not seeing Stretch help him? Would not hearing tidbits here and there about Fee aid his recovery? Or would he become worse?
“If you are, you need your bike. Even when you were Nomad, you had your cycle.”
At his mother’s words, he transferred his squint to her. “What do you know about that, Mom?”
She shrugged. “Only what my son told me,” she answered. “You see, I’ve seen him in his good times and at his worst times, and I’ve never stopped loving him. I’ve never given up on him. I never thought I’d live to see the day where he gave up on himself.” She nodded to Abby. “He’s so overwhelmed he hurt someone who was just trying to help me when his own father is as neglectful as ever.”
Abby deserved better than his assholery. Ashamed, he thrust his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he told her, wishing he could call Fee and tell her the same thing. But she’d want…Why couldn’t she understand Cash’s point-of-view?
Outlaw aside, a fucking relationship—a real, true, loving relationship—was new to him.
“She wants kids,” he said, his thoughts whirling from one subject to the next. “I’m still in charge of the Bobs.” He belched. “If new girls come in, they have to suck my dick so I can make sure they know how to do it.”
His mother turned beet red. “Who are Bobs?”
“Club ass.”
Abby snorted, attempting to hide her laughter. If he remembered from her time at the club when Georgie had come to get Bryn, Abby was down-to-earth and fun-loving. That made his earlier behavior all the more reprehensible. But she seemed a little defeated, even before he’d turned into King Asshole. He bet his father had something to do with it.
“The choice is yours,” his mom told him. “You can have your Bobs and your cycles and whatever, but if you aren’t willing to sacrifice and compromise, you can’t have Ophelia and Stretch.”
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 335
