by T. S. Ryder
This wasn't the type of kisses they'd shared before. Even in the closets with his body against hers, fire stirring in her blood, there wasn't this type of need, the burning sensation on her lips. Her body ached for his and she rolled her hips slowly. Soft gasps and moans escaped her as she clung to him, her eyes rolling up into the back of her head. He tasted so good but so desperate. Like if he didn't get this, he was going to shatter. She could feel him trembling in her arms and it terrified and excited her.
Should I actually do this?
It was why she was here. To reel him in and destroy his heart. Making out in a closet was one thing . . . This was entirely different. She knew if she didn't stop him now, she wasn't going to stop him at all. He would put her on the desk, his pants around his ankles, hers hanging off of one leg. The image drifted across her mind as he moved to her neck. Had the door been closed? Yeah, he had slammed it shut.
"I have condoms in my desk," he whispered into her skin.
Condoms. In his desk. Julia tensed briefly. How many other women had he brought here? Was this where Henry had been conceived? Her doubt intensified. Benjamin had slept with and discarded women before. She wasn't going to be any different.
His mouth moved to her neck and sparks flooded her blood. Her skin tightened her core twisting and swelling. One of his hands slipped between her legs, pressing against her through her clothing. So what if he was planning on sleeping with her and discarding her?
"I'm on birth control," Julia gasped. She'd been on it ever since she decided to come here. "But the condom's a good idea."
Benjamin stood, her legs still circling his hips, and carried her to the desk. There, he set her down and opened a drawer, pulling out a single package. As he set it aside, he looked up at her seriously.
"This doesn't mean anything," he told her. "I don't love you and I will never love you. I'm not that kind of man. It's just sex. No relationship. No emotion."
"Good," she blurted out. "Because I could never love someone like you, either."
There was a brief look that crossed his face and Julia didn't know if it was a disappointment, surprise, or something else. She didn't have long to dwell on it because his mouth came back to hers as he readjusted her on the desk.
"We'll have to be quick," he moaned, unsnapping his pants. "Got it?"
Julia nodded, her face flushed. Her hands flew down her shirt, unbuttoning the blouse. The Prince's big, strong hands wrapped around her breasts. He pushed her bra out of the way and dropped his head, sucking on one and then the other. Her core coiled tighter and she thrust her chest out, giving him better access. Benjamin had one arm around her while he worked at her pants with the other. He tugged them off her without even undoing them. As he continued to worship her breasts, a hand pushed between her thighs.
"Okay," he breathed, vibrations from his mouth tightening her skin. "It's okay if you don't want to do this . . . If you have any doubts . . . "
Her heart clenched as he looked up at her again. His stormy eyes were wide, as though it was him who was the one doubting himself. His fingers moved gently against her, causing shivers to roll up and down her spine. She cupped his face in her hands, panting. They'd agreed there was no emotion between them, but she could see it rolling off him in waves. A chill swept over her skin, making her shiver.
She pulled him close again, kissing him hard, not letting herself think of anything besides the moment – being there with Benjamin. The feeling that there was a pain in him, matched by her own, overtook her need for revenge and replaced it with a need for the only comfort. Part of her mind told her to stop, but she wanted him. She needed him. She hooked her knees over his hips, grinding herself against him.
Benjamin groaned and dropped his mouth to her neck. His teeth scraped her skin, leaving tingles behind. It fired out to every inch of her, making her cry out. His hand was still between her thighs and she reached down for him, surprised by how ready he already was. With a groan, he grabbed the foil package beside them and ripped it in half. Julia leaned back, bracing herself on the desk as she watched him put on the condom.
"Ready?" he asked.
She nodded, breathless.
He pushed in slowly, making her tighten. Her arms trembled and she nearly collapsed onto the desk before Benjamin caught her. His arm circled her waist while the other cradled her shoulders. He brought her tight against him, his shirt abrading her sensitive nipples as he began his rhythm. It was fast and hard, making her mewl at once. She clung to him, mouth hanging half-open, her eyes wide in her skull. The prince growled in his throat as he moved, keeping her close, his breath hot as it fanned over her face.
"Are you—" He grunted, his head dropping to her shoulder, "okay?"
Julia closed her eyes, bringing him tighter against her. She didn't respond as she rolled her hips, increasing the contact between them. Something was twisting inside her, a hot feeling sweeping down her legs. She carded her fingers through his hair as his movements became jerky. With a grunt, he put his hand between their bodies, using his thumb to build the fire in her core.
Should I even—
The thought disappeared in a wave of pleasure. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as the tightness inside of her exploded. It rushed down her limbs, filling every bit of her. Eventually, she became aware that Benjamin had stopped moving, his chest heaving. Julia rubbed her thighs against him, mewling as the shockwaves lessened.
The regret crashed over her harder than she had expected. Benjamin must have sensed it because he tensed as he withdrew from her. His eyes met hers and silently they stared at one another, still panting, still trembling. He swallowed hard.
"I'm sorry."
Was he sorry? Julia choked out a laugh. "No. No, I am. I shouldn’t have . . . You asked me and I . . . You don't have anything to be sorry about."
The Dragon opened another drawer and pulled out a package of wet wipes, which he used to clean her up. All the while Julia trembled, a confusion of emotions crashing down all around her. She hated him for what he did to Cynthia. Her friend had gone through so much pain. She cried herself to sleep every night, worrying about her future. She lost her family. She lost her job. She lost everything. She hadn't even been able to properly hold her own child. She told Julia more than once that she loved Henry's father but that he could never know she was pregnant.
And she had just had sex with him. Her enemy. The man who destroyed Cynthia's life.
Julia hopped off the desk and dressed, not looking at the prince as he cleaned himself up. He was a pro at this. How many women had been on his desk with him feeling what she had felt? But he was sure to tell me that nothing was going to come out of this. And when he saw I regretted it, he said he was sorry.
"Julia, I . . . " Benjamin cleared his throat. "I'm not sure if—"
"I think this should be the end," she said, keeping her voice level. "I said from the start that I didn't want to sleep with you on the job and now look at what we've done. It's as much my fault for not keeping up the boundaries. I should never have let you kiss me, to begin with."
"Julia—"
Her pager went off, signaling the end of her shift. She tucked her shirt in and smoothed her hair. Not looking at Benjamin, she left the room.
Her body still tingled, legs weak from the after effects, but she managed to keep herself steady as she retrieved Henry from daycare and went home. There, she made up a bottle for him and cuddled with him on the couch, her mind a mass of confusion.
Cynthia had been her best friend. The one she could rely on, no matter what. When Julia had gotten her heart broken again and again by men who lured her in, told her that they loved her until she slept with them and then kicked her to the curb, Cynthia was always there. She was always happy, always ready with an encouraging word or a smile on gray, rainy days. And now she was gone.
What am I doing? I can't fall in love with him. I'm not falling in love with him! Was that how he seduced Cynthia? By pretending to be so soft and carin
g?
The tears came suddenly. Julia tried not to sob, tried not to disturb Henry as his eyes started to close. If Cynthia hadn't gotten pregnant, hadn't been too scared to tell Benjamin she was pregnant . . . then she would have been here in the city. She would have been at the hospital when she went into labor, and instead of crashing the car, she would have been safe indoors as the storm raged around her.
I'm glad I slept with him, Julia thought as the image of Benjamin's pained gaze floated across her mind. It will make it easier to hurt him.
And she almost believed it.
Chapter Six – Hearts Will Burn
Benjamin tossed some jalapeno peppers into the sautéed onions and stirred them, trying to focus his mind on his current task. Whatever he did, he needed to not think about Julia and that look of regret on her face after they'd had sex. On his desk. Seriously, what was wrong with him? He'd taken her like an animal, and she didn't deserve that. There hadn't been enough time to make sure that she knew that there wasn't anything happening after it. Yeah, he'd stated his terms, but without any real conviction. And the sheer level of emotion that was present . . .
He shook his head, a ball of disgust settling in his stomach. He would have to find a way to make it up to her, but right now, he needed to make sure his meal wasn't burning.
The soft patter of footsteps made him turn. The little blonde housekeeper, Natalie, entered the kitchen. Benjamin nodded at her in greeting. She nodded back, looking uncertain, and retrieved a glass of soymilk from the fridge.
"How can you stand to drink that stuff?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.
Natalie glanced at her beverage. "Well, I prefer almond milk, but I know that you and the queen are deathly allergic to almonds."
"Not that allergic. We'd have to eat a heck of a lot for it to have any real effect."
Natalie shrugged. "One cannot be too careful. Are you making the queen's supper again?"
He added chili peppers to the rice and nodded. "Can't be too careful."
"You think she's being poisoned?"
Benjamin's eyes darkened. It was his natural inclination, although all the tests they had run looking for toxins were negative. Not that he could discuss this with Natalie. No matter how long she had been with them, she wasn't part of his inner circle. Not that he had much of an inner circle.
"Isn't that too much pepper?" Natalie looked in horror as he added cayenne.
The prince laughed. "Dragons like their food spicy. We can tell the difference in taste between a green cayenne and a red one. We have a fire in our guts, after all."
"Spicy . . . " Natalie sighed. "Is that why you're so obsessed with Julia? I know it's not really my place to interfere in your highness's personal life, but Julia is one of my workers and I feel like I must speak. She has a young child – a baby she needs to take care of. Your insistence on pursuing her has put her in a bad situation. We all know what will happen when this ends badly. And it always ends badly."
"I didn't know you knew so much about my love life." He narrowed his eyes at her. She'd been at the palace for a long time and knew more than most about the details of the Royal Family's private life. That didn't mean he wanted her to know the most intimate details.
Natalie went scarlet. "Your Highness, I mean no disrespect."
"We're talking as equals right now," Benjamin interrupted, softening his gaze. "Julia has told me that the two of you are friends. So, see this as talking to a friend's . . . " Not boyfriend. "One-night stand."
"Is it only one night, though? I watch the video feeds all over the palace. I know when you steal her into closets and interrupt her work. It's making her have to work overtime in order to get her responsibilities done, and if you don't think that Fredrick isn't going to notice . . . " Natalie shook her head. "How am I supposed to explain to him that the reason she didn't finish her work was that you were making out with her? She could be fired."
"She's not going to be fired because—"
Natalie rolled her eyes. "Like you'd know! Your girls get fired all the time and you don't even notice because you've moved onto the next one already. You will be a good king one day, but as a prince, you're selfish and—"
Her eyes widened and she clapped her hands over her mouth. Benjamin stared at her for a moment before turning back to the meal he was cooking. He threw some chicken in a skillet and removed the sautéed peppers and onions from the heat. He had found it odd that so many of the girls he slept with disappeared from the palace, but when he asked, it always seemed like they had quit, not been fired.
"Thank you for telling me this," he said slowly. "I didn't know that—"
His PA, a skinny little Dragon named Nicolas, rushed in, his eyes wide. He sprinted across the kitchen to Benjamin and thrust a tablet into his hands. "Ben, you've gotta see this. She is out of control!"
"Julia?"
Nicolas's brow creased. "Who? No, Caitlyn. She's made this big public announcement, going on and on about how you've dealt a grievous insult towards her." He focused on Natalie. "Get out."
Benjamin shot Nicolas an annoyed look, but before he could ask Natalie to leave rather than snap at her, the housekeeper had already scurried out, leaving behind half a glass of milk. Nicolas made an impatient noise and tapped the tablet. Caitlyn's image showed up on the screen, her normal pouting expression replaced by one of sorrowful outrage. Benjamin couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"As a result of the insult dealt with me by the crown prince . . . " Her eyes were wide, and tears actually glimmered on her cheeks. "I am hereby cutting trade with Enderby . . . I know this blow will be difficult for us to absorb, but I am confident that we will come out stronger than ever. I urge my allies to rally around the kingdom of Northfall and deliver Enderby the same treatment as it has given us."
Benjamin turned off the tablet and set it down. Leaning against the counter, he closed his eyes. The mess with Julia couldn't have come at a worse time. He needed to cut it off. With Caitlyn's announcement, he didn't have the time or energy to spare to work things out. Could he . . . ? No. He needed to focus his energy on containing the situation with Caitlyn.
"Try to keep this news from my mother as long as possible. She's been doing better lately and I don't want her to relapse."
Nicolas nodded, squirming in his shoes. "It sounds like a cry for war to me. Your mother will find out about that."
"Until Caitlyn offers an official declaration or starts to mobilize against us, we have to treat it like a situation that can be fixed."
Another nod. Nicolas hesitated. "And what about that other girl you talked about? Julia? Is she the one you were in your study with yesterday?"
"I will deal with my own personal life," Benjamin said more sharply than he intended. "But I want a copy of her personal records – phone number, address, that sort of thing. And I don't want her fired."
Nicolas looked confused for a moment but nodded. With that done, Benjamin dialed the number he dreaded phoning: Caitlyn's personal life. After several rings, she answered. There was a smug quality to her voice that had Benjamin's teeth grinding. The fact that she could get him in this state so quickly was a bad sign, but he tried to keep himself calm.
"So . . . Are you calling to apologize to me, Benny? Or perhaps to accept my offer of marriage after all?"
"I'm calling because of the statement you released. You do realize that cutting trade will hurt your kingdom more than mine, don't you? This is childish and if you think you can force me into—"
"Into acting like a decent person? Until you're ready to publically apologize, I suggest you don't call me again."
She hung up. Benjamin growled, resisting the urge to slam the phone onto the counter. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Nicolas. "I am going to bring my mother her supper and then I want to talk with the council. Get them here. I don't care what it takes."
Nicolas nodded. As he left, Benjamin quickly finished the meal and took it up to his mother's room. She sat at a table reading a letter, a ha
rd look in her eyes. The envelope sitting beside her had the Northfall seal on it. He tensed. Had Caitlyn sent a letter to his mother about what he said?
"Mother, I—"
The queen held up a hand, stopping him. She finished reading the letter and folded it before fixing a fierce glare onto him. "What did you do?"
"Nothing I can't fix," he promised. "As soon as I'm done here, I'll release an official apology. I messed up, but I'll fix it."
"Good. Because I . . . " Maria put a hand to her chest. "I—"
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed. Benjamin sprang to catch her as she fell. Her body was utterly limp. Adrenaline surged through his blood and his heart jumped to his throat. Cradling his mother to his chest, he raced out the door, yelling for help. A few guards came to see what was happening, along with several servants, before the doctors got there. They pushed Benjamin out of the way and started checking Maria's vitals.
"Your Highness," one of them said, barring him from getting closer. "Your Highness! You can't help right now. Let us do our job."
"What's wrong?" Benjamin demanded, trying to push the little man out of his way. "What is wrong with her?"
"We're going to look after her."
A stretcher was raced down the hallway and Maria was lifted onto it. The guards blocked Benjamin's way as she was wheeled away. He turned away from them and fled.
Chapter Seven – A Turn in the Wind
"Thank goodness you haven't left yet!"
Julia bit back a groan. Henry was fastened in his car seat, ready to head home, and Natalie chose that moment to come get her. She tried to keep her expression polite as she turned to face her supervisor. The whole day, she had been stressed about seeing Benjamin but had been lucky. She wasn't sure she could face him after the day before . . . The guilt ate up her insides and she wasn't sure what she was going to do now. Things had gone way too far.
She really didn't want to have to try to pretend everything was good around Natalie.
