Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy

Home > Other > Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy > Page 8
Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy Page 8

by Luke Young


  “His loss,” Nicole said.

  “Uh-huh.” Savannah nodded.

  “I’m free. I did just break up with my boyfriend.” Nicole raised an eyebrow. “Well, technically I think I did. He’s a jerk.”

  “I’m sort of between relationships at the moment myself,” Christie said before sipping from her beer.

  Savannah said, “Eli is really cute, isn’t he?”

  “He is.” Nicole agreed. “For a slightly older guy.”

  “He’s pretty hot,” Christie said.

  “I would totally bang him,” Nicole said in a casual tone.

  “Me too,” Christie chimed in.

  “Well.” Savannah smiled, taken aback. “I’ll let you two work that out between yourselves.”

  “Or we could”—Nicole turned to her friend, raising an eyebrow—“both…”

  “We could,” Christie began. “We’ve talked about doing that before.”

  “Even better.” Savannah cocked her head. “What’s good for the goose…”

  “What?” Nicole knitted her brows together.

  “Forget it.” When Savannah saw Eli heading their way, she added, “Here he comes. Just stay safe ladies, okay?”

  “We will,” Nicole said.

  The waiter dropped off the shots right after Eli slid back into his seat. When he spotted all three women gazing at him wearing smirks, he narrowed his eyes. “What’d I miss? Tell me you didn’t buy me a car or something.”

  “No, but that’s a thought.” Savannah chuckled.

  “Don’t you dare! I won’t take it.”

  “I was kidding,” Savannah said.

  He studied Christie’s and Nicole’s faces once again then leaned back in his seat, shooting them a skeptical look. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Savannah replied quickly and picked up a shot glass. “Are we doing this?”

  “Yep. To…” Eli lifted his glass, pausing a moment. “To being alive.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” Savannah said.

  They all tossed back their shots.

  Savannah’s eyes bugged out a bit. She exhaled deeply and rose to her feet. “I’ve got to track down Derek, but I know I’m leaving you in good hands here.”

  “Thanks.” Eli glanced to his two new friends before returning to Savannah. “We’ll miss you.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be back to make sure you don’t skip out on my hotel room offer.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  “Good.” After patting his arm, Savannah shot the girls a wink before heading away.

  Eli cleared his throat. “So, you guys have one more year to go in school?”

  “I do,” Nicole began. “But Christie is behind one semester.”

  “Well, enjoy it. If memory serves, college is pretty much the best time of your life.”

  “We’re having a blast,” Nicole agreed.

  Eli cringed. “Shit, I forgot to check my messages. I’ve had my phone on Do Not Disturb all day. I’m still on call at work. At least, I think I am while they’re still paying me.”

  “What do you do?”

  “Some boring computer stuff. Basically, I put out fires and keep all the systems running.”

  The women both shrugged.

  Pulling his cell phone from his pocket, Eli punched in his password then studied the screen. “No texts or calls from work.” Suddenly he frowned. “Shit, I have five voice mails and seven missed calls from my wife. I’m guessing they’re all from her.”

  “You going to call her back?” Nicole asked.

  “I don’t think so.” He narrowed his eyes at the screen. “And here’s a text from her too.”

  “What does it say?” Christie asked.

  “Geez.” Gasping, he shook his head. “She’s full of shit. I caught her doing it.”

  “Doing what?” Nicole moved to the edge of her seat.

  Eli looked up and rolled his eyes. “I literally saw her doing that with him. Something she would never do with me. And…believe me, I tried to do it—more than once.”

  “What?” Nicole asked.

  “You really want to know? It’s sort of embarrassing.”

  “I do. Tell me,” Nicole replied.

  “All right.” He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

  Nicole nodded casually. “Oh, Christie’s into that.”

  “Really?” Eli asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “What?” Christie wrinkled her nose.

  Smiling, Nicole leaned over and whispered into her ear. A wide grin spread on Christie’s face before she pressed her lips together. “Only that one time and it was okay. With the right guy, I think it could be much better. I’ve been telling Nicole to try it.”

  “I wouldn’t know.” Eli held back a smile. “I was always shot down. For now, it’s just one of the items on my bucket list.”

  “Huh.” Nicole shot Christie a knowing look before placing her hand on Eli’s arm.

  Christie leaned closer to him, running her hand sensually over his other arm. “You probably deserve a little reward for saving Savannah and everything.”

  His stare ping-ponged between their hands stroking him from one to the other and he swallowed hard. “Um, you think?”

  “We do,” Nicole replied.

  Christie said, “We could make your first night of freedom amazing.”

  “We?” Eli wagged his finger at Christie then at Nicole. “Do you mean, um, all of us?”

  “Mm-hmm,” Nicole replied.

  Eli’s lips twisted up into a half-smile. “And here I thought I’d just be seeing the one threesome today.”

  14

  At the end of the after-party, the group climbed into the luxury bus for the short ride to the hotel. Savannah glanced back to Eli who sat between his two new close friends, snuggling up against him. The women were obviously tipsy, bordering on drunk, if not already there. Eli was only slightly in better shape.

  As they stepped out of the bus, Eli had to save Nicole from stumbling to the pavement. He wrapped his arm around her and the three made their way into the lobby behind the rest of the group. Once inside, Derek headed over to Eli with a card key. “Hey, I never officially thanked you for what you did today.”

  “I’m sure you did.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Embarrassed, Eli gave him a dismissive wave of his hand. “It was just a, you know, reflex.”

  “Look, I wanted to say thank you.” Derek put out his hand.

  Eli shook it. “You’re welcome.”

  “I heard you’re taking the plane to Tampa after Atlanta.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Cool, the bus leaves here at noon.”

  “Great,” Eli replied.

  “Hey, you guys have fun now.” Derek handed over the key and gave him a fist bump.

  “Thanks.”

  The elevator opened on the top floor and Eli, Christie and Nicole weaved their way down the hall. Eli squinted, trying to figure out which way to put the card into the lock. On the third try, he finally succeeded.

  After turning on the light, he held the door open and let the women enter. They walked into the large living room area with a minibar, sofa and big screen television. To the right, double doors opened to a bedroom with a king-size bed and a spacious attached bathroom with a separate bathtub and shower.

  “This is a little nicer than the Econolodge,” Eli joked.

  “A little?” Christie touched his arm then headed toward the bedroom. “I’ve really got to pee.”

  Nicole turned back to him. “Go see if there’s champagne in the minibar while we get ready.”

  “You’ve got it.” With a spring in his slightly unstable step, he headed over to the refrigerator.

  In his impaired state, it took him about five minutes to open the champagne. An internal debate on whether to open the three-hundred-dollar bottle occupied the first three minutes. Upon reading the notice that once you remov
ed the item from its computerized compartment you would be charged regardless, he decided to go for it.

  He vowed to hit the cash machine in the morning and pay Savannah back although he was sure she would refuse to accept his money. After locating three glasses, he placed them along with the bottle on a tray and headed toward the bedroom wearing a nervous yet excited smile.

  When he entered the room, he discovered Christie and Nicole both lying face down in bed in their sexy underwear. After placing the tray down, he headed over and sat on the bed, craning his neck to check on Nicole. She was breathing softly with her eyes closed. He pressed lightly on her shoulder and whispered her name. She didn’t budge. Leaning over her, he looked at Christie and discovered her snoring very loudly. He sighed then rose to his feet. Heading to the closet, he retrieved a blanket and moved to the foot of the bed.

  After taking a moment simply enjoying the view of these two beautiful young women wearing only bras and panties looking ever so sexy, he covered them carefully with the blanket.

  Turning, he headed toward the door, stopping halfway when he remembered his overpriced bottle of bubbly. After retrieving it, he plopped down on the sofa and sipped from the bottle. Moments later, when his eyes got heavy under the weight of the alcohol and his incredibly busy day, he passed out cold.

  15

  Nicole opened her eyes and turned to discover Christie in bed next to her. She shook her head then sat up slowly, running her tongue around her mouth, grimacing. As the bed moved and the covers pulled away from her, Christie stirred awake. Frowning and shielding her eyes from the light in the room, she asked, “What time is it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Where is he?”

  “I don’t know.” Nicole slipped out of bed and looked around the room. “What happened last night?”

  “I remember we got back here and, uh…I’m not sure.” Christie sat against the headboard.

  “We were going to open a bottle of champagne I think.”

  “That’s right.”

  Peering through the door to the living area, Nicole spotted Eli sleeping on the couch. “There he is.”

  The two young women made their way to the living room and stood beside the couch. Eli was fully dressed and asleep, snoring softly. The nearly full bottle of champagne sat on the table in front of him.

  “He’s sorta cute sleeping, isn’t he?” Christie asked.

  “He is.” Nicole wrinkled her nose. “Did we…you know?”

  Christie replied, “I don’t think so.”

  Eli opened his eyes suddenly and took in the sight of the two hot young women in their underwear. He sat up slowly and rubbed his hands over his face. “My face literally hurts. I’m never mixing beer and shots again.”

  “Lightweight.” Christie giggled.

  Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. “I could use some Tylenol or something. You guys feel okay?”

  “Yep,” Nicole replied.

  “Huh.” Eli shrugged. “I guess I’m getting too old.”

  “Maybe.” Christie said and the girls shared a laugh.

  “Why’d you sleep out here?” Nicole sat next to him.

  “You guys just passed out.”

  “So we didn’t, um…” Christie widened her eyes.

  “Nope,” He began. “By the time I opened the bottle you guys were sleeping.”

  Christie sat on the other side of him. “You should have woken us up.”

  “I tried, but I think we all had a little too much to drink.”

  “You think?” Nicole quipped.

  “What time is it?” Eli pulled out his phone and his eyes bugged out of his head. “Shit!”

  “What?”

  “The bus leaves for the plane in less than three hours and I need to go the motel, grab my clothes, stop by the place I used to work and get back here.” Eli rose to his feet, looking around the room in a panic.

  “Oh, you have to go?” Nicole looked up at him, disappointed. “We didn’t, you know, celebrate or anything.”

  Spotting his wallet by the television, he grabbed it and slipped it into his pocket. “I know. I know. Believe me, I know.”

  “How long will you be gone?” Christie asked.

  “Not too long. Maybe I can get back here and”—stopping midsentence, his eyes brightened—“you guys wouldn’t want to…? No forget it.”

  “What?” Nicole asked.

  “Come with me,” he began tentatively. “You know, to Florida. It’s crazy.” He rubbed his forehead. “Sorry, I’m not um…”

  “Really?” Christie turned to Nicole and they shared a raised eyebrow look. “You really want us to?”

  Gazing down at the two beauties, scantily clad in their sexy underwear, he shook his head, smiling. “Yes, in fact, I’d ask you both to marry me if I wasn’t already married and if polygamy wasn’t illegal in this state.”

  “What’s polygamy?” Christie scrunched her face up for a moment then she smiled, embarrassingly. “Sorry. Duh, I get it.”

  “What do you think?” Nicole turned to her friend.

  Christie said, “He seems like a good guy. He didn’t, you know…when we passed out.”

  “No, I didn’t.” Eli moved closer. “And you both looked, wow, I mean you’re still in that same underwear. It’s killing me to run out on you.”

  “I’m free for the next two weeks.” Turning to her friend, Nicole shrugged.

  “Me too,” Christie said. “But we need clothes and stuff.”

  “Well, think about it.” Locating his shoes next to a chair, he sat and slipped them on. “Meet me in the lobby at noon if you want to go.”

  “Okay,” Nicole said.

  “If not, I understand. I mean, we just met and all.” Standing, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “I’ve really got to go.”

  16

  After securing an Uber ride to the motel, he collected his clothes, checked out then drove to the office. As he walked through the rows of cubicles, his former coworkers stared and whispered to each other. Sighing in embarrassment, he marched quickly, head down toward George’s office.

  “Hey.” His boss looked up at him, smiling.

  Eli closed the door and sat in the chair. “Everyone is staring at me. Jesus, do they all know I was fired?”

  “That’s not why they’re staring.” George rose to his feet and put his hand out, widening his eyes. “Hero!”

  “What?”

  “It’s all over the news.”

  “What is?” Eli appeared confused as he halfheartedly shook his hand.

  “Stop screwing with me. I didn’t know you could play the guitar like that or”—George raised his palms up—“kick some ass for that matter.”

  “Oh, sorry. Yeah, I was in the right place at the right time. It wasn’t a big deal.”

  “Okay.” George rolled his eyes. “I’ll bet the wife was jealous that Savannah was hanging all over you like that.”

  “No, I mean, I’m not sure.” Eli shook his head. “Shit, I guess I didn’t tell you that we’re through.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I caught her cheating on me yesterday and I left. We’re getting a divorce.”

  “Shit.” George sat, gazing out the window and shaking his head. “You know, I always thought she was cheating on you.”

  “What?” Eli’s jaw dropped open. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know I just had that feeling.” George cocked his head. “Like you weren’t going to be enough for her.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “Eh, you’re better off without her.” George waved his hand at him dismissively then shifted into a smile. “Tell me you banged Savannah last night then.”

  “What? No,” Eli said. “She’s got a boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend shmoyfriend. You saved her life. She owes you.”

  “She’s doing enough for me already. In fact, I don’t have a lot of time. I’m actually getting o
n her plane today and they’re flying me down to Tampa. I’m sort of taking your advice and going on a little vacation. I’m staying at a friend’s house for a while.”

  “Good, so you can bang Savannah down there in sunny Florida.” George raised his eyebrows, grinning.

  “No. Listen, Savannah isn’t interested in me like that. But I did meet a couple of young women last night at the concert. I was hanging out with them and Savannah at the after-party. They actually agreed to go with me. I think.”

  “No fucking way!” George’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Two?”

  “Uh-huh. I guess they’re really happy that I saved Savannah.” Eli nodded, grinning widely. “Yep, really, really happy.”

  “Holy shit!” George gaped. “How young are we talking?”

  “They’re college seniors. I guess they’re around twenty-one.”

  “It’s like you’ve been given a gift from the Make-A-Wish foundation for horny, desperate guys.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just karma.”

  “This trip is exactly what you need.” George looked away pausing for a moment before his lips curled up into a smile. “Hey, I’m going to need you to call in every morning, you know, as part of your severance agreement.”

  “Wait, I thought our agreement was that I’d be on call only if you needed me.”

  “No.” George stammered, “I really need you for our, um, our general status meeting thing.”

  “What general status meeting thing?”

  “It’s new.” George nodded. “Yes, starting tomorrow at 11:00 a.m.”

  “Oh, geez.” Eli scowled. “You’re hoping for details.”

  Leaning forward in his chair, George pointed at him. “Hey, I haven’t had sex with the lights on since college. I need this and I’m the one who signs your checks, remember?”

  “You’re serious?”

  “You bet I am.”

  Eli rolled his eyes. “Okay.”

  George shot him a pointed look. “And use the web video conferencing.”

  “You need video?” Eli sighed. “Seriously?”

  “Yes, I need video.”

  “All right.”

  Opening up a drawer, George sifted through half a dozen bottles of supplements. “Remember those pills I told you about?”

 

‹ Prev