“Are you jealous?” I asked and looked up at him beneath my eyelashes.
“If he had tried to kiss you, he would have lost a hand,” he whispered as he bent down and kissed me on the lips.
“Jared wouldn’t be too happy about that,” I whispered back, my heart racing as my hormones reacted to him. I didn’t like men who were possessive of women, but as dumb as it made me, I enjoyed knowing he felt so strongly for me and essentially claimed me as his. I blamed it on my pirate upbringing since we were so possessive of our prized jewels or other gifts. The greatest compliment was to have a pirate covet you more than his treasure.
“What wouldn’t Jared be happy about?” Jared asked from behind Finn.
“Removing a man’s hand for trying to kiss me,” I answered.
“Depends on who it was,” Jared said grumpily.
“A Commander,” I answered.
“That would be a predicament,” Jared said. “Are you calmed down?” he asked me.
Finn stepped to the side so that I could see Jared. “Yes.”
“You kill someone?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Riley helped me.”
Jared smiled. “Ah, that’s where the topic of dismemberment came from. Did he try to kiss you?”
“No, Finn’s just being jealous,” I answered. Finn rolled his eyes at me, but didn’t dispute the statement.
“Well, I am glad that he was able to help you,” Jared said. “Are you up to seeing Esmeralda?”
I was about to say yes when my heart started beating faster and sweat slicked my palms. What in the name of the Ocean God was going on with me? Hadn’t Riley fixed me?
“What type of spell does this?” Finn asked Jared softly.
“I’ve heard of people becoming afraid of magic users after being attacked by one, but this is extremely odd,” Jared whispered. “And I have never met someone who Riley hadn’t been able to help.”
“I know she won’t hurt me,” I choked out. “I can’t. Control it.”
“Sit down,” Jared ordered me. I obeyed. He took my hands and when he felt them shaking his eyes widened. “Close your eyes and think about your father’s ship.”
What did Dad’s ship have to do with this? I did as he asked and slowly the shaking stopped.
“Now, picture your Aunt.”
I pictured her face and recalled the way she looked when she laughed and yet my hands began to shake.
“Remember the time that Faxon and she saved you after the bomb that Marquez used,” Jared ordered me.
I recalled the bomb that took my magic from me and how Faxon saved me from the small island I had transported Marquez and myself to. After he found me, Faxon had teleported me back to the castle and he and Esmeralda healed me. I had almost died. If not for them, I would have died.
No matter how hard I tried to think positively about them, I also recalled their terrifying feats and the pain that man had made me endure.
I jerked my hands away from Jared and clutched them to my chest. “I can’t.”
“I was afraid of that,” Jared said with a sigh.
“Can’t they fix it?” Finn asked Jared.
Jared rested his hand on my shoulder and said, “For now we will let Tilia have some space. We are sailing out at first light. What matters is that you are alive and safe. We can deal with everything else later, okay?”
I nodded my head and turned to face the fire so I wouldn’t have to see the sadness in his eyes.
Finn and Jared whispered together outside of my room and then Finn joined me on the floor in front of the fireplace. “Would you like me to stay here tonight?” he asked softly.
I did not want to be alone, but at the same time I did not want to be coddled any longer. I needed to buck up and deal with this somehow. “No, I’ll be okay.”
“Okay, I’m next door so I can be here faster than you can blink if you need me,” he reminded me.
I nodded my head and continued to watch the flames dance along the logs.
“I love you.”
I turned and smiled at him. “I love you too, Finley.”
He brushed his lips across mine and left my room, shutting the door behind him.
Chapter Two
After Finn left, I stopped a crewman walking by and asked him to have Riley come see me. I paced back and forth in my small room as I waited. Finn was right next door so we were going to have to either leave or be very quiet. I didn’t like sneaking around behind Finn’s back, but I had a feeling that he would be too jealous to let me work with Riley.
I opened the door, ready to flag down another person and found Riley with his hand raised, about to knock on the door and a plate of food in his other hand. “You…”
I put my hand over his mouth and put a finger to my lips so he would know to be quiet. I looked right and left down the hallway and pulled him inside my room, shutting and locking it behind him. “It’s not gone,” I whispered to him. “I thought you had fixed me, but when Jared asked me to see Esmeralda, I got scared again.”
“I didn’t say I fixed you, Princess…”
“Call me Tilia.”
“…Tilia, I said I helped you begin to heal. Your brain is what has to finish the healing.”
“How?” I asked in exasperation. “How do I fix this? I don’t want to be afraid of them. I don’t want to not be able to look at them.”
“First, you need to eat.” He held out the plate of food and I realized that I hadn’t cleaned up the food I had dumped on my floor earlier. “You eat and I’ll clean,” he offered.
“No, you don’t need to…”
“I insist,” he interrupted.
I sat on my bed and ate the food on my plate while he picked up my mess. I did not like him cleaning up after me, but it was pointless to argue with him. He seemed as stubborn as Jared. “What am I going to do?” I asked him sadly as I ate.
He finished cleaning and then tossed another log onto the fire. “What happens when you think about them?” he asked and turned to face me.
“I try to picture the nice things they have done or how they look when they are laughing, but I end up picturing them doing terrifying things. I mean, they are things they have done, but right now it’s terrifying to me.”
“Hm, okay.” He sat down on the floor in front of me.
I did not like being higher up than him so I joined him on the floor. I finished the food he had brought and set the plate on the floor next to us. Was it wrong of me to seek out his help? Should I have waited until tomorrow? I didn’t want to spend another day afraid of my family.
“Are you afraid of anyone who has magic? Try picturing someone else you know who has magic,” he suggested.
I pictured Eric and although I felt nervous about him, I wasn’t terrified.
“So, it still bothers you. Well now we know it’s not a spell that makes you dislike a specific person or persons.”
I supposed that was a good thing. I would have hated being scared of Faxon and Esmeralda the rest of my life.
“Are you perhaps afraid that they will do the same thing to you that the other mage did?” he asked me.
I had not thought about that. “I do not specifically think that,” I informed him, “but I suppose it is possible.”
“Do you know who stopped whatever happened to you?” he asked.
“Faxon,” I whispered.
“So, the rest of the night I want you to picture him saving you from the pain that the other mage caused. It could help.”
“Okay.” I was not confident in that idea, but anything was worth a try.
He stood up and asked, “Are you going to be okay by yourself?”
I nodded my head. “Yes. Thank you.”
He bowed and said, “Goodnight, Princess.”
He closed the door behind him as he left and I changed out of my still wet clothes into warm sheep wool lined pajamas. As I snuggled underneath my covers I did as Riley suggested and pictured Faxon saving me from the painful spel
l. My fear grew and decreased constantly and by the time I fell asleep I was exhausted physically and mentally.
Something woke me during the middle of the night. I wasn’t sure what it was until I opened my eyes and saw someone standing in front of my fireplace.
“It is my fault that this happened,” Faxon whispered. He bent down and put a new log in the fireplace, the original fire having died, and used his magic to start it. “Somehow, he knew that you were special to me. Somehow, he knew that hurting you would hurt me. I won’t let that happen again. I won’t let him win by using this spell to push us apart. You mean too much to me.” He spun around and I gasped at his mad expression. “I will kill him for this. I won’t run off to find him, but when we do meet, it will be the day he regrets ever touching you. I promise you, Tilia, he will pay for the pain that he caused you and for making you fear me.”
“Faxon…I…” I could barely talk. My body was shaking in fear and the room suddenly felt very small with him in it with me.
His gaze softened and he knelt on the ground and then bowed until his forehead touched the floor. “Forgive me, for I have failed you once again. All my life I have been so sure of myself and yet, twice now, I have failed to protect you. I do not deserve the title of Arch Mage, nor do I deserve your respect.”
I wanted to tell him to stop being stupid. I wanted to tell him that this was not his fault. I wanted to stop shaking like a leaf in the fall.
“I also beg for your forgiveness for what I am about to do,” he said and stood up.
“What…don’t…” I stammered in fear.
He pinned my arms down with his hands and straddled my body to keep me from moving. “Whether you would hate me for this or not tomorrow, I do not know, but I hope that you understand why. I cannot bear to see you look at me with such fear any longer. Your terror hurts me more than words ever could. Everything will be better when you wake up tomorrow, I promise. Tomorrow, all of this will be as if it had never happened.” He bent forward and kissed my forehead. “I love you.”
I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Something burst within my head and the pain was so intense that I almost threw up. Faxon climbed off of me, standing beside the bed as I gasped for air like a fish out of water. He took the ring he had given me from my finger and whispered, “Memoria.”
My body went rigid and then numbness and darkness enveloped me.
A warm hand stroked my cheek as birds called to each other outside. I opened my eyes and Finn smiled at me. “Good morning.”
I smiled at my handsome pirate and scooted back on the bed so that he could climb on with me. He lay down on his back and I rested my cheek on his chest. “Good morning, Finley.”
“So, how are you feeling today?” he asked me as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“Wonderful. You?”
He leaned back to look at me. “Wonderful?” he asked skeptically.
I nodded my head. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”
He frowned and opened his mouth to say something, but Faxon opened the door and said, “Wake up, sleepyhead. It’s time to eat.”
“Be right there,” I told him and stretched my arms up over my head.
Finn watched our interaction and said, “I’ll meet you at the kitchen.” He shut my door behind him and I heard him yell, “Faxon!” as he walked away.
What was wrong with Finn? He seemed mad at Faxon for something.
I shrugged and changed clothes, brushed my hair, and went through my morning routine. I looked down at my hand and felt as though I was missing something. I had Finn’s ring on, Esmeralda’s bracelet that she had given me for my birthday, and my necklace that my father had given me. I wasn’t missing anything. Weird.
I skipped down the halls to the kitchen and smiled at all of the King’s Steel warriors who were gathered to eat. They looked at me strangely and I wondered what was going on with everyone. I spotted Jared, Esmeralda, Faxon, Eric, and Finn talking together at a table, heads leaned forward conspiratorially. Faxon noticed me first and smiled wide as I walked over.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Faxon waved his hand. “Boring stuff. How was your sleep?”
“Good!” I said happily. “I always sleep better on a ship.”
“I’m glad,” he said with a wide smile.
Why was he so happy?
Esmeralda reached her hand out towards me with an odd look on her face. “Good morning.”
I reached across and gripped her hand. “Good morning. Are we heading out soon?”
Her eyes widened and she turned to look at Faxon who was smiling like he was proud of something. I felt out of the loop.
“What’s going on, really? You are all acting weird.”
“Do you remember…” Jared started to ask, but Faxon interrupted him.
“Where we put that scroll we found yesterday?” Faxon asked.
“In the locked box that you were keeping with you,” I reminded him. He knew that. Faxon never forgot anything.
“Right!” he said and leaned back in his chair. “Of course, it’s in there.”
Jared scowled at Faxon and folded his arms across his chest.
“Hello, Princess,” a male voice that sounded vaguely familiar said beside me.
I turned and smiled at the Commander. I knew his name…Riley! “Hi Riley.”
“You seem better today,” he commented.
“Better? Was I sick last night? I don’t remember being sick,” I said and felt my smile slip a little.
“You were a bit emotional yesterday, remember?” Faxon jumped in to say.
“Yes,” I mumbled. Why was he bringing that up in front of Riley?
“Well, Riley here has the rare ability to help people with that. You probably don’t remember because you were really tired, but once he sat with you a bit, you perked right up.”
Now I knew something was up. Faxon never spoke like this. Riley raised an eyebrow at Faxon, but didn’t speak.
“Um, well I guess, thanks,” I told Riley.
“No need to thank me,” he said and smiled. “I’m just glad that you are feeling good today. I hope that my advice last night helped.”
“It must have,” I said since I had no idea what advice he was talking about.
“You should eat,” Finn told me and slipped an arm around my waist.
He was jealous of Riley? What had gotten into everyone today! “You’re all acting weird,” I told them.
“It’s nothing,” Faxon assured me. “We’re all just glad to be heading home.”
“It will be good to be back in Crilan,” Esmeralda said and smiled at me.
I spooned some food onto my plate, not paying attention to what it even was and ate while I processed everything. My family was definitely hiding something from me. I had no idea what it was…oh right! Faxon had been mad yesterday because of something they found out. I would have to corner him and convince him to tell me.
“Well, I will leave you to your meal,” Riley said. “If you need my help again, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Thank you,” I told him despite not knowing what he had done.
I ate while everyone stared silently at one another and then dismissed myself to go up to the main deck. The cool ocean mist eased my worries and I shoved aside my family and their odd behavior to enjoy being on the sea. It was hard to believe that it had been more than eight years since I sailed on my father, the King of the Pirates’ ship. I wondered what the old man was up to in their new town, the life of piracy behind him now. It still amazed me that he had given up his title to settle on land. I never thought I would see the day. I honestly thought he would die on the sea.
I wondered what Cristoff was up to. That man was a handful, but he was hilarious and had died to save me. Though, with his powers, he hadn’t stayed dead long. I considered writing to him, but wasn’t sure how Finn would feel about that.
The ship’s crew moved about quickly as we prepared to set sail. Their ca
lls and routine movements were relaxing to me. The salty air further relaxed me to the point that I stumbled over to lean against the center mast and sat down with my back against it. I tied a rope around my waist, securing myself to the mast, and closed my eyes. With my eyes closed, I heard everything more sharply and smiled as two crewmembers argued over the proper tying of a knot.
Wind blew my hair around my face, so I took the time to braid it to help keep it out of my eyes. The Captain yelled something and then I heard the plank dragged up onto the deck. The ship rocked a moment and then we were sailing. The wind pressure increased and despite the cold, I was smiling.
“Afraid we’re going to have bad weather?” Finn asked.
I opened my eyes and he smiled at me as he sat down.
“It’s better to be prepared.”
“I don’t think I have ever seen a pirate tie himself to the mast when there wasn’t a storm,” he teased me.
“Well, if I fell asleep as we left dock and we entered a storm without me knowing, I could be tossed overboard before I realized what was happening. Then I would either drown or be left behind.”
He shook his head. “Never. I would jump in and save you.”
I smirked at him. “While that is reassuring former co-captain, I would rather stay dry.”
“You keep using this title, but I never agreed to it.”
“You keep fighting it despite knowing it was truth.”
“Perhaps you are too stubborn to see the truth.”
“Right back at you.”
We stared at each other a minute and then laughed together. He scooted closer to me and took my hand in his, rubbing one of my fingers. “What happened to your ring?” he asked in shock and lifted both hands up to inspect them.
“I never had a ring on that finger, Finn.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it and scowled. “I see.”
“You see what?” I asked.
“I was mistaken, that’s all,” he said. “I was thinking of your other hand.” He took the hand with his engagement ring on it and ran his thumb across the top of my hand. “Every morning I wake up and have to pinch myself to believe that I will be married to a beautiful princess.”
Princess Triumvirate (Pirate Princess, # 2) Page 3
