Val leaned in, almost nose-to-nose. “The fucking marker Gabe was using for the stencil.”
“No, he was using a needle.”
“No, I was using that marker,” Gabe told him.
Blinking, Knox swallowed. “I don’t like needles,” he confessed.
“Oh, no shit,” Val answered, tossing the marker back to Gabe and returning to his seat.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Gabe questioned, studying Knox with concern. “If you do, you have to sit still.”
He was doing this for Roxanne, he reminded himself. She was worth it. He nodded.
“Okay, this is what I’m going to do. Create the stencil for your chest piece, then do the linework. We’ll schedule more sessions for the coloring and your arm. Does that sound good?”
“Yes,” Knox responded, willing himself to relax once Gabe started the stenciling again. It was almost impossible, though, because all Knox imagined was that needle.
Passion led to strange decisions, though, and hopefully, this would help to win back Roxanne’s love for him.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Afraid to move and sobbing, Kendall drew her knees to her chest, cowering in the corner of her bedroom.
Imagining eyes glaring at her from everywhere, watching her, following her every step. She couldn’t prove it, but instinct warned her of dire danger. Roxy called her every day, but even she sounded different, withdrawn and distant.
Kendall hadn’t heard from Meggie. Usually, after a day or two, she’d call offering an olive branch. And Johnnie—
Tears burst from Kendall. She wanted Johnnie. She needed him. He’d protect her. Since the evening they’d met, he’d put her first in his life. He had to rescue her now. Outlaw was coming. Kendall knew it, and it terrified her.
Earlier today, she’d picked up her business cards from the printer. The words, Kendall Donovan, Attorney-at-Law, shimmered in gold. But the satisfaction she thought she’d feel at finally reclaiming her career, had yet to set in.
Loneliness, fear, and emptiness squeezed out every other emotion and all of her peace-of-mind.
All the times she’d berated Meggie came to Kendall. The younger woman had a man who loved her without condition, who she loved just as much. She wasn’t mean, selfish, and spiteful. She didn’t step on anyone in her path to get her way.
No wonder Johnnie had loved her. No wonder he’d turned against Kendall.
She had no one. Charlotte would tell her she was better off without “those people”. Once upon a time, Kendall had believed Roxy would come running. Since the fight, though, the woman Kendall wished had been her mother had changed.
Resting her head on her knees, she prayed for death. She was broken, lost. Even when she tried to do the right thing, she failed.
Tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t do this anymore. Dr. Briscow had sworn, once the medicines set in, she’d start to feel better. As long as she’d had Johnnie and Meggie and Roxy and everyone, she’d had a reason to fight. Despite her attitude, they’d considered her family. That’s all Kendall had ever wanted.
Rubbing the back of her hand against her runny nose, she decided she’d had enough. Her mother and sister had the right idea. Life was hard, not for the weak and self-pitying, and she was both.
She sobbed for all that she’d dreamed of as a child, when her father had still been alive, and all that she’d lost in the intervening years. She’d always told herself she’d be a much better mother than her own had been to her. It turned out she was worse.
Trembling and nauseated, she crawled to where she’d dropped her phone on the floor when she’d come into her room, and heard a click. Or saw a flash. Or…something not quite right.
Wanting to hear Johnnie’s voice one, last time, she picked up her cell phone and speed dialed his number. She Face-Timed Rory, Matilda, and JJ once a day. Johnnie told her he wouldn’t allow her more time with them. Her kids were getting so big, and seemed to be thriving and happy, not missing her at all.
Had she really been that horrible?
“What, Kendall?”
Sniffling at Johnnie’s unfriendly greeting, Kendall gripped the phone. “Johnnie, come and get me. Please,” she sobbed. “I’ll behave. I’m so scared. Let me come home.”
Johnnie huffed out a breath. “No.”
“But—”
“You’re not welcomed on club grounds anymore. No one wants you here.”
“Can you come to me then?”
“No,” he said after a moment. “I’m done with your fucking games. This is just another ploy of yours.”
“It’s not! I swear.”
The line went dead.
Breaking into sobs, Kendall curled on the floor, feeling as if her entire world had crashed around her.
Hearing that Roxanne would be coming in today to cook, since Ophelia had a previous engagement, Knox had hung around the clubhouse. If Roxanne showed up, it would give him another opportunity to use her pretense of them still being a couple. Outlaw and Mortician had returned from wherever they’d gone to, last night, not long after Knox had gotten back from the tattoo shop.
Mortician had been cordial but hadn’t inquired about Gabe’s work or even if Knox had made the appointment. Outlaw had been in the clubhouse and out so quickly, Knox hadn’t had a chance to say anything to him. He was in a hurry to get back to Megan.
Today, Knox’s decision not to leave the clubhouse, had been in vain. Roxanne hadn’t come in. In fact, it had been Megan for both breakfast and dinner. Frustrated and annoyed, Knox had gone back to his room and decided to do surveillance on Kendall. With everything going on, that task had gotten lost in the shuffle.
Most of the day had gone by without much fanfare. Then, in late evening, Knox had gotten an alert, so he’d picked up his tablet in time to see Kendall in a meltdown. It was so horrifying that he’d felt sorry for her, especially when he considered how upset Roxanne would be if she’d seen one of her babies in such a condition.
Because Megan was on premises, cooking and serving dinner, Outlaw was in his office. Grabbing his tablet, Knox rushed down the hallway and pushed into Outlaw’s office, without bothering to knock.
“I think we need to back off Kendall.” He shoved the tablet in front of Outlaw.
“I ain’t payin’ you to think.”
Kendall had just gotten off the telephone with Johnnie. Knox hated to leave the live feed, fearing what she might do to herself, but he had to reason with Outlaw.
“Look at this.”
Outlaw glared at him.
“Please,” Knox added, tired, weary, and desperate. “Roxanne will never forgive me if she knows I’m party to Kendall’s destruction. The woman is falling to pieces.”
Scowling, Outlaw snatched the tablet out of Knox’s hand and replayed the footage from the last half hour. Once he finished, he sat the tablet in front of him and blew out a heavy breath.
“She stumbled into a fucking corner and rocked herself back and forth.” Watching as it happened in real time had upset Knox. His heart had sunk. “She looks haggard and harried. She knows she’s being watched.”
A muscle ticked in Outlaw’s jaw.
“This is Johnnie’s wife!”
“And Megan and CJ tormentor,” Outlaw snapped.
“Don’t you feel sorry for her?”
Outlaw glanced at the dark screen on the tablet, then raised a hard, green gaze to Knox. “No.”
“How can you be so cold?”
“Call me what the fuck you want. You think I give a fuck about her state? How many times that bitch been in control and ain’t gave a good fuck about who the fuck she steamrolled?”
“But—”
“Fuck Kendall, Knox. She gettin’ what the fuck she deserve. She shoulda fuckin’ thought what the fuck might happen to her be-fuckin-fore she got Megan kidnapped and tried to punch CJ.”
“You’re gaslighting her.”
“I’d like to pour fuckin’ gas on her and light a goddamn
match.” Outlaw glared at him. “If you want off the case, cuz of Roxanne, then fuckin’ quit.”
He made it sound so easy, but Knox knew better than to trust that simple statement.
“Will there be ramifications for me?” he demanded.
“Ain’t givin’ you the rest of your fuckin’ money. Other than that shit, nope.”
He released a pent-up breath, relief flowing through him. “I’ll collect the surveillance equipment the next time she’s out.”
“The fuck you will. My money paid for that. It fuckin’s stay. Just a lil’ more and Kendall fuckin’ herself up.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re heartless.”
A glimmer of regret…?...hesitation…?...sadness…? passed over Outlaw’s features before he schooled his face into unconcern. He shrugged.
Defeated, Knox took his tablet and returned to his room, his heart heavy.
Outlaw meant to see Kendall dead, and nothing was going to stop him.
Opening the door to Kendall’s house, Johnnie stopped in the entry hall, frowning at the silence. When she called, he’d been at the club, debating on what to do about Emily. Since the scene in her house, she’d called and texted, begging his forgiveness, swearing her regret ran deep over her behavior towards Kendall. He was on the verge of giving in and inviting Emily out to dinner. Christopher swore he didn’t have anything to do with Johnnie and Emily meeting.
While a little voice warned him that Christopher might be a lying motherfucker, Johnnie ignored it. In her tearful calls, Emily sounded sincere, too. Although her behavior had affected Kendall’s outlook greatly, Emily seemed so far removed from the petty little girl she’d been. She’d pointed out everyone deserved a second chance.
That had hit him right in his gut. He’d always held to that mantra with Kendall, whom he’d given more than just two chances.
In the midst of his internal debate over Emily, Kendall had called. Johnnie had begged for her life to Christopher, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t fed up with her lies and manipulations. He wanted peace and happiness. He wanted a family.
He wanted a woman who loved and respected him.
While the jury was still out on whether or not Kendall had ever loved him, he sure the fuck knew she didn’t respect him. Therefore, hearing her sobbing self-pity had annoyed him. He’d been determined to brush her off and let the chips fall where they may. He’d chosen to pursue Emily and leave Kendall to her misery.
A minute after he’d disconnected her call, Johnnie had hurried out to see about her, taking his Harley, since he’d get to her place faster.
Now, he’d arrived and saw no sign of her. Her Navigator was in the driveway, though that didn’t guarantee she was home.
He walked through each room downstairs, frowning at the darkness, stopping here and there to turn lamps on.
She’d gotten him again. Made a fucking ass out of him. That call had probably been a test of his love and loyalty. Fury spread through him. Before he called and blasted her, he bounded up the stairs, two at a time, heading straight for her bedroom.
He saw her the moment he walked through the door. She lay in the middle of the floor, trembling.
His anger fleeing, he ran to her, dropped next to her and gathered her in his arms. He registered she was fully clothed, but her skin was red and splotchy, warm to the touch.
“Kendall, sweetheart,” he whispered, threading his fingers through her sweaty hair. “Have you taken anything?”
She hiccupped, then lifted her head, staring at him. Her eyes were swollen with tears.
“Johnnie,” she said, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing against him. “He’s watching me.”
“Who’s watching you?”
“Outlaw!”
“Kendall—”
“He’s going to kill me, Johnnie.” The words came out in a hysterical rush. “He’s watching me and waiting for the perfect time.” She hugged him again. “Please don’t let him kill me.”
Johnnie wrapped his arms around her. “Why do you think he’s watching you? What makes you think he intends to kill you?”
“Because I deserve it. I’ve done so much. And…and I know he’s watching me. Sometimes, I see flashing lights and hear beeps.”
“Kendall, listen to me. Christopher doesn’t have time for those types of games.”
Anger flared in her red-rimmed eyes. Without warning, she slapped him so hard across the face that he reeled back. His nose hadn’t completely healed, and pain reverberated through his head. Out of reflex, Johnnie shoved her away and jumped to his feet.
“First you abandon me, now you don’t believe me,” Kendall snarled, balling her fist and swinging again.
Expecting her to lash out again, Johnnie caught her hand. “Can you fucking blame me?” he growled, grabbing her other hand when she swung. “You’re a goddamn liar.”
She kicked his shin.
Beyond the point of reasoning, Johnnie yelped in pain, then dragged Kendall to the bed and threw her over his knee. “If you want to act like a spoiled fucking child, I’ll treat you like one.”
Shoving her skirt above her waist, he slapped against her backside. She wore thongs; his handprint showed immediately on her skin.
“You’re a motherfucker!” she screamed, squirming.
He tightened his hold on her and spanked her ass again. “I don’t give a fuck. You’re a self-pitying, manipulative, selfish, vengeful, ungrateful bitch!” He punctuated each word with a slap, ignoring her flailing legs, yelled insults, and brutal punches to his thigh.
The scent of her desire rose up, stirring Johnnie’s cock. He paused his hand, caressed her flaming backside, and released her. Unprepared, Kendall rolled to the floor.
“Asshole!” she hissed.
Johnnie stood, stepped away from her, and thrust his fingers through his hair. “What are we doing, Kendall?”
She stared at his growing erection, panting from exertion.
“You mean what are you doing?” she spat. “I’m waiting to come home. You’re the stupid motherfucker who refuses to defend me and let us be a family again.”
Growling, Johnnie started for her. Kendall scrambled to her feet and jumped onto the bed, wariness creeping into her eyes.
“Don’t put the future of our marriage entirely on my shoulders. The only thing I’ve ever done is love you.”
“Liar! You don’t love me anymore.” She sniffled.
“Shut the fuck up, Kendall, and dry your goddamn tears. They don’t impress me.” They did, or else he wouldn’t have rushed over, but she was in shock from his spanking and harsh words.
“I hate you!”
He laughed coldly. “We both know that’s another one of your goddamn lies. If you fucking hated me, you wouldn’t have called me to come to you.”
Her lower lip trembled. “You’re so mean. You hate me,” she accused, changing tactics.
“I don’t hate you,” he snapped. “I love you.”
She lifted her chin, empowered by his revelation. “Then prove it. Take me back.”
“Fuck off. I’m not proving a goddamn thing to you ever again. If you don’t believe how I feel about you after all this time, that’s your problem, not mine. The fact that I’m here right now should mean something to you.”
Picking up a pillow, she threw it at him. “Why are you treating me like this? I love you so much. I miss you and our kids. I’m so afraid here. Outlaw is going to kill me.”
“If you hadn’t been into every fucking thing you had no business sticking your nose into, you’d have nothing to fear!” He wouldn’t express his own concerns about Christopher’s intentions. She seemed truly terrified. Then, again, Kendall was Kendall. She had games for days. “How can we stay married when I don’t trust you? Even now, when I see your terror, I feel manipulated.”
“My fear is real.” She sounded so pitiful. Her brown eyes begged him for peace and comfort. Sniffling, she looked away. “You spanked me.”
“You slapped me
.”
She fell silent, then gazed at him, lowering her lashes. “My pussy is wet.”
“My cock is hard.”
Satisfaction gleamed in her eyes and she licked her lips.
“I’m not fucking you.”
“I-I…why not?”
“I don’t trust you not to get pregnant. You and I both know you neither need nor want another child.”
“It’s my body, motherfucker. You can’t tell me what to do with it.”
“You’re fucking right, Kendall, but I can and will keep my dick to myself.”
She screamed in pure frustration. “Why are you acting like this?”
“How? Like I have some goddamn self-respect?”
“You don’t love me—”
“Shut the fuck up with that bullshit. I do love you. Very much. Too much.”
“No, please. Don’t say that. I love you, too. So much, Johnnie. I know it doesn’t seem like it but—”
“But you try. Correct?”
She nodded.
“Try harder.”
“Help me. I can’t do this alone.”
He’d always tried to protect Kendall and stand at her side. But she hadn’t gotten any better. As a matter-of-fact, his patience and belief in her, had made her worse. He shook his head. “I can’t, sweetheart. You disregard all my efforts on your behalf. How many times have you lied to me? How many times have I forgiven you and put my trust in you again? Only to have you shit on me. I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve made my own mistakes. Always deferring to Megan. Demanding that you be her friend. I know I’ve played a role in your state-of-mind and I’m sorry. But you don’t follow through on your own well-being. I can set alarms for you to take medicine and get to your appointment on time. I can go with you to your appointments and watch you take your medication, but unless you want to stay better, things will never change. You’ll still be the same self-destructive woman you’ve always been.”
She face-planted on the bed, loud sobs escaping her.
He wanted to turn and leave her to her tantrum but he couldn’t bring himself to walk away from her while she was in such a state. He went to the bed, climbed on, and lifted her into his arms. Settling back against the headboard, he held her close.
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 499
