Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy

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Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy Page 29

by Luke Young


  “Sorry about that. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. I think, uh, Brian is in the shower. Would you see if he needs another towel? I tried to catch him before, but, uh…” She trailed off as she handed the towel to Rob and headed past him down the hall.

  “Okay.”

  “I really need a shower, myself.” She walked into her bedroom and closed the door. With her hands covering her face, she slumped against the door; her body trembling.

  20

  Jillian leaned against her door, feeling even more horrible than when she stared at Brian’s exposed penis while he slept. What was she doing? What, exactly, was the plan? This time she had surely invaded his privacy, and she was sure that her actions must qualify as some kind of lesser sex crime. Walking across the room, she stripped off her damp clothes and stood before a full mirror, admiring the reflection of her newly trimmed area.

  As she studied her new look, a shadow of a memory from the previous night took shape in her head. Was Brian in her room last night? Did she show him? Did she tell him about the other day when she saw him sleeping? No way, she thought. I must have dreamt about the show and tell. Sure, she had been out of it, but she wasn’t on sodium pentothal, or anything. It was only a half glass of wine and one Ambien.

  Jillian looked at her reflection in the mirror, still shaking from nearly being caught, but also turned on from seeing Brian do what he did. She ran her hands over her body. Looking at her pussy in the mirror, she slid a finger over what little hair remained. She decided she had to finish what she already started.

  After rushing to the door, she locked it and then fell backward in bed with her hand between her thighs. She imagined it was Brian licking her down there as she closed her eyes, moaned softly, and touched herself.

  Minutes later, in the hall, Rob and Brian walked past Jillian’s room. Rob turned back, approached her door, and then knocked once. “We’re going to lunch, okay?”

  After a few seconds with no response, Rob turned then stopped when he heard Jillian yell back, “Oookayyy,” in an odd voice that sounded like she might be trapped under something heavy.

  Rob and Brian exchanged concerned looks.

  Rob asked, “You okay in there?”

  Jillian called back, “Oh sure! I’m, uh, just about to get wet. I mean, in the shower. Have fun.”

  “All right.” Rob raised a shoulder, turned to Brian, and they headed downstairs.

  The two walked to a restaurant in the mall that was only a few blocks from the house. It was a scorching day, and the choice to walk left them sweaty and hot when they arrived. They each ordered a burger and a beer and then another. Rob shared with Brian how Laura had been insatiable since he arrived, how she seemed different, and how she was more into sex now than ever.

  “Are you doing something new?” Brian asked.

  “I don’t think so, just the same old stuff.”

  “Enjoy it while it lasts.”

  Rob ordered another beer for both of them and looked at Brian apologetically. “I knew I’d be spending a lot of time with her, but I didn’t think she would want to see me so much. She’s wearing me out, dude. I slipped out when she fell asleep. I feel like a dick, though. I brought you here because you were depressed, and now I’ve abandoned you.”

  Brian looked at him as if he was crazy. “I’m having the time of my life. Your house is like a freaking resort. I played tennis today and took a swim, and, uh, your mother couldn’t be nicer.”

  “Is she okay? She mentioned she got a call from my father last night.”

  “I heard some of it,” Brian said, aware that he might be heading into dangerous territory.

  “Was she all right afterward?” Rob asked.

  “She was… She had just taken a sleeping pill. She was kind of out of it and pretty angry at first, but she seemed to have cheered up a little by the time she went up to bed.”

  After taking a sip of beer, Rob looked distraught. “Jesus! Now I’ve abandoned her, too.”

  “She’s fine, really.”

  “Thank God you were there in case she overdosed or fell, or something.”

  “Yeah,” Brian said softly in a guilty tone.

  “I’ve got to tell Laura to back off a little, so I can—”

  “Dude, don’t worry about me or your mom. She’s fine. Look, if I had a hot girl begging to have sex with me repeatedly, I wouldn’t be spending time with another guy and my mother. Seriously.”

  “You sure?” Rob asked.

  “I have some schoolwork to do, anyway, and really, your primary mission should be to have sex with Laura until your dick falls off.”

  Rob smiled at him. “Thanks man. For a while there, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to break up with her or not, but now she’s changed, and I think it could really work out between us.”

  “Spend as much time with her as you want. This is the best vacation that I’ve ever been on. I can honestly say that I’m not thinking about Natalie at all right now.”

  21

  Rob and Brian returned home, exhausted from the heat and buzzed from the beers they had enjoyed at lunch. Deciding to cool off in the pool, they put on their suits and went out to the backyard. There, they discovered Victoria sunning herself in a slightly more conservative bikini (for her, anyway) and reading a hardcover novel. A half-full martini glass sat on the table next to her.

  Glancing at them both, she raised her sunglasses, and a smile crossed her face. She watched while they knocked into each other clumsily as they headed her way. When they reached her, they tossed their towels down on the lounge chairs on either side of her.

  Rob said, “Hey, Victoria. This is Brian.”

  “Oh, we met… yesterday,” Brian said.

  “We worked out together a little,” Victoria added.

  “That we did,” Brian said sharing a quick, knowing smile with her.

  Rob asked, “What’re you reading?”

  “Your mother’s classic, Knight Rider,” Victoria said, with her eyebrows raised.

  “The medieval one?”

  She nodded her head and eyed them suspiciously, certain that they had been drinking. They turned and headed toward the pool, and Victoria focused on their lean, muscular legs as they walked away. After shaking her head, a little dizzied, she picked up her drink and downed it. She watched as they dove in and swam to the far side, then back. When they reached the wall, they launched themselves from the water and sat on the edge of the pool. Rob stood first and walked to his lounger. He adjusted his towel and lay back in the chair next to Victoria. Brian soon followed and fell back into the chair on the other side of her.

  She looked to one side and then the other, and smiled as she eyed their well-defined calf muscles, trying to decide which of them had the better legs. Then she looked up at the sun, which had changed positions, and decided to move to get the best tanning angle and to show off her best asset. She stood, fully reclined the lounger, moved her towel to the opposite side, and lay face down with her feet toward the guys’ heads. Rob and Brian each stole a glance at her shapely ass and shared a look then slipped on sunglasses.

  Victoria knew she could easily have one or both of the young men— probably at the same time. She had promised Jillian that she would not corrupt them, but she never promised she wouldn’t fantasize about it. As she settled on the lounger, the medieval setting and a Jaclyn West-like third person narrative began flooding into her head…

  Miss Victoria sat in her white frock and gazed on the two knights fresh from battle. The three had been captured, tied to trees deep in the forest, and left for dead. The knights wore full, heavy chain mail, so Victoria could not see their faces or any other part of their bodies. The trees were close enough together that she could almost reach out and touch them. The knights’ hands were tied behind the trees, but her hands remained free, as she was only secured about the waist and ankles. Victoria struggled to pull her ropes free but was able to loosen them enough to reach her metal-sheathed companions with ju
st her fingertips. As she stretched further, her frock opened, exposing her gorgeous, abundant cleavage. Both knights’ eyes locked onto her chest, and their loins started painfully expanding in their metal confines.

  Noticing their condition, she sighed and reached out to help. She placed a hand on the waist of each pair of chain mail leggings and miraculously released the clasps that secured them. The leggings dropped heavily to the forest floor with a loud thud. Each knight exhaled deeply as the burden was lifted from his sex. Their manhoods swelled even larger once released from one garment, but they were still encumbered by their battle-stained white underclothes. Victoria tore away the remaining garments, freeing both massive prizes. She licked her lips and stroked both knights’ unyielding swords in an equal but deliberate fashion.

  While Victoria was playing out this fantasy in her head, she wrapped her hands around the legs of the lounge chair, gently stroking each rounded leg as if they were the swords currently starring in her fantasy.

  Jillian arrived home, went upstairs, and looked down from the second story balcony at the three sunbathers. The first thing she noticed was where both her son and Brian were looking. Then, when she saw the apparently obscene gesture Victoria was making with her hands, she narrowed her eyes, groaned, and rushed down to the pool.

  When Jillian reached them, she demanded that the young men go into the house while she had a private word with Victoria. Sitting back in the lounge chair, Victoria smiled at her. “What’s up?”

  Jillian waited until the door closed before she asked, “What the hell was that?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I saw you. What you were doing?” Jillian whispered sternly.

  “I was lying down, and I was almost asleep, too.” Victoria looked at her friend as if she were nuts.

  “What were you thinking about?”

  “Nothing.” Victoria looked away uneasily.

  “And what were you doing with your two hands, exactly?” Jillian placed her hands on her hips with her eyebrows raised.

  “I wasn’t doing anything.”

  “You were suggestively stroking the chair, just like you were…” Jillian glanced back at the house and whispered, “…jerking them off.”

  “How in the hell would you have any idea what I was thinking about? Are you reading minds now, too?”

  “You were between the two of them facing toward their… doing that and shaking your little ass in their faces.” Jillian frowned in disgust.

  “I was not shaking my ass, and, again, how could you know what—”

  “Were you or were you not jerking off my chair while two impressionable young men had their eyes glued to your ass?”

  “Their eyes were really glued? Like, the whole time or—” Victoria smiled.

  Jillian didn’t bother to reply; she simply stared her down.

  Victoria exhaled, defeated. “Okay, so I kinda got a little caught up in a fantasy out here. I was reading your filthy Knight Rider novel.”

  Jillian continued to glare at her, so Victoria added, “Do you know how hard it is to release two knights’ swords from their chain mail confines whilst you are tied to a freaking tree?”

  “I, uh…” Jillian said, unsure how to respond.

  “One handed and at the same time?”

  “That does sound tricky, but—”

  “All that work to get them free, and you interrupted right when it was getting really good!” Victoria glared at her.

  Jillian shot her an accusatory look. “And who were the two knights?”

  “I’d rather not say.”

  Jillian stood with her arms crossed, waiting for the full confession.

  After a few seconds, Victoria said, “Okay, but you know full well what they’ll be up to later, with or without me harmlessly teasing them out here. Wouldn’t you rather they jerked it to the thought of a real, regular woman, rather than some Internet porn star?”

  “You’re a regular woman?” Jillian asked, taken aback.

  “Yes. Yes, I am,” Victoria replied quickly.

  “I don’t think regular women would consider you in their club. You look like a porn star.”

  “Really?” Victoria said excitedly.

  “That’s not a compliment.” Jillian glared at her until Victoria’s smile melted away.

  “Come on, it was just a fantasy. I wasn’t actually jerking them off, or anything. I can control my behavior… for the most part,” Victoria said semi-confidently.

  “Can you, really?”

  “Okay, you obviously don’t want me here,” Victoria shot back angrily as she stood and collected her things. “This is all your fault anyway.”

  “How is it my fault?”

  “I’ve read so many of your dirty little books that I constantly have this third person erotic narrative playing in my head. Do you know what it’s like to refer to yourself in the third person in your own damn fantasy?”

  “I never use my name, but I know exactly what you’re talking about.”

  “I actually used the term ‘his sex’ for penis. I mean who says that? It’s a dick, a cock, a rod, even manhood is okay, but what is this ‘his sex’ thing? What the hell does that even mean?”

  “I just try to mix it up a little,” Jillian said blushingly.

  “Well, knock it off with the ‘his sex’ crap.” Victoria started walking toward the back gate.

  “Don’t go,” Jillian said. “I would just prefer if you didn’t involve my son—”

  “You really need to smoke that joint I left with you. Maybe then you’d relax,” Victoria interjected.

  Rushing after her, Jillian whispered, “Look, I’m sorry. I overreacted. I guess if you want to come over and jerk off my chairs some more, I don’t really have a problem with it.”

  “Oh, you have a problem.” When Victoria reached the gate, she turned back and gave her a snotty look. “And I know you. So don’t go writing this scene into one of your little books or anything, you giant hypocrite.” With that statement, she exited the backyard and slammed the gate.

  Jillian knew Victoria wasn’t really mad, and she was, in fact, already writing a scene in her head based on this conversation. It wouldn’t be the first time—or the last—that Victoria was the inspiration for a chapter here or there. She was a gold mine for erotic fiction.

  22

  Victoria returned to her house and sat out by her own pool. It was time for her pool guy, Kurt, to perform the weekly cleaning, and she always enjoyed watching him. He was gorgeous and happily married, but it was all harmless fun, she thought. Victoria changed into the white see-through bikini, the one that had so mesmerized Brian, and lounged, waiting for Kurt to arrive. Lying face down on her lounger, she decided to try to continue her fantasy where Jillian had so rudely interrupted her. She was still a little mad at her, and this would help.

  Victoria lost the medieval story line, choosing to go with something a little more plausible, by bringing the boys into her pool. She loved doing it in the pool, near the pool, on the diving board—you name it. If there was a pool nearby, Victoria was horny. As Victoria drifted into the third person erotic narrative, she avoided any obscene hand movements. Although if one looked closely enough, one might have noticed, she was humping the chair, albeit only slightly…

  Kurt arrived and jolted her out of the fantasy when he tossed a hose over the fence and onto the lawn, but she didn’t mind. She could return to it later.

  Craning her neck, she discovered that he was shirtless. After exchanging a hello with him, she let her eyes wander to his muscular chest. When she finally returned to his face, she caught him staring directly at her string-covered rear end. Grinning, she let him have another moment before turning over and asking, “Mind if I take a quick dip before you start? It’s so hot today.”

  “What?” He mumbled softly as his gaze dipped down to her cleavage.

  “Mind if I get in the pool before you start?”

  “No problem. Knock yourself out.”
He turned away then raked his fingers through his hair.

  She slowly walked down the steps into the pool, just enough to wet her see-through top, and then she climbed back out. When she did, her hard nipples showed right through the white fabric. She watched as Kurt leaned into the pool to collect water for a test. At that moment, he made the mistake of glancing up at her. With his eyes widened, he lost his balance and fell into the pool.

  After returning to the surface, he looked at her, smiling, and then lifted his strong body effortlessly from the water.

  As Victoria watched him, she held back a laugh. “Are you okay?”

  “New suit?” he asked.

  “Yes, do you like it?”

  “I’d say it’s my new favorite.”

  Jillian arrived, walked to the pool area through the gate, and looked at Victoria, apologetically.

  “I’m not talking to you yet.” Frowning, Victoria folded her arms.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come down on you like that, especially since I think I did something much worse. I, uh—” Jillian started to say but stopped when she saw Kurt nearby.

  Victoria looked at Kurt. “He doesn’t mind a little girl talk. Do you Kurt?”

  “No, I’ve heard some things that would, uh…” he began, but ended by shaking his head.

  Jillian plopped down in a lounger and looked at the newly built house behind Victoria’s. The house was large and about a hundred yards away. The backyard had a clear view into Victoria’s yard.

  Jillian asked, “Did they move in up there yet?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s a shame about your view. Are you still going to have those tall trees planted to get back your privacy?”

  Victoria grinned then looked over at the house. “The view is actually a lot better now.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “There’s a hot guy who moved in there. I’ve been waiting for him to come over, but it hasn’t happened yet. We’ve only exchanged waves a couple of times.”

 

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