by T. S. Ryder
Don't be a coward, Julia. Every excuse you make is just that ― an excuse. This has to happen and you know it. Better rip the band-aid off quickly.
"I have to go," he whispered. "Will you be here tonight?"
"Yes," she promised before she could remember why that was a bad idea.
Benjamin pressed one last kiss to her mouth before leaving. She slumped onto the desk, breathing hard. What was she going to do now? How could she hurt Benjamin more when he was already in such pain?
She was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost forgot that Henry wasn't in daycare, but rather with Benjamin's PA. He'd be waiting for her now in the lobby. She hurried to the opulent room, focusing on what she needed to do right away. Collect Henry and go home.
Benjamin beat her to the lobby and was holding Henry while he and Nicolas talked in low voices. Julia's chest twisted but she headed towards them, trying not to let her guilt and confusion show.
A man in a guard's uniform came at her. She patted her pockets, looking for her lanyard and pulled it out just as he reached her. But as she opened her mouth to tell him that it was okay and she was allowed near the prince, a flash of silver caught her eye. Instinctively she jumped back, the blade in the man's hand scraping over her ribs as she did so. Pain blossomed as blood welled up through her shirt.
Julia screamed. The man lunged. She threw herself to one side, tripping over her own feet.
And then Benjamin was there. He roared as he slammed his fist into the man's chest. The knife went flying. Smoke billowed into the air and streaks of flame shot from Benjamin's mouth. He pummeled the man, who wildly tried to defend himself. The man fell back a step and the prince pressed forward, eyes blazing. Another burst of flame set the man's uniform alight and he yelped, swinging at Benjamin's face with one hand while beating at his clothing with the other.
Hands grabbed her. Julia let out another yelp as she was dragged to her feet but it was only Nicolas, cradling Henry in one arm while he pulled her away from the fight. Benjamin kicked the man's feet out from under him and pinned him to the floor while guards rushed in.
Julia reached for Henry but stopped when pain shot through her. Her shirt was slick with blood, making her feel dizzy. She swayed on the spot, clutching Nicolas's sleeve. Benjamin rushed over to them and gathered her into his arms.
"Those guards took their sweet time coming," she mumbled through teeth gritted against the pain. "You could have been killed."
Benjamin carried her out, Nicolas close behind. "He wasn't trying to kill me."
"Then why—" Julia cut herself off as she understood. The assassin hadn't been after the prince. He'd been after her. But why? A glance at Benjamin's face was all the answer she needed. They were after her because she was with him. Her stomach twisted and she clung a little tighter to his neck. "Who sent them?"
"I don't know yet," Benjamin said grimly. "But I'm going to find out."
***
After taking her to the hospital wing and getting her bandaged up, Benjamin had taken Julia back to his room and posted guards throughout the hall to make sure that no unauthorized person came up. The one that had attacked her before was an imposter, proven by how quickly his clothing caught flame. All palace uniforms were made from a material impervious to Dragon fire.
The painkillers she'd been given made Julia sleep for a couple hours. When she woke, Benjamin was still there, giving Henry a bottle. For a moment her whole body felt warm and a smile graced her face before she remembered what had happened – and what had to happen soon.
She sat, moving carefully, and Benjamin smiled at her.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
"Like I was stabbed and drugged." She shuddered. "Have you learned anything about the person who attacked me?"
Benjamin sat beside her and moved Henry to his shoulder. It had taken her weeks to learn how to burp the baby properly and Julia felt a spike of awe and jealousy as Benjamin patted the baby's back, getting a burp with ease. Henry made a cooing noise and smiled at her.
"He was hired to kill you in the palace," Benjamin said, a dark look passing over his face. "The instructions he'd been given were very clear. Whoever it was wanted you to die here. First Natalie poisoning Mother and now this? I don't feel safe in my own home anymore. It was probably Caitlyn who did it."
Julia's mind flashed to Maria. But no, the queen had no reason to want her killed in the palace. Besides which, there was no time between Julia telling her the truth of what she had done and the queen collapsing for her to have hired a hitman. Caitlyn or any number of Benjamin's enemies and rivals were the most likely culprit.
"I was targeted because we're together," she said slowly. "Because they think there is a possibility I could become your queen."
Benjamin flinched. "Isn't there?"
"Not when people are trying to assassinate me just for sleeping with you."
Julia could have kicked herself the moment the words popped out. That wasn't fair to him. She was going to end things before this mess happened but the way she was going at it, the prince would think that it was because of the attack. She opened her mouth to explain but Benjamin cut her off with a kiss.
"I know it's frightening," he whispered, putting an arm around her waist. "But I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. Security has been increased and nobody is going to be able to get anywhere near you. And if they do, I will rip them to shreds."
"Benjamin—"
Another soft kiss. "I don't know what it is Mother thinks you need to tell me but nothing can change how I feel. I lo—"
"Don't!" Julia jumped to her feet. She backed away from him, trembling as though he was the one that came at her with the knife. "Don't you dare say it!"
Benjamin stood, still cradling Henry on his shoulder. His brow knit but there was such warmth in his eyes that Julia wanted to scream. "Why? It's the truth, Julia. I'm not sure how it happened, but I want to spend the rest of my—"
"I'm warning you, stop!"
"—life with—"
"Benjamin! No!" Julia pressed her hands over her eyes, pleading. It didn't help.
"—you. I love you."
Julia screwed her eyes shut tight. No. This couldn't be happening. He couldn’t have just said the last thing she wanted to hear. Her heart pounded, bile tasting in her throat. Her stomach coiled and tears burned her eyes. A part of her wanted to sing and shout hallelujah, but the rest of her was filled with dread. Did he love her? He wouldn't for long. Not when he found out what she really was. And it would rip her heart out.
"You don't love me," she choked. "You can't love me. You don't know me. You're just using me like you've used all your women. Only now you need a mate, a queen, so the other kingdoms will stop attacking you. You don't love me. I don't love you."
A lie if there ever was one.
"Julia—"
"No. No, I don't want to hear it. Give me my baby. I'm leaving. I'm not going to stick around to be assassinated over something so stupid. Love? What is that, anyway? Nothing but hormones and chemicals in the brain making you do stupid things. Give me my baby!"
Benjamin handed over Henry. The yelling had made him start whimpering and fussing. Julia held him close, trying to soothe him. She glared at the prince, who stared at her with such a bewildered, hurt expression that she wanted to take it all back. But she couldn't. It was as much for his good as it was hers. Now she didn't have to tell him how she was just using him and he wouldn't have that pain.
"It's over," she said. "I was going to break up with you tonight, but I guess it's just come early. Go find yourself someone else to be your queen."
She marched past him, trying and failing to stop the tears from pouring down her face. Her heart felt like it had crumbled into dust. But it was for the best. For both of them. Benjamin deserved someone better than her . . . someone capable of real love.
Chapter Twelve – The Truth
Benjamin paused outside of Julia's door. After their fight – he still was
n't sure why she had gotten so angry, it must have just been stress and nerves – he had managed to convince her to stay in the palace for Henry's sake. He could hear the baby whimpering so that probably meant Julia was still awake. It was late at night, but he had been called for an emergency meeting.
The hostilities that had halted when Maria woke from her coma were back in full force now that she was in the hospital again. She was awake but severely weakened. Her repeated exposure to almonds had left her immune system severely compromised. Without her advanced healing, she had contracted a severe case of pneumonia, which was affecting her heart as well as her lungs.
Would she make it out this time?
The prince pushed his doubts aside while his fire smoldered and continued on. He had to take care of the kingdom and trust that the doctors would take care of his mother. He soon made it to the war room and took his seat. The generals were slower to get there, but then again, none of them lived in the palace. When they had all arrived, Benjamin called the meeting to order.
"Caitlyn and her allies are gearing up for a full-on war," General Karl stated when he was given the floor. "Our allies have made only shallow actions against them. If this ends in battle, I fear that we'll be in this alone. Nobody believes in an unmated Dragon. Your Highness, you need to be married."
Benjamin pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I know the council gave you to the end of the year, but you need to announce your marriage immediately. You are the similitude of the kingdom. Our enemies see you as weak and, therefore, the kingdom is weak. I've heard that you have had a human in your rooms every night for—"
"Leave her out of this," Benjamin interrupted.
Karl bowed his head briefly but didn't stop. "I know that she's a housekeeper and there will be some opposition to someone in your position marrying one so lowly, but a servant for a wife is better than no wife at all."
"I told you to leave her out of it."
He knew that this was how it was going to go. He didn't have time to drag his feet anymore – he needed to marry. But Julia had ended things between them. Would he be able to convince her to give them another shot? Did he even want to marry her when he couldn’t be sure he was doing it for the right reasons?
"Give me two days." He looked at Karl. "I'll have a mate by then."
One of the other generals scoffed. "The housekeeper?"
"In the meantime, I want our enemies and allies both to know that we're not going to quail before them," Benjamin continued, ignoring him. "We are a strong kingdom, even if the prince doesn't have a future queen. My mother may be sick, but she is not dead and she is still strong. And I will have none of you doubt that. Understood?"
There were nods around the table. The meeting shifted to what they needed to do to defend the borders should the worst happen, but Benjamin struggled to keep his mind on the task at hand. His mind was filled with Julia. What had she told Maria that she was so frightened to tell him? The memory of her tears made his stomach twist. What could be so horrible to make her cry that much?
Maybe she was pregnant. They had been careful, but even then, accidents happened. But would a pregnancy really make her say the things she had – that he wouldn't care about her once he knew the truth? Unless she had terminated the pregnancy . . . The thought made his stomach clench, but if she had done that, it was because she didn't see an alternative. She would have felt trapped and frightened. Julia would not fight so hard to keep Henry and then give up another child unless she honestly felt there was no other way.
But even that scenario didn't seem like it was the reason for Julia's tears. There was something else going on. Did she just think that he was only with her because he had to marry? His mind turned to his first thoughts. Was she married? He had only ever smelled baby powder on her, so she wasn't with her husband if she was married.
"My lord?" Karl stared at him.
Benjamin focused again. The general had just proposed to send a message to Caitlyn asking to negotiate an end to these hostilities. The prince nodded. "Good. Do it. Is there anything else?"
There was no response, so Benjamin stood, dismissing the meeting. As soon as he was out the door, his thoughts turned back to Julia. What was she hiding from him? There was something at play and he needed to know what it was. His jaw tightened as he headed for her room.
Henry's whimpering had stopped. Benjamin could hear Julia singing softly to her baby. He knocked and entered. She sat on a rocking chair, the baby bundled in her arms. Her eyes widened when she saw him coming in.
Benjamin dropped to one knee beside her. "You have to tell me."
"I know. I just . . . Let me put Henry down and then we can talk."
He nodded. Julia rocked a moment longer before taking the sleeping baby back to the bedroom, then returned to the den of the suite. She perched on the edge of the couch, hands twisting in her lap. For a long moment, she stared down at the carpet, then finally brushed a hand over her face and looked up.
"Before I begin, I need to know. Do you remember a girl who used to work in the palace named Cynthia?"
"Cynthia?" Benjamin scrunched up his face. There had been a time when he only went for girls with names starting with C. He shook his head.
Julia's eyes flared for a moment but her anger was short-lived. She slumped back on the couch and shook her head. "I didn't expect you to."
"Who was she?"
"My best friend. And Henry's mother."
A ball of dread slipped into Benjamin's stomach and his mouth went dry. She couldn’t mean . . .
"Cynthia got a job at the palace. Then she started up a secret affair with someone. She wouldn't tell me who. She got pregnant, quit her job or was bullied out of it, was kicked out of her family and had to go live out in the country in order to afford rent for herself. When she went into labor, I was with her. Our car crashed. Henry was born just before she died and she told me that you were his father."
Benjamin sucked in a deep breath. He sprang to his feet and rushed past her, ignoring her soft gasp. It was only after he threw the door to the bedroom open that he remembered that he needed to be quiet. Creeping up to the bassinet, he gazed at the little one inside. Henry slept peacefully, but he saw the similarities between the baby and himself now. The shape of his nose, the arch of his eyes, even his ears.
His son. Benjamin stroked the downy head with a trembling hand. He had a son. A perfect, beautiful little boy. The prince pulled away from the baby, heart pounding. Why had she kept this from him? Slowly, he moved back to the den, mind whirling. Julia still sat on the couch and he sat down beside her.
"Why didn't you tell me? He's my son and you never said anything."
Julia leaned forward, hiding her face in her hands. "I blamed you for Cynthia's death. I thought that you must have kicked her out the moment she got pregnant. I was angry, grieving. It's my fault she's dead, but I couldn't handle that, so I pushed all my anger onto you. I came here . . . I came to get close to you. To make you fall in love with me so that I could emotionally destroy you."
"No." Benjamin leaped to his feet. He shook his head wildly. "No. You're not . . . "
"I'm sorry." Her voice was little more than a whisper. "After I realized that you weren't the monster I thought you were, I wanted to stop. I didn't want to hurt you. But then . . . things just continued and it got out of hand. I'm so sorry. Benjamin, if I could go back—"
"You weren't going to tell me I had a son?"
Julia's tear-stained face rose to his. "Even now, do you remember who Cynthia was?"
He didn't. There were too many girls and he had never been with any one of them more than a handful of times. "That's not the point! You lied to me. Used me. You . . . you aren't the person I thought you were. You're nothing more than a con artist."
"Benjamin—"
"I am your prince. You will address me by my title."
She fell back on the couch, sobbing, but Benjamin wasn't about to let her tears soften his heart. He'd never
felt so angry, so in pain. His heart twisted every which way and he let out a low growl, smoke seeping from between his teeth. The flames scorched his throat and he wanted to scream and shout and demand why. Why? Why?
But she had already told him why. Because she thought he was a monster.
Benjamin turned on his heel and marched away, unable to look at her for another moment. He wasn't going to stay with a liar and a con-artist . . . Someone who didn't care one iota about him.
Chapter Thirteen – Wake of Destruction
He hated her. He had every right to, but watching him walk away still felt like a shattered mirror driving its broken shards into her heart. She clutched at her chest and would have been unsurprised if it came back bloody.
It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. The truth was supposed to set her free. What a load of bull. She should have just kept her mouth closed. Then she and Benjamin could go their separate ways and she would never have had to see the pain in his eyes as she told him what she had done. The tears continued to roll down her face.
But it was for the best, wasn't it? Getting the truth out there. Letting him know exactly why there could never be anything between them.
He slammed the door shut behind him as he left and Julia jumped to her feet. She couldn’t let it end like this. She chased after him, his name on her lips. She caught up with him just outside her room and reached for his hand. As soon as her skin brushed his he pulled back as though she had burned him.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I realized what I was doing was wrong and I wanted to tell you. I didn't know how. I never meant for it to get this far."
"You meant for it to end exactly like this."
Julia shook her head. "No. I didn't. I should have ended it long ago, I just . . . I . . . I started to care. I didn't mean to. But I knew you weren't the person I thought you were, I had already changed my mind about destroying you before I started caring. I was just grieving Cynthia and unable to handle my own guilt. I was lashing out."
Benjamin stopped. For a moment her heart rose with hope. Maybe, just maybe, he could forgive her. Those hopes were dashed when he turned. There was no forgiveness, no softness in his eyes. Sheer anger exuded from him and she knew it was useless. He'd never forgive her for what she had intended on doing.
