“Yeah? Then why the fuck you killed his kid?” He raised his hands before she commented. Denial or confirmation, Christopher didn’t fucking care. “I already fuckin’ know the truth, Kendall, so shut the fuck up. Cash got the fucker who sold you the fuckin’ pills. The conversation between them recorded. I already fucked the motherfucker up and buried him for helpin’ you destroy my brother child. You that fuckin’ pissed at Johnnie, you shoulda took it out on him, not fucked up a innocent baby. What the fuck wrong with you? How the fuck could you do that? You lost one fuckin’ kid.”
“Baby Biker,” she reminded him. “A baby Johnnie wanted. I’d always intended to abort it, so it wasn’t meant to be born. You see the difference between me and Meggie? She went on and fucking on about Patrick. She took it too far. That baby was gone and she couldn’t get it back.”
Christopher released a sound of fury and rushed toward her. Seeing him coming, Kendall scrambled out of her seat. When that didn’t deter him, she darted around him, but he grabbed her hair and yanked her back. “Listen up, Kendall,” he whispered, close to her ear. “I fuckin’ left my nine in my saddlebag but I still got fuckin’ hands, like you said. They still got knives in this motherfucker. You wanna fuckin’ live, don’t bring up Patrick again. The difference between you and Megan is she got a fuckin’ heart. Before she hurt my kid, she’d risk her own life. Johnnie sent you away to save your fuckin’ life. Cuz, lemme tell you. I wanna kill you so fuckin’ bad. I fuckin’ despise you. You fuck with me cuz you want me to take pussy from you.” He shook her, unmoved by the hot tears sliding against his hand. “Ain’t ever fuckin’ happenin’. I don’t wanna fuck you. I ain’t ever wanted to fuck you. I want Johnnie fuckin’ happy. That’s it. I’m here to bring your ass back with the stipulation that if you ever fuckin’ look at my girl wrong, I’ma let Johnnie know you killed his kid. That let me off the fuckin’ hook. I ain’t gotta fuckin’ kill you. If he didn’t fuckin’ do it himself, he’d fuckin’ divorce you.”
“You’d tell Johnnie about my abortion?” she sobbed in a low tone.
“A spouse for a fuckin’ spouse. I want Johnnie happy, but if his happiness depend on Megan well-being, guess who the fuck gonna lose? Every fuckin’ time you think about fuckin’ with Megan, remember your fuckin’ man. Don’t fuckin’ even fuckin’ think about openin’ your fuckin’ mouth to Megan about Dinah or Traveler. Hear me?”
“A little while ago you wanted to send me away. You didn’t come here to bring me back.”
“Wishful fuckin’ thinkin’ I came the fuck up with on the fuckin’ fly,” he admitted. “Now, fuckin’ tell me you understand what the fuck I’m askin’ of you.”
“I understand. I’ll never say anything to Meggie about anything that I’m not supposed to. Now, let go of me and I’ll explain myself to you.”
He released her, then shook his head. “I ain’t interested in nothin’ you gotta say.”
Sniffling, she dissolved into tears, leaning against his chest, fucking determined that he touch her. “Back the fuck up.”
Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry!” she wailed. “I was so angry about my job. Then Roxy just deserted me. Meggie refused to stand up for women by siding with me. To top it all off, Johnnie sent me away. He could’ve challenged you to…to…a duel or something.”
Christopher grabbed her shoulders and shook her, hoping to pull her back the fuck out of psycho land. A duel? That shit said it all. “First off? This ain’t the OK Corral or old England or France. You fuckin’ livin’ in a fuckin’ fantasy. Second, Roxy ain’t deserted you.” He wasn’t about to tell her about Roxy’s cancer. He’d let Johnnie deal with that reaction. “Third, how the fuck my girl not tellin’ me to let you get your job back not standin’ the fuck up for women? That woulda had nothin’ to do with whatever the fuck other girls facin’. And, fuckin’ finally, Johnnie fuckin’ love you. For the thousandth goddamn time. But lemme be clear. He ain’t ever winnin’ against me and neither will you. Stop fuckin’ fightin’ me, Kendall. All it do is bring death and destruction and misery. Mainly, your fuckin’ own.”
“Kyler’s dead. Charlotte’s house is burned down. Brooks has no office. That’s more than just my misery.”
“Yeah, but you fuckin’ caused all of it. Cuz you one stubborn cunt.” She’d also caused an almost unresolvable wedge between him and Fee. He had to let by-fucking-gones be by-fucking-gones. However… “Johnnie just stuck in one place. He gotta move forward with his life. So, again, I wanna take you to him. You stick to my terms, things gonna be fine.”
“What about you and me making love? I swear I won’t tell anybody.”
Jesus, Mary, and all that was fucking holy. “I’m not fuckin’ you,” he roared, then decided on a different tact. Out of fucking choices, he’d opt to reason with her. Now who the fuck was the pyscho cunt? Him. Unreasonable bitches couldn’t fucking be reasoned with. He pointed to the chair. “Sit the fuck down,” he ordered, stalking to the sofa.
She smiled at him and complied, not in the least ashamed that her slightly parted legs revealed her shaved cunt. His glare deepened her smile. “Why you want us to fuck? You really attracted to me or you just want in my bed cuz of Megan? Do you even fuckin’ know?”
A bitter stare replaced her satisfaction. “I fucking hate you,” she snarled. “But I can’t seem to not want sex with you, as much as I fucking try. I finger my pussy thinking of you.”
As those images assaulted him, he frowned and thrust his fingers through his hair.
“The more you fucking best me, the more I want you. You’re the only one I’ve ever met who I can’t crack. Eventually, any other man, every other man, gives in to me. I get them where I want them. Not you. How you can outwit me is something I don’t understand. Even Johnnie softens when I cry. I find a way to get him to back off and give me what I want. Why won’t you give in to me? What does Meggie have that she has a man like you wrapped around her fucking finger? Do you know how frustrating that is?”
“In other words, you play Johnnie.” Christopher refused to address her other craziness.
Her lower lip trembled. “No, I don’t play him. I gentle him down. He can be so frightening when he wants to be and…and if I don’t get him to ease off, I’ll lose him. I love him and, other than my children, he’s all I have.”
Christopher cocked his head to the side. “You really love him or is it just fuckin’ need?”
“I love him. I swear. Leaving him, months ago, made me realize just how much. For the first time, I was strong and without a man, on my own two feet. I didn’t need him and I could rely on myself. My job gave me that independence. I missed him so much.” Sniffling, she bowed her head. “I missed you, too.”
Just listening to her felt like a betrayal to Johnnie. Christopher couldn’t understand how she professed to love Johnnie, yet still want him.
“I don’t know why,” she managed. “God knows, I hate you. You’re uncouth. Ignorant. Perverted. Uneducated. Violent. Psychopathic. Oversexed. Chauvinistic. Just a general fucking asshole.”
“You through yet?”
“You have no counterattack?” she asked in surprise. “No insults to hurl my way?”
“Nope. Cuz, after today, I ain’t talkin’ to you a-fuckin-gain. It worked out fuckin’ well for me before. Why fuck with success? The less I talk to you, the less a chance I have of fuckin’ you up.”
“You haven’t fucked me up right now,” she said softly.
“Don’t fuckin’ tempt me,” he grumbled.
She pursed her lips. “So what now?” she asked after a moment of silence.
“Now you get some fuckin’ clothes on and we head back to the club.”
“What does Meggie have that I don’t? Whatever else is wrong between me and Johnnie, we always have sex. I know how to please a man.”
Christopher would never be able to get through to Kendall about the two of them fucking. Never. Ever. She’d always carry a sick fascination for him. “Ke
ndall, fuck, you fuckin’ think I’m the lowest, stupidest motherfucker a-fuckin-live. You got a good motherfucker. Johnnie educated like you. He like that preppy bullshit you like. He listen to fucking opera for you. I ain’t a motherfucker you wanna fuck around with, so why the fuck you still talkin’ about us fuckin’?”
“You’re all of that,” she grouched, throwing him the evil eye. “But you’re also charismatic and sexy and the way you’re with Meggie…you’d kill your children if it meant saving her. You worship her.”
“She worship me right back,” he told her. “All the shit you crucify my ass for don’t fuckin’ matter to Megan. Two things she ask me for. Two. Fidelity and not abusing her. The first one? Even when she had evidence, she believed in me. You and Johnnie ain’t got that. You want him to be a motherfucker he not. You so busy focusin’ on Megan, you fuckin’ lost yourself. Fuck all drivin’ you looped outta your fuckin’ head but my girl. She the catalyst for all your fuckin’ crazy bullshit. That don’t mean you depressed. That mean you stone fuckin’ obsessed. Stop competin’ with my wife. Let your man be himself. Believe that the motherfucker got what’s best for you in mind. Always and forever. Cuz he fuckin’ do.”
“Are you going to tell Meggie?”
“That you asked me to fuck you?”
She nodded.
“What the fuck you think?” Of course he would.
“Okay,” she whispered miserably. “She won’t easily forgive me. She’s so different with me since you were kidnapped.”
“I wonder fuckin’ why,” he said sarcastically. “Any-fuckin-way, do it matter if Megan forgive you. You fuckin’ hate her.”
“That’s the same thing Fee said. I don’t hate Meggie. I resent her terribly. Her easy friendship with Johnnie and how she is with you. She has all the power and control. With one word, she can order you to kill someone or save their lives. Her.”
“That ain’t always the case.”
“Most of the time it is. If she decides she doesn’t want me there, I’ll have to go.”
“Megan not gonna do that, though in reverse, you would.”
“Yes,” she admitted. “If I had the power that she does, I’d exercise it. What good is power if you don’t know you have it? Or if you don’t know what to do with it?”
“That’s cuz you a fuckin’ oligarch.”
Her eyes widened. “You know what the means?”
“Fuck off.”
“Johnnie told me you got inappropriate confused with misappropriate. How the hell do you know what an oligarch is?”
“If John Boy shut the fuck up to your fuckin’ ass, some of this shit might be avoided. You wouldna fuckin’ had ammunition to fuck with Megan.” Fuck, Megan had been through enough with Daphne. Their marriage had been through enough. If he told Megan about Kendall, she’d be hurt and angry. Therefore… “You wantin’ pussy from me stayin’ between me and you. This time. Do it a-fuckin-gain and I’ma tell Megan and Johnnie.”
“Thank you for not mentioning this.”
“Ain’t doin’ it for you. Now, back to the fuckin’ topic. Know why Megan so powerful? Cuz she know how to wield it. She use it wisely and with fairness. That’s why she has it and that’s why she keep it.”
“Of course. She’s perfect. An angel.”
“No motherfucker perfect. Megan spoiled as fuck and she got a fucked up temper. She like to throw shit but that make her human. She ain’t a fuckin’ puppet.”
“What am I supposed to do when I get back to the club?”
“Whatever the fuck you wanna do. Once you back with John Boy, and as long as you stick to our agreement, I’ma leave you the fuck alone.”
“I can’t be just a housewife. How would it look, after I stayed on Meggie to have her own money, if I ended up being just like her?”
“Not a motherfucker would give a fuck. We too busy livin’ our own fuckin’ lives. Lemme ask you. What the fuck you been doin’ here?”
“What is there to do? I cook for Johnnie and the kids. He’d come alone so we can make love and intended to do it again, although with the miscarriage...” Her voice trailed off at his glare and she huffed. “I read and walk outside. Listen to music.”
“The point is you fuckin’ survivin’. Even if you never get another fuckin’ job, you got shit to do.”
“Why are you bein’ so nice to me, if you don’t want to sleep with me?”
“Mort and Digger nice to you and they don’t want pussy from you.”
“Mort did when we first met, but, knowing Johnnie liked me, he backed off.”
The fact that Mort had been attracted to her appeased her inner narcissist.
“Digger has always taken a protective role toward me. That leaves you.”
“Ain’t got fuck-all for you. Cuz you ain’t gettin’ from me what the fuck you want. I ain’t lyin’ and sayin’ I ever wanted to fuck you and I ain’t fuckin’ you. How many different fuckin’ languages my ass need to learn so I can finally make you fuckin’ understand? English ain’t fuckin’ cuttin’ it.”
She burst into tears, her loud cries irritating the fuck out of him. “Shut the fuck up, Kendall,” he ordered roughly, scowling at her. “Your fuckin’ sobs don’t mean shit to me. Cry a fuckin’ river and I ain’t givin’ a fuck.”
Just like that, she stopped and swiped her wet cheeks. “You asshole.”
“Get dressed,” he said for what felt like the fiftieth fucking time. “My ass ready to ride out.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Tough fuckin’ shit. You comin’ with me now or you waitin’ ‘til later when Johnnie get here. Ain’t gonna be a surprise but the end fuckin’ result will still be your ass back at the club.”
“I want to ride back with you.”
Despite knowing he’d never fucking like her, he couldn’t help but laugh at her eagerness. “I bet the fuck you do.”
But, later, when he led Kendall back into the clubhouse and Johnnie saw her, Christopher knew he’d done the right thing.
“Kendall?” Johnnie whispered, looking in disbelief from her to Christopher.
“Hi Johnnie,” she whispered.
“Fuck, gorgeous, you’re here.” He lifted her off her feet and hugged her tightly, swinging her around. When he set her on her feet, he gazed at Christopher. “Things are okay?”
It didn’t even bother him that Christopher had gone to her without his knowledge. Kendall needed to take note of that and realize how much Johnnie trusted her.
“Me and Kendall settled up shit between us,” he said. “You been so fuckin’ sad, I thought havin’ your bitch back might cheer you up.”
“I’m fucking indebted to you,” Johnnie told him. “You’re putting aside your differences on my behalf.”
“As long as she behave.” Christopher wanted to be absolutely clear. “If she fuck with Megan again, threaten to tell any bullshit I ain’t wantin’ Megan to know, all bets off.”
“I know,” Johnnie said, only relief showing in his face. “But after Kendall lost our baby, I think she realized how out-of-hand the entire situation had gotten. She wants to make amends.”
She had no fucking choice, if she wanted Johnnie to be kept in the dark. “I think she finally under-fuckin-stand the situation, too,” Christopher said. “I still ain’t gonna talk to the bitch and I still don’t like her ass, but she your woman so she needed to be back.”
Johnnie smiled at Kendall. “See, sweetheart? Family is everything.”
Blinking back tears, Kendall nodded. “I’ve been so sad about the baby, Johnnie,” she whimpered.
“I know,” he soothed. “I have too.”
“Can we try for another one? I’ll stay in bed and not move for the entire pregnancy. It just hurts so bad and I need to find a way to ease my pain.”
“We’ll talk to your doctor,” Johnnie promised, kissing her tenderly and cupping her chin. “Just don’t stress yourself out. Even if we never have another child, we have Rory and Matilda.”
“But I l
ost our Baby Biker and now this baby. I feel s-so awful.”
He hugged her. “Shh. You survived both times and that’s what matters. We’ll always mourn our lost kids.”
“Meggie only lost one baby. I can’t see how she survived. Losing two is ten times worse.”
Christopher’s fucking cue to get the fuck out of there. “Later, John Boy,” he called, heading to the door, knowing Kendall would always be a lying manipulator. If her bullshit made Johnnie happy, then Christopher was fucking ecstatic.
As the teetotaler in the group, Meggie volunteered to be the designated driver for Bunny’s bachelorette party, a week after Kendall’s return. She’d wanted to be a part of the wedding and had met with Bunny, but Fee didn’t know the outcome. Fee was happy that her weekend would be filled with acitivities, with both Cash and Stretch out of town.
They’d gone in different directions—Cash to Houston and Stretch to New York—but they’d both invited her, going so far to suggest they rendezvous in one city or the next. Fee declined, deciding she’d enjoy herself with her family after making up with both her brother and sister, and let the guys do whatever. If they wanted to meet up, that was fine with her, especially after the way they’d been enjoying each other’s bodies. She knew she had a place in their lives, and always would.
Now, as Meggie halted Bailey’s Escalade outside of a Portland strip club, she frowned. “This is where you had me change the venue to, Kendall?”
“Says the girl who has us in jean shorts, skull caps, motorcycle boots, and tank tops that says Bride’s Bitches. Real fucking classy.”
Zoann handed Kendall a glass of jungle juice that Meggie made for the ride over. “Drink this, Kendall, and enjoy yourself. You’re back. You’re alive. We’ve put all the bullshit behind us. Be happy.”
“Kendall, if we go into a strip club, Christopher will hunt these men down and kill them.”
Instead of responding to Meggie, Kendall gulped half the contents of her glass first. “Why the fuck would you tell him?”
“He’ll ask me, and I’m not going to lie to him.”
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 364
