by Bryan Cohen
Redican took the beat-up room in stride, using his energy and enthusiasm to keep Ted and the others invested. At least, Ted was engaged whenever he didn't have the urge to stare at Erica, which he continued to do after a few moments of paying attention.
"For all we know, he may have been Prince Hal's dealer," Redican said. "They were drinking buddies. But how would it make you feel if you saw the Vice President, the next person in line, getting drunk at a bar down the street from your house? Ted?"
Ted turned his glance away from Erica for just the second time in at least five minutes. Mr. Redican may have been one of the cool teachers, but his patience for ogling could only be stretched so thin.
"I might worry he'd suck at his job, but at least I'd think he was a cool guy."
Several students laughed politely, though it wasn't quite the ovation Travis had gotten for his joke. Ted didn't mind. After all, the slight chuckling beat the usual silence his comments received before he became a celebrity.
"Great point, Ted," Redican marched the length of his desk. "The people who see Hal drinking with his buddies think he's a cool guy. He's out with the commoners. He's not sitting on some throne somewhere. He's with the people." Redican came to a stop. "Now here's the big question. Is he doing this as a political tactic or because it's fun?"
Erica raised her hand.
"Ms. LaPlante?"
She turned her head to the side and pursed her lips together. "A little from column A and a little from column B."
The class really got behind that one. Even though Erica was dating a former loser, her popularity stock couldn't be higher. The bell rang and Mr. Redican called out the assignment to read through the end of Act IV.
Before Ted could pack up his things, Erica's buxom friend Beth had reached his girlfriend's side. While he had every morning to train with Erica and most evenings to talk hero business, he was still jealous to cede any of his Erica time.
"I can't handle it." Beth tucked her long, red curls behind one ear. "Mr. Redican is too hot for words."
Beth wasn't a quiet girl. Ted figured that Mr. Redican heard every word she'd ever said about his body and his mind, but he appeared to ignore every last one.
As Beth and Erica walked out of class, Ted followed closely behind.
"I see the goods." Erica tossed her hair. "I'm mostly in agreement."
Beth rolled her eyes. "Would you be 100% in agreement if you weren't in love with Captain Eavesdrop?"
Ted cleared his throat. "I'm not eavesdropping."
Beth and Erica stopped and turned around. Ted's girlfriend and protector put her arms around his neck and pulled him toward her. The combination of the sweet smell of her shampoo and the spritz of rich perfume she wore made his heart pump just a little bit faster. She only met his eyes for a second before she looked back at her friend.
"He can listen in on whatever conversations he wants to, as long as I get to kiss him at the end of it."
The words rang true enough, but ever since Erica returned from the dead with a whole new bag of personality, Ted wondered if lines like these were more theatre than reality.
Beth made a gagging sound. "I've officially choked on my own vomit and died." She imitated a corpse. "Can you see if Mr. Redican will come to my funeral and weep over my grave?"
"I'm sure everyone will, Beth." Ted tightened the grip around his girlfriend.
Beth gave Ted a minor death glare and turned back to Erica. "I'll see you in sixth period." Beth gestured at Ted. "Maybe you'll have this out of your system by then."
Beth gave a strained smile and left.
"It's not likely." Erica pulled Ted toward her once again and kissed him on the cheek. She lingered there for a moment. "You need to stop staring at me in class."
Ted's mouth opened wide. "Staring? I would never stare. There's a very interesting poster about Charles Dickens right over your shoulder. I'm sure you just saw me reading that."
Erica took her hands off of Ted's neck and let one hand brush the side of his arm before grasping his hand. Ted interlocked his fingers with hers.
"I'm sure that's the explanation," she said. "You're making it hard for me to concentrate. You've been in school for the last 12 years. I'm trying to get the hang of it again."
Erica looked 17 years old, but Ted needed to remind himself from time to time that she'd been around a lot closer to 17 generations.
"I figured you'd have this stuff down pat." Ted grinned. "Didn't you pal around with Willy Shakes?"
Erica dug her nails into Ted's palm. "You see one play in the 1590s and everybody thinks you're some kind of expert."
Ted knew there was a lot about Erica he'd never know. When would there be time to go over several hundred years of history? But he had a strange feeling about the morning's training session.
"So, where did you have to go today?"
Erica stopped to get a drink at the water fountain and pretended not to hear. "Hmm?"
"Where'd you drive off to? Does it have something to do with the sword?"
After Ted had taken out Nigel and the Torello twins with the otherworldly sword, he suggested that he should walk around with it at all times. Erica had said it was too dangerous and she needed to put it somewhere safe. Not even Dhiraj knew where Erica's secret hiding space was.
"Ted, you need to trust me." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "I only hide things when it's for your own good." Erica took Ted's hand and continued to lead him toward her locker.
Ted trusted Erica, but there was something strange about the way she said "your own good" that gave him pause. He made a mental note to run the conversation past Dhiraj and moved forward.
As they got close to Erica's locker, Ted felt his free hand dig into his pocket. He looked over at the large poster on the wall. It read:
"I Can Be Your Hero, Baby.
Get Your Tickets for Junior Prom."
They were dating, but aside from occasional hangouts with Beth, Winny, Jennifer and Dhiraj, it'd been mostly a private affair. He wasn't sure how Erica would react to being asked out to prom, so he'd put it off. After weeks of being dogged by Dhiraj, he broke into Erica's locker using his powers and placed a "Will You Go to Prom with Me" sign inside. Even though Erica wasn't the same person he'd grown up with, it would still fulfill a lifetime goal if she said yes.
When Erica reached her locker, she gave him a probing glance. "What is it?"
Ted looked up at the ceiling and then the walls. "Oh, nothing. Nothing."
Erica laughed. "You are too strange."
When she reached for her lock, both of their phones buzzed at the exact same time. Ted's heart sank when she put down the lock to check the message.
"It's Sheriff Norris." Erica's popular-girl grin was gone. She'd gone right into game face mode. "There's a robbery and hostage situation downtown."
Ted felt like he'd just heard Erica speak Greek. "In Treasure?"
She nodded. "We better go."
As Erica turned, Ted grabbed her hand. "But, what about sixth and seventh period?"
"Sheriff Norris'll write you a note."
She tried to leave again, but Ted held her firm. He looked back at the locker and wondered if he should just ask her right then and there. "Wait!"
Erica rolled her eyes. "What is it, Ted?"
For a moment, Ted couldn't help but see the old Erica in his girlfriend. The one who'd be willing to end their relationship in a heartbeat. "I... I was wondering if–"
"Whatever it is, we'll talk about it after. Duty calls."
Erica took Ted's hand again and began leading him in a fast-paced walk toward the parking lot. He looked at Erica's locker.
Then Ted used his powers to move the card under a stack of books inside. "You know, sometimes I kind of hate duty."
3
Dhiraj knew he had checked the PayPal balance of Super Ted Finley LLC about 20 minutes ago, but he felt the need to check it again. The numbers were clear: Ted's superhero practice was a million-dollar
enterprise. The crowdfunding campaigns came fast and furiously after Ted's heroics at the diner. There were endeavors to create a costume for Ted, a lair for him to plot against villains, and even a comic book featuring his exploits. Dhiraj corralled every single one, and the end result was seven figures in the account, even after the construction of the lair.
As Dhiraj leaned back in the white, plastic chair, he remembered how he'd dreamed of the day he could manage a million bucks. Soon enough, he'd be able to do his thinking in a high-rent office with glass walls like his father's practice. He figured it would put the study hall room with its boring, taupe paint and its short, green carpet to shame. As the daydream continued, Dhiraj tapped his pencil against his desk so loudly, his neighbor had to catch the pencil in mid-air to stop him. Dhiraj nodded and moved his thought process back to the inside.
What the hell am I going to do with this money?
When the study hall proctor came around to check on computer screens, Dhiraj quickly switched to a decoy paper in a writing program. He sighed as the beep from a text caught his attention. The proctor was about to admonish him when he showed her the text.
"Official hero business." Dhiraj puffed out his chest. "Check the five o'clock news for more info."
Less than a minute later, Dhiraj had packed up and spun his blue subcompact car around to pick up Ted and Erica. He laughed at the rows of luxury vehicles that would need to remain in the lot past three o'clock.
"Suckers."
His passengers were waiting under a red metal awning just outside of Hall B. The three of them had run multiple drills to exit school in an orderly fashion, but this would be the first one with real crime on the other end. Erica sat shotgun while Ted took the back.
"Everybody buckle up." Dhiraj clicked his belt into place. "It's going to be a bumpy ride."
"Why?" Erica followed his advice. "Do you need to get your shocks fixed?"
Ted did the same. "Are we going off-roading?"
Dhiraj glowered. "I just wanted to say something cool." Dhiraj pulled out of the Lexus showroom-like parking lot and gave the gas pedal a push. "Let's be the superhero team that has fun."
Dhiraj merged onto the highway and got into the fast lane.
"Actually, Ted and I are the superhero team." Erica typed a few words into her phone.
"What does that make me?"
Ted chuckled. "The superhero team's driver?"
Dhiraj changed lanes and took the curve of an exit a lot faster than he should have. The tires made a skidding sound. The car was about to spin out of control when Ted steadied it with his powers. Dhiraj could feel the tires moving into the right position without his steering command.
When they'd stopped skidding, Ted returned control to the driver. "Careful there, buddy."
"Just warming you up." Dhiraj put on a fake smile. "Nobody should superhero cold."
"Uh huh." Erica pointed toward the sign outside the shopping complex. "Pull in over here."
Dhiraj parked and scampered around the car to open the door for Erica. She stuck out her tongue at him and exited. Ted followed, and they were about to dash away before Dhiraj held up his hand.
"Guys! Don't forget the gear."
"Oh yeah." Ted rubbed his hands together. "All the secret agent stuff. Did you ever have this as a kid?"
Erica raised her eyebrows. "Sorry, we didn't have plastic yet when I was growing up."
Dhiraj opened the trunk to reveal some of their crowdfunded goodies, including night vision goggles, bulletproof vests and fiberoptic cameras. Dhiraj grabbed the cameras and locked the car.
Sheriff Norris and the rest of his squad were camped outside the jewelry store where the situation was taking place. The shopping center consisted of a chain Thai restaurant, an ice cream parlor, the jewelry store and a couple of knick-knack shops Dhiraj had never entered.
When the three of them walked in, Sheriff Norris and the rest of the department parted like the Red Sea. Ted was in front, with Erica and Dhiraj flanking him. Dhiraj imagined the trio looked pretty awesome; that is, until Ted tripped on a power cord that led into one of the department's vans. He fell forward so quickly that the hero didn't even have time to deploy his powers, landing face-first on the ground. There was a gasp from the onlookers. Dhiraj saw Erica shake her head as the sheriff ran over to help Ted to his feet.
"I'm okay." Ted brushed some dirt from his face. "I'm good."
Sheriff Norris chuckled. "You three sure know how to make an entrance."
"Once we're done learning how to walk"—Erica glared at Ted—"how about you tell us what we've got, sheriff?"
Ted nudged Erica.
"Shouldn't I take the lead on this in public?"
Erica put up both her hands and smirked before taking a step back.
Ted took her place. "What've we got, sheriff?"
"It's a robbery gone bad. Six hostages, one of whom has a potentially serious injury. At least three kidnappers. All of them armed."
Ted squinted. "I don't remember the last time there was a robbery–"
"Four years." Sheriff Norris looked past the three of them to the jewelry store. "Discounting the occasional house burglary, it's been four years since anything like this."
Dhiraj presented the cameras. "You want some eyes on the inside?"
The sheriff's eyes twinkled. "And it isn't even my birthday yet."
Dhiraj set up the equipment as the sheriff and his men guided two of the cameras in through an air conditioning vent on the back of the building. They flipped the devices on and Ted used his powers to maneuver them through two storage closets and into the jewelry store. Before long, they could all survey the scene. Dhiraj flipped a switch, and the sound from inside the store played through a speaker.
"Will you stop crying?!" A scrawny kidnapper stood over the body of an injured hostage.
There was a puddle of blood beside her, and Dhiraj wondered if it was from a knife or a glass wound – shards of glass from the jewelry cases were spread throughout the room.
"Stop looking at her!" The scrawny man gestured to his fellow robbers. "Get the cops back on the phone."
Judging by the way he gave orders, the man seemed to be in charge. That didn't seem to stop him from nervously pacing back and forth.
Ted cleared his throat. "What's the play here?"
Before Erica could say a word, a noise came from the other side of the parking lot. There were voices, one of which echoed louder than the others through a bullhorn. A group of about 50 people marched in unison and began to surround the sheriff's forces.
"Here they are." The sheriff looked over at his squad. "Set up the barricades, boys."
Erica placed her hands on her hips. "Do they have a permit?"
The sheriff nodded. "It just came in before you got here. I was hoping we'd be through already, but they work quickly."
Dhiraj marveled at the growing crowd. He recognized some of them from outside the school parking lot. Most of them were middle-aged or older and carried signs. Dhiraj wondered how any of these folks could maintain a day job while harassing Ted. He looked through the crowd to see if any of their slogans were clever. Most of them said one thing and one thing only.
"Go Home Alien!"
The Go Home Alien movement had grown from a hashtag into something much more annoying.
Dhiraj shrugged. "If only they were protesting robberies."
Nobody laughed at the joke. Erica looked angry enough to punch somebody.
4
Erica watched Ted as he reacted to the arrival of the GHA movement. She'd seen him grow in a lot of ways over the last few months, but this was always going to be the toughest part.
How are you supposed to feel like a hero when it seems like everyone is out to get you?
Erica leaned in toward Ted. "Are you alright?"
Ted squirmed and gave the crowd a final glance before turning to her. She could already see the sweat starting to bead on his forehead.
"Never been better." Ted's
voice cracked. "I'm glad all my fans are here to see it."
Erica put her hand on his back and took a soothing tone. "Hey, it's okay. It's just like the lair. Just you and me."
"And a hundred protestors." Dhiraj looked around. "Oh, and the local news just got here."
Erica moved her hand from Ted's back to the base of Dhiraj's neck. When she squeezed, he yelped from the pressure. "We're coddling now, Dhiraj. We're not writing the screenplay."
Dhiraj shrank from the challenge and nodded. Erica watched Ted as he stared into the camera monitors. She saw a silver necklace on the far wall of the store begin to move as Ted tried to get his bearings.
"You're doing great, Ted." Erica could hear Ted's breathing grow faster. "One step at a time, okay?"
"Sheriff!" Erica waved the lawman over to her. "Can you quiet down the crowd and get your men in position?"
The sheriff returned a dubious look. "We'll do our best. Tell me when he's ready."
Ted let out a huff. "Oh, you'll know." He looked back at the camera and pointed his hands forward.
In the background, Erica heard one of the sheriff's deputies attempt to silence the crowd with a megaphone. Meanwhile, Ted had zeroed in on the weapon of the kidnappers' leader. The gun was in a holster on the side of his black trunks. Through the camera monitor, Erica could see the gun begin to shake.
"Almost got it." Ted was focusing so hard, his eyes could have burned a hole in the monitor. "Almost got it."
"Boo!" A single voice from the crowd bellowed, causing the rest of the mob to join in.
The noise startled Ted, and instead of removing the gun from the man's holster, he unfastened and removed the belt. The kidnapper's black pants, gun and all, dropped to the floor, revealing boxers with pink and red hearts on a white background. While the other kidnappers laughed at their cohort, he seemed poised to kill.
